"Your doing well, don't worry about it."

"Your doing well, don't worry about it."

Yes I do, I do well. It's going slowly but that's how I like it and wanted it. Today I took it easy, I did my groceries already for the whole week. Did two loads of laundry and cooked, and that was it. Sahayo my new counselor visited me this morning, cause I had a appointment with him today. He's a nice guy, we went trough alot of financial things and managed most of these things. There were still a few small cases that had to be taken care off, with a few phonecalls from Sahayo and me we managed them well. I'm glad that was settled, I should get used to making phonecalls though, I still dislike it. I always prepair myself when I have to make a phonecall, then I know what I must say and if they ask me questions I will have my papers or answers ready, but still 'eeek.' I want to work on that, being less 'eeek' for the phone, lol. Practize, practize and practize. 

I'm getting more and more items and furniture in my house, I should get started with a contents insurance. I already have a company in mind who's not that expencive. I thought about ING, my bank, it's nice to have it all under one roof. It can get a maze if you have a insurance here and another insurance there. I'm still thinking about ING, there trustwhorty too cause I know this company for a long time and I have been a member for so long. I can sum up all the things that stil have to be arranged and is arranged but, that's such a long list, I can be short in that, everything is going well, and with everything I mean the finacial things and other bussines stuff. Here and there I still need to do some things but that has no rush. The most important stuff is all settled.

My wishes for the comming months, years, decades (lol) are... A nice job, (what I'm working on at the moment) a nice house what feels comfy and where I can live my life in, (It's getting there) people around me (friends, fellow workers, etc, etc.) Doing activities in my free time, (sport, cursus, etc, etc.) I would like to travel aswell, that would be nice, I so miss the flying. Going up in the air, woohoo! Love it! When I achive all the things I summed up above here I'm pretty sure there will be a lovely lady come across my path while doing working, activities, travelling. Or maybe I will go search for her on my great big white horse, but I'm still not in a rush, I also think that that's a good thing, don't haste things, take it easy and enjoy yourself first, and then... maybe... you never know! First things first.

Tomorrow Ikea!! Oh yeah, I still need some items. The weather is still okay at the moment to go on a bike, if I wait another few months I will have to dash trough the snow, and that's not a pleasant thing to do. So, it's better now. Curtains 2x, fitted sheets, 2x lamps for the living room, 1 lamp for the kitchen, I think I summed up the most important itmes I still need. Ofcource Ikea has lots of nice other stuff, but I like to buy first the things I 'really'need. The other nice things are just side issues. Hopefully the weather will be as good as today tomorrow, today was a nice day, no rain, no storm, just clear blue sky and sunshine. It's nice with all the brown/yellow/red leafs. I might take some pictures when I'm on my way to Ikea.

Still no sign from Saf, I sent her a mail three or four weeks ago, I asked for my belongings. I asked it very nicely and aproached her carefully. I so dislike arguing with her, I just want to keep the peace between us. And what she all does further, it's all fine with me. I think about her less nowadays, I just want her to be happy and live her life. If something will happen to her I still will be concerned, that wont change, the same counts for her kids, I still care alot about them. But I'm living my life here now, here and there a little contact would be nice. A short mail once in a while with asking me or I ask her how it's going or what's going on with the kids, just that. That would be nice. I wrote Saf this morning another mail after I waited a small month, asking for my belongings.

Again I asked her carefully, I asked her to give me a sign what's going on with my belongings, I told her aswell that I don't mind when she's gonna send it, but I would like to have a sign. Cause ignorance is not like her, it's been already a few months since my first message. I have been thinking to let it all be, just leave it and let it be. I'm thinking that this morning I sent my last message.... and then I will let it be if I don't hear from her.

Life has got to be lived -- that's all there is to it.

Life has got to be lived -- that's all there is to it.

My mind: "Hey you wanna go to Ikea this weekend? Otherwise the things you really need are sold out." Me: Yes, sure, but let's wait first for the weatherforecast! I still need lots of 'plints'  to get my laminate done, plints will be placed in the corner between the wall and the lamintate on the floor. When all the plints are placed I can say then that my laminate is done. I still need a few things more from Ikea, but only items what I really need, like a few lamps and perhaps curtains. First I need to do some measuring. For the same reason the weather will be so bad that I'm not even going, I would really like to go once my head is on Ikea, but it's quit a ride, and if the weather is bad, hmm! I will see.

What a nice morning at work, I don't even have to ask what to do. First I walk towards the cantine, for a cuppa tea, and for a greeting to the other workers. There's not much talking in the morning, lol, it's way to early. At 7:30 all the workers go to there machines or other there  duties. I will walk to my duty, I have been doing the same work now for three days, and I like it, I don't even mind doing it. I'm becoming quit handy in it aswell, no one touches my work! You hear? lol. My Boss came up to me aswell this morning, asking me how it went, I told her that everything went well. It's sometimnes quit heavy but that's a thing I have to get used to. My Boss told me that if I wanted some other work I can just ask, but I like what I'm doing at the moment, if it gets bored then I will ask for something else. I'm getting used to what I do, it feels comfy.

The new worker who came from Reha came aswell, it was his first day, and he got another duty to work on. It was nice having him around. We talked a few times, and sat next to each other with the breaks. At 1:00 after my lunch I decided to go home and not to Reha, tough deciscion but I was glad I made the desicion. I drove my bike towards home and felt quit good, I thought a ten times, "Ah, shall I go to Reha or not?" But I didn't go, I came home and putted on some comfy clothes and took a nap. I slept for thirty minutes and woke up in the sun. After waking up I felt sore but later on I felt much better. I'm so glad I didn't went to Reha. I felt much better and had energy left for the last part of the afternoon, my first load of laundry is hanging, lol.I informed my Boss at Reha aswell with a email about not comming, he understood that my new job comes first, I could always drop by he told me, and I surely will.

Muammar Gaddafi...

Former Libyan leader Col Muammar Gaddafi has been killed, Libyan Prime Minister Mahmoud Jibril confirms.

My reaction when I saw and heared the news? Ooh? okay! I know who Muammar Gaddafi is, and I know what he does and that he's a bad Dictator. But further then that, I don't know, I didn't follow him and if he was on the news I skipped it. Not interesting, although his hairstyle and outfits is more then interesting. The man is a lunatic and he's not 100% I think, the way he dresses says it all. Now there all happy in Libya, I sure understand that aswell. These people have been living in bad situations for almost 40 years, no wonder there happy. 
Now the question is what's next? What will happen after Gaddafi's death? I guess we will hear it, right? 


P.s Dictators are people too, even how brutal and cruel during their reign might be. Images of a bloodied and injured Muammar Gaddafi are shocking.
Reactions from Holland over Gaddafi's death... 


Rob: I'm So glad he was caught. Chapeau. Let's hope that Libya is able to get himself on track.


Lisette: Just come home from work and heard talking about the death of Gaddafi. Finally ... Another dictator / murderer is less.

Bas: It is unfortunate that Gaddafi can not longer be tried. Hopefully the last of his faithful followers lay down their weapons quickly, so that finally the reconciliation process can get started."

 Monique: A strange bunch of people, what on earth will become of these people? See how they deal with a death body, it's outrageous! I'm concerned how it will go further with the people in Libya. See Egypt now when Mubarak is gone.


Sigh, I'm actually happy that it's all far away, far from my bed as we say in Holland. Everyone has to believe in something, I believe I'll have another cuppa coffee.

Ugh! Sigh! And a Yay!

Ugh and a Sigh!

Well, here I am at the library, writing my post. This afternoon my internet connection fell out, I thought at first just reset my modem and I'm done, just like I always do. But no! I reseted my modem ten or twelve times, but nothing helped. I even called the company who gives me the internet twice, and they told me there was nothing wrong with my internet connection. I have been trying for atleast an hour and then I gave up. Maybe the company was wrong or maybe not, I tried everything. I even thought about ordering a new company for my internet.... I just don't know. P.s. It's not that fun writing here in the library, lol. Lots of kids and this keyboard is kinda akward. Anyway, I will see how long this 'no internet will last, atleast I have a TV. In the end there's will always be a solution.

And then...

And then after coming home I tried again and again. After five minutes I gave up. Not much later I came up with a idea. I will call a fixer, the company who gives me the internet has fixers too, they come and fix you computer or the internet, even in the evening, only it will cost me. I putted everything ready, cellphone, computer on, papers with me, modem stand by. Then I saw the reset button again on the modem, and I thought, "Why is it not working? I tried so many times," I pushed again, and again. Then all of a sudden there it was, I had internet again! Yay! The so called 'reset' button wasn't a reset button. That button was for to turn off or on wireless internet! I have been turning my internet off and on! Goose I am! I will never, NEVER touch that button again! LOL! Pffeeww!

Today...

Today was a cold day, oh yeah! Still I didn't want to wear a winter coat, but tomorrow I will start. Were getting colder days this week, I might even get my long underwear out of the closet, lol, oh yeah I have them. I took it easy today, slowly I woke up and took my time with prepairing breakfast. Cornflakes with a sliced banana, yum, it looked good and it tasted good. Easy morning, I red some magazines and solved some word search puzzles, I like them. Around ten I putted warm clothes on and went off to do some duties, I needed copies and the city hall has a nice copy machine. I have been there many times so it's handy I knew the way inside the building. Almost next to the city hall stands the library, I needed to get my free membership confirmed. 

At the library...

It's really a nice library, it has lots of space, there's even a lunch room. The library has four floors. The lady at the desk asked for my ID when I handed in my card. On that card it said that I have a free membership to the library. But I forgot my ID, I don't walk around daily with my passport, lol. The lady really needed my ID to confirm my membership. I will have to come back I told the lady, she was okay with that. Oh well I thought, the day is still young. On the card I saw that a library membership cost 35 Euro for a year, not bad! There you go Anisah, there's your answer. 35 Euro cost a membership for a year, and in the US it's free! Not fair! LOL. I surely will return to the library with my ID, I look forward to pick out a book the next time.Maybe two books.

Tomorrow...

A nice but cold day it was this Wednesday, with the 'free dinner' we had kale with potatoes, (mashed) a nice winter meal. I loved it! Tomorrow it will be a working day again, one guy from Reha is comming aswell to work there. Kinda looking forward to it, only wondering what kinda work he will do, will he take over my work? The work what I'm used to now? And what will I be doing then if he will do my work? Some questions where I will get an answer on tomorrow, I will see it then. I want to focus now on my new job, in other words, "I'm going for it." And tomorrow afternoon too Reha? I don't know yet. I shouldn't actually cause I will regret it afterwards. I think I will send my Boss at Reha a message, saying and explaining that it's better for me I'm not comming. I'm sure he will understand.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. 

Laying on the couch with my laptop on my legs, when I turn my head to the right, I saw a little low table and  it has a nice warm cuppa coffee on it. Sometimes the little things can make you feel like your on a paradise. This relaxation was needed and I was looking for ward to it, I had a exhausting day at work. This morning went fine at Slettenhaar, I like it there, the other workers are starting to talk aswell, that's a comfy feeling. Sometimes I can be like a wall-flower, aproach me for a talk and I will talk to you, but when I have to aproach you, wait! Just a bit to shy, and I'm not that a talker. In the past I was mostly like that, specially at school, oh dear, I was never on the foreground. I guess I could blame I was a kid alone with no brothers and sisters, just Mom, Dad and me. Since I have been in Canada, many things changed, aswell as my time at Humanitas. I had lots of people around me in Canada and Humanitas. I can say I can (and will) aproach people easier now. 

Alright, back to the couch,  I'm exhausted, I did a bit to much today. After Slettenhaar I went to Reha, and I shouldn't have done that. Ofcource it was nice to see the other workers again, but I felt tired. I did my work though in my own tempo, like my Boss told me too. But still. I finnished at four and was riding back home with some other workers from Reha, when I arrived at home I felt it, heavy on my chest and just felt exhausted. When I get my rest I start to feel it, when I go on with working, I won't feel it that much. But going on and ignoring that I'm tired that's where I go wrong. It's ussualy at the end of the day, when I feel it, and notice it I did to much. Ofcource everyone is tired after a day work, but for me it's just different. I did more then I could bare, maybe I was a bit to excited, then my mind does not listen, when my body says stop. Mostly my body will win though and then I will take it easy.

Solution? I will change my working schedule, my plan is to focus more on my new job, Reha is not that important at this moment. Reha is only important for keeping contact with them over my new job, inform them about how it's going at my new job. Working at Reha at this moment is just for pleasure, cause I miss the other workers or I miss working with wood. Now I will stop with working at Reha, but will keep contact. I work now three half days at Slettenhaar, Now the Boss at Slettenhaar would like that I work four or better fivew half days. First I will try to get used to the three half days, then with in two weeks I will try four half days, then perhaps slowly building it up too Five half days. I just will see. My Boss at Reha would like to see me working at Reha aswell, but I need to think of myself aswell, and I will.

I love my couch, stirring my spoon around and around in my cuppa coffee, lol. Relaxation, after writing this post I will visit my City, City? Yeah, my City in Cityville on Facebook. It's getting a kind of a habbit, lol. It's all about building houses, community buildings, shops and lot's of other stuff, everything what a city needs. It's like being a major of your own city, I like it! But it's getting thougher and thougher now, I need to build more houses to get more citizens. But the lack of space to build these house, ugh! Sometimes it ain't that easy. Alright, let me get going to my City, I need to harvest some black berries, I'm such a goose, lol!

Cold, colder, coldst!

Cold, colder, coldst! 

It was cold this morning while I went to work, but I was prepaired. Still I leave the winterjacket where it is, in the closet. I don't wanna spoil myself already, I will save my winterjacket when it gets really cold. I putted a sweater with a zipper under my Autumn jacket, took my scarf and a thin warm hat. No gloves yet, no spoiling. I was nice on time, I left at 7:00 and arrived at 7:15 at work, the maindoor was still closed and some of the workers were standing waiting outside. Suprising, but it was okay. Still it feels a bit akward to ride my bike to my new job and not to Reha, But that will change, I will get used to that. I like being on time at work, so I can take it easy and not have to rush to start with work.

There are alot of people working at my new job, (Let's call it Slettenhaar, cause that's the name of the company) if I have to guess how many I would say around 35 people. And that's alot more then at Reha, with their 8 people. I knew right away what to do when I started this morning, it was the same work I did last Thursday. I saw already alot of sawed bunches of aluminium rods laying on a table, all different lenghts. I will have to attatch them together again with a kind of rubber rope. I walked toward the bunches of rods and my Boss walked with me, "You know what to do," he said with a smile. "Yep," I answered. It's a bit boring work but that's alright, It's quit easy work and that's what I like about it aswell.

Everything went well, only a few times the muscle pain bothered me, there were a few rods (a bunch of 100) they had quit a long lenght, so, attatching them together was tough. The coffee break came as a relief at 9:30, I was thinking, "How on earth will I manage if I have to do this a whole week? I will never manage that." The thought what made me feel comfy was that I don't have too, I will just do my best and see how it will go. If I don't manage these three months of testing, then I will go back to Reha, and then I can say that I did tried my best but I didn't succeed. I can say then, this is not the right job for me, I don't have the energie for it. But this is now, and I'm still okay, just muscle pain and tired afterwards. Getting used to it is my next goal.

Suprisingly, there are three woman working at Slettenhaar, one of them is 65!! And she's a tough little lady, wow! I wouldn't give her 65, now way! She told me it will be her last few weeks here, she's gonna retire soon. I wasn't suprised with that age. The morning went pretty fast, I decided to have lunch at Slettenhaar, and then return home. I think it's a good thing to get to know the other workers this way, spending lunch with them and showing them that I'm a part of the team too. I left at 1:00 when the other workers went back to work, I was exhausted. Sleep was needed. But I couldn't cause between 1:30 and 5:00 I will be getting a fixer for my broking window in the hallway. Remember the broken window? And me locked out of the house last week?

I rested and layed on my matras, and felt asleep for ten minutes. I woke up at 2:00 and the fixer came just before 3:00, nice! The fixer measured the window and had to go back to get the new window, he came back within fifteen minutes, he went to work and placed the new window in twenty minutes. I'm so happy with it, although the window looks a bit different, it's much better then a window with a hole in it, right? I thanked the fixer and cleaned a bit up after him, I hope I wont have to pay for the window, I'm asured, but it wasn't a axcident that the window broke, I had to brak it to get in the house, so, hmmm! I will wait and see. It's gonna be a cold night again and tomorrow rain, sigh, oh well, it's Autumn what can you expect.

One last thing!

Dear follower,  your sleeping service has been activated
Now enjoy unlimited sweet dreams browsing in your bed.
Good night & sweet dreams.

And.. 


And...


And...

 Have a nice sleep Jana.

“Carpe diem, Seize the day”.

“Carpe diem, Seize the day”. 

Seize the day, yeah, I will have to start with some things what will get me out more. Specially in the weekends, or, I don't know. I need my rest too, and the householdings has to be done aswell. Yeah this week I will start, for example visiting the libary. I still need to go to the libary cause I have a free membership for a year. I got that free membership from the housing corporation as a gift. Aswell I think there's a community center in my neighborhood, where people can go for following a cursus or for just a cuppa coffee or tea. I should have a look this week. I know I want these 'things,' I will explore them and go out more.

Sunday... I cleaned and organized a few things. I whiped and swiped the floors, and cleaned out the bathroom and shower. I organized the cabinets, mostly paperwork. I like my organized paperwork, so I can find my post or papers easily. I have several binders, I guess I have 6 or 7 of them, all in different colors. I use them for my mail and other important papers, there so handy. I even have a binder for my last mail, after a few weeks I will look in that binder and I will decide what to do with it, throw it away or keep it. I have three cabinets, and there not even completely full, and they won't be either I think.

These cabinets are build into the walls and there I can pack alot of things. I don't need another cabinet, everything will fit in the build-in cabinets easily. It was another sun shinning day, no cloud in the sky. But I stayed inside, don't know why, lol. Just felt like it, I had to clean and organize anyway. And it's nice to walk around in a sweater plus pyama pants too all day. Today on Facebook I had a akward moment, lol. There's this guy who I knew from when I went out to houseparties and was a d.j myself. His name is Jeff and he's a d.j. aswell and he performed in a dance band. I never spoke to him though, I just saw him perform and liked the music he played. 


Jeff was and still is a celebrity in Holland, so today he asked me (for the first time) on Facebook, "Have we met?"  He must have noticed me on Facebook and asked himself, who I was. I answered that I know him while he was in a band and performed as a d.j. And that I went out alot to houseparties and that's where I saw him many times. He answered back that he thought that I was someone where he slept with one time or another, LOL!  Yeah, Jeff is gay, lives in Holland but was born in London UK.  He founded my Facebook posts always entertaining and in english, that's why he was wondering.... Akward! I laughed about though, and explained him that I was straight as can be... 


Allthough that, I like his compliment about my Facebook posts, Jeff is a nice guy and a good entertainer. Alright, enough of that, I'm looking a bit forward to tommorow, work! Yeah the weekend was a bit 'bleh,' I like the TV and the cabinet, but further then that, bleh. Maybe it was just that yesterday and today I felt a bit down, I still have that sometimes, and that's alright. Weekends are for rest and perhaps to enjoy your free days. Relaxing can also when you go out and have fun, maybe next weekend a sauna? I will see.

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."

Just my luck today, I saw a nice TV cabinet on a selling site last night and I messaged the seller. This morning I confirmed with him about the price, and he brought the cabinet in the early afternoon. Like, woot! The new TV looks nice on the cabinet, I'm happy with it, and even more happier with the TV. Installing it was a piece of cake, plugged it in and on the screen apeared a menu, all I had to do is take the remote control, follow the screen and push 'ok' sometimes. The TV progammed everything automaticly, I was done in 10 minutes. 

It's Saturday already, the time flies sometimes. Again it was a nice day out, fully sun and a clear blue sky. But it felt colder, if it's gets colder this comming week I will think about putting my winter jacket on. The colder and darker days are comming again, days that you will have to make it comfy in house. I'm happy with my TV and my computer, sometimes I do like to solve crossword puzzles or word searcher, I bought a few puzzle magazines last week. I'm aware that  I need people around me aswell, specially with the months what are ahead of me. My Dad used to call them. "Dark days before Christmas." Almost sounds like a reading book, lol.

Yeah, I had a little bit of a down moment today, just 'beng' there it came. Then I got to choose, stay in that moment  and keep thinking that I feel a bit lonely at the moment, or I'll try to do something what keep my lonely thoughts away. I had lots to do but I felt exhausted, so I choosed the first option, stay in that moment that I felt a bit lonely. Afterwards I prolly feel that this 'moment' was needed aswell, I see it as a bit of getting rid of my grieving,  it's still a  proces aswell. Escaping from these sometimes lonely moments is not always good, you have to get trough them sometimes. Another thing is that I think it's good to get started with searching for things that helps me not feeling lonely, Things like visiting a libary,or join a cursus, look for things ahead to do these comming months.


I'm not worried, sometimes having these moments just happens, it hurts but I'll get over it. Second thing what I thought of today, the last 10 months I have been trough alot, but I managed it. I achieved alot cause I had to, there was no other option. I'm aware that I'm acapable of more things then I thought I was, now, why didn't I do the things what Saf wanted from me. like getting a job, or get out more by myself, etc, etc. I know, it's a akward thought thinking this now, it was tough finding a job in Canada, specially when your ilegal,  and having a Dutch passport. So, yeah it was a struggle and difficult, but didn't I had it difficult the last 10 months? I did manage.


I shouldn't be even thinking about this now, I'm here now and I build up my life again. What if this and what if that, right? I should have done this and I should have done that. Being aware that I'm acapable of more things then I thought I was makes me wanna think of the time in Canada, thinking of the thought 'it was tough getting a job.' And it was tough, so there! Saf wanted me to 'man up,' I can say I manned up pretty much lately, why didn't I man up then? I guess I learned my lesson, and I will take this lesson with me in a/my new relationship. But ugh! Thinking back.... Maybe I should have done that different and... Sigh! Never mind! This is now and I'm here now... Just one of the moments...  


With the new day comes new strenght and new thoughts, YES!

Picture time!

 Picture time! 

Just a few pictures from what I had left on my camera from this week, with every picture I have a little story.  

Bought some steaks today aswell, they were a bit bigger then I thought.

Dinner for today. Potatoes are almost boiling!

Tadaaa, dinner is ready!

At the trainstation in Hengelo is a bicycle station aswell.

Take a look at this, where a small country can be big in, bicycles!!

Huge cabbage's in front of a Etnic food store, this store is near to my house. It's a nice store with lots of Turkish people. I had a little peek in the store today. I should have take a picture from all the waterpipes they had.

This is how I relax, feet up high!

Same relaxation, different angle.

"Days like this should be always with Autumn."

"Days like this should be always with Autumn."

I was about to make a photoalbum of nice self made Autumn pictures, but I could not find a nice spot to take these pictures. The last three days the weather was just awesome, awesome Autumn weather. Sun was shinning, not cold and a clear blue sky, perfect! Next week the weather forecast forespelled frost in the morning, just like the last three days it was cold in the morning aswell. I had to go to Hengelo (City) for a appointment with Sahayo, my new counselor. For a change I had to go to him, I didn't mind. Sahayo and I (mostly Sahayo) were planning to buy a TV in Hengelo, there's a huge electronic store where you can buy anything what has to do with electronic. This store is huge, and it's only a half a kilometer from Ikea. It's been a while since I was in Hengelo, I kinda looked forward to seeing it again. I had to be at Sahayo's place at 10:30,  I arrived in Hengelo at 9:45.

It was a short ride with the train, guess it was only a 15 minute ride. The train station was huge, that sure changed alot. It went from small to enormous, I really like the pink neon light walls. I headed to Sahayo, I had a small clue where to go but other then that, no. I knew the street and the number, I used Google maps yesterday and that helpled me. I had to go to Humanitas in Hengelo, Sahayo works there. I found the place in ten minutes. (Hooray for Google maps!) I walked in towards the Humanitas office and told the lady behind the desk that I had a appointment with Sahayo, the lady told me I had to be across the street from here, he will be there. The lady walked with me outside and pointed out where I had to be. It was an old store and once I was there, I looked out my eyes. It was a kind of a place where homeless people can do a 'day activity,' painting,  making stuff, cooking, you name it.

The place felt comfy and warm, it's a nice place to be. Sahayo was there aswell and showed me around, I liked the old furniture what the homeless people prepaired and make it kinda arty. It made me think off the time I lived on my own, and the time where I'm living now. I saw so many things and qent trough so many things the last three years,although some things were though and difficult, it makes me happy and aware aswell that sitting at home and let life just come over me isn't a good thing. I need to get out and explore things, go out and see people. It was time to go to the electronic store, Sahayo and I took off and we arrived at the store in ten minutes, while driving we talked about what all happened this week. Me having a new job, me being locked out of my house, etc, etc. It was a bit of a hectic week. Sahajo has been busy to with things for me. 

He has been investigating on my monthly income, he called Gak, that's the place where I get my monthly income from and he asked them all kind of questions. I was happy with that, cause in my head it was a bit of a mess with Gak,it felt like a  like a maze or a puzzle. But it's all straighten out now, every month I will just get my money where I have my right on. That will not change till I'm 65, even when I work with a contract this company still will pay me out every month. Ofcource I will get more money when I work with a contract then now without a contract, that's the law in Holland. Where I'm happy with is when I heared that everything with Gak is all settled now, they pay me out every month, and they pay me out on my ING account, I feel relieved! The electronic store wasn't so busy, and that's a good thing. All the way in the end of the store I could already see a waterfall of TV's, big ones small ones, every kind of TV was present.

I saw already a TV what I liked, but I looked around a bit more. There was one TV that costed 25000 Euro!! Not in 25000 years I would buy such a TV, that TV was enormous, I bet it was even bigger then my front door. I think it's a waste of money buying such a TV, but okay. I went back to the TV I saw first and asked some information about this TV, I liked it, and it wasn't that expensive. I already had a price in my head what the TV may cost when I buy one. I didn't wanna go higher then 350 Euro, below that price is fine with me. The TV I liked costed 345 Euro, and In bought it. I signed some papers, warrenty, I payed the store, and Sahayo and I carried the box into the car. I got a TV!!! Woot! I was happy with it! Driving back to my house Sahayo told me that the weather was so nice, and it was. Arrived at my house we both drank a coffee, and went trough some things what still needed to be done. My weekly homework, lol.

When I first picked up my house keys from the housing corporation I recieved a free membership for the libary in Almelo aswell . That has been almost a month now, I almost forgot about that though, Sahayo ordered me (with a smile) to go to the libary and look and sniff around there. Further... in every resedential area there's always something to do for the citizens in that area. Every resedential area has a sort of a social club or a meeting club. Where the citizens in that area can do something, like a activity, a cursus or a sport, anything. I told Sahayo a few weeks ago that here in this area where I live has to be such a thing too, Sahayo and I decided that I will have a look where that is this comming week. Yeah and further, further not that much, everythings seems fine. Oh wait let me correct that, everything GOES fine. I'm doing fine aswell, here and there a litte bit worries about my job and still a bit afraid of not comming around with my money.

I'm aware of how fast it can go you can become homeless, I sure have such a different look on homeless people now aswell. It can overcome everyone, everyone! I was homeless, can I imagine that myself? When I think of it, no! But I was, wow! I don't know what to say. I must say it could have been badder, right? I don't know... I have seen people living on the streets though many of them, and all with there own stories. Also people who lived on the streets for almost ten years. It's very difficult to put such people again in houses, cause they don't know anything else then being homeless. Anyway, I can be proud of myself!

"Let's work."

"Let's work." 

I'm exhausted and starting to feel a bit heavy on my chest while writing this post, it's been a full day. Maybe this day I did a bit to much, or is it the after pain from the nerves what has been hidding? Sometimes I have that, when I come to rest after a few days of nerves, (or stress) the nerves want to come out and then I feel the pain. I feel a bit out of breath, like someone is  pushing my chest. Rest is needed. But funny enough I can't say, "I worked so hard today, ofcource I'm out of breath." Yes, I have been working all day, and did quit alot. This morning I left to my job at 7:15 am, and arrived at 7:30 am, nice on time. It was cold this monring, oh yeah, it felt like winter was peeking around the corner. Only 4 degrees it was. When I arrived my Boss guided me inside, and offered me a coffee. She explained to me a few things about where I put my coat and my bike and ofcource where the cantine is and how the coffee machine works.

Then the Boss introduced me to the another Boss who will help me and guide me on the work floor, he will be the one who tells me what to do and gives out orders, he will also show me around and answer all my questions. I felt a bit like 'Remi,' cause I was the only one without a working overal. All the other workers were wearing the same darkblue shirt and overal, I was wearing the same outfit what I wear when I'm at Reha. Blue jeans from Levis and a Tommy Hilfiger sweater (with stripes ofcource, lol) Working shoes? No not yet, I have working shoes from Reha but Reha wanted them back. As soon as I get a contract then I will get the same outfit as the other workers and shoes. For now I will have to take care of my own working clothes, it's fine. Alright, it was time to get working, first I needed to get used to the work I had to do but later on it went fine. Slowly but steady.

I had to make 'the mats,' (Oh how do I explain this in english,lol) I'm sure pictures will help...

As you see the on the above picture, this is the mat where I have been working on, you see the aluminium? These aluminium rods has to be attatched to each other, and the use there for special rubber ropes. The mats come in different sizes, they told me that every ING bank has a a math like these. Now the attatching, to attatch the aluminium rods I needed a special tool, it was a little hook with a grip. You could almost see it as a screwdriver, same size and same grip. At the beginning of the aluminium rods there were special slots where the rubber rope has to go into, just shove it in. Well, just... in the beginning it wasn't that easy but slowly on I got handy in it, once I shoved the rubber rope into the aluminium rod, you take the hook tool and pull the rubber rope further in the rod, all the way to the end. Then cut the rope off at the start of the rod. And that's it. I made 12 mats of different sizes this morning. Pretty good, my Boss was happy with it, "Good job." The kinda work I did is just a beginning, the plan is to let me try other work activites aswell. I'm still learning.

 

The atmosphere there is nice, but so much different then Reha.Much more workers and it's a real factory with real products, serious stuff. Reha you can see as a learing school, they teach you or they prepair you for the real work in a factory, a real job. Ofcource at Reha we sell and produce furniture and other stuff but still it's different. The other fellow workers where I worked today are different aswell then the workers at Reha, most of the workers at Reha have a dissabillity to work, or have no abillity to work. They are still learning, or some workers see Reha as a day activity. Anyway, I must say I had a nice morning while working there, I was a bit exhausted, but further then that everything went fine. I only have to get used to the workers a bit there all strangers to me, and there so many of them, lol. They all know each other and I'm a stranger for them aswell. That will take time, I'm not that a communicater, specially not in this case. But I'm 100% sure that that will change, oh yeah! I'm not that a communicater but I communicate more then two or three years ago.

Many things has changed in the last three years with me and whitin me, first negative, but I can say and it's going positive aswell. Hail, hail here I come. At 12:30 I was free to go, the other workers had lunch and I went to.... Reha! Yeah, I promised them that I would work a half day and tell them how it went this morning. Funny that I saw suddenly a secondhand store on my way to Reha, I had time so I went in. There were lots of tools suprisingly, I didn't expect that. I saw aswell big coffee mugs, they were only 10 cents each. I reminded that my Boss at Reha needed coffee mugs in the cantine, silly and kind as I am, I bought ten mugs for the cantine, I thought it would be a nice suprise for them. And they were happy with it for sure, nice, big and all different kind of mugs. They were cleaning a bit up at Reha, so I joined them. It was nice being back for a little while. 

Next Monday I will start again with the new job, I will have to see how to divide my energy in the next comming weeks, I have to think of myself first. I will have to take it easy when I'm tired. I will work three half days first in the morning. If that goes well, I will start with four half days. The limit will ba five half days. I will keep contact with Reha, cause that's a must, I got my working counselors there too, they will have to be informed how it goes with my new job. I will try to work  Reha aswell, just to build it slowly off, lovely furniture I will miss you! Working at Reha will be Tuesday and Thursday in the afternoon, I will see how that goes, I'm sure I won't be doing that long, cause of my energy. Now I need to focus on my new job, divide my energy and do my best. If I don't succeed in the comming weeks, (months, cause it can happen that this job is just to much and isn't my thing), then I can always go back to Reha, and there they will look for another job for me.

Alright, time to end this post, Tommorow I will be a bit busy, I will have to meet my counselor for a appointment, were going to buy a TV! woot, WOOT!

"Hello, with the glas service contact line, where can I help you with?"

"Hello, with the glas service contact line, where can I help you with?" 

I called the housing corporation today to ask about how to get my window fixed, I called them cause when I went to them this morning they told me that I could only ask for the window prepairing trough the phone. I dislike phones, specially cellphones, but now I had no other choice then call. I called the housing corporation first and they putted me trough to the glass service contact line, and they asked me what my phone number was, what ofcource I didn't know. Sigh! I'm such a goose sometimes, I should know such things. I found my phone number and I had to call the housing corporation again, cause there was no other way to get in contact with the 'glas service.' Once I got the glas service on the phone they asked where I live and what kinda window it was, they even asked me how the window got broke, oops! I told them that something fell trough it, lol (Yeah, a hammer) 

Now a window fixer will call me to make a appointment to repair the broken window, I hope they don't call me when I'm in a shop or when I'm at work, (I dislike that) but ofcource that will happen. Oh well, atleast I will get my window fixed. I hope I won't have to pay for the repairing. I am assured though. Raining, raining and raining, just like yesterday it rained none stop. I bought myself a rain trouser and I'm happy with it, there were nice and cheap. Plus I bought a few white t-shirts, I wear them mostly underneath my sweaters or longsleeves. The once I had were dammaged while wearing them for such a long time, they weren't giving any warmth anymore. It's the first time I bought these shirts somewhere else, I use to buy Alan Red shirts, there so comfy but not that cheap.


I drove my bike two times today to the place where I have to work tomorrow, the first time in the morning was a disaster, searching and searching for the best route, and the rain fell down like crazy, but I found it. The second time I biked again the same route, but this time it went faster without any mistakes. The way to the factory is a bit further then Reha, but that's fine. I think it's a 20 minute ride. I have to be there at 7:45 am, and work till 12:30, ussualy I have to start at 7:30, but because it's my first day I can start a bit later, nice! After work I'm thinking of going to Reha, I kinda promised them that I drop by to tell them how my first mornming went. Yeah, I will do that, I'm even thinking of working a few afternoons at Reha, when I finnish my work at 'Slettenhaar.' I was always welcome said my Boss, ah, I will just see how my energy feels. I have to think of myself too. Am I excited about tomorrow? Hmm, so so, I just will see what will happen. I let it all come over me.

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~H. Jackson Brown

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.  ~H. Jackson Brown.

I'm less eeking then yesterday, Actually I'm ot really looking forward to go upcomming Thursday. But either way, I will go. What is it what makes me feel not looking forward to go? I don't know, it's not that I'm nervous, it's not that I have to say goodbye to Reha and all the people there, but there's this bothering feeling I have about this. It bothers me that the counselors who came with me for the  'applying' and the meeting yesterday were more enthusiastic about the job then I was. I feel like I have been pushed towards this job,the counselors were overreacting. They were telling me that I could do it, and that I was the perfect guy for this job, and so on and on. I already had these feelings of '"Hmm, I don't know about this," when I passed the machines on the work floor. I didn't had a good feeling about the job, my intuitions weren't so good. But even though the work is aswell TOTALLY different then what I was doing at Reha, I will go and I just will see. Still ...The bothered feeling makes me not jump for joy to go to 'this' job.

I had a nice day at work today, I finnished the wooden couch lounge set. But still when I thought about my upcomming next job, that bothered feeling came again, just like I have now. But like I said I will go. Maybe I will like it, who knows, pity though that I learned to work with wood these last seven months andthat it went so well. Okay, alright, enough about these bothered feelings. I will go Thursday, and I will give it a 100%, if I don't succeed or if I have the feeling that it's not my kinda work, I can always come back to Reha. The new factory will test me first for three months, in these three months I won't earn money, but when everything goes well in these three months I can get a contract for half a year and earn money. When everything will still go okay in that half year then I will get a contract till I'm 65! Though in the three months of testing I'm allowed to say, "Hey, it's really not my kinda work, I tried my best, I'm going." But I'm looking ahead already, I will let it just come over me and I just will see.   

Got a few things to do tomorrow, first a need a rain coat and trouser. It rained so much today, it's almost unbelievable. It started around 8:00 am and it's now 7:30 pm, it just stopped raining. When I got back from work I was soked, I hadn't had a umbrella and not having a rain suite. The thought of going home, and realizing that I will put the comfiest clothing on and make the delicioust food ever after this, made me notn even aware of the rain. Just kidding, I even had my socks and sweater wet. Yeah I need a rain suite, tomorrow first thing on the list. Next, the housing corporation, they need to fix my window what I... I mean my neighbor broke (remember that I locked myself out last Friday?) under my allowence. I have a glass ussurance, but breaking into your own house and brake a window cause of that? Hmm, I hope I will get a new window for free. But hey I can atleast say my neighgbor broke it. Or? naah, maybe the neighbor has to pay for that window, that isn't nice, right? 


Tomorrow aswell I will ride my bike to the job where I will start Thursday, to find out what is the shortest route. Clever right? After Thursday's work I can go aswell to Reha and work there in the afternoon. Or just for a visit, "Your welcome to have a coffee and perhaps some work," said my Boss. So. I will just see. Nervous about Thursday? Just a little bit, it's the bothered feeling that's eating me, still I'm thinking, "It's not the right job for me, I don't see a future in the job." Perhaps I will think about it totally different after Thursday morning. I will just see how it goes, I promised myself I will do my best. So, and now a coffee!


P.s. Friday I will write my 350th post, Oh my!

Eeeek! I got me a job!! And I'm eeking, eeeek!!

Eeeek! I got me a job!! And I'm eeking, eeeek!! 

Eeek! Yeah I'm nervous, OMG! Thursday I will be entering a new factory, new inviroment, a new Boss, and new fellow workers, that's why I'm eeeking! And I mean it when I say, this is a huge step for me. I haven't had a paying job since 2003, ofcource I'm nervous. I told last week about the job they offered me last Thursday on Reha, (I have two work counselors at Reha, they are looking for a nice and suitable job for me.) The job they found had to do with brushes and it was a nice place to work, that's all I knew. I haven't heard from my counselors since last week until today, they sure suprised me telling me this while having lunch. One of the counselors suddenly pinched my arm and told me, "Oh yeah, by the way, we have a appointment with that factory I told you about last week, we have to be there at 3:00." Alright! Eeek! The counselor continued, "I will go with you, it is a  really nice place" Okay, alright! Eek!

The nerves started, and I was doing such nice work before the counselors informed me, I was making a wooden lounge set with my new colleage. I thought to myself, "I will just have a look and I will see if I take the job or not." It was a bit of a lame day at work, there were  not many people, maybe it was because of the weather, it was grey, windy and lots of rain. It was five minutes before 3:00 when me and my counselors left to the "Almelose borstel industrie Slettenhaar," that is the name of the company and factory. Here is  a little bit about the company... 

A mat the company produced.

Almelose borstel industrie Slettenhaar is an icon in the field of technical brushes. Founded in 1910, it has since developed into an all-inclusive supplier of brushes.

One of our core activities is the manufacturing of a complete assortment of roll-up brush mats. Our mats are supplied to customers all over the world. Our service not only includes selling and manufacturing, but if required also includes measuring and a professional installation of the mat.

These mats been produced all over the world.

There you have it! When I entered the factory a lady guided us to her office, she is the Boss.  We had a nice talk and a nice cuppa coffee, I had to introduce myself and tell her what I was all able off when I work. The Boss introduced herself too and told us  about the company and what kinda work I had to do. I was still nerves, and it would be a relief actually if they all told me that the job is not getting trough. Silly me I know, lol, but it is quit simple. I haven't worked since 2003, this will be my first paying job since then. I spent to much time at Reha aswell, I know all workers, most of the workers are from Humanitas, I spent eight months at Humanitas, when I first came to Reha, I was not alone when I went to Reha, I had residents with me who joined me.  This time I will have to go alone, with, like I said, new workers, new invorement, a new Boss, etc, etc. But I want this aswell even though I am anxcious and eeeking! It is a must, and a big step forward, I can almost say I skipping few giant steps.

We finnished our coffee and tea and the Boss guided us around on the work floor, there was lots of noise, and lots of machines. I was a little bit anxcious about the machines, I am not an expert when it comes to those machines, lol. I really want to do my best with everything, sometimes I am a perfectionist, but with these machines, sigh! Naah, rather not, I guess I was just a bit nervous for the unknowing. The Boss showed me around trough the machines, and introduced me to some of the workers, they were nice. The Boss told me that she showed me all these machines just to get a idea how we make the products, "You will not be working behind the machines, we have special trained people for that,"  I felt reliefed! Further we went to the area where I will have to work, the Boss introduced me to my co worker, he will follow me the first weeks and tell me what I have to do.

"You can not go wrong with him, he will learn you everything," the Boss told me. As we were heading back to the office, my first impression was "No," but with a doubt. I just needed a little bit more convincing, and they gave me the convincing, the Boss was very enthusiastic. `Everything will be okay, I believe in you, this is the best place for you, I am sure," the Boss yelled. "Okay I will try it!" Was my answer. If I do not succeed I can always return to Reha, and the counselors will be searching further for jobs. "When can he start?" said one of the counselors, I could start right away said the Boss, but my plan was to start upcomming Monday, so I can get used to the idea of having a new job. My counselor told me that I was delaying things, that wasn't a good thing. Hmmppff! "Upcomming Thursday is a nice day, what do you think," my counselor asked me. "Well alright!" I replied. 

I was a little bit upset cause I was still a bit nervous and Monday seemed a good day to start, I saw and noticed aswell that my counselor was a bit to enthusiastic about this job for me, he almost praised the job for me, but anyway, who know, right? I will just try it and give it a 100%, sure it won't be easy and there will be obsticals, but damn! I stood trough many things these last months, I'm ready! Nothing can go wrong. So the schedule is, I will work everyday a half day, from Monday till Friday, starting at 7:30 til 00:30. The first four of five weeks I will be working Monday a half day, Tuesday a half day and Thursday a half day. Just to get used to a whole working week. I worked aswell at Reha on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I think I will get used to the whole week quit fast. The work will be so different though, Reha was just a learning procces, at this new factory we are delevering products over the whole world. Eek, here I go, wish me luck!! 

P.s. as the day went by I slowly getting used to the idea of the new job, and it's only Monday eve,' Thursday I start. I will be alright!

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life, and to be happy, it's all that matters.”

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life, and to be happy, it's all that matters.”
― Audrey Hepburn.

Ain't that the truth! Sometimes the little things can make you happy, today I nearly finnished some of the painting I planned this week. That made me happy, but still it's just some painting I nearly finnished. Within a hour I will cook my dinner, I will enjoy that dinner and it will make me happy, and still it's just a dinner. But little things like that can make you happy, your not cheering of joy and throw balloons or hang a flag out, but your just happy with it. Either your a little bit happy or your outrages happy, that doesn't matter. Happy is happy, enjoy it!

When I think about being happy, I think about the things what I wasn't able of to do when I lived at Humanitas. I can do those things now, and there's even more to come. When I think about that now, I really looking forward to those things. To name a few things, cooking a totally different meal, going out whenever I want, join a club, sport, or follow a cursus, making new friends, traveling. Oh yeah traveling! I really looking forward to that, feeling kinda anxcious aswell, cause it's sure will be a step for me. Planning a trip okay, but I will have to get a hotel or another sleeping place, book the flight, ect, ect. In short I will have to stand on my own feet when I travel, can I do that? YES I can!!

I planned and promised already a friend of mine in Canada that I will visit her next year with Thanks Giving. Yeah, I always wanted to back to Canada for a week or maybe even two weeks. Thinking about it now, it makes me worry a bit, cause lots of memories will come back, and I don't know if I can bare that. I will prolly burst out in tears. Every corner or building I will see in Mississauga will be a memory. How many times didn't I drove my (Canadian tire) bike with the kids or just by myself, or how many times didn't I visited that karaoke bar called But Rhettlers, I can go on and on. Maybe next year my thoughts will be different and less hurting when I think about Mississauga, I just will see, now is now, then is then.

I didn't do that much today, hey it's Sunday! Although I had the heater on in the morning, I was pretty cold in the shower. I took a fast shower and putted a sweater on. I did some painting like I said, I painted the plints, (as we call them) plints are the pieces what connects the wall and the floor, in my case the laminate. The plints were already darkbrown but they were a bit dammaged, so I painted them again, it looks nice. I will take a picture when I finnish it all. Almost Monday again, I must say the 'off' days were going fast. Perhaps I will have to go to that other factory again, the one where I went to last Thursday. I hope not cause it's not really a pleasure working there. My Boss told me that I didn't have to go cause I went last Thursday, but still someone has to go and some of our workers were sick last week. Ah! I will see.

P.s. I wish everyone who celebrate Thanks Giving a tremendous and joyfull Thanks Giving!

"I'm checking it twice, and again, and again."

"I'm checking it twice, and again, and again." 

I checked many times today if I had my keys with me, just to be sure, lol. It's good though, I should do it more often, cause I almost know that it could happen again. If it does, then I'm prepaired. I putted one key in my wallet, and one on top of the window frame above the door. Now you all know this I don't hope you come all into my house to steel my gold and other expensive stuff, My Dad used to say, "I always leave a wallet on the kitchentable when I go to bed, otherwise the burgelars come for nothing." Silly funny man. It's good to be carefull, better checking it a million times if I have my keys with me then not checking it at all.

The days off work are going fast, it's Saturday eve' already, the time flies. I finnished the laundry today and did my groceries for the week. I sent another present today overseas, there's a birthday comming up in October somewhere. Cle's birthday. Allthough I forgot the actual date, but the present will arrive and that's the main thing. It's the fifth present I sent this year, I don't know,  but I like giving presents, searching for the right gift for that person, I love it. About sending birthday gifts to Saf's kids, I don't see any harm in that, infact in my eyes I own them these presents. I really had a good and great time with them, I spend alot of time with them, with some of them a bit less, but still I love them all. I'm sure the presents will be smaller year by year, but a huge present or a tiny present I guess  it's the kindness of the present what it does, it's a nice gesture.

Talking about overseas and Saf, sigh. I just don't know but I still haven't got a reply from her about my belongings. Maybe I should just leave it, but, I don't know.There is still the deal. If Saf is busy with other things, then just let her give me a message that she is busy, I will understand. If she can't afford the sending of my belongings, let her send me a message, I will understand. I really have time aswell, when she sends me my belongings next year, I don't mind. Even if she has a good reason to not send the belongings, I'm sure we will talk things out without arguess or without getting mad at each other, cause that's the last thing I want. I need a message back when I ask kindly for my belongings, that's all. Saf always replied when I send her a message, she even was excited when I told her I found a house, "Show me pictures when you have decorated your house," she replied.  And I did but after that...nothing.

I'm not stalking her or spy on her, I'm not even send her a message every week or month or even longer, were not talking. What suprises me that she was excited and happy first about my house, and now all of a sudden nothing. See, I don't mind if we don't talk anymore in the near future, I live my life and she lives her life, we walk our own paths what is ahead of us, that's good. Wishing each other the best, but ignorance, I dislike that at the moment when I ask for my belongings. I messaged Saf two times now in two months asking for my belongings, that ain't much. Sometimes it botheres me but mostly I just think, "Oh well!'

"How to get attention in a new neigborhood? Easy, smack a window." (Long post)

"How to get attention in a new neigborhood?  Easy, smack a window."

What a day it was with a weird and silly ending, let's start with the silly part. I was the silly one though, I was about to get some grocery, I decided to walk cause the weather was to bad to go on a bike, the store was a 10 minute walk. I grabbed my coat and closed the frontdoor behind my back, now what I normally do when I close the frontdoor is checking if I have my keys with me, before I close the door. But this time I checked while the door was closed, (silly me) ofcource I didn't had the keys with me, I was locked out! I couldn't get in! Damn, I checked if there was another way to get in, but no, everything was locked. I went to a few neighbors, maybe they knew what to do or maybe they had a solution. But no, one neighbor told me that I should call the technical service from my housing corporation, but my phone was inside and the neighbor didn't had a phone either nor did she know the number of that service, sigh!

There was just one thought that kept going trough my mind, "I will have to go to the police, they sure will have a solution or maybe even a key what fits on every door." I had to walk cause I couldn't get into to the shed where all the bikes were, cause I didn't had a key. As soonI walked out of the building I realized that  I can't either come into the building again, aswell there is a key needed for. Sigh! It was quit a walk to the police but I was determind, I had to do something.I think I walked a little 20 minutes till I arrived, I had to search for the police station first. What a nice way to get to know this city, lol. I never been into a police office before and there I was. I told the officer my story and the first thing he told me was, "You have to break into your house, perhaps break a little window." Quit akward to hear that from a police officer, lol. In other words the police couldn't much for me in this situation, the second option was that the officer knew a store where they make keys, it's a key maker. 

The officer gave me direction to the key maker, and there I went, it was another long walk. Arrived there I told my story once again, the key maker wanted to know what kinda lock I had. I explained him that, and he could help only it will cost me a 100 Euro, he has to drill out my doorlock and puty a new lock in it. Sigh, I didn't know what to do, pay 100 Euro and I'm done with everything, or brake a window and let the windowbe  fixed by the technical service. I didn't know if that service will cost me to and how much, and I will prolly have to wait untill Monday, cause the service doesn't work on weekends. But 100 Euro is alot of money, decisions, decisions. I decided that I will let the key maker come, in the meanwhile I will will try to break a little window near by my frontdoor, if I succeed I will call the keymaker and call him off. Alright. They keymaker will come after 6:00 cause then his store will close and he can go.

I headed back to my house, I was thinking to buy some grocery first, I still had plenty of time before 6:00, it was only 5:00. But I wanted to solve the 'getting in my house' problem first, and how do I even get into the building. It was quit a walk again, the weather was cold, windy and here and there there was a huge heavy rainstorm. I thought about a solution while I was walking how I could get into the building, I know the neighbor under me, maybe she was at home and could let me in. And yeah she was home, I stood infront of her window and waved. This woman has so many plants and porceline infront of her window, she could barely see me, lol. But she saw me trough a few plants and letted me into her house. She's an old lady (76) and has a lung disease, she's been operated on her troath for cancer. She has a little hole in her troath, and in that troath she has a little 'something' so she could speak. Everytime she wanted to speak she had to held her finger on that 'something' on her troath. Very nice lady. 

I told her about that I was locked out, she laughed actually, cause I sure wasn't the first one she told me. While we talked her Son came walking in, very friendly guy aswell, I think he was around my age. And he could help me with getting in the house, he offered to help me out. "I can prolly take your kitchen window out and put it back in," he said, by the look at him he looked like a carpentry. He went to his car to take out his tools and together we walked to my frontdoor. We talked while he went to work, but the kitchen window couldn't be taken out, sigh! The window was attatched on the inside, that's why it wasn't possible. Two solutions left, break a window or the keymaker. The keymaker was a bad idea said the carpentry, in the meanwhile another neighbor came aswell. He also told me that I wasn't the first one who overcame this. Okay, the solution was, break a window, I letted the carpenter break the window cause he had the tools for it. 

The window was a bit plastered, so a nice hole in the window was the result. Pity though about the window, but okay it was also a relief to be back in my house again. I learned my lesson well today! Don't leave home without a key, or prolly I could leave a key somewhere, hidding it. That is what the neighbor always does, works perfect. I got in the house and thanked the neighbors, a nice way to get to know them, lol. I sweeped the glass of the floor and tried to cover the hole in the glass, with succes. I will have to call the housing corporation this comming Monday, they will call a glass service to come to my house and put a new window in. I have a surance of that, so if it's good I will have a to pay nothing. Just a little bit worried about burgelars tonight but I covered the hole well, so I think I should be good.


My new counselor visited me today aswell, he came in the morning. We had a nice update about the things we done so far and what still had to be done, everything is going as plan, it's all going smooth he told me. In the end of our talk he told me "Let's go to a cheap store to buy you a TV," I told him, "Are you paying?" He laughed, and he told me that I have the money for a TV, and that I shouldn't worry that much about your money. Yeah I prolly worry a bit, but hey, no wonder, right? I planned this weekend to take it easy with my money, and then the TV offer, lol. While having doubts about the TV, I just decided to go. Into the store we looked around and saw a few nice Tv's for a nice price, the TV seller though told us he hadn't had the TV I wanted in stock, I will have to buy it as it stands there. I would get 10 Euro off, "hmm, naah, I will think about it first," was my answer. Sarajoh (My counselors name) and I went back to my house, the TV had a few scratches that's why I didn't buy it. "Good choice said Sarajoh." 

Let's make a deal," said Sarajoh, "You come to Humanitas in Hengleo (City) where I work your next appointment, then we will buy a new TV in my town." So, next Friday I will come to  Humanitas in Hengelo by train, I will meet Sarajoh 10:30 there and together we will buy a new TV, for a low budget. I will be brought home by Sarajoh. Perfect! You can say I saved money today, lol. First the TV I didn't buy and then the key maker who I didn't need anymore. Oh yeah, the keymaker, well, he came after 6:00, but the problem was already kinda fixed. I letted him in and explained him that I called a few times but no one answered. (I did) The keymaker told me that I should have kept trying, he was a little upset. Oh well, shit happens to everyone right?