A busy but wonderfull day, we have a lift off in 3, 2, 1, zero, excitment has started!

 Busy but wonderfull day, we have a lift off in 3, 2, 1, zero, excitment has started!

Wonderfull day with loads of sunshine, the morning started with a nice shower, getting dressed, breakfast, getting nervous & excited and the coffee break. While sitting outside drinking coffee the sun was shining in my face and it felt good, I had everything ready for picking up the keys and signing the contract. Within 30 minutes me and Nicole (staff member Humanitas) are taking off to the housing corporation, I was getting excited and nervous, I wanted to go already. Me and the residents were having a little conversation about getting a house with the coffee break, some residents are still searching for a house. I waited and searched aswell, some residents have luck and some don't, I know a resident who has been searching and waiting for more then 18 months, sigh. I hope he gets a house as soon as possible, he deserves it!

Living room.

It was time to go to 'Beter wonen,' the name of the housing corporation. Me and Nicole jumped on our bikes and we were heading off, the sun was shinning and I was more then ready. When we arrived there was a nice lady asking us to wait, we will be picked up by another lady. The other lady picked us up and guided us to her office, she congrated me with the new house and shooked my hand, and I thanked her. The ussual paper work and signing the papers I regonized from the last time I was getting a house, I thought, "Hey, I known this from the last time." I thought it would be difficult to understand all the explaining, but it was quit understandable, easy! After the explaining and signing the lady overhanded me the (many) keys, she shook my hand again and wished me good luck with the new house. Sigh, wonderfull! I felt good! Next thing to do was paying the first rent, I have to pay for the first month and a few weeks, it's quit alot money but that's normal the first time. 

Build in closets in the livingroom and aswell the kitchen.

I had the keys and I wanted to have another look in my house, it was okay with Nicole. I really have to get used to the many keys, there's so many of them. While entering the house I had a good feeling cause the rooms were looking so nice, and they seemed much bigger. To be honest, I like the house even more then when I visited it the first time. And the rooms are still empty and not decorated, I saw a few things what I didn't saw the first time with visiting. I have a electric sunscreen ,(woot) I found another build in closet in the halway and above where the gas stove comes to stand hangs a extractor hood, (google translate?) it keeps the smoke from the cooking and heat away. The paying from my rent I will do automaticly, it's much more handier, I will do it aswell with the other stuff what I have to pay, all automaticly. 

Sleeping room.

The second appointment I had was at 2:00 pm, the furniture project, where you can get anything for free! Last time I went there I was a bit to hectic, and I was soked wet from the rain. Now I took my time and looked at anything what I can possibly need, sometimes you feel a little bit of pressure walking there, like you have a time limit to have a look around. This time I felt no rush, it was actualy nice looking around. The furniture wasn't that nice, I saw one round dinning table but it was to big and the chairs with it were rubbish. Withing 30 minutes I was done with peeking around, I found a few things where I was happy with,  a microwave, three dinning plates, six glasses and three mugs, a ironboard with iron, and a table with two chairs. The little things I took right away with me, but the other stuff will be delivered in September.  

A small balcony

I haven't had time for a deserved nap, but alright, the third appointment was with Paula. I informed her about my first and second appointment from this morning, she was happy how it went. Paula looked trough the papers what I have been giving from the housing corporation and saw there was something missing, I still needed some off the numbers from the gasmeter but the ones I needed were missing on the paper. It was the gas and the water what was missing, I need them to ask for a electric utility (Hope I said it right) I need 'Electrabel for energy, and 'Vitens,' for water. both are companies for electric utility. I will have to call the housing corporation tomorrow between 8:00 and 9:00 and ask for the gas and water numbers, (Or is it volume... Horrible explaining, lol) If I have those numbers then I can sign up for a contract with Vitens and Electrabel. Pfffeeww! 

The bathroom and shower.

After all the excitment from signing the contract and getting the keys the worries started a bit, I need money as soon as possible! Even Paula was worried, she called a few times to the company asking where my money is, but they didn't know. They said, call back in the morning. Me and Mellisa (another staff member) will call tomorrow and hopefullywe  will get things started. The first of September I need to get out of the house otherwise I will have to pay double rent, and that will be impossible. Before next Thursday I will have to have the money where I asked for, then I can lay laminate and buy other stuff I need to get me started, for example a matras.It worries me, I need money for not only this week but aswell for the next month. 

The storage room, nice and big.

I will get aswell have to get used to living on my own again, I mean getting used of the paperwork, the bills, my ussurances,do I have to fill this in or fill that in, take care of this, take care of that. Living on my own and taking care of myself like making food and on time to bed is easy, but I have to take care of my paperwork aswell. I think it's time to make another list, a paperwork list, for example who do I have to pay for my water or my energy? Or where comes my intyernet from? Or how much money do I have to pay for my rent? All these things I should write down, only to get used to these things and learn from it. Aswell I have to get things in order for this week, I already have someone who's gonna come with me to pick up the laminate and other stuff, but how we gonna do that? That someone has a real small car. 

I like the big window between the hallway and the kitchen.

Guess it's gonna be a busy week.... It's all gonna be good, I'm sure. I'm ready!

Oh sleep, sweet sleep."

"Oh sleep, sweet sleep."

I think the nerves are getting a bit on me, I'm feeling tired and have a hearting stomach sometimes . Weird though, cause I have the feeling I don't have nerves, I mean I'm not really worried. Things are going well, maybe there are some invisible worries what I'm not aware off. (uhm) Although I wish I had the moving behind me, I guess two more weeks from now. I have taken three naps today cause I felt tired, and I slept quit long. Everytime I woke up I had that weird feeling in my stomach, they felt like cramps. Maybe I have eaten something weird or it's the nerves, or a bit of both.

I know from myself that when I'm worried I don't show it, I mean you can't see it. I'm not shaking my hands or have big eyes or I feel hyper. But inside I feel sometimes the pain, pain on my chest, or extreme tired. But anyway, on with this day. I didn't do much today, mostly resting and looking on the internet for cheap second hand stuff. I messaged some people who had gas stoves or fridges, some responded back but there's no confirming yet. Aswell today I decided to sign up for a internet-connection in my new house, I think they call it providers? I found a nice cheap one, the first 12 month I will pay 18 Euro in the month and after that I will pay 25 Euro in the month, sounds good to me. 

Within five weeks from now I will have internet on my new adress, I will get a (internet) package with a modem, what I have to install myself, (eek!) I will see how that goes. I can't do without internet, in these five weeks without internet, (I guess the first two weeks I will still be at Humanitas, using the internet) I will have to go to the libary if I want to use the internet. It's free there and they have a bunch a computers there, I think twelve atleast. I'm not worried, but only  a bit, (lol) Such a strange weather today, first there was a nice and cold breeze in the morning. The residents complained already cause the weatherforecast forspelled 30 degrees, but it was way to cold for 30 degrees. I was cold aswell, later on they forspelled a thunderstorm and it became warmer and warmer. 


I changed many times my clothes, shorts on, shorts off. While I'm writing the weather is grey and it looks again like a thunderstorm. By the way, speaking about writing, I'm writing on my new laptop, finally! I hear in the background) My old laptop started to become really annoying! It crashed over and over, not fun while I was writing a post. This new laptop is a relief, but I'm not gonna throw the old laptop out though, maybe I will need it again. I surely have no regrets buying this new laptop, I bought it 2 weeks before I got the news that I had a new house. If I would had already the news of the new house I wouldn't have bought the new pc, I'm  actually happy I bought it before the 'good news.' 


Tomorrow a long day ahead, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the loan.

"Sjon-shine!"

"Sjon-shine!"

It was a nice warm day with lots of sunshine, it felt nice, more of such days please. I still got one week of vacation left, I like it though, I can use this comming week  for my moving to the new house. The loan I asked for last Monday still didn't come, sigh, perhaps Monday it will. This morning early I had a appointment with Paula, I had two hours to spent with her, so we took our time. Things aren't going as planned but I'm less worried, I know what to do, and that takes the worries of me. Paula and Ilooked on the computer at the second hand selling site 'Marketplace,'we looked for a gasstove and (maybe) a fridge.

I informed Paula aswell what I already have, the two sitter will be delivered this Tuesday, aswell the washingmachine. I saw also a nice fridge on Marketplace, I messaged the seller if they can deliver it for an extra 20 Euro, the fridge is 100 Euro. They messaged me back and they told me the could deliver it, but, this morning I saw another nice fridge aswell. It was not the size I was looking for but I can change my mind. I was looking for a table-model fridge so I can put a little gas stove on top off the fridge for cooking, just like a gas stove what you can pick up just like that. This second fridge I saw was taller, and much cheaper. (35 Euro) I saw aswell a gas stove and it was for free, (woot!) but there was no picture from the stove though, so I couldn't see what the stove looked like.

Paula told that I should visit the  seller and have a look, and message aswell the seller from that fridge. With 35 Euro I could be done, a gas stove with oven and a nice huge fridge for 35 Euro! I tried to call them but the seller had the phone on voice mail the whole the time, I messaged them with a e-mail and aswell the other seller from that fridge. I will have to wait for an answer. It will be a full week this comming week, specialy on Monday, I have three appointments in my agenda. First at 10:00 I will pick up the keys for the new house, I can get right away used to the new keys then. Someone from Humanitas will come with me, hopefully I will have my loan money also then so I can buy the stuff I need. They told me that 'bought' laminate has to breath for 24 hours, I will see.

Next at 2:00 pm I have a appointment (again) with the 'furniture project,' I have been there before, but I couldn't choose then. The furniture project is a project where people with less money can pick up used furniture for free, but not everyone can do this though. You have to proof that your gonna live on yourself or have a new house, Humanitas is a good proof. I will have a look again and see what I need or take with me there, I sure will make a list. Next appoint is with Paula again at 3:30, I will inform her how the above appointments went, and then we will see what all still has to be done. Some people need my new adress, like the Doctor and Dentist and my ussurance company, and a few more. I will have to take care aswell for the electricity, gas and water this Monday, Paula and I will do that together. 

That was the Monday, I'm sure I will have more busy days this week, I already started with packing. Just the clothing and things I don't really need. The moving will be easy cause I don't have much here in my room. The nerves and worries I had are a bit less now, like I said I know what to do now. I'm most worried about 'the loan and the floor in the house, it will be a relief if the 'laminate' floor has been layed. Some residents have mixed feelings when someone has a new house, some are happy for you and some are jealous but there not really showing it. I know a resident who has been searching and searching for so long, still he hasn't  got anything. I guess luck plays a game here aswell, right?

Where is the Summer?

Where is the Summer?

My vacation is almost over, only next week still and then it's back to work. Back to the wood and the furniture, I will be living in my new house then I think. The 28th of August I have to start working again, I'm looking forward to it. The Vacation was so, so, oh wait, no! It was awesome! Cause I found a new house! And I went a day out to Amsterdam, that was nice. But the weather was typical Dutch, nice and warm during working and bad weather with the
vacation. Still no sign of my expected loan, I'm still waiting. I was a early bird this morning, I decided to go early to the hospital for my bloodwork. Around 8:00 I took of on my bike, the weather was grey but not cold at all. At the hospital a few people were before me for the bloodwork, I was done in 20 minutes, nice. Now I have to wait five working days for the results, my Doctor is already back from his vacation,so, that's good.

When I got back I was right on time for the coffee break, though there was tea aswell, I took tea this time. I was tired and took a well deserved nap. Some of the residents have a plan for tomorrow to start a barbecue, we will have to pay each five Euro. That's fair enough, but it depends on the weather if the barbecue is going trough, wewill see. I made a list what things I still need for my house and what I already have, and has been taking care of. The good news is that the couch (a two-sitter) is going trough, next Tuesday they will bring me the couch at the new house. Aswell a second hand washing machine, I asked the seller to bring it, and that was okay with him. A washing machine for 120 Euro isn't that bad, what can I ask more for? I know where I buy my laminate and I know where I buy my matras and maybe a bed. Ikea!! 

The most worried I am is about the floor, if the floor is done I will feel relieved. I guess it will go fine, I need help that's for sure, I never layed laminate before.  Tomorrow another appointment with Paula, she wants to visit a outlet store what sells furniture and some other stuff, like vacuum cleaners and toasters, etc, etc. I don't need anything there though but having a look doesn't do harm. I saw a nice bed there though last week, but after I visited Ikea I changed my mind. Yesterday the Boss from Humanitas Almelo informed me that he had some pictures for me, 2 months ago a photographer came to Reha to take some pictures for the local newspaper. I always wondered where the pictures were after taking them, the Boss suprised me with them.....

Here they are... 

Me and another worker sawing a piece of wood.

Measuring and thinking, this is what we man do!

Some of the 'Reha' team! 

The famous butler-tray!

Done!

"For I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love."

"For I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love."

Still a bit worried about my loan what I should be having now, but I haven't, sigh!. I asked for that loan last Monday and they told me I will be getting it in a few days. Paula told me not to worry, you will get it in a few days. Thinking of it makes me angry, but okay I will wait a few days then. This morning I had a appointment with Paula, we planned to go out to visit a few second hand stores in the city, there sell only second hand fridges, stove's and washing machines. It's a small store with a few items only, when we arrived I told the seller my story and what I needed, (for a low budget) The seller told me that he hadn't much items at this moment, he told aswell that I won't find a washing machine for under 100 Euro's here, they were atleast 240 Euro each." He had a nice fridge though, it was a table model, a wide one.

On the left side there was the freezer section with four drawers, and on the right side the cooler section. "For 150 Euro I will clean the whole fridge and then it's yours," the seller told me, he  could deliver the fridge aswell. It sounded good to me but Paula was carefull, "We will wait, and make a decision later in the afternoon, we will call you," said Paula. It was fair enough with me. Paula was carefull with my money, I understood that, cause I still have to pay my first rent aswell this upcomming Monday with picking up the key. I have to be carefull with my money not only for 'that', next month there will be another rent aswell plus the ussual assurances, and perhaps other stuff. So I can't buy everything just like that. I will have to start low with only the things I REALLY need, for example I can do without a washing machine for a few weeks, or without a dinning table. The house doesn't have to be full yet.

The floor is the most important, and aswell a bed and a fridge, and the other stuff can wait for a week or perhaps a few weeks or even a month. I'm handy with such things, its a  must. Paula and I went to the next second hand store, the store was bigger and had more items. But the second hand stuff they had were less, the only thing the store had was a little stove for 100 Euro's. I don't know, I had doubts about the price. Paula said again, "We will keep the stove in mind." Being carefull, taking my time and counting the money I have or what I can spend. We knew enough and went back to Humanitas, there we took a coffee and Paula wrote the items down we saw with the prices. I asked Paula what to do next, I told her that my plan was to visit Ikea this evening. "What can I spend?" I asked her, I won't buy anything expencive cause 'the loan' hasn't arrived yet.

"Just keep in mind what you have to pay this comming Monday, that's enough," replied Paula. I knew enough and went back to my room. (Nr.15) I took my luch and afterwards a nap, it was needed. I took it easy the rest of the afternoon, I visited some selling sites, and answered some emails. I responded on a second hand washing machine for only 120 Euro, I asked them again for delivering the washing machine, cause I don't have a car. I will wait for an answer. I got aswell an answer back from the people from the 'couch,' they were okay with paying after the delivery BUT they want already the 'deliver' money. (20 Euro gas money) It was fair enough with me, I told them I will pay them this comming Saturday. Then I will have the next appointment with Paula aswell.

IKEA your amazing!!!

Ikea was awesome! WOW! What a store! At 6:45pm me and another resident (with a car) drove to Ikea, (only a 20 minutes drive) I haven't been at Ikea for almost four years almost, I was pretty excited you could say. I saw many things I liked, and wrote some of the furniture or other item prices down, I can tell that I know now already what my house will look like in the following years, Ikea style! So much nice stuff and some items were really cheap, ofcource I bought a few things. A lamp for on the ceiling, (so cheap) a bigger cooking pan, (what I really needed) two pillows, (only 50ct each!) I was actually looking for a bed and laminate though, but these small things were to cheap to let them stay. A nice guy helped me with the bed and the matras, I told him that I was about to move and that I needed a bed or only a good matras, I told him aswell that I had a very low budget. I did a matras test and it was amazing, we found a few matrasses for a low price what suited me and I knew enough, the Ikea matrass is in the pocket!

My idea is to buy a good perfect matrass and perhaps a nice bed frame later in the month. I saw aswell a nice couch wich I can fold into a bed, that's a really nice idea aswell. I couldn't even see that the couch could be folded, it was a nice couch for a nice price. I arrived at the laminate section and looked around for a nice color, again nice prices for a nice wooden floor, nice colours aswell. I called a guy and a girl who helped me with the prices, I had a 'floor pan with me from my new house so they could measure it how much laminate I need. They puzzled and they measured and it took a while till they were done, the guy and the girl wrote down the total square meters and the prices of the total laminate plus under floor. It was almost closing time for Ikea, me and the other recident decided to pay our stuff and go home.

I had a nice evening at Ikea, I have been good informed and was happy with the prices. Tomorrow I will try to make a end list, all the stuff I really need I will write down again plus  the prices, sum that all up and see what it all costs. I hope I will get my loan before Monday, that would be handy.

"I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike."

"I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike." 

A slow start this morning, although I had alot to do today. I took it easy this morning, I Googled on my favorite second hand Dutch selling site "Marktplaats," marketplace in English. I was searching for second hand couces, friddges, washingmachines and stove's, I saw many couches for sale, but on many couches you had to name a price, make an offer, I'm not good in offering. aswell I have to ask the sellers if it's possible to bring the couch next week, cause I don't have a car, neither do I know one with a decent car. I asked  a seller today to bring me a couch I saw on 'Marktplaats,' it's a very nice two sitter for only 50 Euro. I asked him if he could bring me the couch on the 23th of August on my new adress, I will pay for the couch then 70 Euro. I had a email back telling me that they will bring the couch for a total price of 75 Euro, if I make the money over to this bank number. They wrote there banknumber in the email. 

I waited and thought to myself, "If I make the money over, it might be that they don't even bring the couch or worser I don't even get the couch."  I emailed them back saying that I will think about it, and will let them know tomorrow afternoon, I have a appointment with Paula tomorrow and I will show her the email. It would be easier to pay the couch sellers by the delivery, right? It was time to get started with my full day, first I took my lunch and afterwards I went. First I had to mail a letter, it had to do with with my income, sigh! The mail will solve my little income problem. Second I went to my Doctor to ask if I can have a paper to do bloodwork for my thyroid, it has been three weeks already after I did my first bloodwork. Upcomming Friday I will get the needle at the Hospital. I was happy the Doctor was there, cause it could have been he was still on vacation, but he was back.

After the Doctor visit the trip went further, I wanted to visit my Dad, on the bike cause the weather was good and I would like to save money, so no train but bicycle. I had the wind against me, read, not in the back but in the front. But it went okay, I was half way and I even thought of 'why not go to my Aunt and Uncle aswell'? I thought I knew a shorther cut but failed big time, sweating and out of breath I ended up at my Aunt and Uncle. It's been a while since I saw them, they helped me alot while being in Canada and comming back from Canada to Holland. My Aunt opened the door and stared for 5 seconds and said, "Hey! It's the lost Son! Come on in! I noticed first that my Aunt and Uncle are getting older, I noticed the looks, there getting pale and thin. We talked alot about my new house and ofcource my Dad, "Dad is getting older," said my Uncle.

I knew this already but, my Uncle said that he's really getting older. Has difficculties with walking and moving,and if he tries to walk he can't walk straight. If he's sitting he has it difficult to get up again, he tries and tries many times, after trying 8 or 10 times he succeeds. Dad is getting difficult aswell in his behaviour, he's becomming rough and violent sometimes in his words. I know my Dad, he has a really good and small heart, in his youth he was rough aswell but with a very small heart. My Dad is the type of guy that would cry with a episode of Ophra Winfrey. My aunt talked further about my new house,she told me tobe carefull with my money. "It doesn't have to be all new and you don't have to buy everything, just start low with less furniture or other items,and then perhaps in a month you can buy more," my Aunt told me. She is right. 

If I have a look in my room now I see a desk and chair and a bed plus closet, and with that I took care of myself for more then 6 months, so why not then when I have the new living? It was time to move on to my Dad, another long bike ride. I felt a bit exhausted but felt further okay. When I arrived at my Dad's place he was sitting outside as expected, I had two reasons why I wanted to visit my Dad today, congrate him with his 73th Birthday and (sigh!) asking him for a sum of money, wich I hate to ask but I really have to cause I'm helpless. I congrated him and he was happy to see me, and yes, he was looking older then I thought. I tried to talk to him about my new house, but it took him almost 20 minutes to get it all trough him. After our talk I wanted to ask him about the sum of money, but I decided not to, cause it was difficult to talk to Dad. I'm glad I made that decision, I would like to solve my problems all by myself. So,I can say in the end, I suffered but I crawled up and managed all of this all by myself. 


I stayed at my Dad's for 45 minutes then I wanted to go, it was already late. I still need to buy some groceries aswell for my dinner tonight, it was time to go. This time I had the wind in the back (Yay!) Though the long bike ride made me tired, I bought when I got back my groceries, chicken tonight is on the menu! I made two portions when I started to made my dinner, one for now and one for tomorrow, handy. In the evening after my dinner I mentioned the idea to go for a walk after dinner while I had my dinner with a few other residents,they were okay with that. But I was tired though, but I went anyways, it was a nice out. While walking I started to think of the comming days and next week, I worries me that I still don't have any news about my loan. No loan means I can't buy anything yet, and tomorrow I planned to go to Ikea with some other residents, planning to buy or order some things aswell. Sigh! 


I could wait till Friday or perhaps Saturday, but rather not. Humanitas wants me out of the building at the 1st of Sepetember, cause otherwise I would have to pay double rent, and I can't afford that. I still have a week and a half. Tomorrow the appointment with Paula, were going to visit a second hand store, they sell only fridges,washingmachines and stove's, with the appointment we will have a talk aswell. Paula works better under stress she told me, so I should not be worried. Bring it on!

"Making a list and checking it twice."

"Making a list and checking it twice." 

Decisions, decisions, I'm almost done with my 'things I need' list, if it was up to me I would already buy some off the  stuff or order them. I know already what to buy at Ikea, it will be at bed, laminate and perhaps some other things. But the bed and the laminate is the main thing at Ikea. The plan is to go on Thursday, and silly I am I was thinking it was already Wednesday today. I mentioned it aswell on Facebook, oh well.

It's been a calming day, I thought everyone is calm around my moving, (the staff from Humanitas) so, then why not me? I have alot of things in my head what I would already like to do, (working and planning ahead) but the staff members are telling me to wait, they always want that I wait. I'm calm though, it's just I like something to do while I'm getting a new house. I saw a lovely couch for such a nice price, but I have to wait. Yep, I tried some couches today, and they all seemed so hard to sit on, or is it the fact that I forgot how a couch sits. 

I don't have a couch in my room, and here at Humanitas there ain't couches either, only a few comfort desk chairs. I would like my furniture to be good and not half good, but aswell for a nice price. Some furniture I don't mind but a bed and a couch must be comfy and suitable. It's gotta be cheap, but comfy. Today I totally forgot my appointment with Paula, I was cooking and while I was cooking my delicious dinner a resident came up to me and informed me about the appointment. Strange though cause I asked yesterday the secetary when I had a next appointment with Paula, and she told me Thursday. 

I stopped my cooking for a while and went to her, she told me that I could finnish my dinner first and then afterwards we can have a 30 minute talk, cause her next appointment was at seven. It was already late, so. I finnished my dinner and went to my appointment, I informed her what I have been doing the last few days and told her the latest news. Paula was worried about my 'list,' it was all to expensive. It made me worried aswell, I told her that I  have been really busy with searching for the cheapest of the cheapest stuff. Together we searched for cheaper stuff and second hand stores, we found one second hand store what we will visit together upcomming Thursday. 

Paula told me aswell to buy just a matras to sleep on, just for the very first month. She was worried I won't come around with my money. I told her that is an idea but things like a second hand washing machine or a oven is in my eyes not a good option to buy, if I would buy a second hand washing machine and it will break in a month or sooner, then I would have to buy a new one again. Then it's better to buy a cheap 'new' one, rigth? I understand Paula's worries but I'm really carefull if it comes to buying things, specially now! I wont walk in a store and just buy, buy and buy, oh no. I'm already a bit worried about ordering or buying the things I need, "Do I really need it?" I think then.

I will search further these comming days, and Thursday visiting Ikea. I will have a list ready then. Paula wasn't to worried though, she told me we can start actually next week when I got the keys, then I have to get busy. The first week of September Paula wants me to get out of Humanitas, cause otherwise I will have to pay double rent. Tomorrow I'm planning to visit my Dad, last Sunday was his birthday but I didn't visit him then. I had my reasons for that, all Uncles and Aunts would have been there and would have been asking about Canada, and why this and why that. I know I should have go and should have stand up for myself, but I wasn't ready for them. 


They wouldn't have stop talking about the item 'Canada,' and even though they wouldn't have talked about it, they still would have give me the 'eye.' So yeah, better and good that I didn't went, I know my family. My Dad knows already that I have a new house, he will be excited to see me.

"I will continue my path, but I will keep a memory always."

"I will continue my path, but I will keep a memory always."

Again the same waking up as ussual, nerves and nerves. This morning I was nerves about the loan I have to ask for this morning, sometimes I ask myself why I have these nerves. I should not worry, it goes as it goes, right? This morning I went with Nicole to the cityhall for the asking for my loan, (Nicole is another staff member from Humanitas, Paula had a long weekend off) I had everything what I needed with me, and there we went. It was a ten minutes walking distance, and while walking Nicole and I talked about my plans these comming months. I told her that I would like to have people around me, just like I had in Canada and Humanitas. "You should join a sport or start a hobby, there are lots of oppertunities in this city," said Nicole. "I know," I told her, "Once I'm settled in my house I will start with something."

I see this aswell as a new start, a new living, a new city, new people, everything is new, I kinda like that. We were good on time for our appointment, eleven am correct. A woman named Elize guided us to her office and asked us to sit down, I handed in the papers and other stuff she needed. Elize asked a few questions about the house, and about the list what I made. (The list off  stuff what I need for the house) "That's quit alot," she told me. "I have totally nothing, and I can't help it," I replied. As the conversation continued I had a good feeling about the loan, let's say 75% is in the pocket. Elize made alot of copies, and she told us that these papers will be send to the citybank jury, then it's a yes or a no. I will hear from them in a couple of days by mail. I'll keepmy fingers crossed. I'm 80% sure I will get the loan.

If/when the loan goes trough I will get a extra sum of money on top of the loan for 'opknapkosten' (Dutch) refurbishment costs (English) It's extra money if I need to fix the walls or paint or whatever to fix the house. Nicole asked for this, Nicole knows such things, handy right? I don't know much about these 'free' things, some off them I know but I guess alot has changed in Holland when I was over seas. After the appointment Nicole and I went back to Humanitas to do one more thing, taking care off 'housing benefit.' That's a allowance for people who pay to much rent in relation to there income, and I am one off them. Nicole and I took care of the allowance online, she needed information and I looked trough my papers for that information. She filled everything in online and we were done in fifteen minutes.

I saw right away the sum of money I will be getting extra, and I was happy with it. Extra's are always nice. As the day went on I felt a bit better, I hope the nerves will not get to me to much though, my stomach hurted bad this morning. I hope everyday I will come a bit further with the moving, it relaxes me. Let me put some things in order, the things I already had done and the things what still need to be done. The loan has been asked for, I will hear from it the following days, the keys I can pick up the 22th of August, aswell I have to pay for my first rent money then. Buy the furniture, carpet, fridge, etc, etc, I will do that maybe this week or next week. I will have to make a few lists, cause I saw already a few cheap shops where I can but my stuff. Ikea is one of them. I must not rush things cause Paula will help me with handy things. 


Like, she knows about things what I don't know off, she might can get things for free, while I pay for them instead. I can ask anything when I have a problem downstairs at the Humanitas staff, that's good to know. But aswell I want to try to do as much as possible myself, I want to learn these things again. I noticed that I'm a person who would like to have things in order, thinking ahead, or working ahead. And that's not really possible right now, that can be annoying sometimes. This comming Thursday I will be going to Ikea with two other residents, I will have to make a list what I all need from Ikea. If I'm satisfied with what I want I will order it right away. I'm not worried, everyday I will come a bit further knowing what to do and what not to do. *Insert smile.*

"Getting there."

"Getting there."

This Sunday started of with alot of rain, but later on it went dryer. I don't mind rain on Sunday's though, there's not much to do on Sunday's anyways. I woke up this morning with the same unussual feeling I recently have, worried and nervous. As then the day goes further I feel a bit better. This morning I had a appointment with Sandra my second counselor, Paula had the weekend of. Sandra and I are usually searching for houses online, but this time it wasn't necceccary, I have a house. I explained her my worried feelings and thoughts, and she calmed me with saying that I don't have to be worried. "We are professionals, we know what to do," Sandra told me. I would like to know already if I get the loan, or when to start with ordering internet? or when to start buying things? It's all thinking ahead and that's not good, Sandra told me aswell that I have a good helper beside me 'Paula.'

"Paula and you will make a good team, she and we at Humanitas won't let you down," said Sandra. I kinda knew this already that Humanitas won't let me down, but I guess it's normal aswell to have nerves and worries before a moving. Humanitas will help me these following weeks with moving and arranging everything, even when I already live there for a few weeks, Paula will visit me once or twice a week to help me around when it's needed. I will try to do most of myself cause I know I can do such things, I done it many times before. But this time it just feels different and akward, I don't know why. Doing things myself will do me good aswell, I will try it and if I don't succeed, I will try it again. In the end if I still don't succeed I will ask for help. I don't like half work, I don't like problem afterwards, I want it to be good.

Today I have been searching for cheap furniture and cheap electronic stuff online, I had alot of tips the last days from staff members and residents. I found out that Ikea is a must, they have so much differences with the prices then other cheap shops. I found myself already a bed online, oh yeah. This week I will go to Ikea with another resident to have a peek at the bed and perhaps other stuff I need. Aswell I found a few second hand shops where I can go to, and outlet stores. Kinda fun though to search online for the cheaper stuff, and compare prices. I think I found me a internet-provider aswell, Tellfort is a good one and it's cheaper then other providers. Only I'm asking myself when do I buy or order the package, (The package includes, TV, internet and phone) Decision this week!

Tomorrow I will go asking for my loan what I need so badly, papers has been filled in, I got everything ready what I need with me, I'm ready! I'll keep my fingers crossed! Today I went out for a little while with some residents, there was a flea market near at the German border. Nice when your only 30 minutes driving from that border, it was a nice out and I enjoyed it. They had aswell a huge supermarket, everything for cheap. But I didn't need anything, besides that it was way to busy and there was just way to much stuff to choose from. But again it was a nice out, I feel okay now and everyday I will feel better and better. It's like I have a puzzle in my head and I would like to have that puzzle solved, but I have to have patience. Everyday I solve a little piece of the puzzle, day by day a bit. This solving calms me.


I'm starting to get excited! It's all good and it's gonna be all fine! I informed Saf aswell about my new living, she gave me a nice email back with congrats, and she gave me some tips. Nice of her, and this is how I like it between us, good friends in the end! Bless her!

"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much."

"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much."

I can finally admit that I dislike being alone, suprising that I was alone for so many years and I was just good with it. Guess I didn't know else. I can do two things now, I can go back to the past and adjust again to be alone again, (But I think that's to late) Or keep continue with searching for company, communication, in other words join a club or a sport, go out! Easier said then done though, cause it's better to not feel to forced to search for such things, like I HAVE to go out or I HAVE to be with people or friends. Everything in time!  But that I need people or friends around me that's for sure. Maybe it has to do with the place I lived for seven months, here at Humanitas I had always people around me. But not only Humanitas, think about the time I spent in Canada, there aswell I had lots of friends around me, 24 hours a day. I loved it!

The street where I'm going to live.

All that did me good, but for sure I had to get used to 'that.' Now I'm glad I took the change, still I miss a bit that kick in the butt what I need. A kick in the butt for moving on, continue what I do, find a decent job, have friends or better have Family around me, live, etc, etc. I think that explains the akward and sad feeling I have lately since I got to hear that I have a new house, afraid of leaving Humanitas, afraid of leaving the people around me, afraid of being alone again. I'ts a positive thing though, right? But didn't I leave Canada with 'that' same akward feeling? Everything went in a rush back then, I had so many things on my head, that my head almost exploded. The break up, arranging a flight, arranging money for the flight, being still there felt akward, arranging a sleeping place in Holland, my mind was elsewhere back then.

When I got back in Holland the tears began, missing the kids and Saf was painfull. Being alone again was painfull. At Humanitas I had people around me again, by far not the same people like Saf, the kids and the friends I had in Canada, but I wasn't alone, and that felt good. Amazing that I had so many people around me and I didn't freak out, LOL! But now this feeling, that akward feeling of not looking forward to becomming alone again, I'ts all in my hands and it's all up to me. It will be a hard job to get people around me again, but I'm going for it. I'm not gonna sit on my  *ss! I know now already that I will try to keep contact with a few residents from Humanitas, just a few. These residents did alot for me, and always had been there for me, Henki, Mark, Margaret, Chaterine, harrie, Daniel. I will see how it goes. 

This is the house!  Top balcony!

It's been a quiet day, I took my rest cause there wasn't much to do. For the moving on the 22th of August I made a list what I all need. Furniture and stuff, and I know I can arrange alot of stuff trough the internet. But how? With some stuff I could use some help, like arranging internet/cabel/phone and electricity,water and gas. I need to take care of the 'adress changes', I have to call and E-mail lots of people that I have a new adress. I took aswell a look at my new house, (took some pictures) strange though to see it, when I drove by. I thought, "This is the place where I'm going to live for a long time," akward feelings again. The unknown feeling perhaps. I had many thoughts when I saw the new house, I have to admit I felt a bit anger aswell. 


Anger because of the thoughts of Canada, anger towards Saf but aswell myself. I still hear sometimes in my head what Saf told me when we broke up, "It's better for you to go home." She was upset, and I was upset with myself and her, I don't blame Saf anything, but sometimes the thoughts of that last month (December) comes back, specially now when I got me a new house. "How on earth did it come so far, that I have to live here?" Negative thoughts, I know, it's aswell a 'looking ahead' thought. For the same reason I will have a ' awesome' time. Having a break isn't a pleasant thing, both sides are upset and do the meanest things. Or they both try to solve it but it doesn't work out, I'm so happy that Saf and I are atleast friends. That really does me good, that we can talk to each other and wish each other the best.

To my suprise I saw this huge shop in the neighborhood where I'm going to live...

"Finding the rest, and putting things in order."

"Finding the rest, and putting things in order."

It's been a hectic day with some nerves in the beginning, but once I got started it went alright. I felt better then yesterday, still a bit those nerves though, I guess they will stay till I have everything settled. First thing I had this morning was a appointment with the citybank, the citybank is a bank for people who have guilts and they offer loans aswell. I had to be there at 9:00 am, early bird I was, I was way to early. I had to wait outside for twenty minutes, the weather was good, dry and not cold, so, all good. At 9:00 the door opened and I walked in, the lady at the desk asked me friendly where she could help me with. I told her that I had a appointment with a lady called 'Mrs Koning,' the lady replied that she didn't know of any appointments with Mrs koning. I told her that a lady from Humanitas made the appointment trough the phone. She told me to wait in the waiting room, "Mrs Koning will be right with you." Okay!

An old short lady (Mrs Koning) said, "Hi," and asked me to come with her. We sat down and I was expecting that I came for 'asking for a loan,' but that was a missunderstanding. Mrs Koning filled right away a paper in for a rejection for a loan, I thought, "What is that? No loan?" That was right, Mrs Koning explained it to me. The citybank rejected my 'asking for a loan,' cause I didn't had enough repayment capacity, Paula and Mrs Koning already discussed this trough the phone yesterday. That's why the no loan, but the rejection paper I can take with me as a proof, upcomming Monday I will have to ask for a loan at the Municipality. I already have a appointment made, the rejected paper I will have to take with me and other papers for proof. I really need a loan, otherwise I can't pay my first rent and the stuff I need for my house. 

When I left the citybank my head was full off thoughts, I guess it still had to do with the rejected loan paper. How did I know that the loan was rejected, I just thought I came for a loan. It was still early and at 10:30 I had my next appointment, 'the furniture project,' but first a coffee. I still was on time for the coffee break, I took two coffee's. Around 10:15 I left for my next appointment, a bit late but okay, I still had to find the place where I had to be. I thought, I found the citybank this morning just like that so this I will find too. But after searching and searching for almost an hour, I gave up. I couldn't find it, I even went in many stores and asked but, nothing. I was looking for a huge garage (it's like a garage sale, but then bigger) I knew where to go but, when I  arrived at the place where to look, I  just couldn't found it. 

I went back to Humanitas and it started to rain hard, I decided to ride first to the pharmacy for my repeat prescription. (thyroid) The pharmacy gave me for another two weeks off  medication, I will have to do some bloodwork upcomming week to see how it's going with my thyroid. It started raining harder, sigh! I was soked but I was at Humanitas and could put on dry clothes, time for some rest. I still wanted to go to the secetary downstairs to tell her that I couldn't find the 'furniture project' place, but she was busy. I  will go a bit later I thought, she will have to call for another appointment, hope I can find it then. After I  putted dry clothes on the secetary called me on my cellphone, she asked me why I  didn't go to my appointment. I explained her that I couldn't find the place where I had to go, the secetary told me that I still was on time for the appointment, and she explained me where to go and she told the number of the garage. 


There I went again, it was dry and that was a good thing. But I was half way and then it rained again, and harder then before. Oh well, I thought getting mad won't make the rain stop. I arrived at the place, and thought to myself, "Hey, I just drove by this place, but was thinking, this really can't be it."  There was a woman standing outside waiting for me and she guided me in, it was a huge garage full with second hand furniture. I introduced myself and told the lady that it was my first time here. The lady explained me how this furniture project worked, "If you see a piece of furniture what you like, I will put a sticker on it with the saying "reserved' and then it's yours, for free."  I looked around and saw some nice furniture but it was already reserved. The other furniture looked old and not so nice, but I thought, "Hey, it's free! Pick something!" 

I choosed a nice wooden table with two chairs, nice for in my sleeping room. And further, well, nothing, I saw a nice round dinning table but in my eyes it was to big, and a nice closet, but had doubts, so I letted it be. The lady putted the stickers ' reserved' on the choosen furniture and she told me that if it's time to move, I can pick them up anytime, I thanked her and went back.  The rain came poring down again and I  got soked again for the second time, I didn't mind though. I  haven't got anything planned further today, only rest! It's been a long morning, I made some lunch and afterwards I  took a well deserved nap, I was exhausted. still I want to make a list of the things I need and what still to do, putting things in order. What to do first and then second, and what can I  do in between, otherwise I might forget something and it's a good solution to empty my head. 


I still have a bit that akward feeling of the moving, I almost can't describe it. I know for sure that it will be different, I can say to myself, "Hey finally some time for myself," but I will miss aswell the people around me. Being to long at Humanitas does that to you, I will have to get used to that again. I'm glad I have a week and a few days for picking up the keys, so I can get used to the idea of leaving Humanitas. It will all be good, I'm a little bit worried but I guess that's normal. 

So much to do so less time, but I found me a house, Yay! (Long post)

So much to do so less time, but I found me a house, Yay!

I don't even know where to start, it's been such a hectic,exhausting day. My Mom always said, "If you don't know where to start, start at the beginning!"  So, here we go, I got me a house!!! This morning with the coffee break another resident had a an offer for a house, I thought, "Why always another and never me?" It's time for me to get an offer aswell, I have been here already such a long time. After the coffee break I went to the mailboxes to look if I had mail, and there was mail, and one of the envelopes was from the housing corporation. Eeek! I wasn't expecting they had a offer for me to vieuw a house, cause I have been there a few days ago, and then they told me, "No house yet." I opened the mail and it said, "You have been invited to vieuw a house today, you can pick up the keys anytime today for a look." The mail showed the name of the street and the house number.

It was an akward feeling reading it, I didn't jump of my chair singing and dancing from excitment. I was asking myself if I was ready to move, leaving Humanitas and the residents. I actually wanted to cancel it for a few seconds, yeah a akward feeling. I went downstairs cause I knew that Paula was there, and I told her the news. She was excited and congrated me, the news didn't get trough me in the beginning but now it slowly did. I had to get to work with this news, I will pick up the key and then come back to Humanitas. Paula was comming with me to have a vieuw at the house she offered. Still I wasn't full of excitment, (that came later) I was nervous. I did what I had to do, and that was it, I picked up the key and came back. Paula was ready to go, she dragged me trough this all. I like that about her, go on and move!

Paula and I took our bikes and drove to the street where we had to go, it wasn't that far, prolly about 15 minutes from Humanitas. The neighborhood looked nice and quiet, perfect already. The house/room was on the second floor, underneath me lived a old couple, still perfect. The entrance was almost like Humanitas, first a door with a lock to get in the building and then 'stairs,' second floor, then trough the hallway searching for number 25.  I had so many keys with me, I had to find the key what fitted on the frontdoor. Inside it looked nice and big, I didn't expect that for a flat. The living room and sleeping room looked nice aswell, the kitchen was cute, it was bigger then I use to had. I was afraid to admit (haha!) but it's a nice house, the only thing what was stopping me were my nerves for leaving Humanitas.

The rooms have build in closets, perfect! Only the shower had something weird, between the sink and the central heating was the place to put the washingmachine. Cause the pipe for the ' drain' was next to the central heating. That means limited space to get to the actual shower, but I guess I can live with that. After vieuwing the appartment for twenty minutes Paula asked me if I'm gonna take it. I explained her how I felt, the nerves were stopping me from taking the house, I told her, "If I say no now I will say not to the next offer for a house aswell." Bloody nerves, "I'm gonna take the house, it's a yes!" Paula replied, "Okay, let's get to work," and she went downstairs. That's so Paula, dragging me trough this, go! I told her aswell, that I don't want to rush this now.With the nerves I have, I will have to take it easy if it's possible. I didn't have to worry she told me.

It's been a while since I have been trough a proces of moving, yeah I moved alot  in Canada (two times actually) But Saf did most of the paperwork and phonecalls, I didn't know how that all worked in Canada, I helped where I could help. So I said 'yes' to the house, and I had to bring back the keys. Whem I arrived at the housing corporation, they congrated me and told me that I will recieve a mail from them tomorrow or Saturday.The house was done and the girl behind the desk made a appointment for signing the contact, upcomming Monday I could sign the contract (and pick up the keys, but she didn't tell me this) at 10:00 am. I told her that was okay. When I drove back to Humanitas I was thinking, "Isn't that to soon, signing a contract already this Monday?, Do I have enough money?" I was to tired to think, I just wanted to get back for a short little nap. 

Paula told me when I got back that it was impossible to sign the contract and move in already this comming Monday, "You will get the key, and your rent will  have to be payed then for the first month, cause then will they start with the rent, after you signed the contract," said Paula. Paula tried to call them and I had other things to do, many things! First I had to go to some shops with a list what I all needed for my house, the 'things what I really need first, let's say the important stuff. Carpet, fridge, washingmachine, bed, couch, stove, after I asked what it all costed together I will have to ask if I can get the total price on a paper. (You still there?)  With that paper I can go to the place where I can ask for a loan, (I have two places where I can ask for a loan) with the 'total price' I can ask and show how much loan I need.

Paula went back to work and I went shopping with my 'things I need list,' fun and a bit nervous. First I went to the place where they cell major appliance, I told the buyer what I needed and then asked for a pricelist. The prices were quit okay I must say, not bad. For example the washingmachine was quit cheaper then I thought. I looked for a fridge, a stove and a washingmachine. The one who helped me  made a nice price and wrote it all down on a paper, alright, that was done, on to the next shop. The next shop was a little warehouse, kinda like Ikea but much smaller and cheaper. I looked for a bed, a couch, and carpet, the helper there was very friendly and helped me further. Ofcource with this shop I will get a higher price, cause off what I all need. I decided to put carpet in the sleeping room, vinyl in the kitchen and hallway and laminate in the livingroom. Laminate is expensive but that's what I want.

It took us a while going trough everything, but in the end I had a nice list, quit expensive but okay. I choosed for a normal bed and not for a boxspring what I use to had, boxsprings are expensiver. While looking I also thought about secondhand shops, or perhaps selling sites on the internet. Anyway,I was there now, I will see later what I can do. It was a long day and I wanted still that little nap, I returned with the lists to Paula. Paula has been busy aswell, she took care of the signing of the contract, she cancelled the appointment from upcomming Monday the 15th to the next Monday the 22th. I have now in total 11 days more for taking care of stuff, Paula took care aswell for geting furniture cheaper or for free, and she took care of a loan for me. Tomorrow I will have to go to the citybank asking for a loan, Paula and I made  a appointment at 9:00 am. If I don't get the loan I will have to go to another place asking for a loan. Paula made already the 'next' appointment if I don't get a loan. 

Aswell tomorrow I have a appointment with a ' furniture project' in Almelo, I can get furniture there for cheap or for free. The furniture project is for people who are going to live on there own but have a very low budget. It's not a shop,but you have to make a appointment to have a look around there. Quit excited to have a peek there. A long day tomorrow, but I feel alright. I wrote half of the things I need and have to do down on a piece of paper, to order things a bit so it wont get a mesh in my head. but step by step though, day by day, easy steps. I have a house, can't believe it! Many thoughts running trough my mind, I need to get used to the idea of leaving Humanitas and living on my own again. Things sure will be different that's for sure, step by step and taking it easy. In the next few days I will surely keep things updated and I will look further what I need and will inform people that I have a house.

         
 Dad first ofcource, he will be excited. Dad celebrates his 73 birthday this Sunday, more about that tomorrow, I'm exhausted............... but excited aswell!

A day out...

A day out...

I have been invited with some other residents to visit some other residents who are on vacation, there celebrating there vacation in a place called 'Hellendoorn.'  Hellendoorn is five minutes from my old hometown Nijverdal, the vacation was a gift from a organisation, these 'other' residents are members from that organisation.The 'other' residents are a man and a wife, in other words a couple. The idea was to spend the whole day there, but we didn't make it that long cause of the bad weather. The man and wife were sent to a bungalow park, it's very nice there with lots of small bungalows, but oh so expensive. They vacation was free, and they got 40 Euro extra for grocery, even though that, nothing is free on that park. 

Shoes and slippers in front of the bungalow, I saw this many times before.

I liked it there but way to expensive, it's nice for old people to relax when your retired or have money enough. There was not much to do there for little kids, only the swimming pool (inside) was nice, we swimmed more then two and a half hour. It was a nice day out, something new or different then Humanitas for a change. The couple who invited us were nice too, they live aswell at Humanitas. Being there I could really tell the difference between the people who were with me and let's say the 'normal' people who rented the bungalows on the park. It's the behaviour that's different. Sometimes I turned my head or hided myself a bit,  just not to be embarraced by the behaviour of the residents who were with me. 

One of the bungalows on the park.

There behaviour is kinda rude and hard, there very open aswell, they say things just like that, no shame. I'm not like that, but I get along with them very well. I call the residents sometimes city folks. I had a very slow start of the day though, I thought, "Oh no, I rather go for a nap first before I leave to the bungalow park."  But it was to late already, later on after the 'swimming pool party I felt a bit better. I'm  really curious about my bloodresults over four weeks.  Upcomming Friday I need my second part of my medication for my thyroid, I should get medication for four weeks, but they splitted it up in two weeks. Friday I'm getting another serie medications for the next two weeks. Then bloodwork.

Very low bungalows but oh so nice.

The weather was okay and fine today, but aswell cold and here and there a bit of rain. Way to cold though for the time of the year, we sat outside the bungalow for an hour but went inside again cause it felt too cold after an hour. The swimming pool had a nice tempature, but it went colder after two hours of swimming. We ordered some food when we got back from the pool, we were starving. French fries with  little pieces of sliced onions, mayonaise and peanut sause. This unusual type of meal we call in Holland 'Patatje oorlog,'  (French fries war) what's in a name? Very nice though, I was starving, on top on the patatje oorlog I had a meatball. 

Nice right!

I had a nice day out, upcomming Saturday I'm planning another day out. I would love to go to a huge sauna somewhere in Holland, I know already the place to go, it's near the city Utrecht. Can't wait!

...301 updates later....

...301 updates later....

I cleaned my entire laptop again, I think they call it formating, not sure though. I had so enough of the many re-starts yesterday, I think I re-started it more then 300 times. Not that fun when your trying to write a post, and think of it that I still have a new laptop underneath my bed. (stubborn man, lol!) After formatting the laptop the usual updates were comming, I didn't know though that it needed 301 updates, it took me almost a whole morning. The poor laptop was breathing for air.

I talked this morning with Ina when we had the coffee break, I talked about her Daughter. I told her that she's  rude and not so nice towards me, I'm still waiting for the first nice word towards me since Ina and her Daughter lived here. In the beginning it felt just a bit like teasing, but later on it got annoying. I saw a chance to talk about it when Ina was nice to me while we had the coffee break, she told me that her daughter is just like that, "she's a wolf in sheep clothing," Ina told me. That's a Dutch saying. Ina waved it a bit away, she told me that it will pass, she will get nicer, she needs time. It was fine with me, I knew what to do, ( Ignore' and I'm glad I mentioned it towards Ina. I could see it annoyed her a bit, cause she mentioned it a few times, " It will pass, she will get nicer." 


I can tell it's vacation time, there's not much movement or doing things, like I do when I'm working. I dislike it though sitting and not doing much, I need something to do walking or bike riding. This morning I went for a walk, I ended up at the grocery store, that was my attention to though. I did my grocery, my idea was to make another chicken tonight. It will be my first chicken tonight that I will make all by myself, I decided to make it with a chinese sweet/sour sauce, yum! At 2:00 pm I had a appointment with Paula,  once in three monts she writes a report about her clients. This time it was my turn for my report. The report is about how I was in the past, what I want to achieve or change and how I'm doing now, how far am I with the achieving and changes. 


The report is good and positive, I'm slowly progressing and moving forward. What I also saw is that I slowly fall back into my old pattern, the old pattern how I lived before I went to Canada. I dislike that though, some things are okay but I would like to change that pattern too. Have a job, meet people, communicate, going out, make friends, and a nice woman with hopefully a few kids. I should make a wishlist, lol! I'm glad how I managed so far, and what I achieved so far. I'm amazed! Paula was amazed aswell, she gets along with me very well. She's already nine weeks pregnant, when she will be delevering the baby I wont be living here anymore. Damn! Next appoint with Paula will be Thursday at 10:30 am. 

My first Chicken tonight~ 

I need a bigger pan and a bigger plate, the sauce, chicken and veggies fitted just in the cooking pan. The cooking of the rice went fine, (I'm an expert) I have a cooking clock in my head, I can tell or guess time just like that. I cooked everything and saved aswell some for the next day, it was so easy to prepair. I decided to make this once a week, but different flavours and ingredients though. Finnally something to eat with rice! Loving it!!