Let's make some mats...

Here's the video from yesterday, yesterday I failed trying to put it in my yesterday's post. But anyway, I succeeded now. While I'm writing this post it's raining pretty hard, it's quit nice hearing the raindrops banging on the windows and knowing I'm staying dry. I just got back from the free dinner, I was soken wet, and I was already wet before aI took of the the dinner. Tough the weather was so nice this morning when I went to my Dad. I took a few trains later, just to avoid my Aunt and Uncle. They told me that they would come too. I just wanted to have some private time with Dad, that's why I came later.

And thank God I did, cause another Uncle came aswell, more 'nag'nag.' I dislike it, I know how to handle my Dad, I know how to talk with him. When I arrived at Dad's place he was eating with everyone in the dinning room. Dad was sitting next to another guy, he's 90 years old he told me. He told me aswell that he gets good along with Dad, that was nice to hear. Dad was eating good I saw, one plate of potatoes with kale and a sausage, one haf plate of apple asauce, and last but not least a half plate of pudding. He can't hold his fork and knife like he use to does anymore, kinda sad to see, but it seems to doesn't mind to him.

After his dinner we talked for a while and we both kinda decided that it's okay that Dad is not going to my Aunt's birthday. Dad gave me some money for a nice bouquet of flowers for my Aunt's birthday, to send it to her, I will put some money in too. I changed a few things in Dad's room aswell, he still has three or four picture frames from Saf and me and from Saf's kids on his walls. it's been good but I will get them of my Dad's wall. Dad didn't mind, I filled up the wall again with some other picture frames and paintings, it's all good. My counselor came later in the afternoon, it was a bit the same ol,' same ol,' there is almost not much to do anymore.

I'm still working with him on my activities and socializing, and further I'm paying back my guilts what was left from my time in Canada. For example my care allowance, rent allowance, and a few things more. The paying back all goes automaticly, handy! Everything is going well, still I'm a bit anxious about my money, I'm keeping my wallet thight, just to get around with my money, it looks like more money goes then comes in. Saving it is a must, specially now.

Video fail!

Video fail!

I was about to post a video about me at work today but, Blogger seemed to be doing difficult towards me. It was a nice video seeing me at work and what I do and such, but no succes with the video. I will try it this week with You tube.. Today was just a day like yesterday, only I felt better, no thoughts and no feeling down moments. A nice productive day!

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will visit my Dad, let's see how it is with him. Last night my Aunt called, she told me that Dad perhaps goes to another section in the retirement home where he lives.  At that section he will get the double extra care what he needs, though there is a min point about this, at that section are mostly people who have a light mental retardation. This section is actually closed from the normal area in the retirement home as my Aunt told me, meaning,  there are other special trained nurses and doctors. My Aunt has to sign a few papers for placing my Dad there, but Aunt wanted to talk with me first, to hear what I had to say about this. 

Well, I know my Dad is somehow difficult and stubborn, and slightly demented. He feels very alone aswell, the nurses noticed. He has his activities though in the retirement home, they have a little chapel there, every Tuesday evening there praying  with a cardinal, Dad loves it! Once or twice in the month there's a bingo aswell, he goes there too. In my opinnion he has to have more activities, let him be surounded with people but not to much, just small groups. I know my Dad, I know his caracter and behaviour. I know slightly what he needs. Though he's very stubborn to try other activities, people will sometimes have to do it his way. He can be rough aswell. 

Though I still say he needs more things to do, just small things in small groups, slowly and bit by bit. But if he says no then it stays a no. I have doubts that it's better for him to place him in that mental retardation section, he will see the saddest or perhaps heavy retarded people, and that won't do him good. It kinda worries me aswell, knowing my Dad he surely won't like it. Though I don't see my Dad that often anymore, the nurses who take care of him 24 hours a day know him so much better. So, I guess that perhaps the nurses didn't come up for nothing with the mental retardation section.  I just don't know, I told my Aunt to ask the nurses to just wait a month or a few weeks, and then see how Dad is doing. 

Everytime I see him, I don't see a difficult man, or a stubborn, rough man. Yeah, he's getting old and weak, but further, I don't know. I will see him tomorrow and perhaps the nurses aswell. My Aunt wanted to come aswell, she told my Dad that Sjon will come and talk with him about my other Aunt's birthday. My Aunt and I both decided that it's not a good idea that he goes to the birthday, it's to much and to hectic for him. I will have to convince him that, but I slightly did that already last week, Aunt was over-reacting towards Dad, like, "Sjon comes to talk with you about the birthday, so you better be prepaired!"  

Yeah I will slightly talk with him about it yes, but be prepaired? Lol, I'm not gonna attack him or eat him. I told my Aunt that I will come early in the morning, but I actually will come to Dad with lunch time, so I can have a little private time with him, without the nagging and over reacting talking from Aunt. I'm smart. It's gonna be a full day again, my counselor comes aswell in the late afternoon. But first a nice sleep in... 

"One more time and then I'm REALLY closing the page."

"One more time and then I'm REALLY closing the page." 

Yesterday was not really an okay day, Dad in the hospital, Saf's engagement, it sure wasn't my day. Such things makes you stronger they say, well I'm not really feeling stronger lately, perhaps 'that' will come. When I got back from a nice working day I opened for a little while my laptop before I was heading out again for the free dinner. Ofcource as first I open my Facebook page, to see what's new with my friends. After that I go to my old Facebook page to see what's new with the two Daughters from Saf, Mar and Noor, there the only one who I still can follow. Just to see what's new with them, just like I do with my other Facebook friends. No stalking or commenting like a freak, I just tread them as normal Facebook friends. I spent time with them, I  still care about them, nothing wrong with that, right? Sure, I see sometimes things that hurts me or  slightly hits me. But I can handle it much better now.

To be honest, I shouldn't even be friends with Mar and Noor, itt's not good for me and it slows down my proces, I should stop with the contact that's the best for moving on, it's better for my healing. The 'no contact' what I did in the beginning after the break up helped me alot, I deleted the whole Family, just to heal myself, and it really helped! Though after four months I added Noor and Mar back, why? I was feeling better, and felt that I could handle it, and I was right. Yesterday with Saf's engagement I felt a bit down, but today I was doing much better. What can I do about it? I don't even want too! My feelings for Saf are left behind in Canada, December 2010. Today I saw a comment from Mar somewhere, she announced that she's very happy with her new Stephdad, she's happy with her new Family. Mar wrote aswell about the man who her Mom dated before the old Stephdad, me. 

"Mother was with a man who had no children and nothing in common with mother, not to mention hatred from me. It was so horrible that deep down I wished he would leave. and never come back. Well believe it or not, he left. And is never coming back." I know that Mar is still young and prolly doesn't understood the break up, but this felt bad towards me. I stood 24 hours a day ready for them, giving everyday a 100%, I tried and tried and tried. I know I sometimes failed in being a Stephdad or Husband. No I wasn't a Father before, and no I wasn't a Husband before, but hey, in my eyes I did a hell of a job! By the way, I came from Holland and had nothing in Canada, no passport, no work, no usurance, no licince, it would have been a bit eassier if I had that aswell, right? I said it before, the 'failing' feels heavy on my chest. And THAT'S  all what's still hurting so now and then. That's all!

Just like I just said, "I shouldn't even follow 'them' anymore," I was thinking this already a few months ago. I'm going to close the book, 'Canada,' slowly. I'm just done with Saf and her Family now, not that I'm angry with them, but just that I want to continue further, just like 'they 'do in there lifes. I'm doing well, I'm moving on, achieved many things and accomplished many things. I would like to continue that, I can't keep talking about Saf and her kids or write about them all my life. I will get over Mar's comment, it's just another hill I have to get over, and I will. I de-activated my old Facebook profile, 'Sjon Veldhuis.' I had Mar and Noor as friends on that account, though I still have Noor on my other account, I'm not sure. So yeah, I'm done, I'm closing the book, 'Canada,' it was a good book. It was fun, learned alot, here and there hectic and dramatic, with a few tears. 

But lots of laughs and love aswell, I'm closing the book, but wont throw it away. I will keep the book as good memory in my closet. Maybe, just maybe I will have a peek one day in that book again. But that will be far, far, far away.

P.s. I had a great day at work, work went well. No mistakes, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed working with my second Boss. We will be working the whole week together, I'm looking forward to it. My Dad's alright so I heard from my Aunt, still he has his cry moments, he's feeling lonely. Wednesday I will have time for him and will visit him then. Perhaps a gift will do him good.

"Dad's in the hospital."

"Dad's in the hospital."

I recieved a phonecall this morning just before 9:00 am, I looked on my cellphone and saw it was my Aunt. I didn't answer her cause I wasn't in the mood for my Aunt, 'nagging,' though my thoughts changed cause 9:00 am is pretty early to call for my Aunt, something could have happened with Dad. "Should I call her back?" Were my thoughts for a while. It's prolly about if I visited Dad already. Aunt called back after ten minutes, I grabbed the cellphone and answered her. Aunt told me that Dad was in the hospital, cause he took to many medication in the middle of the night. A ambulance took him at 4:00 am to the hospital here in my city. Though my Aunt told me that Dad was alright and that he will be prolly brought back by the hospital today. I felt relieved that Dad was alright, though I told my Aunt that I will visit him right away. The hospital isn't that far away from my house, prolly about 15 minutes. 

I putted some clothes on and took off, I didn't had breakfast and I didn't had a wash up, it was alright. The hospital was further away then I thought it was, it was pretty much of a ride. There recently are renovating the hospital area there, so I had to search first fot the main-entrance. Ofcourcer I took the wrong door first, after that I took the right door and went right away to the info-desk and told the lady who I was and that they brought my Dad  here last night, I needed a room number. Dad layed on the first floor on room number 3.1, I took the elevator and woundered around first... looking for number 3.1. All doors were closed and I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, maybe it's not even visiting time." The hospital have special visiting hours. I asked a nurse if she could help me with room number 3.1, she brought me to the room and she told me to use the doorbell. 

I pushed the doorbell and a voice told me that I had to push the door, once I was in I had to go trough another door then I saw Dad laying on his bed. He wasn't alone, he layed there with four other patients. Seeing Dad laying on his bed wasn't a pleasure, it brought back lots of memories while he was being silly and stubborn in the past. When 'Mom' passed away Dad was almost un-handable, stubborn, doing things he wasn't alowed to do. Or when he just needed attention he would just fake that he was short breathed and needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible. Just to get attention from nurses and doctors, they took extra care of him, he liked that, he liked the attention. I think it brought back memories for him aswell being back here in the hospital, he had several cry moments, that wasn't much fun to see him like that. Crying made him short breathed aswell, it felt like he was feeling guilty, when he saw me. Guilty for what he did, taking the medication. 

I spoke to the nurse and asked him what has been going on with Dad, the nurse told me not that much what has happened, just that he took to many medication. Further he told me that he was pretty okay, "A psychiatrist will visit him this afternoon and after that he can return to his staying." But that was a bit of a problem the nurse told me, if it's okay with the psychiatrist Dad can go with a normal car to where he stays, if it's not okay then he will need a special taxi or again a ambulance to bring him back. That special taxi or ambulance will cost a small 1000 Euro, just because Dad isn't in emergency anymore. It reminded me of the time that I had to take Dad to a psychiatric hospital one day, no one of our Family could bring him, so we had to go with a taxi, cost: 80 Euro, one ride. It's crazy, I know.

I stayed for a small two hours at his bed, it's sure wasn't a pleasure being in a hospital, it makes you realize of how fragile people can be, and that just anything can happen to anyone. Diseases, broken bones, accidents. Dad was laying next to a young guy who fell of his bicycle last night, his face was wounded and had several scarves on his arm, ouch, though he was full of jokes. Next to that guy layed a lady who had a liver disease, not a pleasure either to hear such stories. Dad couldn't catch up with the conversations, he has hearing problems and still had the the crying moments. The nurse told me he ated this morning, and I saw on the clock it was nearly lunch time for him. After two hours I spoke for the last time with the nurse about how further now with Dad, he told me again that the psychiatrist will come in the afternoon, and then he may return home, with a car or the special taxi or ambulance. 

The nurse will aswell get contact with Dad's staying, to inform them. I said goodbye to Dad and returned home to inform my Aunt and make my breakfast, a shower is needed aswell, but that could wait.I didn't do much further the afternoon, I thought of Dad and looked most of the time on the clock. I took a nap aswell and was a lot on my laptop. Time flies being online, Thinking of Dad, made me worried a bit and I felt so now and then sad about the situation. I wondered how he could take the medicine, weren't the nurses at his staying not responsible for his medication? Cause that how it's always been, the nurses has the medication and when it's time for his medication then the nurse will give him that. It's been like that for years, always been. I can only guess what has happened and to be honest I don't have a clue. Maybe it was something innocent, but yeah, being sent to a hospital? That's serious.


I guess I will know more further in the day, prolly my Aunt will call in the evening Being online I noticed something that hitted me aswell, Saf is engaged, her new lover asked her to mary her at a karaoke gig last night. How did I notice? Well, that's pretty easy being on Facebook, mutual friends, lol. Sure it hits me, it's a natural automaticly reaction, I guess. Such is life, after our break up we both moved on in our life, both seperath ways. I thought to myself last year that a engagement always can happen with exes, though thinking 'that' it always comes as a suprise, or should I say shock? Naah, suprise. It's fine with me, I only hope that Saf doesn't ask me for money again, cause a wedding is quit expensive these days. Oh, hear me being sarcastic! I wish her the best, and I mean that. I don't have feelings anymore for her for a long time, to be honest, before the break up I knew already that this 'break up' would happen one day. The love was gone by her. 

Why did the engagement hit me then? Just like I said,a  naturual or automaticly reaction. It gave me a bit of a unfair feeling aswell, I have been engaged too with Saf. I still could have been there taking care of the kids, spending time with Saf. I feel like I have failed, failed in being a Father and Husband, yeah failed is the good answer. The 'failed' feeling hurts sometimes when I see the kids or Saf on Facebook, but much less then late's say last year. That's why this engagement hitted me aswell here and there, and specially on this day while Dad's in the hospital. It makes me fragile and then it's easy that it breaks me. Oh well, I can see it aswell as just a bump in the road, the road that I take towards my goals. I guess 'this' will make me stronger too. 

Just had a phonecall from my Aunt, Dad is back in his own room, all is well. The Ambulance brought him back home around 1:30 pm, still we don't know how he got the medication last night. And yes, he has a medice cabinet on the wall in his room, sigh! Though the medication what he has in that cabinet are innocent medications, paracetamol, bandage and more stuff like that. He takes the paracetamol whenever he feels hectic or uncalm. Every night a nurse comes to Dad to see if he's alright, just like last night. Last night he wasn't feeling well, the nurse saw and noticed it too and called the Doctor. The Doctor called a ambulance to take Dad to the hospital, I hope the nurses at Dad's place take action about the medicine at his room. He shouldn't be alowed to take medicine just like that, he was still emotional my Aunt told me. I hope Dad learned his lesson today, a hospital isn't a nice place to be. Home sweet home Dad, I love you!

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. 

Did I do something pointless today? Ermm, hmm, not really, oh wait, yeah I spent two hours at the 'radio.' I couldn't do my job cause other radio workers updated the site dramaticly, I will have to get s new password and someone has to explain me how the new site works, so aia can do my job properly. All that takes time, and this afternoon they had not enought time. There weren't much people, not as much as ussual. There was a dj and a technician, and that was it. I sat beside the technician for about two hours, just to keep him company. 

It's been a while since I saw a technician at work, while seeing him I remembered that I sat there too for a little while. It reminded me strongly that being a technician is not my thing, it's sure not anymore like it was in the old days. The technnology has changed alot, it's all computers and... I can't even pronounce  what. for example in the radio studio, so many buttons and so much computer language, it's insane. I feel like I'm way behind if it comes to the latest technology and new gadgets, for example give me a cellphone and I already go, 'woot!?' 'what buttons do I need to dial a number?' It's crazy. 

I went out today for a little whilein the morning aswell, I brought back one package of the square vinyls I used for my storage room, cause I had one package over. I could return only a whole package and would get my money back. So I did that, plus I have been hunting for cheap working clothes, but doubts made me decide not to. Though I could use some new working clothes, the jeans and hoodie I have are full of glew stains and dirt. And  warmer weather is comming, so I can't wear my hoodie anymore. But damn, the clothes I saw are to expensive for work, I wish we had a decent second hand store with clothing. 

I almost bought a black hoodie this morning, this hoodie was a bit thinner then the one I already had. The hoodie was 15 Euro, but I didn't buy it, I will wait for 'on sale' clothing. I will get a sweater from work too IF they gonna hire, two sweaters and two polo-shirts, that's one of the reason I decided not to buy new working clothes. Oh well, I will wait untill I see some clothing on sale then. The clothing in my closet are a shame to wear to work, maybe a few jeans I could use, but that's it. I care for the clothing what I still have. 
Tonight's a birthday party night, let's see how that goes. Mark, A old resident from Humanitas celebrates his birthday in the Wonne, Wonne is the place where I get the free dinner on Monday night. I'm sure I wrote before in this blog about them. Akward situation, Mark's girlfriend Margaret lives at the Wonne, and Mark lives at Humanitas. Long story short, Humanitas banned Margaret from Humanitas cause she did something what was against the rule. There's so much to tell about these two people, it's to much to write it all down, I would need another blog for that.

This couple has so many guilts, they lived almost all there time being together in shelters or with other family, and if you know them well, you know that 'that' will never change. There nice people but...hmm.. They are used to live in shelters and that gives a bit of abnormal vibe over them, sure you can trust them in a certain way, but keep an eye open. I spent time with them during Humanitas, great time! I spent time with them on Reha too, and now I see them only with the free dinners. I don't see them as close friends but just friends. Friends who I so now and then see or speak, but surely not everyday, I would like to keep it that way.

Tomorrow I will tell how the birthday was... plus perhaps pictures.

What a gorgeous weather!

What a gorgeous weather! 

A bit of a grey start but then the sun came in, it felt good to be outside, less warm clothing and no gloves or winterhat. I had a good sleep, and took my time this morning. I wrote a e-mail to the vollunteers agency for the vacancy I wanted, I will wait for the response. The vacancy involves a 23 year old woman who's determined to learn the Dutch language, she goes already to school to learn, but she's searching for someone who can help her during the weekend or in the evening. I'm pretty excited about it, and I hope for a positive response.

I think I'm pretty good at the moment when it comes to things to do and socializing, during the week there's work and the free dinners, Saturday's or Sunday's there the radio work, and hopefully there will come a response from the vollunteers agency. Yeah, my schedule is full, I need sometime for myself aswell, and I think the Sunday is a pretty good day for that. Sunday's I will rest and do the last things I need to do or want to do, a nice relaxing day all for myself before another full week. I was looking for things to do and to have more people around me, sociallizing, talking, having fun, but I need for sure aswell a 'me' time, rest is needed aswell.

Though I keep looking around for other or more vollunteer work, cause you never know right? Perhaps a even better job comes along, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the first vacancy. Today I almost finnished the storage room, that was alot off work.  I didn't put carpet or laminate in ther storage but vinyl, the vinyl I bought didn't came in one piece when I bought but in litlle squares. These little vinyl squares worked like stickers, remove the paper  and add them on the floor, easy as that, lol. Fun work to do and the storage room looks already so much better, bigger aswell. Still I need to paint a bit and get some nice colored crats to put some stuff in, like tools or whatever. 

Almost done, it's almost like a puzzle...

Though it ain't a easy puzzle...

Something akward aswell today, while I walked to the 'shared shed' to get my bicycle I put the key in the door and the key fits, just like always, But, I couldn't turn the key left or right, I tried another key, but the same thing, no movement. So weird! It's the same shed, same door and the same key I have been using since August last yearl. I have to go around the flat now to get in the shed to get my bicycle. What's going on? What has happened? Did they change the lock? I really don't have a clue. I will keep an eye open or perhaps inform the living corporation. If they changed the lock I need a new key aswell, right?

"3 days off."

"3 days off."
A nice day at work, it's a nice feeling when you busy and the time flies. It's a nice feeling aswell when you know what to do, that you just do thing you need to do and that it goes so eassily. I really like my work, yeah I think I said 'that' already a million times. But it is like that. Though the last hour I was a bit down, I felt tired and thought to myself, "Though I like this work, but I must be crazy to do all this for nothing," How long shall I wait? How long will this 'working for free' go on? All questions where I have no answer on. Maybe I should give myself or my Boss a ultimate, like 'I will wait untill 1 April, if I still don't have results I will be gone.' Damn, I can't keep working without getting money, before I know it will be October and have worked a year for free, insane!

My fellow workers are complaining aswell about our Boss, one fellow worker told me again today, "I think they keep you on a line." I'm starting to think the same. In January my Boss and I had a conversation, results: There wasn't enough work to hire me, though I could stay, cause maybe more work will come. In February again a conversation, results: Still not enough work, they had doubts of hiring me, they weren't sure yet. Though I could stay, perhaps more work will come. There wasn't a next conversation in March, my Boss told me that she would let me know as soon as possible if they gonna hire me. It's 1 March now and I'm still working for free, still no results. There is work enough, and more work is on the way. I don't get it, or do I?

I know there's  a major money crisis in Holland, so it's sure not easy to get a job at the moment, and it will get worser this money-crisis. Today in the news...

"Dutch 2013 budget deficit at 4.5 percent."

The cabinet must implement at least nine billion euros’ worth of additional cuts to avoid exceeding the compulsory European Union maximum budget deficit of three percent of GDP in 2013.

The Netherlands Bureau for Economic Policy Analysis (CPB) predicts that without additional cuts the country faces a 4.5 percent deficit, about 28 billion euros, in 2013. CPB predicts a budget deficit of 4.1 percent in 2014 and 3.3 percent in 2015.

This will feel everyone in there wallet, I can assure you that. economize, economize and economize. Saving money as crazy, shorten in our income, shorten in almost everything. That is why (I think) my Boss is not hiring me, I'm to expensive in this 'money-crisis' time. Economize, lol, I did it almost whole my life, I don't know else, so what should I do? Just continue my economized life? Perhaps skip the summer vacation, or... I don't know. Though the news today about the money-crisis makes me angry, why? Economize? Let them start with the rich people with there top salaries, and not like always the poor people. Our cabinet has been spending money like crazy usually on un-usefull things, changing highways into racetracks, (900 million) sending soldiers to Afghanistan, (500 million) ect, ect. 

This whole crisis is just un-fair. Saving money? Okay, let our cabinet start with saving money on there expensive trip, there expensive, dinners, there expensive hotel visits. It's kinda logical that the purchasing power decreases. cause people have no money to spend. It's always been like this in Holland, poor people get always the first hit when it comes to economize. But anyway we will see what happens. I just had a message back from my Reha-counselor, I mailed her to ask her what she thinks of my situation at work. She told me she was in the middle of a moving and she's about to have a short vacation, she will get contact with my Boss on the 12th of March. I repied to her and told her that that was okay with me, 12 March is fine. 

I really hope that I will get results then, cause I surely can't keep on working for free. I'm looking forward for the three days off, not much has been planned though, only on Sarturday there's the radio and in the evening I will have a birthday party from a old resident from Humanitas, fun! Some more old residents have been invited aswell, I'm excited!

"Can you explain me that? No."

"Can you explain me that? No." 

That was a akward and uncomfortable moment at the vollunteers agency. This morning I have been searching for vacansies on the site from the vollunteers agency, and it was quit a list, wow. So much to do, mostly it were vacansies what involved eldery people, disabled people or little kids. I had doubts of being a vollunteer for eldery and disabled people, I don't know, I think I just can't carry that. They were asking for example, doing groceries with a disabled man or woman, or helping out with activities for eldery people, like a bingo, or a dinner, ect cetera , ect cetera. I guess I'm to worried that something will happen while I'm doing my job, like, if a older or disabled person would suddenly faint, ot burst out in tears, ect, ect. I can assure you that I wouldn't know how to handle then or how to act.

Then there were the vacansies with the kids, here they were asking for example to help out in a school with the lunch breaks, (keep an eye on the kids, from age 5 till 12). Or help out to keep an eye on toddlers in a kindergarten where the mothers have a meeting once a week. All I have to do is watch them play and perhaps help them with playing. That was perfect for me, I thought! But there were several doubts aswell. I actually don't know what to expect, and that worried me. Aswell I don't know if these mothers expect a man to help out or better accept a man. At the appointment at the vollunteers agency I had to show the lady what I came up with while searching for vollunteers work, it was my second appointment so the lady knew me already.

I showed her the vacansies where I have been searching for this morning, and I explained why I came up with 'these' vacansies. The lady understood and agreed with me that the eldery and disabled people was to heavy for me. I tried to explain her aswell why I came up with the 'kids vacansies, ' that wasn't easy. The lady knows about my time in  'Canada,' (cause I told her that in my first appointment) and she knows aswell I took care of the kids during my time in Canada. I continued my explaining with ,"I just liked taking care of them then, being around them, being a Dad, it gave me a good feeling although it was sometimes tough, my reward was that the kids gave me attention what I liked alot." The lady wanted to know more, for example what kinda attention the kids gave me and why I liked it. I couldn't explain it, I went blank and told her that I couldn't bring it out in words, and that it was difficult to explain 

I just liked the attention, the attention felt like a reward... uhmm, yeah, I don't know... I was thinking that the lady might find it weird or kinda suspicious why I came up with the 'kids vacansies.' Cause usually those vacansies are for women and not for men, or am I wrong? Why suspicious?  Well, because of abuse, child abuse there I said it! It's almost logical that people think of child abuse  if  a man wants to vollunteer for work with kids. That's one of the reasons why I was worried while I saw the vacansies for working with kids. I don't want people think I'm a child abuser cause I'm NOT! 'I just like them around, I like taking care of them,' just saying 'that' gives already a akward touch. Like, 'Why you like them around you?' or 'Why you like to take care of them?' And 'that' I can't explain, do I have to? Perhaps it's my age, I'm over 40, lol, Father-feelings-hormones? 

 I never took care of kids, and I never had them around me when I lived on my own, well never? Ofcource I had kids sometimes around me, kids from neighbors, nieces, nephews, ect, ect. But parenting? No. In Canada I had kids around me 24 hours a day, and I loved it! It went quit easy aswell, I was amazed about that. I can easily say that I spent more time with Saf's kids then I did with Saf. Do I like to work with kids now because I miss the kids from Canada? Is it to fill that emptiness what I still feel a bit? Uhmm, no, well, perhaps a little part. Taking care of Saf's kids went easy and I was amazed that it went that easy, I really liked it. Perhaps I want that 'like' or 'amazed' feeling back. And that's it. There's so many child abuse in the news the last 6 or 7 years, it's on the news, on TV, newspapers, it's terrible! Ofcource people get suspicious then, I do understand that. But again, that's NOT my thing!

The lady understood me, and explained that it was better to search for something else first, "I can see your still have doubts, and I can see your still a bit worried about what to expect if it becomes to child vacansies.," she told me. I choosed another job, I'm gonna react on a vacancy what involves a woman who wants to learn the Dutch language, she's 51 years old, and she's very excited to learn our language. This woman lives in Almelo (city where I live)  and already goes to a school to learn the languagel. She's looking for someone who can help her more and more when she has free from school, like during the weekend or in the weektime inthe evening. When I saw this I thought, "Okay, that's seems easy." Not complicated, not much to expect, no kids, nothing to convince or explain and no worries, just a woman who wants to learn my language, perfect for a first vollunteers job, right?  

I have to inform the woman's contact person who placed the vacancy, I will e-mail the person, and will wait for a response. Feeling a bit 'eek' but aswell excited. I remembered I had that 'eek' feeling too with my job at Slettenhaar, and that went well, right? Aswell a 'eek' feeling with the radio, I think I solved that quit well too. So yeah, no worries for my next vacancy. Today was a misty day, thin rain and no sunshine. I liked the tempature, 7/8 degrees above zero, nice! I bought a kind of laminaat for my storage room today, it's perfect and so easy to place.  The laminaat came in little squares, (30x30cm) the bottom was glued, it worked like a kind of a sticker. Oh my explaining sometimes, LOL! This post took me almost 3 hours to write, lol. You know that feeling when you write a line and it doesn't really sounds so well in your eyes, and you keep thinking and searching for the right words so the line does sounds right? Ugh! 

P.s, I really hope you understood my writing in this post, plus understood my explaining. COMMENTS please!? Anyway, I would like to thank Wikipedia, Google translate and spellchecker for helping me writing this post! Thank, thank, thank you!  Time for a coffee...

Hmm, what to write today...

Hmm, what to write today... 

Just my thoughts right after dinner, I warmed up some left over pasta from last Sunday. I do that mostly, cooking dinner for twice on Sunday. Monday is the free dinner, so I'll skip my cooking. The days I cook are Friday, Saturday and Sunday. With the free dinners there's all kinds of food, Mondays are usually potato's with self made veggie salads, or just whatever. Sometimes we feel like guinea pigs, lol, cause the people who prepair the food always try something new, it always taste good though! Wednesdays and Thursdays it's usually pasta, rice or mash pot. All these dinners are prepaired by strongly Christian people, meaning, no cursing at the table, and specially on Monday, you have to be on time, and once your sitting at the table you can't leave the table unless were all done with eating. Aswell praying before and after dinner is a must on Monday's. Wednesdays and Thursdays is a bit looser, though, no cursing or bad language!

Last Monday we had potato's, salad and beans!

Work was good again, I love it! Though I made here and there a few little mistakes, I so dislike that. It's actually nothing, the second Boss says something about it, like, "You noticed you made a mistake? Next time I would like you to do it this way or that way." And... another lesson is learned, but, ugh, that failed feeling after I made a little mistake. I'm a 100% sure I won't make that mistake again. Sometimes I want to do my work fast. You know that feeling when you working nice and steady and everything is going so well? Like I'm thinking to myself, "Oh look at me go, wow, I'm sure I can go faster." I'm not actually paying enough attention then and hopefully then I don't screw up. Today I had a few monents just like that. I enjoy the work I do, and then I want to go faster and faster. I should lower it down more sometimes. my Boss said the same, "I like it much more when you take it slower and finnish ten mats, then when you finnish 20 mats fast with mistakes." I agree on that, but just that sometimes I can't help myself, lol, I call it over-enthusiasm.

Still no results from the staying or going, my second counselor (from Reha) is in the middle of a movement, so she will be busy for a little while. I saw my Boss often walking in our section today, I thought, "Oh, here she comes with the results," but no. I guess I will need a bit more patience when it comes to results. Tomorrow a day off, love it! Rest and do a few things here and there. Tomorrow I will have my second appointment with the vollunteers agency, at the end of my first appointment they asked me to look up for vollunteers work on the site they have. They have a site with all kinds of vollunteers work, all gathered in categories. I will have to write down some of the work the site offers, so that they can see what I actually have in mind with what kind of vollunteers work I want to do. Roll on Wednesday!

What a nice day at work!

What a nice day at work! 

Not many people at work, some were sick and some were having a day off. It was just me and my (second) Boss who were working togeher in the section where I work. I call my second Boss second Boss cause he's the one who gives orders in the section where the mats are being put together. Usually on that section are working three or four people, but now it was just me and Wouter, that's his name.  He told me what to do, and so I did, and it went so easy, no asking how or asking how many, I just did what he told me. Can I have this job for an eternity?

I love the work I do, I'm learning everyday, it's a tough job but if gives me a satisfied feeling aswell. The fellow workers are nice and accept me a 100%, I love it. This is the place where I want to work for ever. Though I'm still working there for nothing, there still testing me? I guess not, I perfectly succeeded the test. The reason is still that there's not enough work to hire me, and ofcource it's a money thing aswell, can they afford me? There still not sure yet. This comming Thursday it's a month ago that I had my last conversation with my Boss and my Reha counselor.

At the end of that conversation my Boss told me that a next conversation is not needed, she would inform me as soon as possible if I can stay or go. It's been a month now, and that's to long in my eyes. I sent a e-mail to my Reha counselor, telling her what I should do, or what 'we' should do. I will wait for her response, and in the meanwhile I will just continue my work, I'm not giving up. I already came so far, I learned already so much, it would be a pity to just say to my Boss, "Hey, I had it here, I'm off, it's taking me to long." I will finnish this, just as long untill I get a answer. But yeah, ofcource I can't stay to long and work for free.

Alright, comfy pants on, heater on ...just a bit, coffee is made! Time to chill and relax! Tomorrow another (working) day, yay!

"Don't let that lonely feeling get you."

"Don't let that lonely feeling get you." 

Just a lazy day, resting, watching flyers, listening to music and taking several naps. I question myself sometimes that if I'm not to much on the internet?" My answer is, "Yes and no," hmm, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm less on the internet then several years ago when I was still just living my life at home, with no relationship, no job and no vollunteers work. I had not many people around me, so yeah, the internet was much of a bless then. Ofcource I had a few friends where I went out with, but it wasn't that much. It's different now, though the relationship is over, I still have work, I do vollunteers work, I go out so now and then and I see old residents at the free dinner three times a week. 

When I count the hours I spent on the internet I can say yes, I spent to much time on the internet in my eyes. I have seen people who are daily on the internet, I can't do that, it would drive me nuts. Though I must say that the time flies when your on the net, when you think you spent an hour on the computer your already three hours further. I'm not that worried about it, I know I have a life next to 'being online,' and that's very important, otherwise you might get addicted. Though I get sometimes that lonely feeling, not that weird after being surounded with people for the last three years for almost 24 hours. (Canada/Humanitas) I can blame Facebook, it's nice and fun when I get some attention. 

But I shouldn't make it a habbit, a habbit searching for attention. I think it goes automaticly when I'm to much on Facebook, I'm aware of that. Ofcource I'm not going crazy when no one is commenting on my last status, ofcource I'm not going nuts when no one likes my last photo's, and ofcource I won't burst out in tears when someone is commenting more on other friends statuses then yours statuses. Though I get that lonely feeling sometimes. I don't know why, (Or do I?) that's for me a sign that I'm overwhelming myself with Facebook. Facebook is for fun and to enjoy yourself, to share and conmnect with your friends. Friends? Yes, friends, although we don't see each other, were sharing things.

I have a pretty amount of friends on Facebook, though most of them I never seen in my life or even met. Weird? Yeah, a bit. Are they really friends then? Yes, ermm, yes,  I call them long distance friends. Some of friends are not friends where you for example drink a coffee with daily, or go out with once a week, to bad! Maybe that's why it gives me that lonely feeling, I don't know. That kind of connection what we all need sometimes, we don't see each other eye to eye, no hugging or an arm around you or just a handshak. I don't know, it would be great that I could meet some of these friends one day, well, not all, otherwise I would be 90 and out of money when I would visit the last one, lol. 

I say, Facebook friends should meet one another, even if it was just for once. This afternoon I have been reading an article about how to recognize the signs of an addiction to Facebook, and interesting read. Here are the signs from that article...

You wake up and the first thing you do is "check Facebook". And it's the last thing you do at night.

My answer: Yes, that's me. In the morning a few hours before work, few hours? Eerm, okay one and a half hour then. And in the evening after dinner and dishes, three or four hours, I keep the Facebook page open while I'm surfing the net.

Nothing else thrills you or you feel "empty" without Facebook. All you want to do is spend time on Facebook, even to the exclusion of getting work done that needs to be done, or meeting family obligations. When not being on Facebook causes physical pain, sweats, illness and you're champing at the leash to get back on it, your obsession has become an unhealthy one.

My answer: Sure Facebook can thrill me, but when I have other work to do or have Family obligations, ect, I can shut it down. When I'm not on Facebook, well, then I'm not on Facebook. I don't get phycical pain nor sweaty hands or worser, if I would have that I would do something about it, lol.

You're not able to go for more than a day without using Facebook. If forced to do so, you find yourself suffering from Facebook "withdrawal" symptoms, such as finding nothing else interesting, trying to find ways to get back to Facebook even if it means using a computer that is either out of bounds (for example, not yours), or difficult to get to, or you find yourself intensely worried about missing out on Facebook updates. These are all very unhealthy signs.

My answer: I can spend days without Facebook, but I guess if it takes to long... I don't know. I think I would miss it, missing mostly the connection with long distance friends.  I think it depends on 'why' I'm not spending time on Facebook, for the same reason I'm doing something else what gives me much more satisfaction then Facebook. Though I think it's impossible to not be on Facebook, cause it's everywhere on every computer.

Even if you're not on Facebook constantly (indicating you need a reality check), checking it many times during the day is a sign of compulsive behavior. Spending more than an hour on Facebook a day will easily cut into all the other obligations you have in life and may cause social dysfunction problems.

My Answer: I could easily check on my days off many times Facebook, just to be updated, but I don't do that, and I don't want to do that. I'm mostly aware that I don't want to spend to long on the computer. Besides spending thirty minutes on Facebook is enough for me, read the updates, here and there a few statuses and comments, checking Cityville and done.

Your real life isn't going so well and Facebook presents a fantasy escape life where everything seems unencumbered, neat, happy, and easy all things that are the opposite of your everyday life.

My answer: Oh dear! LOL! Sometimes it is a fantasy escape or can be a fantasy escape, but I won't get to overwhelming with it, like I said, don't burst out in tears when your friends are not commenting on your last status, or get nuts when friends don't 'like' your last photo's.  It's important to have another life nest to Facebook, I have that, but I'm working on it to make it bigger then it already is.

Adequate sleep ceases to be important to you. Instead, you're prepared to stay up way too late just to be able to accommodate your Facebook neediness. After all, you excuse yourself, your friends might think it's remiss of you not to be around!

My Answer: I'm sure some people are facing this... I must admit that I was close to this aswell, not Facebook though, but with chatting on messengers. I had a friend where I spoke daily with, we were almost obsessed with it, one day I had a kind of a argue with that friend, I disliked the argue and I stayed awake thwe whole night. just staring at the ceiling. I learned alot from that time afterwards. The time when I chatted with her was five or six years ago, she was from Finland.

You have tons of friends on Facebook but you still feel very lonely.

My answer: Sometimes I do yes, but I guess it's not because of Facebook, I been trough a lonely time, I crawled up slowly bit by bit. I'm still not there but I'm on the good way. Sure Facebook can give me lonely feelings sometimes, but like I said I won't let it overwhelm me. 

You have faced the book, you have logged out. Dinner is ready the table is done, your hungry. 

My answer: Yesssssss! I'm starving! Oh look! Pasta and little meatballs!

Picture time!

 A small picture time! 

Not much to write this Saturday, it was almost like the same day as yesterday, a 'meh, meh' day. I took my rest in the morning, but had doubts to go back to the curtain store, the same store I went yesterday, the store where it was so busy. But I didn't go cause I nearly had to go to the 'radio.' There was another store who did sell curtains aswell, and it was close to the 'radio,' so, I went there. But no succes either, I really need some advice from the seller. This store I went to is not really a store where you I could ask for advice. Lol, I bought a dustbin, that was needed aswell, the bins had a good price, look nice. 

Lol, I was going there to perhaps buy curtains and I come home with a dustbin, hehe! What a hasty morning, I dropped almost everything, bumped my head while I washed my hair, tripped almost and nearly got hit by a car. Love such moments, the driver from the car didn't see me and drove to the right, I did too, but the driver took a sharper turn. With one hand on the stearing wheel and one hand holding a huge box whit a dustbin in it was quit easy but when a car driver doesn't see you... Radiowork went fine, just a bit boring, there were more people working there, that made it more fun, all though they were all youngsters, but okay. After five the radio show was over and I did my last groceries and headed home. 

You can tell that the Winter here is slowly fading away, it wasn't cold with 11 degrees and sunshine. Though it's still February, anything can happen, even in March we can get some snow. I drove around on my cycle after the radio and took some pictures... 

Chatolic churches in Almelo, there alot of them, I really should visit one of them one day.

Love these cruiser bikes, this one stood near the place where I always have the free dinners at the Wonne.

Rare city buildings in Almelo, now there being held as offices. 























Sunday is nearly there, it's gonna be a 'me' time, resting and flyers, I tons of flyers where I have to go trough. First a nice sleep in.

A 'meh, meh' day.

A 'meh, meh' day. 

This Friday was supposed to be a bit different, going to Ikea is not ussualy on my to do list during the Winter. There was the plan that I and two other persons were going to Ikea, the two other persons were old residents from Humanitas. But the Ikea trip has been chancelled, one of the residents has been called away, he recently works at a animal rescue. The two residents (Mark and Margaret) arrived nicely on time this morning, Mark told me that there was a chance that he could be called away. And yeah, not even ten minutes later he had a call. "I will be right back,' he told us. But no, Margaret and I waited more then two hours. Margaret took off towards Humanitas and I made lunch, oh well. I planned to buy or just look for curtains today while being at Ikea, but that has been chancelled. Not a problem, cause here in the city are aswell a few curtain stores, I took of to these stores after it stopped raining. 

The weather is surley not feeling like Winter, it's warm, 15 degrees and a bit of rain. The stores I went to had nice curtains, but I ussualy get stuck with the measures. Sure I did measured the wide and the lenght I needed, that was no problem. But the curtains in the store have all the same sizes, now I can let them made for me in the store but that's expensive. I looked around and around but couldn't decide cause of the mixed measures of the curtains, I needed 240 cm, that was kinda easy, (I think) still I wasn't sure. 
Then I needed a curtain rod but they were all to short, 280 cm was needed, the rod's were all 240 cm or shorter. I waited for a helper in the store but it was to busy, and there were no other helpers, oh well. Though I waited and looked around further and further, but after a small hour I took off. I'm searching for white cream colored curtains, I'm sure it will brighten up the rooms.

The groceries store was my next visit, it started to rain softly, but I was nearly on my way home, so that was alright. In the store it was quit busy for a friday, it was like people were following me and everytime I wanted to look to a item they jumped infront of me. So annoying, lol. One woman was calling on her cellphone, while I payed for my groceries she was still calling, ugh, what a 'meh' day. I was wet, but was glad I had the groceries inside when I arrived at home. Meatballs for dinner, geesh why was I so excited about the just bought meatballs? It was a while since I had them, these ones were ready mate, only three minutes in the microwave and done. I served beets and potatoes with it, and it was so yammy. Tomorrow the other meatball, I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it, LOL! 


Prins Friso... 
The radio in the morning anounced that there will be a press conference at 12:00 (noon) of the prognosis of Prins Friso. Out of the press conference came this sad news... 


Prins Friso suffered massive brain dammage after being burried by an avalanche for approximately 20 minutes and may never regain consciousness. The Doctors indicated that after being burried in the snow, the Prince's brain was oxygen-starved, wichn resulted in a heart attack. The Prince will be moved to a private clinic for further treatment, but it may take months, even years before he awakens. It is likely that Friso may never awaken, a bleak outlook for his Wife , his kids and the entire Dutch royal Family. Friso is in a coma, a state of unconsciousness in which a person cannot be awakened with external physical or auditory stimulation. There are different levels of unconsciousness and unresponsiveness depending on how much brain function there is. Doctors did not give further details of Friso's diagnosis.

While watching this conference I had a akward feeling, it surely does something to you this sad news. It hits you no matter what, it's sad to hear this news, it such an impact.  It might take months or years if the Prince will awake, my goodness, how on earth can his Family carry this for months or years? It's so heavy for them already, will he awake? My thoughts are that I just don't know, I say... no. It will be a miracle, I can assure you. Holland prays for his health.

Ikea tomorrow!

Ikea tomorrow! 

Yup, a few old residents from Humanitas  asked me to come with them to Ikea, they first asked me to come with them after the free dinner today, but I refused. I was tired and I had still my working clothes on. I told them, "Let's go tomorrow." That was fine too they replied, better, I say. These old residents are the only ones I know from Humanitas with a car, well, car? It's a very small car, and there's a lot of junk inside of it. The owner of the car doesn't surely take care of his little car, lol. It's not that a pleasure to ride with them in there vehicel, quit dangerous aswell, but anyway. I like going out with ol' residents, I spent time with them during my Humanitas adventure.

Some of the residents I still see during the week at the free dinners, it's nice, and the visits at my house what I actually was kinda afraid off is going okay. I was kinda worried that old residents would visit me daily or perhaps ask for a place to stay in my house. But that didn't happen, I had one or two coffee drinkers in the seven months I lived here from residents. So I guess that's alright, no oresident is going to stay in my house, no sleep overs or staying for a week or even a day. I can say 'no' easily, cause I just don't want it. When I do it once, then more residents will ask me.

Such a busy day at work, cutting, lifting glewing, cutting, lifting, glewing, ect, ect, and in the end cleaning. We had to make very tiny little mats, so tiny they easily fit in a woman's purse. We call them 'monsters,' we give them to the customers to let them see what kinda mats we make plus in what kinda colors they come. We added many colors carpet on the mats, brown, dark-yellow, dark-red, grey, and rubber aswell. It was a heck of a job to get them all done, tomorrow (on my day off) the other fellow workers will go further with this work.

Prins Friso. 

I think it was Sunday or Monday when I wrote about our Prins Friso and his terrible accident, not sure.

Prins Friso with his wife Mabel.

Prince Friso of the Netherlands, second son of queen Beatrix, is fighting for his life in an Austrian hospital after being hit by an avalanche while skiing. The prince, who was skiing off piste with three companions, spent at least 15 minutes under the snow, after a 30-metre wide avalanche swept him down the hillside.

Prince Friso's condition remains unchanged. The prince’s condition is stable but he is in a very critical condition, he is not out of danger. It is possible that the doctors will not be able to give a full prognosis until the end of this week. First they were telling us Monday, but now it's the end of the week. My thoughts? I still don't know, I do know that it's taking to long, I think that's a sign that the Prince won't make it sadly enough. Whole Holland is following the latest news about Prins Friso, and waiting in patient. I hope he gets trough this. I think next week or perhaps this weekend we will get a prognosis.

Wednesday!

Wednesday!

Today was a resting day, I cleaned a bit, went trough my mail plus some flyers. Gosh, so many flyers to go trough, I really need some curtains, but I'm worried about the money. I'm saving money for the upcomming fair, (actually no need to, cause it isn't that expensive, but anyway) and for sumnmer, cause I would like to go on a holiday. Where too? I don't know yet, I really would like to fly again, it's been to long. Plus it has to be a excursion trip, I love those! Sure there are excursion trip to America, but 'damn' excursions to America is alot of money. I could perhaps afford it but, it's so much money. I will have to save money big time, and after the trip I will have to save money again to come around, lol. So yeah, better not, America can wait a year or two years.

I have been thinking of Spain or Italy aswell, yes, it has to be a warm country and slightly far away. I like traveling far, so I will skip Belgium, Germany and France. It's quit fun searching for trips, I would like to have it all settled tip top!I can save money easily with my online banking account, it's an easy option. 

Still I have doubts, I don't know why. Me and my money issues, lol. Sometimes I get that nervous feeling when I log in into my bank account, nervous if I still have enough money to come around or nervous if my money is still there, lol. I should get over that feeling, online banking is so handy. The counselor visit was good as always, there was not much to do. We talked alot about everything and nothing. 


My counselor agreed with me that my work is taking to long to hire me, but he told me aswell that I came so far already, "Wait a little longer and perhaps within a month or maybe longer ask your Boss what's going on," he adviced. I will wait untill 1 March and then I will inform my Reha counselor, and ask her what to do, maybe we both can go to my Boss for a conversation. I worked long enough for free, it gives a nasty feeling, although I like the work alot. My counselor invited me aswell for a day out with the whole Humanitas staff, only the staff, not the residents. Akward? Yes, but nice aswell. On the 22th of March they go a day out to a kind of a concert. I felt honored, but I will have to ask free, cause the 22th is my working day. I will see. 

It's about time...

It's about time...

I have been working since October now at Slettenhaar, and I think it's about time that my Boss comes with results. I came home this afternoon after work and although I felt satisfied and tired, I was thinking aswell, "This tired feeling should be rewarded some day." It really is about time, I worked there for nothing long enough. This morning while working I had the same thoughts, I really should stop thinking then, otherwise the thoughts become negative, and will become worser and worser. Though the work was nice again today, like always. It was nice being back after having four days off.

Almost a month ago my Boss told me that she won't let me wait to long leaving me in doubts, yeah, that was a month ago. Some fellow workers were telling me today that the Boss might hold you on a line, but they weren't sure, I'm thinking the same sometimes, but, I think so many things sometimes. I just don't know, it's still fifty/fifty for me. It would be such a shame to leave this job jusy like that, I learned so many things there and I fit in a hundred procent. It's almost impossible to NOT give me a contract. I hope I soon I get some results, I think I will wait till March and then I will ask myself what's going on. 

I think I deserve an answer, right? Tomorrow's a day off again, my counselor will visit me again. He comes one time in two weeks. In the end of April he will be vanished. Then his job is done, he followed and helped me around where it was needed for six months. It's a normal procedure when someone comes from Humanitas and starts living on there own again, ofcource, cause it's all new, help is needed mostly then. Though it's not a must, people can aswell say no, I will be fine, to a counselor. I took all the help I could get when I left Humanitas. It was free so, why Not? And I could need some help, there was still some nerves to be on my own again, mostly 'financilly nerves,' lol.

I will be fine without a counselor, I'm not worried, I learned alot from him. I think I will buy him a little gift in April.

Stairway to Heaven -- Lissie

Strong voice and a very nice relaxing cover of Led Zeppelin's Stairway to heaven.

Birdy - People Help The People.

So young, and so talented! I lover her voice!

Sjon-shinny day!

Sjon-shinny day!

The sun is so warm, it feels almost like spring, though it's akward with a little bit snow on the ground. A nice day off, around nine I took off to my Dad. When I got out of the train and walked towards my Dad's place I bought a few cards first, I'm gonna send a few cards like I said yesterday. The cards I bought are looking nice, I couldn't wait to post them. But first to my Dad, I will write the cards there and on my way back I will post them. One card is for my counselor like I said yesterday and the other one is a suprise. Dad was smilling when I came in, I like seeing that. He had a few jokes and talked a few times. Although he looks old, he sure can have a good time aswell.

We slightly talked about my (other) Aunt's birthday, I was kinda nervous to talk about that with him. If it was for me I would so like it that he decides not to go go, cause he won't have the energy for it. But telling him that he might get dissapointed. So, I slightly talked about it with him. I will inform my (other) Aunt about this and see what she thinks about it. The birthday is on the 14th of April, so I have time. I talked for a bit to Dad's nurse aswell, I told her that Dad's getting old. The nurse replied, "Yeah, he's going backwards with his health." Though he's looking swell, I like his smile when I walk in. The nurse told me that it seems that he only lives for me at the moment.

I slightly agreed with her, but didn't say it out loud. The nurse pointed at that, that my Dad really me. That was nice to hear, I answered that I wish I could visit him more often, but I'm so busy with other things aswell, and it seems that only a few people understand that. That's sometimes tough. I discussed aswell with the nurse that if it was possible that my Dad just for once came visiting me, he will need a wheelchair and a special taxi. "He would really love that," said the nurse. He doesn't even have to walk, he will get in the wheelchair and stay in the wheelchair, in my small flat we have elevators, so no problem I guess, I will think about it and try to arrange that. Would be great! 

Further on this day I rested a bit, took a nap, ironed my working clothes and prepaired my lunch for work. Looking forward for tomorrow's work, a day off is nice, but to many days of isn't. I missed work, I think it's quit normal after having four days off. It's gonna be a cold night, in the end of the week the tempature will rise. Fifteen degrees above zero, hello or goodbye winter? Perhaps it's going to be a early Spring.

"Prince Friso of the Netherlands in critical condition."

                          "Prince Friso of the Netherlands in critical condition."

The Dutch prince Johan Friso had an accident last Friday in Austria, he was buried under an avalanche. After about twenty minutes they could pull him out and  he was transported to the University Hospital of Innsbruck.  Friso is in critical condition. Friso was accompanied by three other people. He skied in that region despite an avalanche danger of 4 on the scale of 5. His wife, Mabel Wisse Smit and his two daughters were not there. The three who were with him were not buried. The latest reports his condition is "stable but not out of danger."  Prince Friso of Orange-Nassau (born 25 September 1968) is the second son of Queen Beatrix and the late Prince Claus of the Netherlands.

Queen Beatrix and Prins Friso's wife Mabel-Wise-m Smit on there way to the hospital.

Prince Friso is artificially kept in a coma. This is a commonly used procedure. This is to protect the vital organs. The temperature of Friso was 32 degrees when he was pulled from under the snow. The temperature of Friso was 32 degrees, and according to Thome that could be good, for the body can endure much more with a low temperature. It will take another 24 hour to see if the accident caused damage on his brain. If his brains don't swell in that timeperiod, it will be a good sign.

Netherland is following this tragic news almost 24 hours a  day, there's nothing that we can do but wait and follow the news and ofcource wait till Monday when there's more news if Prins Friso wakes up out of his coma. What my thoughts are? I don't know, it's sad and it's tragic, I hope tomorrow's news will be positive, but I have have my doubts about that. It's so all of a sudden that this happened aswell, I'll keep updated. This Sunday was nice and relaxing, I don't know what it is but latley I feel alot like walking. Tonight after dinner I felt like it too, just walking around the block or further. But I didn't. Yesterday I walked, and tomorrow I will walk aswell. Tomorrow I will visit my Dad on my day off. 

There's a birthday comming up soon from my Aunt, No not that one) I will have to ask if my Dad wants to go. I will have to convince him also that it's better not for him to go, even though he wants too. It's so to much for him, the birthday will be helt in my city, he will need a taxi and perhaps a wheelchair. I know my Dad, if we all organize this, (taxi, wheelchair) he will be dead tired after five minutes, so yeah, better not. I think I will go in the morning,  so I can have a little rest in the afternoon. I have a few fun things to do tomorrow, I want to send a few cards to some people. My counselor will get one and the other one goes to .....! My counselor did me (again) a huge favor, I'll be going to a record fair on the 14th of April. 

For this fair I need to have a ticket to get in, there are a few options to get a ticket. I just go to the fair and stand in line for a ticket, or I can buy them at the local TNT store, or I can buy them online. (online banking) I bought the ticket online, I wanted to try it and it went so easy and quickly, before I knew it I had bought the ticket already. Only one problem, the card was on my computer after I bought it and had to be printed out. I don't have a printer! Humanitas has a printer but my counselor has one aswell on his office, I decided to ask my counselor. I sent him a mail with the ticket what had to be printed, he sent my the printed ticket back in a envelop and within two days I recieved it. 

How nice! I didn't even ask him to sent it, he could have just brought it whit his next visit. He does many things for me, it's time to do something back, a nice suprising card! Further this day I rested alot, defrosted the fridge, and did one small load of laundry. Sometimes I get that feeling that there's still so much to do in the house, I'm thinking of a big cleaning one day and sort a few things out. Think I will wait till Spring or a bit earlier. "Spring cleaning," Ya!