Looking back with good memories!

Looking back with good memories! 

I think I have a little confession to make today, or? This morning I suddenly felt  the urge to read a little piece of a blog, Saf's blog. I don't know why,  I just felt the urge. I just wanted to look or read back when Saf and I first met, just bringing back memories. It's okay though, her blog isn't private, she can and is reading my blog aswell. Akward? naah. So, I have been reading a few posts, and it felt good, I had no 'cry or bad feelings.' I don't know why I bring this all up, and write about it. Maybe I just want to share after reading some posts that I changed alot from feeling sad and confussed back in January  till feeling much better now. Or maybe I want to share that even though Saf and I broke up, that we sure aswell had a good time, it's been quit a few years, I tell you. 

Spending a long afternoon with Mar, what a adventurous girl this is, bless her!

Reading back the period from March 2009 till November 2010, bring back loads of memories and lots of thoughts aswell. Thoughts like, "Oh yeah, I remember that," or, "Oh that was a disaster!" I must say Saf is a good writer, she says it like it is and she's so good with words. Saf is not standing still it seems, she's always on the go, there's no stopping. One of the reason I fell in love with her was that I wanted to take care of her and her kids after I red and heared from her her life story. How did I know it would be so tough, I keep saying that 'we' talked and thought about it along time that we should meet back in March 2009. But I guess 'then' love had no boundaries. We (just) went for it.  

Ab loved my bike, we both spended many times on it. Child seats rules!

Saf had a rough time behind her and I sort off had aswell, I sure was in need for some companion, oh yeah. I guess we were both looking for companions. In need for a crying shoulder perhaps, looking for love, a arm around ourselves, someone beside you. Can we say we were easy targets for each other? We fell in love, but, didn't we go to fast? I must say, in a few things we did, yes. But the break up happened, we both tried many times. I'm not gonna bother myself now with saying things like, "I had to do it this or that way, maybe then...," no! I had a good time, and looking back at that time does me good, not to long looking back though, otherwise I might get those 'January thoughts' again.It's all good. 


Do I still have feelings for Saf? No. Uhm, I love her yes but not in 'that' way,  if you know what I mean. Just as I still love her kids, If something would happen to them, I would feel concerned and worried. Even though we don't have much contact, I hope we still can be friends even though the distance. I would like that, and so far it seems okay. I really hope there doing good, Saf and the kids! I know they been trough alot and I'm pleased and blessed that I was a part of Saf's Family.I hope one day that they can find the rest and peace, specially Saf. And me? I'm here now in Holland and it feels good, I'm proud of what I have achieved, and THAT feels good too. 


Back to this day, Wednesday, could you believe I had my pyamapants on till 3:30pm? Yes, no lies! I totally rested out today, reading, Cityvilling, eating, napping, it felt good. It was cold this morning, no wonder cause it freezed 1 degree, there was ice in the garden and on the cars. Tonight it will freeze again, minus 3! I have been looking for some decent gloves but couldn't find them yet, I'm sure I will find them this comming weekend. Still I'm taking care of my money, saving up for my London trip. I must say, it's going well. I buy only the things I really need. Just a few grocery I bought this afternoon, it feels good saving some money.

"It's not always that easy."

"It's not always that easy."

Writing everyday a post.... When I started this blog I made my self a deal that I wanted to write everyday one post. But it ain't that easy sometimes. Sometimes I don't even have a a clue where or what to write about, just like now, lol! But that's okay, I have a deal with myself. Sometimes I just start with one line and then I continue further with writing, then I will see where it ends. I really like my blog, I didn't read it back once, but I will one day. I started with writing almost a year ago, and the following  year has been quit a year, I really had enough news to write about. Just so now and then there were those plain laidback days, where I just had nothing to write. Those are the times when it ain't easy to write a post, lol. 

Sometimes my English isn't so well, sometimes I even use Google translate or Wikipedia to translate my words. Their not always a help, lol. Then I'll have to come up with something and  figure out a word that 'might' sound the same as I had in mind. Or I hope the choosen word makes sense, lol, I know some words doesn't make sense, that's okay I guess. Back to this cold day, yeah it was pretty cold. Specialy in the morning, I was wearing a thicker hat and a thicker scarf. I could use some thicker gloves aswell. I have a day off tomorrow, I will have a look at gloves then. Though I'm still taking it easy with money, cause of the trip to London. Feels a bit akward though, I payed the trip already and it's all confirmed. But a week before leaving to London I will recieve a final confirming from the travel company. Eeek!!!


Work is going well, I started of with 3 half days a month ago, at the moment I'm on two whole days and one half day. My goal is to work 3 whole days. That's the plan of my Boss too, atleast that is what she told me. I keep my fingers crossed, cause I so want this job! I'm doing my best with work, and my fellow workers are happy with me, I'm doing my work good. I get compliments from my Boss. But still sometimes I don't feel satisfied about working 3 whole days, but it's all I can. I really hope and pray that at the end of my 3 months 'test' working my Boss wont say, "Hey were sorry, we can't hire you, thank you and goodbye." I know it's to early to say that, but still it sometimes flashes trough my mind. My working mate (who came aswell from Reha) works 5 whole days, he has more chance to get hired. 


Sssshhh Sjon, it's enough! Stop worrying, and do your best at work! I will, and I gotta stop thinking. Keeping my fingers crossed though.

Picture time!

Picture time! 

Not much new news to share on this day, I worked a half day and it went good. I feel that this job is a stayer, although it's a tough job and although I will have to be carefull with my energy, take my rest aswell, this job has future, and that feels good. Next Monday me and my Boss will have a talk together again, about how it's going with me at the moment with work and how were going further. I'm looking forward to the talk, I'm not even concerned. Good right?

Okay, pitcture time now! 

A nice tasty plate with vla (custard) with slices of kiwi, yeah I like to eat healty. So now and then, lol!

The garden-centre was early this year with the Christmas decorations. Looks nice.

In the same store, these lovely statues. they got tons of them in many sizes.

A Volkswagon Beetle van in Christmas decoration style!

The reason I came to the garden-centre, lol. A free cuppa coffee with warm apple-cake!

Today's breakfast, muesli with slices of plum.

Last Saturday I was on my way to my Dad, ofcource I took a few pictures. I noticed right away this colorfull tree.

A little park beside my house, love the colors!

Standing on a bridge while I was on my way to Dad I took this picture.

I had strong doubts with posting this picture, and still have. But I posted it, Mom's grave, it's been a while since I seen it, I must say it still looks tidy. I will add a few nice flowers this week.

Alright, time for cuppa coffee! Cheers!

Pyama pants and rest!

Pyama pants and rest!

I didn't feel so well today, felt tired and had a pressure on my chest. It was time to settle down and take lots of rest, and that's what I did. I took two wonderfull naps, hopefully I will sleep at night aswell. And I did what I normally do on Sundays, rest and relaxing. The wearther forecast talked about freezing this comming night, so, let's see if it's going to freeze. It is cold so, it might just happen.

I like days like this, just comfy clothes on and just do nothing but relax and rest. What I really like the last few months is playing Cityville on Facebook, I'm actually waiting while I'm writing this post to have enough energy to harvest my melons. Otherwise they will get wasted, I still need 7 or 8 energy more and then I'm good. With Cityville you have to build your own city, with houses, community building, shops, you name it. Everything what a city needs, it's fun and it kills time, lol.

Am I addicted? Naah, it's just fun. Facebook has a chat aswell, so you can talk and chat with your friends. I get akward feelings when I think about the chat, I should use that chat more often, or don't I? Or should I use it whenever I want? Ofcource silly! Well, other friends might think, 'He never chat with us, why is that?" So yeah, the Facebook chat, I never know what to say for a start, to shy, so sometimes I just delay the chats when I'm planning them. After delaying, comes  a next delay and another and another... Just nervous to make a start with chatting I guess.

So, there you have it my dear Facebook friends, It's not that I don't wanna chat or that I ignore you for a reason, I'm just shy, lol. BUT know this... I love you ALL! Now let me hop on over to Cityville to see if I have the 7 or 8 energy already to harvest my lemons. Early to bed aswell tonight, work is on the schedule for tomorrow. My Boss will be back aswell, she had a little Autumn vacation. I will have to ask her this comming week if I can have a few days off cause of my trip to London.

"A new day, a new dawn."

"A new day, a new dawn."

Although I did not plan it and althought it was far and pretty cold, I went to my Dad today. I took of in morning around 10:00, it was cold but I was dressed warm. I took my time and took here and there a few pictures, such a nice Autumn day, clear blue sky and lots of sunshine, but cold. I took my time but it is still pretty far to drive, it is about twelve kilometers, it takes me 45 minutes usually. When I arrived at my Dad´s place I was exhausted but glad I made it, Dad was happy to see me. I never saw such a big smile on his face. He was dressed nicely and the sun on his face made him look handsome. It is nice to see him like that, I like to see him happy. 

He smilled almost my whole visit, then I thought I should take a picture of him smilling. But when I snapped the picture the smile was gone for a few seconds, grrr! He seems to do that all the time, LOL!

 I had a good time being there, I enjoyed myself. Dad even made a few jokes about his age, next year he will become 75, pretty old for such a handsome guy. He was happy that I did well in my new house and that I have a job. Finnaly he joked, I´m happy for you. It was good to see him, I should visit him more often. So I have been thinking, I think once a month would be good, so I can get my rest between my working days aswell. Would be nice to visit my Dad just before I go to London for five days. It was time to go and hop on my cycle back to my own city. 

A small path that leads to the nearest forest near my Dad´s place.

On my way home I went to my Mom´s grave aswell, that was close to my Dads place. The grave looked tidy only a few nice flowers or plants would be nice. It has been such a long time I visited my Mom´s grave, this did me good aswell. Just standing there, saved a little prayer and telling my Mom I´m doing well. I´m sure she is proud of me aswell. I was double exhausted when I got back home, a long nap and a good lunch did me well. A nice Saturday, I´m glad I went to my Dad, I enjoyed myself. Resting is on my list for tomorrow!

Once upon a time in Almelo!

It gets colder by the week, but that doesn't stop my from cycling.

"Oh Father."

"Oh Father." 

There's got to be a easier way to visit my Dad, I keep delaying visiting him. I feel bad about it, I should just go and should not complain about my tiredness, or whatever reason. The reason why I come up with this is that when I think of my Dad I always think, "Go visit him more often, there will come a day when he won't be there anymore." Not a nice thought, I know, but it's the trough, Dad is getting older and older. When he will pass away I will prolly feel guilty that I don't visited him enough. 

Although his old age, I see he's in good hands where he is now. He gets 24 hours a day day care. He has people around him and he should be fine. Still my visits to him should be more often.

My Dad did alot for me, he was always there when I needed him. Dad had it hard when 'Mom' passed away, the wounds of the pain he had then you can see them back on him now. Dad is 77 but he looks almost 88, his walking goes very badly and he's quit difficult. Tomorrow or next Saturday I will visit him. Yeah, I'm delaying again when I go next Saturday, I know. But still I wanna see him, talk to him and see how he's doing. Tomorrow or next Saturday for sure!

Today was quit okay, I had a good sleep, and did a few things. The good sleep was needed, I fell almost asleep last night on the couch withmy laptop on my lap. And it was just 9:00 pm. I went to the company where I get my healt insurrance from, (Menzis) cause I could get back 20 Euro from my taxes on the healt insurance I red in the local newspaper. I had to go to a site and fill in there my ussurance number and my date of birth. But I got the message that my ussarance number didn't connect with my date of birth. Very weird cause I was 100% sure I filled it in right.

The lady who helped me didn't know what to do too, my ussurance number and my birth of date were 100% okay, she couldn't help me further. I had to inform the site where I get the 20 Euro back from, But I did that already a ten times. I will have to look for other options, cause I'm determain to get the 20 Euro. And it was cold today, oh yeah, I need some good gloves and one or two long johns more, lol! Warmth is good!

Money! ....Sigh!

Money! ....Sigh! 

Even though I putted a few items on a secondhand selling site and even though I sold something today, (I sold a hatstand for 8 Euro) I really gotta take it easy with my money. I wont be buying things anymore, only the food I need. Hardcore saving money, oh yeah. I really have too, cause otherwise I can forget my trip to London. No wonder they always told me that December is a expensive month, Christmas, gas bills, electric bills, etc, etc. I think I will be fine though, but still, there's nothing wrong in being prepaired, right?

Saving money too? Here's a few tips!

-Buy only those things that you can afford. Never borrow so.

-Buy only things on sale, but then only if you really need them.

- Always make a shopping list before you go shopping. Buy only what is on the note!

- Put out the light in the rooms were you aren't.

-Cook with gas instead of electricity.

-turn the heaters off in the rooms were you aren't, close aswell the doors and the curtains.

 -A dash of vinegar works great as a fabric softener, and also ensures that you have bright staying colors. 

- With many people in a room is also very energy efficient, everyone helps with his body to warm the room, or turn the heat down two degrees and put on a sweater!

-Open a savings account and deposit every dollar you can spare on it. After several years you have unwittingly saved a lot of money.

- Take always hotel soaps with you after a visit and aswell the toilet roll.

-Go to bed early.

-Do not go shopping when you're hungry, then you usually buy too much.

Ah! Just a bit concerned here, I gotta lessen the concerning. Everything will be fine. On with this Thursday... I worked a whole day and I learned alot of new things,m I made a mat! Woot! I went trough the whole procedure to make a mat completely. I was kinda nerves about the new things I had to do but I did fine and well. I worked with another guy who aswell  had to learn the new things. He was a bit slow though, but okay. He's younger and is still learning on college. I'm happy how this (long) day went, I was tired afterwards but really satisfied.

And Now? Now it's time for the weekend, I'm actually thinking of going to my Dad, cause it's been a while. I can tell him in person that I am doing good on living on myself again, a new house and a new job! Dad will be very happy that I have a job, oh dear, how many times did I went to him for a visit and he asked me if I had a job already! I lost count. Let's see when I will go to him for a visit, I hope the weather is good on me.

"A penny saved is a penny earned." - Benjamin Franklin.

"A penny saved is a penny earned." - Benjamin Franklin.

 I gotta start saving money now for my trip to London on the 30th of December. The last few weeks I have spent (in my eyes) to much money, okay it was worth it and I was kinda needing it. But still, I should start saving my pennies now.  I needed lamps, a doormat, and a few things more. Maybe I could have wait with buying those things untill after the trip, yes, I could, but I didn't. I have what I needed and wanted, so it's good now. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing, but it's good to pay attention on my money rigth? I still have sometimes these concerns or worries about my money, (what is not really needed) I don't want to be homeless again, oh no! I want to be abble to pay my usurances and rent. 

This morning I payed my trip to London, but it, went slightly different how I wanted it. I got a mail from the travel company yesterday, and in the mail was written everything I needed to know about the trip, including how to pay for the trip. After I payed them I will recieve a mail back from them one week before the actual trip, with every detail I need to know for the trip. I thought it would be handy to pay the travel company online with my ING account, so handy. Atleast I thought it was, I done it already a few times so no big deal, I thought. I filled everything in what ING needed to know on my ING paying page, then it was just waiting for a code what I would recieve in a few seconds on my cellphone. The code is called a tan-code.

I got the code and checked it a few times and filled the code in, 'wrong code' was the next message. I checked the code again and filled it in number by number, but again, 'wrong code!' Weird, I was a 100% sure I got the right code, I filled the code in again and... 'wrong code, you wont recieve a new code,'  'Blocked!' I couldn't continue with the paying online. The message said that I will get a new code by post within five working days and then I will be able to pay online again. After these five days when I recieved the new code I have to go with 'that' code to my bank to get another activatings code. With that code I can log in and will be able to be pay online again. (Your still here?) Sigh! 

Well, I wasn't happy, I was focused with paying the London trip and now this. I wanted to pay the travel company one way or another, and  as soon as possible. After my cuppa coffee I grabbed my coath putted my shoes on and went to the ING, I saw on the ING site that I can make money over from my account to another account, I only had to bring my bank card and passport. After ten minutes I arrived at the ING. A guy helped me right away, nice. I explained him what I wanted and the guy gave me three options. One, ING can order special 'making over money' papers, that will take fourteen days to only order those papers. Two, ING can help me right away with making the money over, I only have to show my bank card and passport, and the guy will fill in the papers for me. 

Only this option will cost me 8 Euro! Woot!! The guy explained me the options and then told me, "So there are the options, it's up to you, what you gonna do?" It sounded a bit hars and with a tone, but okay. I went for option two, but wasn't very happy with it. But the trip to London has been payed now, and that's what I wanted. The saving can start now. Other then this litle failer this day has been good, I took two naps, this cold weather asks alot energy from my body. I putted a few things on a secondhand selling site aswell, (I want to earn back the 8 Euro from my ING failer, lol!) I could use some extra money, specially for my trip. 

Tomorrow I will be working again, I deiced to work a whole day instead of a half day what I normally do on Thursday. I actually should have started next week with two half working days, but oh well. Sometimes when I work these half days I don't feel satisfied towards the other workers, I should not really feel that way, cause I should actually just look at myself, if I can work not more then a half day then it is like it is. I shouldn't feel guilty or what ever other un-satisfied feeling. But I feel I can work a whole day, that's aswell what the Boss in the end wants from me, working 20 hours in the week. In days that is, Monday a half day, and Tuesday plus Thursday a whole day. That will be my woring schedule for the next comming months. I'm ready for it!

Honest critism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger. 

Taking critism, I need to learn that, cause I really dislike getting critism. Today I was getting critism at work, but was it critism? My second Boss caught me on making a little mistake while working, although it wasn't that a big mistake, he looked annoyed while speaking to me. My second Boss had to do a little more work cause I didn't finnish a mat on a few points not so well. He was attending me on the mistake, and he told me how to do it and that I need to do it properly. In my eyes it wasn't that a big thing, but after that my Boss attended me I had the feeling that I failed.

My thoughts became worser, In the late afternoon I was thinking already, 'I will get fired', lol. The annoyed look on the Boss his face after my little mistake made it only worser. Or were it just my thoughts? While  writing this now I'm sure it were just my thoughts. I had lessons in positve and negative thoughts, it's so easy while learning it, but in real life... I think everyone finds that sometimes difficult. I sure wont make the 'little mistake' again, I thought this afternoon. I checked every math after I finnished it, I guess I can say I learned from the mistake, but still that 'fail moment thought' was floating around. 

On my first day at work I worked together with another new guy, that new guy came aswell from Reha. So it was  nice working with him, although I see him still a bit as a concurent. ('Negative thoughts,') we are both working for three months, these three months are a test. "What if, he can stay and I need to leave?'  'He works a whole week, and I only three whole days, sure they will hire him for good.' 'Should I try to work aswell a whole week, to just get more chance for the job?' NO!!  My Boss said it's good, I'm doing a good job, they believe in me, so stop thinking, your doing what you can, and your doing it well!  Positive thinking is not always that easy. 

Sometimes I want to prove myself that I can do better, but they are already happy with me, so why would I? Just thew way I am I guess.... Sometimes I want to do the job faster and then I make sometimes these little mistakes. After that tiny little accident from this afternoon I want to pay more attention to what I do, plus pay attention to what the Boss tells me when he explains something. I want to be more 'outgoing'aswell, I am already but in my eyes it's not enough. Be a man, speak up! Ah, I don't have to be concerned, I made a little mistake and I think right away  it's the end of my job. Not good! It's all good, from mistakes you learn they say.... I learned that I won't make that mistake what I made this morning.

Hey! It's getting colder... I think the Winter is starting, such a grey and cold day today. And it will get colder and colder, so I'm not gonna spoil myself with warm winterclothes already, like a winterhat, gloves, a thick scarve. That can wait till it's really cold. Heater is on though! Keep it warm folks!

"Just a bit colder."

"Just a bit colder."

It was just a bit colder today, and grey, like it wanted to rain constantly. But it stayed dry the whole day. There is not much news to anounce today, work went fine and well. My Boss is on a short vacation I noticed, cause I didn't see her as much as other times. Usually she walks trough the factory a few times a day. I need a little talk with her cause of my trip to London, I need two days off. My vacation ends on the 2th of January, but I will still be in London then. I will return from London on the 3th of January, I will be pretty exhausted then aswell, so I could use a day or two off. Hopefully she will give the two days off. Or perhaps one. 

It's nice comming home from work, so much better then Humanitas. After work I want to relax and have a little time on my own, it feels comfy and I look forward to it.  I think everyone wants that and has that feeling. Comming home and feel comfy when you relax or you come home to your Family, nice feeling. Tonight there was the 'free'dinner again like every Monday night.' There are two places  where there is a free dinner, on Monday at 5:30 I go to the 'Wonne.' that's a place where homeless people can live for a while, it's just like Humanitas. And then there is the 'Banier,' that's a place where they hold prayings, meetings and dinner's. Everyone with a low income can join the free dinners on Wednesdays and Thursdays. 

I have known this old guy on the picture for a while now, his name is Gerrit, he's 77 years old and has been living on the street since 2005. He's a nice guy but aswell stubborn and has a will of his own. He's always around with the free dinners on Wednesday and Thursday, since a few weeks he has a little room at Humanitas. You will always see him when you hit the streets in the city, he and his scootmobile.

Usually it's the homeless people who join those dinners, aswell old residents of Humanitas and the Wonne. Now there is a difference between homeless people and homeless people, there are homeless people who live at Humanitas but there are aswell homeless people who live 24 hours a day on the street. These street homeless people can be rude and loud while having the free dinners, it seems they just don't care, blame the alchohol aswell. That's why it's not always fun being at the free dinners. It's been quiet the last few months with the dinners cause there was one old homeless guy sitting in jail, this guy was always drunk with his buddies and always loud. Not that fun having him around. His buddies were acting quit normal when 'he' was in jail.


Two weeks ago 'he' came free from jail and joined the free dinners again, and what a entrance he made, "I'm back!" he yelled with a drunken voice. I often think to just skip the free dinners, but I keep comming back, cause I like to see my old Humanitas buddies and sometimes the atmosphere is really nice, and it saves money. Just that sometimes I don't feel that save with those homeless drunk people around while having dinner, maybe I overreact, I don't know. Maybe it's just time to search or join other 'normal' people. Just like I have 'normal'people around me now with my new job. Having such 'normal' people around me feels sometimes like a bless. Akward thought though. Sometimes I think it's good to haven known such homeless people.

"Pyama pants day!"

"Pyama pants day!"

I like wearing pyama pants, or just comfy pants when I'm inside the house. Today I stayed inside so I weared them the whole day. When I would have gone out I would have put some jeans on. When I would have returned, jeans off again and comfy pants on. Sundays are great for comfy clothing, the stores are closed, so everyone is mostly inside. It was a grey day today, no Sjon-shine, I mean sunshine. I think we had enough sunshine the last three weeks, the winter can start from my part. I hope it's gonna be a nice winter, a good old fashion winter with frost on the windows and just enough snow to dash my bike trough it. That would be nice.

With such days like this your almost allowed to make it comfy in the house to enjoy yourself inside. Reading, cooking, computering, householding? Yeah, that too, crank up a nice tune, and you'll be fine, or watch a good movie. I'm sure I will be fine. A relaxed and chilling day today, the only thing what I did today was ironing. And further, cooking, showering, I solved two word search puzzles. (I love it) And I went trough alot of flyers to see what's new and what's cheap. I like searching trough flyers, alot more fun then mails, lol. I'm always concerned that there is bad news with mails. 


The last few days I have been thinking about dating again, am I ready for it? No, I don't think I am but that will come in time , and ofcource it can just like that happen, falling in love. Sponteanous you bump into a nice girl, start a conversation and there you go. I rather have a spontaneous  date  then searching for a date or searching for a woman, cause that almost never works out. I dislike dating sites, but although that I think I will have a look the comming week. Just to sniff on it, nothing serious. What am I searching for when I will be searching? I don't no actually,  a woman with a few kids would be nice. 

None smoking, blond, sexy, a Pamela Andersson type, you know , slim and fit! Love it! Naaah I'm kidding! LOL! I don't even find her atractive. When she's nice and friendly it's already fine for me, it's all good. But again, I will be looking cause I'm curious, but further then that, nothing! I want to enjoy myself and be happy with who I am and happy with what I'm doing. If a nice woman would bump into me while I'm doing my daily things she's more then welcome to join me. Spontaneous dates are the best.

Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle

 Bicycle bicycle bicycle, I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle, I want to ride my bicycle.  

Me and my bicycle, I should say bicycles actually cause I had a few in the many years.  I was a late age when I could ride my bicycle, I think I was about seven or eight. All my other friends could already ride their bicycle, but I still had sidewheels, lol. But when I once was riding my bike I was fine and I loved it. Goodbye sidewheels, I had so many bikes in my life. When I was twelve years old I joined a BMX cycling club, that was fun, I really liked BMX-ing. I joined organized races, but never ended on the first place, it was fine with me. Just like everyone I liked flaunting with my bike and did tricks with it. The BMX-club was a nice bunch of people of all ages, I had a few friends where I trained with and practized on our new tricks. 

As a teenager I went to school on my bike just like almost everyone else, tons of bikes stalled in the bicycle stands. It was almost a ocean of bikes seeing it, also riding my bike to school there was a long row of bikes on the bicycle lanes.  I can say I never quited riding bicycles, even when I was eighteen when I could ride a moped or a car, I just kept peddling. I was quit nerves or maybe a bit scared to ride a moped or drive a car. Save on my own bicycle, that's what I liked. I had driving lessons though, together with a friend I joined a few lessons. But, oh my oh my what was I nervous. It just wasn't funny anymore, while driving I had to look everywhere cause there was so much traffic. It was just not my thing. I skipped and left the lessons after I failed a few times.

And after that? I just keep peddling my peddles, everwhere I want to go I would take my bike or I go with the train. I have been on many places and always used my bike, I even used my bike in Canada for a while, and even bought a nice bike there at Canadian Tire. I liked riding my bike in Canada, but it sure was different without any bike lanes. I enjoyed riding my bike with Saf's kids and with Saf, the bikeseat on my bike was a bless, Ab loved it! Yep I love my bicycle, once you learn how to ride it you can't learn it off, just like swimming.

Consider a man riding a bicycle.  Whoever he is, we can say three things about him.  We know he got on the bicycle and started to move.  We know that at some point he will stop and get off.  Most important of all, we know that if at any point between the beginning and the end of his journey he stops moving and does not get off the bicycle he will fall off it.  That is a metaphor for the journey through life of any living thing, and I think of any society of living things.  ~William Golding~

Lazy Saturday. 

Just took it easy today, still it's warm, to warm for this time of year. I was wearing a thiner jacket today when I did grocery, just because it was to warm. I finnished some painting what I wasn't looking forward to today, I had to paint a piece of the 'plints'  between the floor and the wall. I was concerned I would touch the red wall paper with my brown paint, lol. But a piece of cardboard brought a wonderfull solution. I'm happy that worked out. Further I did some grocery and that was it, oh yeah, I shooted some videos of myself riding my bike as you can see in this post. It was a nice Saturday, took two naps and did two loads of laundry, now I'm writing and enjoyning my big favorite cuppa coffee.

Confirmed!! I'm going to London! Suppa eek!!

Confirmed!! I'm going to London! Suppa eek!!

After many doubts, tossin and turnin, and talking to my counselor this morning I confirmed, I'm going for a five day trip to London. It's a five day excursion trip, I will be leaving on the 30th of December 2011. We will be visiting many sight seeings and musea on New years eve' we will be celebrating under the Big Ben. Woot! Ah here's the full schedule to make it easier...

Day 1, In the early morning we travel  to London, England, where we will arrive at the beginning of the evening. Your first introduction to this city will be from a huge height. The famous London Eye offers great views over London. After this experience you will be transferred to your hotel.

Day 2, In the morning you are free to do whatever . Around noon, we will make a trip to the town of Windsor. This town is best known for Windsor Castle, official residence of the Queen. You will also find here the Tower Bridge St. George's Chapel, built in the 14th century and known for its many royal marriages. In the evening you can celebrate the New Year where ever you want. This allows you to celebrate the last seconds of the old year countdown to the world's most famous clock Big Ben and the London Eye to enjoy a real fireworks show!  Around 02.00 hours the bus will drive back to the hotel.


Day 3,  After breakfast our coach will guide you to the bus for a  drive around the sights of the city. Our driver will give tell you all the ins and outs about the city, including the Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and St. Paul's Cathedral. We also drive past Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square and Downing Street. We end at the Tower of London, the most famous building in London. Today you can visit the Crown Jewels. The afternoon is for your own wishes. At the end of the afternoon you will be picked up by the bus and will be driven back to your hotel. To complete the evening we can visit one of the many theaters in London's rich.

Day 4, Today we begin with a visit to Hampton Court Palace, just outside central London location. This palace is one of the most important of England considered and promises you a journey through 500 years of royal history. Discover the magnificent rooms of William III and Henry VII, and stroll through the immaculate gardens of less than 270 hectares! ahe In the afternoon you can explore on your own Covent Garden. You will find many shops and boutiques with typical English products. In the center you will find the market square, where you will be entertained by various street artists.

Day 5,  The journey back. After you have put your luggage on the bus, we again set sail to the Netherlands. On our route you will be able to have a dinner, after that you will be dropped off to your  pick-up point.

Sounds good right? The only thing I have to do is be ready on the 30th of December with my suitcase, and stand on the pick-up point where I will be picked up. The pick-up point is at the railway station in my city, that's a ten minute walk. I will have to be there at 6:20 am, that's all. The thing what made me have doubts was the money, and still I have a bit doubts, lol. Can I really afford this trip? It's quit a sum of money. Yes I can! But still, just to be sure I will be saving money for this trip. 

This journey has two min points though, (Oh Sjon! lol) I didn't see the 'including free lunches and dinners,' in the five days, so yeah, a extra sum of money I will have to take with me. Second, I will be leaving on the 30th December and will return on the 3th of January, my job gives me two weeks vacation with Christmas and New Years. On the 2th of January I will start again with work, but I will be still in London then. I will have to ask for prolly two days off.  I hope there willing to give me the two days off, I will ask them next week. Further I will be fine, I look forward to the trip, only I will have to loosen the worries more. 

Back to this Friday, I'm not gonna say that the weather was awesome again with sunshine and way to high tempature for this time of year, and that this awesome weather will be staying for a week. My counselor visited me and I told him about my trip, I didn't booked the trip then yet, I needed my counselor to say, 'Yes Sjon, go for it, your fine with the money!" And he did. My counselor will come less now, he wont be visiting me once a week anymore. The traject with my counselor and me are in three phases, I ended phase one, and started with phase two. My counselor will be a bit on the background now ans watch me from a distance how I'm doing.


He told me that I already did alot of things by myself, I accomplished alot with just a little help from my counselor, he gave me a few directions and I went to them. I don't have to worry about anything, everything is fine. Talking about worries, Saf and I are now nagotiating about my belongings, finally. You can say I was quit worried about this, but now it finally started. Unexpected I got a nice mail from her, she asked me how I was doing and how it was now living in my new house, etc, etc. In the end she asked me how my thoughts were now about my belongings, cause she was ready to ship them. Still were willing to split the price of the shipping, but were looking for a solution to lessen the money. The unexpected mail did me aswell good, it was nice of her to think of me when she's self busy with other important things, bless her.


I told her friendly that I didn't want the records, singles, cd's and dvd's back, she can sell them or give them away. I don't have equipment anymore to play all this music or watch the dvd's, I will have to sell then everything if  all that will be send my way. Further the other stuff can be send my way IF the price is then still to much I willleave everything in Canada, if Saf agrees with it. And you know what? I don't mind. First, irt isn't that much further what will be shipped beseides the records, and second, I want to close this nagotiation as soon as possible cause it gives me a akward and scary feeling, and there's no reason to it, but still.  I like how it's going now between Saf and me, so now and then a mail asking each other how it goes, no hatred, no issues or argues, just peace. I like that.


One thing I'm proud of was...  I was quit nerves about writing Saf back about the shipping, but felt a relief after when the writing was done. I did a good job with the writing, I manned up, and wasn't nervous, I told what I needed and wanted in a nice way, I did a good job!

Weekend!!

Weekend!! 

Time for the weekend!! No plans for the weekend though, I will just see what the following days will bring me. Tomorrow my counselor will come for my weekly counseling, let's see what he has now on his liver, lol. I did my homework, one of the things I had to do was making a sociagram. A sociagram is about yourself and the 'ones' who stands close to you. Draw a circkel, and draw yourself in the middle of the circle. Then draw the persons who you want with you  in that circlel, but they have to be drawn on a certain distance from you. Who will you draw next to you are the closest to you? It could be your parents or your friend of niece for example. And who do you want a bit further from you or out of the circel? It sounds easy but it ain't. 

I finnished it today, it suprises me I had drawn  alot of people but most of them are to far from me to reach them in that circel. My Mom and Dad are the closest and outside or close to the circle stands my Family, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, ect, ect, I really have nothing with my Family over the last five or six years. I'm really okay with that, it has always been that way. They live there lives and I live mine. When I got back from Canada, they weren't there, when I needed help in Canada to return with nothing they weren't there. Yeah, only one Aunt and Uncle, bless them. They have always been there when help was needed, for example with my Dad or me, but when I needed help while I was in Canada and needed to return to Holland it was though to get help from them. 


They just didn't wanted to understand why I went to Canada and why I needed to return. I sent them so many messages, I called even a few times, and then finally at last they helped me out, not enough, but okay every help was welcome. Now that I'm back they message me every week asking me how it goes, I reply to them whenever I feel too. Just like they did while I was in Canada, I accomplished alot by myself and that feels 'damn' good. Anyway... One with today, I'm waiting for the Winter actually but it seems the Dutch weather wont give in. 18 degrees today, here and there a bit grey clouds, but warm. Outstanding weather, I tell you. Work went well today, I worked a half day. Within one week I will have to work one whole day more. 


I think the Thursday is perfect for a whole day to work, Don't ask me why but I just have that feeling. Monday a half day, Tuesday a whole day then Wednesday a day off, and Thursday a whole day, sounds good. I had a little accident aswell at work, oh well, while working such things can always happen. I cutted myself with a utility knife, Ouch! I worked almost two hours with that knife and nothing bad happend, then when I wanted to clean up cause I was done with my duty, grabbed the knife to put it away and grabbed in the knife instead of the handgrip. Just a cut but ouch, 3 or 4 bandages fixed the wound. Just my luck that the cut didn't went deeper.

"For fast-acting relief try slowing down."

"For fast-acting relief try slowing down."

And I acomplished today with slowing down, just taking it easy on this well deserved day off, nothing hasty and taking my time. Although I felt a sore troath, I think there's a cold comming up again, it's the second time in one month. I wonder I will get a mail from my new Doctor soon, telling me I can pick up my influenza vaccine. When I still lived in Nijverdal (Before I went to Canada) I got a mail every once a year in October from my Doctor, telling me I could pick the vaccine. Ofcource I wasn't the only one who get a mail like that, every citizen who are in the so called 'risk group' gets them. In the 'risk group' are eldery people and people with a chronicle disease, such people have a higher risk for the flue. We can get the vaccin for free. Usually I get the mail late October, I will ask for information on my next day off. Everything is still new for me with my new Doctor.  


I have been searching today again trough the internet for Christmas trips or New years eve' trips. With succes, I only have to hit the 'confirm' button, but I still have some little doubts, I think when my counselor will come upcomming Friday I will ask him for an opinion. What gives me doubts is money, I don't think it's that much money, but still. I have two options to go out this coming New year. One: I can go to Berlin, that is a five day excursion trip. In these five days I will visit historical buildings and musea with a group of people, on New years eve,' the group will be celebrathing this event on a special place. Sounds like great fun, what I like about it is the traveling (I never been to Berlin) and seeing the musea and the huge buildings, plus I'm being amung people, plus a great place to celebrate New years eve'. And that all just under 350 Euro. 


Second: I can go to London aswell, also five days, and you can compare it with the trip to Berlin. Historical buildings, musea and New years eve', on special place. I have been in London before, twice actually. But never on a excursion trip though, sounds like great fun. This trip is cheaper then the trip to Berlin. Ofcource I will have to bring some extra money. These trips sound so easy, I will be picked up with a touring bus from the railway station in my city. The railway station is a five minute walk from my house. When the trip ends I will be delivered back on the same station. Only the money, can I handle it? Can I miss the money?  I think I can, but still. I need someone who will say, "Yeah, you can, go for it!" 

There are a few other cities or countries where I can go too for the same price, but London and Berlin are for me the eye catchers. I think I should just go. I don't like staying home with new years eve,' Christmas I will be fine. To be honest I think I will be fine the whole Christmas and New years, but I'm sure it wont be the same as last year in Canada, you know why. I told myself that I will be searching for some events on New years or Christmas, and if I will find something I will prolly go for it, but if I don't find something that's okay then too. No pressure while searching for events, no thinking to myself, "I have to go!" That doesn't work. Alright! Time for a tea I think, I already had a coffee today, a free coffee actually. The garden centre was serving free coffee with a apfel strudel, apfel strudel is a German apple cake. Tasted good!

"Looking forward to tomorrow.............. A day off."

"Looking forward to tomorrow............ A day off." 

My first whole day at my new job, I had a slow start and a exhausted ending. Work went well but a whole day was tyring, although I must say the second half of the day went pretty fast. The mornings are long, from 7:30 till 12:30 is long even though we have a little break from 9:30 till 9:45. In the afternoon we have a little break aswell, from 2:45 till 3:00. Then at 4:10 it's time to clean up our stuff and then it's towards home at 4:30. I was exhausted and had muscle pain, the upcomming 'day off' is well deserved and needed.

When I will be fully hired for this job there will have to be some changes with me, I will have to take it easy more , aswell with the things I do while working. Sometimes I get to enthusiastic and then I work to fast with result that I'm out of breath and tired. Sleeping  a bit longer in the morning is a good idea too, I don't have to get up at 4:00 am or 4:15 am. I like getting up early though, I don't know why.Sometimes when I wake up at 4:00 I'm nerves I will oversleep myself and I will have to haste to get on time for work, dislike. Maybe a alarmclock will help.

Even though the work can be sometimes heavy and though I like the work aswell. My Boss told me today that he was happy with me, "You pick up things quit easy and you do your duties well, from my part you can stay," he said. With 'picking up things quit easy, 'he meant that if someone explain me something I get it quit easy. That suprises me though, in the past I always answered 'yes,' but actually meant no if someone would would ask me 'do you understand?' LOL. I have learned that if you don't understand something it's okay to ask or tell that you don't understand. Communicate! I'm doing so well, lol! 


Happy Birthday to you! 


It's Saf's birthday today, I didn't sent her a gift or a card, although I thought of sending a card, but in the end I didn't. I thought it would be just to much after I sent all her five kids a present with there birthday, I don't know, I guess for her kids it's quit normal. But sent a present to your ex? Hmm, yes and no, I don't know. I sent her a giftcard trough e-mail. It gave me a good feeling that I did something. Happy Birthday Saf!! 


And now it's time to relax, flat on the couch, TV on, laptop on my lap. On the table a waffle with cheese and a nice cuppa tea with honey, easy to reach That's one of my favorite relaxing.
And tomorrow? I don't know, sleep out? Yes! I might go to the libary and borrow some books, just to have a peek there if they have nice books. I don't have a free membership for nothing, right?

One more thing. I went to work this morning with a rotten feeling a bit, I had these lonely feelings again, so akward that I don't have them now. The only thing I could think of this morning is that I would like to have a Family around me, akward cause I have so now and then many people around me, that should be enough. But it's different, yes I have so now and then people around me, but after that I will return home an empty home. That's why a Family would be nice, comming home from work and the kids come towards you screaming "Daddyyy!" I'm thinking out loud at the moment, sometimes these thoughts come like a flash and it sticks around untill my mind leads to something or somewhere else.

Trick or treat!

Trick or treat! 

Halloween is fun but not that fun around here, I truly liked Halloween back in Canada. Just like Christmas it's celebrated huge with decorations and lots of items. Only the trick or treat candy should be less a bit, gosh, it's so much what the kids are getting. I celebrated Halloween twice, the first time I was dressed as a Arabic living in Russia, or the other way around, lol. I had a huge Russisan fur hat on and  was wearing a Arabic dishdasha. Me and Saf were siting in the doorway waiting for the kids and there parents to ask for 'trick or treat.' It was fun, the second time with Halloween we went from door to door with Tasn and Ab. 

Saf and I had the plastic wagon with us, handy if the kids would get tired. I had to dress up in a cowsuit, lol. Ab was sometimes a bit scared but he was so cute going from door to door with his pillowcase full of candy. Tasn was almost to fast to follow, she had her pillowcase almost full with candy. Yeah good fun! Like I said,here in Holland we don't celebrate Halloween that much, almost no trick or treating or decorations. It's alright, although I miss it a bit the old traditons of celebrating Christmas or Halloween. It isn't like it was when I was still young.

This Monday was good, I could almost not catch my sleep last night, my 'old' neighbor who lives under me had her TV loud on. That lasted almost an hour, sigh! I really like that the clock went an hour forwards this weekend, when I left for work this morning  it wasn't that dark like last week. I love it! Work went good, I have good feelings about this job, although it's tough this job is a keeper. I don't think I wont find another Boss who will hire me for three whole days, I can price myself lucky with this job. I will give a 100%! Tomorrow will be my first whole day, Wednesday I will have a day off, then Thursday a half day again.

Finally I got me a livingroom table, yay! It was hard to find one tough but I got one now, so yay! I was struggling with the perfect size and the color of the table, I have been searching on secondhand selling sites, and finally I confirmed with a seller this morning. The seller brought me the table in the late afternoon, I'm happy with it. But! The little TV cabine has a different kinda color brown then the table, and that bothers me. They both don't match. Didn't I see that in the first place when I saw the table on the site? Yes, but, I didn't realize that didn't match. It's not that a problem, I'm sure one day I will bump into another TV cabine with the same matching colors. And the other TV cabine?I will sell it!