Roll on Monday...

Roll on Monday.....

Feeling like it was Monday today, and aswell a bit Friday, but it's Thursday, gotta love these awkward vacation days. Working just one day in the week is so not my thing, I need more days, or better 'normal working days.' I worked today after I had six days off, at the end of this day I could already wish my fellow workers a good weekend, sigh. I should not even complain with all these days off, but I am, lol. The workers are making sometimes these funny jokes aswell, with my days off, like, 'Oh you have such a good life,' or like today, 'You just started, and now you already off again?' I know there all jokes and I laugh about it with the workers, but to hear it to often isn't fun. Though it's all jokes and I have to take it as a joke, simple as that.

I would love to work a day more then the usual three days I work in the week. Not to stop the 'jokes,' uhm, well, okay a bit then. But aswell that I like my job and I like what I do, I like the daily rhythm schedule too. The weekly day-rhythm is important, I like day-rhythms, I like when I have to do things on a certain time, for example at 10:00 am this and at 2:00 pm that, day in, day out. 

With these days of lately (Easter, Queensday, Feast of the Ascension, Pentecost and Laborday.) it's easy to mess up my daily schedule. Complain, complain, complain, lol okay, day's off are nice too! This working day went nice, I was replaced to another section again, me not like, but me won't complain, lol. This section makes mats aswell, but only in a different way. 

It's not that heavy work, and there's not much work to it. In the section where I usually work  the mats needslots more handling and work, I prefer the work in my own section, but okay, I enjoyed this day. I had a bit of a slow start dua the messed up thyroid blood levels, but further in the day it went better. The weather was different aswell, lower tempature made it feel a tiny bit colder. Further in the week the tempature will go even lower, lol, how to get sick right? Upcomming weekend I will visit my Dad, it's been a while since I been there. I just didn't had the energy yet to go there, this weekend I will visit him. One last thing, I'm just as excited that my Facebook friend finally recieved her presents from Holland, I guess the mailman was a bit lost, lol. 

Warm, warmer, warmst!

Warm, warmer, warmst! 

The weather today was just as warm as yesterday, perhaps even warmer. Inside the house it's warm aswell, I don't want to open a window yet though cause of the bugs and insects. This morning I killed a bee aswell, a pretty big one too. I need defenitly a few musquito screens to get the warm air out, I bet it will be pretty extremely hot in my room during this Summer. so yeah, screens are needed and prolly dark curtains aswell. I will wait for my taxes money what I will recieve, it's so worth the money.

Today I took it quit easy, resting a bit for tomorrow's work, uhm, well rested? Let's say I enjoyed myself in a relaxing way, I took two nice bike rides. Yeah. today I finally had the guts to go in the shed, lol, damn rat! Though I had some help, I putted my shoes on coat on and went trough the flat to see if someone could help me to scare this rat away. Across my room lives a guy who has lived at Humanitas aswell, I visited him once, I think I said it in my earlier posts, I really don't want to much 'Humanitas people' around me where I live. 

This guy is quit okay though, this morning I took him with me to my appartment to show him around, he never saw my place before during the 6 months that he lived in this flat. He's not that a visiter. We dranked a coffee and after that we went to the shed, eeeek! First thing I did was knocking on the door to scare the rat, if he's there, lol. As we went in there was no rat, pffeeww. But you could see that the rat has been there, it was quit a mess, and a plactic bag with holes was laying there as evidence, lol. 

There was a tinyl ittle square metal door in the wall, that's where the rat came trough. The guy tried to close the tiny metal door but it fell open again, he knocked it tighter and then it closed. I thanked the guy and we both took off, he back to his flat and I outside. I went for a nice ride searching for a few forests, it was nice out. Though when I got back I was exhausted, dizzy and felt a pressure on my chest, it's a sympton of the thyroid blood levels too high. I hope the new medication soon kicks in. A nap was needed.

In the afternoon I went again for a bike ride, I didn't feel like sitting in the house with this weather. They forspelled rain aswell tomorrow with in the weekends much lower tempature. So, there I went, towards another forest. I planned to ride untill it was 4:30, and then I will slowly ride towards the free dinner, what is at 5:00. While riding I went slow and took plenty of breaks, I had water with me. It was a nice afternoon, I enjoyed it. Dinner was nice aswell, nice and comfy.

Tomorrow will be a working day, finally! It will be only one day though cause Friday's is always a free day for me. I missed work, lol, can't wait for tomorrow.

"I knew it."

"I knew it."

My thyroid blood levels were to high the last few weeks, I knew it, cause I felt more tired as usual. I knew there was something not right, so I did a blood test last week, this morning I went to the Doctor to hear the results. I went walking, lol, I still didn't had the guts to go in the shed this morning, 'the evil rat in the shed' freaked me out last night. A little bit more about the 'rat in the shed' later. On my way to the Doctor's I hopped aswell in the Tax Authorities. I received a letter from taxes with the message that I'm getting  some money back from over the year 2010. according to the letter I had to go to there (taxes) site, download a file and answer some questions. I did all that but some of the questions were impossible to answer, cause in the year 2010 from March till December I was in Canada. I needed some help and advice with this letter.  

The Tax Authorities is near the train station, so it wasn't that a far walk. And again, gorgeous weather, just like yesterday. I had to wait a while when I arrived, but after the waiting a nice gentlemen helped me out. He went first into his office and looked trough my taxes, after a little while he told me that I surely have the right on the sum of money what was written on that letter, cause I have been overseas in the year 2010 for  ten months. I have been paying taxes in Canada for my Dutch taxes for nothing. The gentlemen told me he will send me a form over the mail, the form is called a M- form. I will have to fill it in and send it to the Tax Authorities. And that's all, it's quit alot of money aswell what I will recieve, lucky me! After that visit I actually didn't even plan to go to the Doctor's, cause it's quit a walk, but I thought, "Why not, it's nice outside and it's not that far." Well, I thought it wasn't far. 

It was about I think a 20 minutes walk from where I started, it was okay. Arrived at the Doctor's I felt slightly a bit nerves and I already guessed what the blood results could be, and yeah, I knew it. They were a bit to high, latley I felt tired, not quit able to do the things I wanted to do for a long time, I needed more then usual rest. It's that feeling when someone is squeezing your chest a bit, when I sigh I sigh deeper then usual aswell. I sigh alot actually, I get to hear that from many people, lol. Well, I can't help it, it's my thyroid. Some find it even slightly annoying, right Saf? Lol, sometimes I have to explain it a few times why I sometimes sigh a bit more then often, I don't mind. So yeah, I will get  a higher doses of the medication what I already have. Within six weeks I will have to test my blood again to see what the results are then. Hopefully it will be better, I'm not worried. 

The Doctor gave me a recipe for the pharmacy and off I went... to the pharmacy. The pharmacy is again near the train station. Another 20 minutes walk, lol. I felt okay, but when I almost arrived at the pharmacy I felt that squeezy feeling again on my chest and a lightly faster heartbeating, all signs that my blood levels are to high, the rest of the day I will take it easy. I was happy that I arrived home, it was quit warm and I was sweating. But felt good what I accomplished this morning. Yay, new medications that will solve my tiredness a bit and I will recieve money back from taxes. After my lunch I took a nap and took it easy the rest of the day, At 4:00 I went to do a few groceries, a ten minute walk from my home, (damn rat, lol!) The 'rat in the shed' problem has to be solved, lol. I even went trough the flat a few times, to see who could help me to have a little peek in the shed if the rat is still there, lol. 

Without succes. Though I didn't worry about this 'rat' problem, I had a good day and had a few nice walks. Tomorrow is my last day off, I'm happy with it, it's about time, I miss the work and the fellow workers. Tomorrow I will take it easy aswell, the new medication I'm taking won't kick in that fast, that will atleast take more then five or six days. Tomorrow aswell the free dinner, THEN I will have to get my bicycle out of the shed, cause that's to far for walking. Hope the rat is gone tomorrow, kkssshhhhhhh, go away rat, kksssssshhhh!

Saw a mouse in the shed, and it was huge!

Saw a mouse in the shed, and it was huge! 

Everytime when I come back from being out I put my bicycle in the shed, this shed belong to the whole flat. Everyone can put there bicycles there or scooters. When I got back from the free dinner I aswell wanted to put my cycle back in the shed, then all of a sudden I saw something moving. A mouse, and it was huge. It ran off to a spot where he or she can hide, it hided behind a iron plate.  First thing I thought, "I will put my cycle where it belongs and ran off to my room." On second thought I thought, "I have to get rid of that huge monster, he or she has to get out of this tiny shed." That would be a nightmare to do, so I left it. I put my cycle where it belonged and ran to my room. Eew, eew and eeew! I so dislike mouses, this one was huge, it might not even been a mouse, it could be so that it was a rat! 

Our Queen, Beatrix!

Just writing about it, gives me the creeps again, maybe mouse or rat is still there. I will have to go out in the morning again, and I don't want to see 'it' again. I think I will make alot of noise before I will go in that shed tomorrow morning, just to scare the mouse or rat, just to let him or her know that I'm coming, lol. Alright enough about this, lol. Queens day today was okay, I expected more of it but okay. Yeah, I went out with some people from Humanitas, but we just stayed in our own city. The plan was aswell go to another city but that didn't went trough. The centre of our city was packed with people, all struggling themselves trough flea markets and little gigs from performers. The weather was outstanding gorgeous, 21 degrees, no wind and no dark cloud. 

Many, many flea markets everywhere in Holland.

With so many people here and there and everywhere it was difficult to see what the people were selling or performing, though I had a okay time, it was better then to just stay home. The warm weather was for spelled but I didn't expect that it would be that warm. You could actually just walk in shorts and t-shirt, but I didn't. After we walked for a few hours we all headed back to Humanitas, were we rested and talked. There weren't plans further with each other, so after a little hour I took off headed home. I was walking, I figured it wasn't that a far walk, my cycle stayed safely at home. Arrived at home I took a long nap, I was tired. I have been tired alot the last few days. More then normal actually, I'm happy that I checked my blood last week, maybe my thyroid is spilling up again.

Dress code : Orange!

I will check my results tomorrow morning at my doctor, I'm actually curious what the results will be. Tomorrow is another day off for me, cause tomorrow is labor day. Sigh, two more days off, I rather go working though, but okay a few days off can be nice too. I should not complain, lol. The people from Reha are working tomorrow, maybe I will drop by for a cuppa coffee, it's been a while since I have been there. I want to thank them for what they all have done for me, I had a good time there, learned alot and I should be thankfull to them cause they sent me to the place where I'm working now.

Sunday's!

Sunday's!

I'm happy with the bathroom/shower walls, they became so nicely white. Though a few spots I had to re-paint, but further then that, it's done! Now it's only clean the tiles or better scrub the tiles, and wash a few windows and doors and then the bathroom is done. I didn't do that much today, looked trough some flyer's and did one load of laundry. I looked trough yesterday's mail and saw a mail from my taxes, I might get a sum of money back from the year 2010.(Tax-return)

In the mail was written that I could download a program on there site and ask there for a tax return from the year 2010. I downloaded it and tried to answer the questions what they were asking on the tax-return page, that wasn't easy. In the year 2010 I lived overseas and not in Holland, that made it difficult to answer the questions. I will need help with that, and I will get help at the taxes-office in my town, Tuesday or Wednesday.

So tomorrow it's Queens day, do I have plans? Yeah, I will be going out to a flea market in another city, I will be going with a few other people. These people I know from Humanitas and from the free dinners, I asked 'them' if they had plans for tomorrow, and they invited me to come with them to the flea market. These people are okay, uhm, it's okay to go out with them so now and then. Though there not really my kinda people, but okay, I guess it will be fun. 


P.s. these people have a car, uhm, a very little car. There's alot of junk in it aswell. Let's say that car is not really save, so that makes me a tiny bit anxious to go with them. I have been in that tiny little car more often though, hoping the car doesn't brake in two tomorrow.

Two posts in one day? I'm on a roll!! (2)

"I see a yellow wall and I want it painted white."

Today was good, I was tired but did a few things what I wanted to do, painting was one of the them. I rained pretty hard first in the morning, but when it was time to go it went dry, and not even cold. I went from store to store to buy the things I needed, at one store the paint brushes were cheaper then the other store. But in the other store the paint was cheaper, lol. For a decent price I had all the things I needed, I bought even a duvet, I really needed one. The duvet had a nice price too. 

After a long and nice nap and a delicious lunch I started with the painting, here and there a bit nerves, lol, it's been a while since I painted, I didn't wanna screw up my bathroom walls. Though the painting went well, it wasn't that much work, or I must say the walls weren't that big. Ofcource I spilled a few drops of paint here and there, even one on my sock, lol! (Should have wore'n white socks!) I painted three times over the walls to get the right color what I wanted, perfectly white without brown or yellow stains comming through.

Here are the results... 

The things I needed, roller-brush, paint, etc. I liked the sign on the paint bucket, 'succes,' I sure needed it.

Covering the mirror for not getting stains... 

Shower curtain in the middle for now... 

Did I spill? It's alright, I had plastic underneath the bucket and brush...

Tadaaaa, now waiting till it's dry... 

Loving the result....

The tape you see was for not getting the tiles dirty and full of paint... 

Tomorrow it will look even better, then it's all dried up. 
 

Two posts in one day? I'm on a roll!! (1)

Communication and socializing! 

I have to get out more, but yeah going out on your own can be fun but, going out with other people is so much more fun. To get in contact with these 'other people' I will have to search. But how? I know it's alot of work, and sometimes these 'other people' come just by luck, if your lucky, lol. Being surrounded by people is important, it's good for me, I noticed that. I don't want to live like I use to did. I lived on my own before I went to Canada. Did my daily things like groceries, house holdings, and so now and then I went out by myself. Sure I had a few friends but in my eyes they weren't real friends. We went out so now and then, and that was it actually. In that time I was rather on myself, cause I was used to it. 

When I went to Canada my life made a u-turn, I wasn't alone anymore, I was totally surrounded by family and friends. Oh yeah, I really had to get used that, for sure! Even when I returned from Canada, I was surprising surrounded by people, Shelter Humanitas! Living in a huge shelter with several rooms did me good, but I was aswell longing so now and then for a time alone. Ofcource... after a break up and a huge adventure in Canada behind me, ofcource I longed for it. But the socializing and communication for sure helped me alot to get trough this, it was needed, and still it is. Otherwise I will fall back... no better, take a huge step back in my process. 

Ofcource I have sometimes my sad, bad thoughts and 'missing them' moments, but it's less, much more less then a year ago. I'm sure I will get over this in time, though the time in Canada I would like to treasure as a adventure, a precious adventure, yes! Cause I have been there and I did my best, all the best I could! Now I'm here, and here I did my best aswell, my best to get everything on rails again. And I managed! I'm still not there yet in my eyes, but I'm getting there. Again I want to be surrounded by people, my new job is a good start, the free dinners in the week aswell. But in my eyes it's not enough, the volunteers jobs where I'm searching for  is still not a success. 

I'm still busy with finding and searching for a nice volunteers job, the volunteers agency where I recently have signed in and where I had a few test appointments are a bit slow aswell. The agency is called 'Scoop.' The last time I contacted them was last week, I reacted on a vollunteers job and 'they' mailed me back a week later, saying that they will put me trough trough another volunteers agency where 'that' job is located, I'm still waiting. Like I said it's going to slow. But I'm not giving up, perseverance is what I'm doing. I'm looking for something in the weekends, I have six days off now, and... well, it's not that I'm bored but, just having people around me is what I miss so now and then. 

Do I have friends? Uhm, what are friends actually? Friends are people where you can depend on and where you have a good time with, people where you can socialize with and communicate, people where you feel good with. I think I have a few, but if I can depend on them, I don't think I can, there not really trustworthy. I'm talking about a few friends from Humanitas who I see almost every week, at the free dinners. I had a nice time with them at Humanitas, shared things, and had fun. It's tough to find a good friend nowadays I guess, sure I have a few people where I can go to and have a nice time, but that's it actually. I guess it should be enough....

Better weather is on his way...

Better weather is on his way... 

The weather forecast forspelled 20 degrees and dry weather on Sunday and Monday, I don't have much with Dutch weather forecast forspelling, usually they forspelled it wrong, so I will see. Hopefully they forspelled it right. Today the weather was nice aswell, here and there a cloud but the sun was powerfull with 15 degrees, it felt nice. I have nothing planned yet these coming days, most people in Holland are excited about up coming Monday, Queens day! There will be flea markets, normal markets, festivals, concerts, etc, etc. mostly everyone and everything is dressed and decorated in orange. Orange is our national color.

So yeah, nothing planned yet, though I would love to decorate my house a bit more. For example curtains, new, better plants, a few vases, etc. Such things aren't free, I wish, lol. Guess I have to save money for these things, but painting the shower and buy a second duvet case, (hope that's the right word) is on my agenda this weekend, sigh, damn money. I don't buy things cause I'm bored or just like that, I'm buying things cause it's needed. It's the way it is, I have to take it easy with my money. Today I had some mail aswell, the rent is going up. It's not that much, but still. The rent is going up every year though, it's normal.

"The Dutch cabinet has approved  that housing associations a rent increase to 5 percent may impose on tenants with a gross income of more than 43,000 euros. The purpose of the measure to tenants with higher incomes to stimulate their social housing to leave. That should release more cheap houses for people on low incomes."

I received a letter aswell from my corporation with the writing above, I have a social house too cause I have a low income. It makes sense though, it's to give the people with a low income a better chance for a house. Social house's are for people with a low income and that should stay like that. Though I'm in doubts, I have a low income yes, but is it low enough for my social house? Or do I have a high income now, to high for a social house? Is it that why my rent is going up? Confusing! I will ask for information upcoming week to find out what's going on with this letter.

I had a dentist appointment aswell today, she filled my nearly broken filling, so my whole tooth is fixed now. This tooth has had a root-canal treatment, and a new filling. No pain at all, last week the dentist did a part of the fixing aswell, and I had pain afterwards for a few days. "That was normal, it was the healing what caused the pain,"the dentist told me. She's a nice person, I can ask her anything about my teeth, and she's good. October I will have the next appointment. She will inform me by email.

Six day's off...

Six day's off... 

So many day's off, I really gotta plan something. Yesterday I have been looking for paint, and paintbrushes, I might paint a piece of the bathroom, it's needed. The paint I saw wasn't so expensive, and I don't  not that much paint. It's been a while since I painted something in a house, I painted alot though. In my old house (before I went to Canada) I painted almost all the walls and ceilings in every room, that took a while but that didn't matter, I had the time.

I think I will plan a day to buy the stuff I need to paint, and pick a day to start painting. Yeah, six day's off, it's okay I guess, I rather work though but okay. Lol, I even asked twice to work a day more next week. I have only one working day next week, Thursday, Monday we have Queens day and Tuesday it's labor day. At the office they told me that it's going to be difficult next week to work, it will be a short week for everyone, so there's not that much to do. 

Queens day! Our Queen Beatrix in the flowers.

Well, alright, it's fine. I found it a bit silly aswell from me to ask to work in my days off, every worker is happy with a few days off, and here I am asking to work a day more on my days off, lol. I guess I like my work, lol, I like being around the workers and I like what I have to do. That's positive, right? Sure there's enough to do in the six day's off, though I can't and I don't want to spend loads of money in these days off, I need to save a bit money for my holiday trip.

I know how it is to have not alot of money, and I sure can enjoy myself without spending money. Though it's so much fun aswell when you bored to buy a few things, lol. Isn't it? Today was though at work, but I enjoyed it. Heavy work, here and there went a few things wrong but okay, learn from it and go on. I fit in so well, it's a nice and good feeling.

Sunny, warm weather ahead (?)

Sunny, warm weather ahead (?)

The weather forecast for spelled 20 degrees this coming weekend, hopefully it's going trough. You never know it in Holland, at the moment it's nice outside as well. Sometimes a dark cloud blocks the sun, but the temperature feels nice. It's about 12 or 13 degrees now. It's gonna be a long weekend this weekend, Fridays I'm always off, then the following Saturday and Sunday, Queens day on Monday and the last day off we have Labor day. Wednesday I'm always off, and Thursday starts work again, Not sure though cause next Thursday we have Feast of the Ascension. Sigh, so many days off, it's nice though, but six days of in a row? Pffeeww, really gotta find something to do, lol.

I had a nice sleep last night, though I went to bed a bit late, it was around 12:00 when I went to bed. But oh well, "I can sleep out," I thought last night. I woke up at 7:00 and planned my day. I wanted to test my blood for sure, I needed a new pillow aswell, but also a electric toothbrush, plus I needed a few groceries. I needed a few papers too from my doctor to take with me to the hospital to test my blood, my Doctor has his office in the north of the  City and the hospital lays in the east of the city, it's quit a ride. On my way from north to east I bought my needed groceries, bread as first as always, lol.

At the hospital they had something new (again), the blood test section was moved to another section. First I had to find out where 'that' other section was, sigh, not that easy in a large hospital. After I found it, I first had to take a number out of a machine, then I had to wait for my (number) call. My number was 74, after being called I had to go to desk 3, there they filled in my taken papers and gave me again a number, and again the number was 74. I will be called up again for the blood test, ...waiting again. I didn't have to wait that long, room number 6 I had to go to for the blood test. 

When the needle went in it was quit 'ouch,' I asked the nurse why it hurted so much this time. The nurse told me that she might hitted slightly a nerve, the pain was gone within 15 minutes, but 'ouch!' Across the hospital there's a huge mall with several shops around it, there I planned to go too to buy a nice (better) pillow. The two old ones were nice in the beginning, but there to low now, I needed a new one. The old ones were from Ikea, they were cheap but nice and good. I bought a bigger one for a nice price, it has more foam aswell, let's see if it lays well tonight.

"Did the package arrived?"

"Did the package arrived?" 

What can I say? Tuesday, I worked a whole day like usual. Today I was on another section again for a change. I'm not really liking it, cause I'm so used to my own section. I know what to do there, I know the tools and I know what kinda mats we make. But anyway, on that other section it was nice and calm. It's not that heavy work as in the section where I usually work. I pulled a little muscle this morning in my chest, it was kinda hurting and made me feel I had a little pressure on my chest, kinda worried me. But as the day went on the pain went less, the muscle was okay again. Let's see how it feels in the morning, when I get out of bed.

It was a nice day at work, I worked together with one other fellow worker, he was in charge in that (other) section. He's a calm guy and friendly, we both finished a order what had to be done today. Our two Bosses our a few days gone, holiday Uhm, no but it kinda looks like it, lol. There off to Denmark to see a maybe new customer, the Bosses brought a few mini mats to show the customer. It was a pretty calm day today, though I'm exhausted as usual after two days. Next week we have two days off, cause of the holidays. Next Monday we have 'Queens day,' and the day after Queens day we have 'labor day.' 

So that means I only have to work one day next week, Thursday! Yay? Yeah, though I asked if I could work next Wednesday too, kinda silly though, but okay. Some people are glad they have several days off, and I'm asking if I can work another day more, LOL! A guy at the office who does the planning told me that he will look if there's work enough for me next week, he will inform me Thursday. Tomorrow a day off, I have a few plans but hmm, buying a electric toothbrush, buying a better sleeping pillow, I need a vacuum cleaner as well. Important is also to test my blood again for my thyroid, it's been a while. I will see tomorrow.

P.s. What's with the title? What package? Oh nothing....lol.

A nice and productive day.

A nice and productive day.

I have been twice to the office at work today. I knew I would get a conversation around 3:00 pm, but the Boss came early this morning and called me in her office, "Just a little prepairing for the conversation in the afternoo," she told me. Nice of her. In the little prepairing conversation she told me again that they were glad with me and that I reall do my best, I'm positive, I work hard, ect, ect, I was Abi-minded in there eyes, lol! Abi is the name of the factory where I work. That was positive to hear that I'm Abi-minded, I'm willing to work (hard) for Abi. I like Abi, I like working here and I like the workers where I work with. although it's sometimes hard work, it's also worth it. I know aswell that I have sometimes a low energy level, but I can manage it, I know how to plan my energy trough the day and the week, I know when to take it easy, and when I can go for it.

The Boss asked me again this morning if I was flexible, meaning, flexible with work, I work Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. But it can happen that it might get busy on a Wednesday or a Friday, I will be flexible to work on a Waednesday or Friday then, though the 3 days of work will always stay. So if I work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, then I will be Thursday off. Or when I work on a Friday then I will be the day before off. It can also happen that we get a extremely busy week, then I'm flexible enough to work 4 days, but then the week after that I will only be working 2 days then. My Boss talked aswell about working in shifts, when it gets for example extremely busy for a long time, then I will be flexible to work 3 days in shifts. For example, from 6:00 am till 2:00 pm, or from 2:00 pm til 10:00 pm.Yeah, this is te real deal. 


Like I said, I like working here, I like what I'm doing, that gives a automaticly positive energy boost aswell. Ofcource I'm tired after a day of work, but everyone has that, the feeling that I did enough and that I enjoyed it, gives a satisfied feeling. Around 3:00 pm the Boss came again to call me in her office, my counselor from Reha was there aswell, it was nice seeing her again, it's been a while. My Boss, my counselor and I started talking, it was a bit the same talk like my Boss and I had this morning, that everything goes well with me and that I deserved this working contract. My counselor talked aswell how things will go further now, for example with my earning/income. I will earn monthly my money now from Abi, and the company where I use to get my monthly money from (Gak) will keep giving me aswell something once a month. Hard to explain, lol. 

The most important is that I will get better from this, I will earn... I think a bit more then I usually earned in the month. My Boss and counselor couldn't really say how much it will be, I will have to wait till the 23th of May, then I will see how much I earned (monthly) On that date Abi will pay my first loan. Gak will have to know aswell what I will earn money from Abi, I will have to fill in a paper from Gak. On that paper I will have to fill in some information about Abi and me, what I earn, (I will ask my Boss) my social number, ect, ect. When something changes with my health or finance or getting a job, Gak will have to know this, so they can change my income. Higher loan or lower loan, I will get lower loan from Gak now cause I will earn money from Abi now. Either way, I will earn more now, more then I earned before, and that's a good thing. 


This week or next week I will sign the working contract, then it's oficilally. I will get now working shirths aswell, thank God! A shirth, a polo-shirt and a t-shirt, woot! The shirts have a badge aswell, a badge with Abi written on it, gosh I will feel special, lol. I'm glad I have a job, glad the hard work was all worth it.

Toothache?

Toothache?

Since my last appointment last Friday with the dentist I have this annoying feeling on my just repaired tooth, it's not really hurting but I can feel it, it such a annoying feeling. Ugh, I will have to wait till next Friday to fix this, cause then is my next appointment. If this annoying feeling gets worse then I will call for a appointment sooner. My dentist had alot of work on that tooth last Friday, perhaps a bit to much my tooth could handle. She cleaned out my tooth what had a root canal treatment last year. The filling on that tooth  wasn't that good either, she asked me if she can repair it or that I wanted to wait until next week, I told her to wait until next week. Maybe I shouldn't have waited... Ugh, toothache, I SO dislike it. 

NO! Only looking at it makes my teeth already hurt, lol.

So, from now on I want to take more care of my teeth, together with my dentist. Good thing I dislike candy, although I grab sometimes a chocolate bar at the supermarket, or I take in the weekends a bowl of chips, but that's really it if it comes to candy. I like my sweets in the morning lol. Sweets on my sandwich I meant. Strawberry jam or honey, yum!  I want to make that less now, even one spoon of sugar in my tea or coffee, instead of two spoons is more then enough. I'm already eating veggies and fruit, but I should do that just a bit more. And water, I should drink lots more water. I'm not a drinker, I could do easily a day without drinks, two days aswell, not good, I know. So yeah, that's it, from now on it's healthy food and drinks. 

Yes!! That's better!

I know that the dentist can also do alot for my teeth, like make them healthy, repair them, make them clean, but ofcource that will cost me. Sure the dentist doesn't mind, she gladly see's me coming every week, lol. Good for her wallet, but not for my wallet. She could fix my front teeth aswell, they look dirty and yellow cause I had a accident when I was ten or eleven. Maybe I will do that, but I'm not sure yet. Sure it will look better and nicer, but such things will cost me aswell. I will ask the dentist what it will cost me this coming Friday. This week I will be saving money for a electric toothbrush, my old dentist told me this last year that it's so much better, better then a normal hand brush.

Yeah, Sunday already. Like every Sunday I didn't do much, just resting for tomorrow's work. Showering, preparing dinner, ironing and I washed one load of laundry, that was it. Tomorrow I will have again a conversation with my Boss and my counselor from Reha, prolly it will be the last conversation. Just confirming things I think, confirming that I have a working contract. I will prolly get new working clothes aswell I think, I hope. Every worker has a working shirt with the name on it from the factory, not me. It's about time I get new working clothes aswell, it's full of stains, stains from glue and oil, yuck! You really can't wash those stains out, it's stuck forever. I will see what I get tomorrow.

Saturday why are you so grey?

Saturday why are you so grey? 

This weather really gotta make up his mind, cause this is nothing. Still I'm wearing a wintercoat and a scarf and hat. It was grey today with rain and hail. In the morning I started with cleaning the sleeping-room, washing the windows, doors, and closets. The windows were so much work, specially the big one, the soap water was almost black afterwards. I had to take a few breaks while cleaning, I took it easy today, lol. In the afternoon after my nap I did my last groceries, and then? Then nothing much further, it's been a good day. I did what I wanted to do, that gives a relaxed feeling. Tomorrow's a resting day, like always. Sleeping, looking trough flyers, napping, watching TV. I think it's about time for....... 


Pictures!! 

 Me on my bicycle! I ride and I ride...

A little horse near my Dad's house. 

And another one... 

Near my Dad's house is a HUGE forest where you can walk for miles, as a child I was here almost everyday. There are bicycle lanes aswell.

This little horse was about to eat my shoe...

 The cano's are laying ready, now it's waiting for dry and warm weather. These cano's are part of a cafe, this cafe is in the middle of our city. Akward but so nice.

Again horses, I can't help it, lol. 

Beside my Dad's place these tree's are waiting for Spring aswell. All cut up and ready for there leaves and flowers. 

Bicycles in Utrecht, near Amsterdam. I took this picture last weekend while going home. 

 And another (trendy) bicycle in Utrecht.

We had Hail this afternoon, and it was quit alot. Now here on this pic you see a bit of sun aswell....

...but here no sun at all, only hail. 

Dentist visit went fine...

Dentist visit went fine...

around eleven I had to be there, when I arrived there were no other patients in the waiting-room. I saw knowhere a secetary so I asked her if she doesn't have help, the dentist told me that she likes to work alone. While the dentist was doing her work, her son worked in the garden, "He takes my calls," she told me. The dentist opened up the fake filling again from last week , last week she cleaned out a old rootcanal cause it has inflammation. It was quit a work but there was no pain, only keeping your mouth open with tools and cottons in it is no fun.

After 20 minutes she was done, though she wanted to do one more thing on 'that' tooth. She wanted to repair the filling and that might take another thirthy minutes, she asked me, "Do you want me to do that now or next week?" I thought about it for two seconds and I answered, "Next week please." I was done, my mouth was dry and I felt sleepy. Perhaps I should have done it, just so that I got rid of it. Now I have to take care of my just repaired tooth until next Friday, cause the filling wasn't that good the dentsit told me.

The dentist did a quick check up of my other teeth and saw that most of the fillings were bad. "Your old dentist didn't do a good job with the fillings," she said. I kinda knew it but I wasn't sure, I'm glad she told me, now I'm sure who I can blame, lol. Glad aswell that I have a better dentist now, she even told me she can make my fron teeth look much better. I had a accident with my two front teeth when I was 10 or 11, I wanted to pull my self up out of a swimming-pool and 'kedeng!' Two of my front teeth broke off.

The dentist fixed it back then but there's a tiny yellow stripe on the part where the two teeth broke off. I'm happy with the fact my new dentist could fix problem but, ofcource that will cost me. I will think about it, and ask her what that will cost me next week. Today was a so so day, I had a good nap what was needed, and I wanted to go further with the 'big'cleaning. But the tooth was hurting a bit from the repairing so I took it easy. Tomorrow another day.

Ugh, I so dislike toothache, it makes you grumpy and feel like you don't wanna do anything.Perhaps it has to heal and that takes time, let's hope it. The weather was fine today, the weather forecast forspelled rain, hail and thunder the last three days, but I haven't heared thunder or saw hail or rain. It's nice out, perhaps going out to the market tomorrow, I'll see.

It was a 'sore muscles' day.

It was a 'sore muscles' day. 

I was tired today with sore muscles, heavy lifting, same movement over and over. It all made me tired this Thursday, after 4:30 I was done, but felt satisfied aswell. I done alot and it was all good. Sometimes I wish I could do more. I mean more days, or just one day more. The fellow workers understand why I don't have much energy, I explained most of them here and there about my sick thyroid and that 3 days of work is really enough. Though that have sometimes jokes when I have the next day off, "You have such a good life," they say then. It's really a bit of a Ducth saying, lol in a fun kinda way. 

I know it's a joke, sometimes I laugh about it with them or I comment with a funny comment back. It's all jokes. I know I'm not that a talker, but sometimes the fellow workers invite me to talk. They ask me something or they have a joke, ect, ect. I'm not worried about my communication towards my fellow workers, I know 'that'will be better then it now is. The fellow workers are nice, always willing to help each other, and we have jokes, it's perfect and I'm loving it. Still I'm thinking about working another day more, that will be the Friday then. Maybe after my Summer vacation I will start, I'll see.

First a good rest from this week, tomorrow around 11:00 I will have to go to the dentist, I'm not nervous, only a bit about my teeth. I think there will be alot of work on my teeth this year, I have bad fillings and not only that. Tomorrow my dentist will work on my rootcanal again, and prolly look at my other teeth. This weekend aswell I want to finnish my Spring-cleaning, lol, it's about time. The cleaning takes a bit longer then I thought, ugh, those many windows.
I think all of the cleaning will be done within 2 or 3 weeks. (And then I will have to start over....LOL!

Days fly by so fast sometimes...

Days fly by so fast sometimes...

Wednesdays are free days for me, but what is a day? Days fly by so fast, you wake up, do a few things and before you know it's evening already. Though I did what I wanted to do today, first I rested, before lunch I posted something, then in the afternoon a visit from my counselor. It's been three weeks that I saw him. There wasn't much to do when he came, ussualy I put my important post ready where I need help with, but there was nothing, no important post.

My counselor told me already a few months ago that the important post will be more and more less in the following years, with the 'important' post I mean, the post with the guilts I have to pay back from when I was in Canada, and aswell the paying back from the loan I needed for my house, (furniture, fridge, washingmachine, bed, ect, ect. The paying back and some of the guilts I still have I'm still paying, but that all goes automaticly. 

Yes, I still need to take care of my money, taking it easy. Counting every coin when I do groceries or when I need something new, I'm kinda used to it, but I haven't had it so extreme like last year when I started of with a few coins. Just like a little month ago when I booked a little trip to Prague online, I had many doubts and thoughts about this trip. But I booked the trip, this afternoon I payed the trip online. 

Now it's confirmed and I'm all done, I'm ready for Prague. In the Summer vacation I will have 3 weeks off, I'm going to Prague on the 3rd of August, staying there for 8 days. Excited? Yes, but not that excited as I was when I went to London, I don't know what to expect in Prague, all I know it's a nice historical city trip, and I like that. Hope the weather will be good, with lots of sun!!

A needed day off...

A needed day off... 

Like I said yesterday I would like to try four days one day at work instead of three days, but I think it will be tough. Monday and Tuesday were tough aswell, though it gives a good feeling aswell. I don't think I could bring up three days in a row. If I would try four days it will be Monday and Tuesday work , then Wednesday off, then Thursday and Friday work. Then the weekend off, ofcource. Today we said goodbye to Wouter my second Boss, it was a nice goodbye. The Boss held a little speech, and there was cake and cookies while having our first break. I kinda felt a bit emotional, lol. Weak as I am, lol. 

The speeches were nice, seeing Wouter walking trough the factory for the last time, did something to me. I learned alot from him, even on his last day he guided, and teached me a few things. Everyone wished him well, when it was time to go home, 4:30 pm. It's sure gonna be different, he will be missed. It's busy at work, were getting alot of new orders at the same time. Sometimes materials are missing so we can't make or produce the mats, busy days ahead. But tomorrow a day off, resting in the morning, and in the late afternoon my counselor comes for a visit. First a nice goodnight sleep.

Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?

Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday? 

Just kidding, lol. I like and love every day, Sometimes I even think days are to short. Like now, I'm writting this post, and look at the clock, it's already 10 minutes after 9. Within a hour I want to go to bed, cause I have work tomorrow. But this day flew till it's end, it's been a nice busy day at work. There was for sure enough to do, we had five people woking in our section, where's there normal three working.

We all worked together nicely and everything went well, I love that! Sure it's, but it gives a good feeling to be busy, better then doing the same thing over and over without feeling that you actually do something productive.Yes, that was the word I was looking for, it's been a productive day. Still a few days for my second boss, then he will be gone for good. We all putted some money together for a nice gift for him, we usually do such things. 

We do it aswell when someone is sick at home, something small or something big, it just depends. My 'new' second Boss was a fellow worker that I know, and what I expected aswell that he will become my new second Boss. His name is Mitvija, he's from Croation, very friendly guy. We kinda have something in common, a language. Mitvija lived for 3 years in New York, and I for 3 years in Canada.

Sometimes we speak English with each other. Fun to do that, I sometimes miss talking English. I so love my job, I feel tired afterwards but it's so worh it. I'm thinking (If I can handle it) to work four days in the week instead off three days. When I started this job I started off with 3 half days and then slowly towards 3 whole days. Now I would like to work four days, I will see if I manage. That's a thing for the comming months, perhaps I will start after the Sumer vacation. I'll see.

A day of rest...

A day of rest...
Just like I planned, I rested today. Though I had a few things to do, just some little things. Shower, ironing my just washed and dried working clothes and make lunch for tomorrow's work. And further not much, I listened to some of my new bought cd's from yesterday, wowooh! Some of the cd's reminded when I was a teenager when I just bought 'these' cd's, nice! Ofcource I went on my laptop, I never skip a day, lol. At work they say sometimes that I'm alot on Facebook, and that I post alot. Well, I like it, and I'm not 'that' much on Facebook, I have seen worser. I still can remember the time when I even didn't had a computer, I just watched TV then in the evening.

And now I,m on the computer, instead of watching TV, lol. I'm surely not a whole day on my laptop, and I can surely do without it. (That's a lie! LOL) It's fun being on the computer, specially when I have nothing to do. When I have something to do, let's say something important, then I will close my laptop. First thing I do is go on Facebook, then some regular fun sites, perhaps Cityville afterwards and then prolly Hotmail. I write in this blog everyday, usually in the evening. Sometimes it's alot of work, cause I do not not know what to write sometimes, lol. I always think of something then, cause writing a piece everyday in this blog is a must like I said in my first post. No matter what.

Finally a normal week with work again, last week we had only two day's of work cause of Easter. Wednesday my counselor will visit me, it's been 3 weeks since my last visit, he comes once in 3 weeks now. I want him to help me once more with paying my trip to Prague online with my ING bankaccount, I'm carefull with online banking. Yeah, heading to Prague with  the Summer vacation, I hope it's gonna be a nice excursion trip with lots of sun. Upcomming Friday the second appointment with my new dentist, just checking how my tooth is doing after the rootcanal treatment. The pain is less, and that's such a relief, ugh! Toothache makes you grumpy.

Depeche Mode - Clean Acoustic.flv

Clean.. 

The cleanest I've been, an end to the tears and the in-between years, and the troubles I've seen. Now that I'm clean, you know what I mean, I've broken my fall put an end to it all, I've changed my routine. Now I'm clean. I don't understand what destiny's planned, I'm starting to grasp what is in my own hands. I don't claim to know where my holiness goes I just know that I like, what is starting to show... Sometimes. Clean... the cleanest I've been an end to the tears and the in-between years and the troubles I've seen.

Now that I'm clean, you know what I mean, I've broken my fall put an end to it all I've changed my routine. Now I'm clean. As years go by all the feelings inside, twist and they turn as they ride with the tide. I don't advise and I don't criticise I just know what I like with my own eyes...Sometimes. Clean... the cleanest I've been an end to the tears and the in-between years and the troubles I've seen. Now that I'm clean...Sometimes. You know what I mean, I've broken my fall put an end to it all I've changed my routine. Now I'm clean...Sometimes. Now I'm clean, the cleanest I've been..

The record fair was top!

The record fair was top! 

After a sort off rotten week, with pain on my teeth, worries and searching for a dentist, I was determand to have a nice and relaxing day. And, tadaaa! It was a nice and relaxing day, everything went well. I already had my train and entrance ticket, I bought them a month before the record fair took place. In the train it was busy, but I could sit somewhere pleasant, the trip to Utrecht took long enough for a little nap. The city Utrecht is near Amsterdam and Schiphol, Utrecht lays not even 30 minutes from it. The were some people in the train heading to Schiphol, I could tell by the huge and many suitcases. I wish I could come with them, lol, I want to travel with a plain again! I so miss it.

In Utrecht I had to walk for a little 15 minutes towards the fair, it's a huge hall building where several shows and fairs are being held. Today there's the record fair being held plus a huge flea market, well, not really a flea market but a collect market(?) Anything what you can collect, like stamps, coins, teabags, antique, old toys, ect, ect, and ect. These halls are huge, hall 10 was where the record fair was being held. I had to search for hall 10 for such a long time, dashing and strumpling trough the other halls, passing antique and toys, lol. Finally I found it, the digging could begin. There was alot of vinyl, elpees ans singels, but that's not my thing anymore. 

I don't own record players anymore, so, cd's and perhaps some merchandising was my goal. The hall was huge and crowded, but I had fun and enjoyed the fullest. I saw alot of records, but not only that, I saw aswell the funniest items. For example baby-rock-clothing, doormats with your idol on it, Beatles or Stones coffee mugs, T-shirts. There was even a Star Wars fan section where you could buy clothing or dvd's plus you could get a signature from a famous Star Wars actor, I had no clue who the guy was, lo. ( p.s. I thinkI(cough)havea litllesuprise (cough) forcoughsomeoneaswellbutsshh!)It was nice and relaxing at the fair, I brought food with me, so all was good. I spent five hours there, and that was more then enough. 

I bought a few cd's lol, just a few, honest! There were expensive cd's but aswell cheap ones. I looked for the cd's between the 8 and 1 Euro's, and with succes. You really have to search though, and have a bit of luck finding them. Oh, record collectors people are so funny and sometimes extravagant. I saw sometimes the weirdest people, it's nice though. I saw stands from Germany, Sweden, USA, UK, and Netherlands, and more, like I said this fair is huge, you really need two days to see everything, but then again you will be exhausted afterwards. At home I took a easy small dinner, they had nice meat sandwiches at our trainstation, I took a few with me. Tomorrow I will rest and listen to my new cd's. (Insert smile)

Friday the 13th!

Friday the 13th...! 

...So far so good, oh yes I can be superstitious sometimes, just small things though. For example putting my shoes nicely next to each other when I take them off, lol, or hang the towel nicely and not wrinklyl. Ofcource it's a bit silly cause nothing will happen if I hang the towel wrinkly or put my shoes way out of each other. Though I have seen worser people, I'm not that extreme or overreacted. Anyway, lol. It was a nice day, relaxing and everything has been done what I wanted to be done. Groceries, laundry, trainstation check, it's all done. Tomorrow I won't have time, tomorrow I will be out to the record fair in Utrecht, finally, In waited so long for this event.  It's been years since I have been there! 

The weather was nice today, sunny and not that cold, though we still have cold nights. I spoke to a friend of mine on Facebook this morning, she's from Canada. Saf and I met her while singing karaoke, she was always there. We, Saf and I, became good friends with her, when I chat with her on Facebook she sometimes mentions that I have to visit her once again in Canada, Mississauga. She's full of jokes most the time, "When are you coming home?" she yells then, lol. After my break up with Saf, I always said to myself that I would like to visit Canada once again. Just for a week, that would be nice.  But that was what I was saying then, this is now, a year further. 

Oh, the things I wanted and said when I got back the first month in Holland, I wanted to visit Saf and her children in the Summer, or perhaps visit them with Christmas again, I even wanted to stay in Canada, and find myself a house there so that I didn't have to return to Holland. What was I thinking! I'm glad I went back to Holland though, otherwise I would have alot more problems then I already had. 

Having fun in Walmart with Ab and Tasn, trying on different hats.

I didn't had a Canadian passport, no money, I was ilegal in Canada, and what did I had in Canada? What did I want in Canada? If I thought about it long enough then it was wise that I returned to Holland. Even though it was a hard decision, I had to. And even though it was a hard struggle with alot of work, I had to. 

This is now, I'm here now and I'm okay and good. Am I happy? I have sometimes my happy momnents yes, but I'm sure no one is happy 24 hours a day. That was one of my goals to be happy again, but being happy 24 hours a day is impossible. Being happy are just moments I think, you have sometimes happy moments and sad moments aswell or bad moments, or even jolly or crazy moments. Do I still want to go back to Canada for a week? I don't know, I mean I would love to!! BUT, it can bring back alot of memories aswell, those memories can be nice but aswell. Or the memories brings me back to the beginning of my proces, pushing me back in the proces. Like I said I'm fine here, I'm good and okay. 

Though I will think about it of visiting Canada once more, visiting my 'karaoke' friend. I won't visit Saf or her children, that would be so major akward and weird, I don't want to creat havoc. Like I said I would LOVE to visit Canada once more, but the memories what I might get there frightens me. Maybe in the near future when I'm ready for it, perhaps three or four years from now. At the moment I'm not ready yet, that's oblivious. I still miss a few of Saf's kids aswell, Tasn, Ab and Noor, the missing is less though. But I will never forget them, they will prolly forget me, that's fine, I can't blame them either.