Loving the weather!

Loving the weather! 

26 degrees and no dark cloud in the sky, tomorrow even warmer. I guess I will take it easy in the morning tomorrow, get some rest and probably a power nap. I'm tired, though I worked just as usual today. Sure it was busy, but it's always busy, maybe the suddenly warm weather got me tired, last week it was 14 degrees, and now 26. These houses where I live can get warm too, though I slightly can stand the heat. Weird that we still get so much orders just for the Summer holiday, customers want mats before the holiday, no matter what. It's almost insane, I told my fellow workers today that we have only two hands, were not super men. 
When I got back from work I looked in my hotmail, and I saw a unexpected mail from Saf. 

First thing what came trough my mind was, "What does she want from me now?" Or, "What's going on?" Yeah, I still have sometimes that awkward or nervous feeling when Saf writes a mail, not that much as I use too though. I use to stumbe with my words aswell, carefully writing my words, but not anymore now. (Just being friendly) Now, she doesn't write mails that much though, only for a reason. So when she does, it gives me a bit the creeps, lol. The last few times she mailed she asked me for money, or that I owed her money, so yeah... (P.s, usualy I'm the one who writes an email to her, once in a half year or once a year) Anyway, Saf asked me how I was doing and how my Summer is going... I answered Saf and I will wait for a reply, nice of her that she mailed. 

I'm ready!

I'm ready! 

I'm ready for Berlin, I got my tickets from online. I asked one of my fellow workers if it was possible to use a computer plus internet here in the office to print my Berlin tickets, he said, "Yeah, sure, I did it myself aswell when I needed my airplane tickets." For just to be sure I asked one of the ladies from the office aswell during our lunch break, "Sure, no problem," all I needed to know. Right after lunch I went with one of the ladies to the office, "Wait here," the lady said, "I'll be right back. All of a sudden the Boss walks in and asked me how I was doing, I answered, but felt awkward towards her. 

Just because my Boss didn't know what I was doing in the office, and she looked at me with a look as, "What are you doing here?" It didn't feel right what I was doing. My Boss went away but came back after two minutes, she asked me what I was doing here, she was friendly. (Told ya, she wanted to know what I was doing here, lol) I'm not that much at the office so it was a bit awkward. I told my Boss about the tickets, and that I needed some help, and then asked if I could use the computer. My Boss wasn't happy with it, I could tell, but she was still friendly. She said...

"Normally we don't do such things, and you should have come to me for asking, plus we don't like it that you do such thing whit working time," she said. She went on, "But okay, for once you can use the computer, this lady here can help you." I felt relieved but bad aswell, lol. Relieved I can use the computer, and bad because I should have asked my Boss first, yes, sigh. Anyway, it won't happen again, cause I'm not like that, I'm not sneaky. Though I thought it was okay cause of the fellow worker told me so, plus the office lady who said, sure and okay, so I thought it was fine. Anyway, I got the tickets, and my Boss isn't mad. All good!

Finally some nice weather ahead.

Finally some nice weather ahead. 

Tomorrow we have 25 degrees, finally! It's been to cold and to wet the last couple of weeks, to cold for the time of year. I hope the warm weather sets trough and lasts, lasts three weeks or longer. One more week and then my Summer holiday starts, slightly a full week though. Still busy at work, Thursday is our last day, that means cleaning and organizing stuff, afterwards we will have a nice dinner together. I got my travel documents aswell, but the travel company sent it differently this time. They sent it trough E-mail, meaning, I have to print the documents. And I don't have a printer, my idea is to ask the office at work for a little time for me, so I can print them. I need them, cause there's a voucher on those documents what I have to take with me. So yeah, printing is a must this week. 

Berlin, Germany.

Gosh, time flies so fast, next Sunday my suitcase is packed and ready for a trip to Berlin, Germany. Five days I will be out of the house, five days without internet! Piece of cake!! I will enjoy my time the fullest, though it feels different then when I went to London, I was more excited then, then now. Germany is close by, it doesn't really feel I'm going on a holiday, I will have to go further then Germany. But I will have a good time, I never ever been in Berlin, so that's a good thing aswell. Next year I will go further, flying in a plane is on my list for sure next year. Aswell on my list... US or Canada, I think it will be the US, cause I think I'm not ready yet for Canada. I really don't know what it will do to me when I come back to Mississauga Canada, that can wait a few years.

Du, da, du, da, du, Picture time!

Du, da, du, da, du, Picture time! 

I didn't had plans this weekend, but I went out today either way. Slightly worried as usual about my money, but I went! I headed of to Enschede, Enschede is like a little Amsterdam, but then smaller and much closer to home. It took me thirty minutes with the train. I haven't been to Enschede for such a long time, the last time was actually with Saf and Abd when they visited me in Holland. That was in October 2010, that's almost two years. I really enjoyed my afternoon in Enschede, I nearly spoke it out loud there. Ofcource I took a few pictures.....

Welcome to the City of Enschede! 

There's many art in this City, statues, paintings, awkward objects and street art.

I saw many of such bikes recently, everywhere in Holland actually. I always wondered how it is to ride such bicycles. Kids in front and Mom or Dad on the saddle. 

I went to this shopping centre where I use to go, but this centre was almost empty. No people who were shopping and not many stores. Then I saw this cheese area, it was huge. 

Look at all these cheeses.... 

In the same centre there was a expo aswell, here you see self made furniture made from bamboo. 

 A self made Otto-man, made from leather. I like the colors.

Cow art, I thought it was not done to take a picture of this bizarre piece of art, but I did it anyway, In had to. There were many of those, but the price? Oh my, oh my. 

 The market in Enschede, I took this picture out of a window in a shopping centre. This market is huge, with lots of vegetables, fruit and fish.

Another shopping centre... Not much has changed though in this City but I really enjoyed my time there. 

 Like I said, fish aswell on the market. In many, many shapes.

One of the many statues in Enschede, 'A newspaper boy.'

The 'Grote Kerk' in Enschede, ( The Big Church in Enschede) 

There was an option to go inside the church, and so I did. Look at the big colored windows, I asked if I could take pictures inside, "As many as you want," they said. 

Preacher area. 

Another colored window, we call them 'glas in lood.' 

A statue dedicated to a huge fire disaster back in 2002.

A bizarre art painting in the middle of the city.. 

Weird and strange art objects aswell in Enschede, here you see an old German vehicle with a Mohawk.

Ofcource many bicycles in this City aswell, here you see a few of them at the train station. Train station? Yeah, I was heading home, it's been a good and a long afternoon. Time to go home.










Sometimes people here ask me if I'm already feeling at home here in Almelo, I was thinking about this aswell this afternoon. I can't really answer that, I guess I'm still floating between Almelo, Canada and my old village Nijverdal. It feels like I'm still traveling aswell, I still have to live longer here where I live to let it really feel like I'm at home. It's an awkward feeling though this, I moved quit alot the last five years. Aswell as a kid, me and my parents moved alot aswell. Though it's always nice to be back at my place, the place where I live now, and that's a good sign, right?

Rough Morning, nice afternoon.

Rough Morning, nice afternoon.

Again in the early morning I went right after I woken up to my little mailbox in the flat, ofcource there could be some mail for me what needs quick handling. And yes, sigh! There was mail what needed quick handling...and as soon as possible. One of the mails I had was from taxes, I needed to pay a BIG sum of money back and at first I didn't even know why... What I knew was that 1,it was from housing benefit, and 2, it was from the year 2012. I knew already that I had to pay back a sum of money from one month, but hey! Not from a whole year! I had to pay back all the money from 2012 what I had received from taxes, housing benefit anf health care benefit. "But why," I thought, "Why this much?" I had 'right' on those benefits from January until May from this year, in May I signed my working contract. So, I received un-necessary money in May and in June from taxes, 'that' sum of money I can understand I have to pay back.... 

The benefits from July until December from this year I will have to pay back too it said in the mail, but I never received that money, cause it's only July now! It was early but I was already puzzling how to pay this BIG sum of money back, (More then 2000 Euro) taxes wanted the money before the 1st of September on their account. It's July now, though there's an option to pay in terms, but still, sigh! Asking my Dad for help? Erm, maybe. Ugh, all these questions in my head, I was calm though and got to work. No breakfast, no wash up, I wanted this to be settled first, I needed answers, on my way to the taxes office. I was a little nerves cause taxes mostly has it right in there mails, I was sure I have to pay this BIG sum, but I wanted to know why. I was prepared when I walked in, I knew what to say, I had my papers with me for proof. I was right on turn and a friendly lady helped me, I told her my story and showed her the mail and my other papers.

She looked trough my mail and my other papers, and in the meanwhile she asked me some question. "Strange," she said. There was a number on the mail where she could see what's going on with my taxes. She logged into my taxes account and saw a quit BIG sum of money. She then asked me, "Is this all yours?" She turned the screen and showed me my income over the year of 2012, "I can understand why taxes stopped all your benefits now," she told me. I saw on the screen that my income from 2012 was more then a million Euro's!! "That's surely is not right," I stumbled. All my questions were answered, ofcource taxes stopped my benefits this week, not because I have a job now, no! But because my income over this year is more then a million!! LOL! A few months ago I had to inform taxes cause I have a job now. Taxes wanted to know what my income 'now' was since I have a job. 

I could do the 'informing' online trough my own taxes account. It's quit a puzzle, but I managed it. Though I filled it in wrong, I found that out now. Damn! "And now?" I asked the lady behind the desk, she told me that that was easy, "Inform them again, do a new filling in on your taxes account, fill in what your income will be over this year," Yeah, that was all, taxes will get the right sum of my income and will confirm this within 6 or 7 weeks. (taxes in Holland are always slow) "And the BIG sum of money I have to pay back then?" I asked the lady. "As soon as I get a second mail from taxes with the options how to pay them back in terms I can already pay them one little term. She replied, "You will receive that money back as soon they confirmed your new income over 2012. Okay, sigh. I needed help with the new filling in, so I asked the lady who helped me. "No problem, we are open until 5:00 pm," she said.

I returned home to pack all the papers what was needed for information for the 'informing,' when I got home I made first breakfast and did a quick wash up. After my breakfast I grabbed the 'needed' papers and took of again. The same lady helped me with taxes, and we both were done in a little fifteen minutes, quit a relief I must say. Though I hope taxes confirms quickly with the new informing, hopefully before the 1st of September. Otherwise I have to pay alot of money, but I have hope and trust, I think it will be alright. For the second time I returned home, this time for a good rest, and for sure a nap. Groceries needed to be done aswell today but they could wait for in the afternoon. First a rest! It's all good now. In the afternoon I did my groceries and took it easy further this day, I fried some zucchini with success, was nice.

Rain today, summer weather on his way next week.

Rain today, summer weather on his way next week. 

The hard rain woke me up this morning, that was a pretty tough rain cloud at 4:30 am! Woohoo, I thought, do I have to go trough that? I hoped not. I left my umbrella at work this week, though I had a rain-coat and rain-pants. It was 6:50 am, I though, "I'm off, it's nearly dry. But I got wet anyway, sigh! It was alright, the rain-coat and rain-pants came in handy.

Work was pretty rough today, they wanted me on two sections today. One Boss, asked me to help him and another Boss said no, cause I was needed there. Kinda funny that I was needed at two places, am I that good? Naah, it was just busy. I ended up for a little 30 minutes in the other  section and the rest of the day in my own section. I like to help out, I do the best I can.

At the end of the working day I felt exhausted, their had to be alot done, and I did my best. At 4:30 I was done and ready to go home for a well deserved rest. I think it will be a resting weekend, cooking, groceries and laundry, and lot's of enjoying my relaxing. But hey, who knows, maybe I will go out if the weather is good. I don't feel like spending to much money. I'm planning a long bike ride aswell these coming days. I'll see what these days bring.

"...How will I ever get rich?"

"...How will I ever get rich?" 

This morning after a nice long sleep I decided to walk first downstairs in the flat to check my mail, half awake and still in pyjama pants and slippers I walked down the steps. I was curious if I already got a message from the hospital for my electrocardiography appointment, I hoped it takes place on a free day, so that I wont have to ask for a few free hours from work. I had more then one mail when I opened the box, one was from the hospital, yes! And two more, one from taxes and one from Gak, oh? Wondering what they wanted now... Good news was that my hospital appointment is on a Friday, but it's not until the 24th of August, weird! I thought I was a kind of a emergency this electrocardiography, anyway.....


The other mail was from taxes, they had some bad news. My income will get shortened, social services has stopped their monthly income, cause I'm now above minimum wage since I have a payed job. And so has housing benefit... plus health care benefit, sigh. They really so don't want you to earn that tiny little extra, how will I ever get rich? Or enjoy finally the benefits for all the struggling and working I did. First thing I thought was, "But everyone has a right on housing benefit or health care benefit." Yeah, but not when your above minimum wage, like me now. I think the reason was that I was in a light shock was that I lived from welfare for such a long time that I got easily used to it. 

Although that, I still will hold the monthly income from Gak and from my job. Gak's money I will always keep cause of my sickness, I don't work for the fully five day's in the week, only three. But still, without the housing benefit and health care benefit I really have to keep an eye on my wallet. It was quit a sum of money (in my eyes) what I was getting, but that's stopped now. Ofcource I got worried and ofcource I was thinking, "Didn't I gave the right information, wasn't I mistaking?" I wanted to be sure and went to the taxes office here in this City. There they said, "It all has to do with your income, it's to high, that's why we shortened it." I would like to do a re-infilling again I told them, I can do a re-infilling on the taxes site online.

"That's okay," said the guy behind the desk. On the taxes site you have to fill in what you will be earning over the whole year, in short, they want to know your whole income over the year 2012. It's a bit of a puzzle but I managed, when I got the complete sum of my total income I took off the income for 7 months from Social Services. ('They' payed me until the month May from this year) When I wanted to confirm the new infilling I had doubts, was I sure? Did I do right? I logged off.... I guess I could use some help with this, just to be sure. I called Humanitas, and asked for help. Although I'm not living there anymore, I always can count on them when there's something going on when it comes to money, my house, my social life...etc.

Saturday morning at 10:00 I can visit Humanitas for a quick help with the taxes infilling, pffeeww relieved! I just want to get this right, not want any troubles anymore. Specially not with taxes. I struggled enough, when I have enough money to come around, I'm fine and wont complain. I know how it is to live with a small wallet.

Time flies!

Time flies. 

This day went by fast, before I knew it I was showered after work and sitting comfortable on the couch. Today's work was busy as usual, I like getting nice compliments, it gives me a boost and self confidence. But enough about work, it's nearly time for our Summer vacation. I'm still waiting for my traveling papers, which has the exact time for leaving, and much more information. Though they informed me and aswell the other travelers that a week before leaving they will send the papers. Just me being nerves, if I have the papers I will be fine. 

If I don't get them before the actual traveling time, then I will have to call them, and ask them for the papers. But I guess I'm worried about nothing again, lol, as usual. The weather in our little country has a dip at the moment, lots of rain and cold, the worst day will be Thursday, with rain, hail, thunder, and cold temperature. Though better days are coming they said, next week, sunny weather with high temperature. We just will see, right? Would be nice to have sunny weather with the Summer holiday. Where can I sign?!

A change has to come! No wait.... A change is gonna come... Hopefully!

A change has to come! No wait.... A change is gonna come... Hopefully! 

I need new people around me, I said it so many times, I know. But it's about time, I know creating new friends takes time, I know. But I can always make a start, right? But where to start.... I need to find something where I can go to every week, where a group of people are who I can see and meet every week. I will get to know them, and that's a start. That is my wish. Sometimes I'm thinking, "Am I not to much online? Am I not addicted to the Internet, socializing on the Internet? My answer is, "Yes, and no." More a no then a yes. Am I not to much on Facebook? Probably, but I think it's okay, though it's so very important to have 'other friends' beside my Facebook friends.

Hmm, imagine, you don't have much friends, and you start to look for  friends on online Facebook, or on any other socializing site. You can get attached to it, attached to the online friends, attached to the attention. Sounds familiar Sjon? Yes. Your online friends can suddenly leave Facebook or unfriend you, or, etc, etc. And then? Then you feel bad or sad or lonely, oh, maybe I'm just overreacting, yeah okay, a bit then. But like I said, it's good aswell to have 'Other friends beside the friends you have online, who you can't reach or touch, or even have a coffee with. Read: "It's better to have a social life too." My social life has made a start but in my eyes I'm still not there yet, there where I want to be.

I'm getting help with finding social contacts, cause it's quit difficult when there's not much to look for in this city. I will have to have a bit of luck aswell, and I search so hard. Another wish is to travel, oh yes, I said that aswell befoire, but traveling cost money, big money. Or? Uhm, just get my luggage and go? I don't even have to go far, Holland has nice sightseeings aswell. Sea life in The Hague, I always wanted to visit that. Within two weeks my Summer vacation starts, maybe then? Yeah, then! Today was a nice day at work, I did alot, and I stood on my own section. Was nice being around the fellow workers, tomorrow again. Hope the rain is stopping then, when I returned home I got soaked from the rain. And it's still raining. 

P.s: I forgot a post, oh my, oh my! 

How on earth I forgot to write a post? I write everyday, yeah, I had the post in drafts and forgot to post it! Silly me, but anyway, here's a short post from yesterday.... 


My Sunday was okay, resting was on top of my list. And that's what I did, plus the usual things what need to be done. The laundry had dried up and some of it had to be ironed, then there's the lunch prepairing for tomorrow's work. Cooking something different is a must on Sundays, tonight I had Italian risotto. That's a rice dice, I added mushrooms, zuccini and chickenbreast, delicious.

"Me and my big feet!"

"Me and my big feet!" 

I was in a shoe store looking for new cheap sporting shoes for my badminton lessons, ofcource I looked for size 44, (10-usa) but they didn't fit. They normally do but okay, on my way to size 45, (11-usa). That one was hmm, not really comfortable aswell, let's try a size 46 (13-usa). Perfect! But oh dear, did my feet really went two sizes bigger? I recently cutted my toe nails, so, that couldn't it be, lol. The ones I bought are black with here and there some white, I really like them. Though it was a tough job to find the perfect pair of shoes, the store had skate-board shoes, soccer indoor shoes, and aswell tennis indoor shoes. Some were really expensive aswell, but I didn't wanna spend my money on expensive ones.

This shoe store where I went was in my Dad's place, yeah, I decided to go to my Dad today. Allthough the weather-forecast forspelled heavy rain, and allthough there were some really dark clouds in the sky, it stayed dry the whole afternoon. Dad was doing fine, when I came in the nurses were about to weigh my Dad. He had to sit in a special chair where the nurses could see how much he weight, 85kg! Nice Dad! The nurses placed my Dad in his lazy chair afterwards, he looked at me a few times, I thought, "Your getting old Dad." I remember when he use to work so hard, and seeing him like this is a bit awkward. But hey, were all getting old, aren't we? I love you Dad!

I didn't stay that long, cause I had a few things more to do. It was busy in my old village, there was market and ofcource the stores were open. Though I like it more in the city where I live now, I wouldn't wanna live in this village where I used to live. I love the city! So, I bought the (tennis) shoes I needed, and I bought my last groceries. It was time to go to the train station and heading back to Almelo, my home. It's been a nice day, and I didn't even plan to go to my Dad, though I went, I'm glad I went. In four weeks precisely my Dad will turn 75! He will celebrate his Birthday in the place where he lives, I think in the restaurant downstairs. Hope it's gonna be a fun day for him. I'm gonna buy him a nice present.

"If or when you find the Summer, please send it to Holland."

"If or when you find the Summer, please send it to Holland." 

We Dutch can officially say now that 2012 had a horrible summer, like it usually is. There's no complaining about Spring cause Spring is always good here, sometimes Spring here feels like Summer, and then the so called Summer starts. This week we will have rain, and nothing but rain, it's to cold for summer aswell, only 15/16 degrees, that doesn't feel like Summer. Today my counselor came for the very last time, he handed me a few papers to round of the session of eight months, I had to sign them. It was nice seeing him, we had a few nice talks about music and a few other things. I'm on my own now, but it's all good. Everything is fine now, only the social contacts has to be better, I'm working on that until I found something. 

After the Summer vacation I will get help finding social contacts, a new counselor will help me finding something what will suit me. That can be a club, or a sport or a activity, just anything. Though I will not wait untill after the Summer vacation, I will be searching myself aswell. As a matter affect, I think I found something today. I went this evening to a recreation  badminton event, (say what?) Every Friday evening from 8:00 until 10:00 a bunch of people come together in a gym hall to play badminton, it's a society, or how you call it. This society has a staff, and members. I went there to have a look, and to see what it's like. I didn't join them for a game, which I could cause the attendant asked me. He was very friendly and explained me a bit how it all went in this weekly event. 


It was quit busy there, they all were playing their games. I really like what I saw, it gave me a boost of energy, I want to join this. I wished I brought my gym clothing, but wait! I didn't had any training shoes, I will have to buy some. The first four lessons are free," the attendant told me. Nice, so I can see if I can handle this, cause it's quit a input I saw, but I like it, it really gave me a good feeling. Next Friday I will be going there again and join them for a match, yay! Next Friday will be aswell the last time cause of the Summer holiday, in September they start again. Then I will be starting fully too. I think I found what I was looking for, let's see how it will go.

Sometimes I long for normal people around me...

Sometimes I long for normal people around me... 

Just had a great day at work, work went well, we had laughs, talks, just a good atmosphere. At the end of the working day I took off to the free dinner, the last free dinner for the Summer vacation. We had Chinese food and ice-cream afterwards, before the dinner one of the cooks did a speech, such a good and nice speech, some were in tears. It was quit busy aswell! After the dinner I joined some of the people outside as usual, I meet my weekly friends who I see during every free dinner, it's a nice getting together with everyone. Though there are homeless people too, and sometimes they are drunk. (sometimes? LOL) And some are from Humanitas, they are the so called 'normal people,' well normal people? The staff at Humanitas, (counselors, bosses, etc, etc) have always called a outsider, outsider in a good way. I'm like the real normal one. 

The others were not really high educated, or have a drug past, or have other heavy problems. Though I left Humanitas with having friends there, I see some of them every week with the dinner. Sometimes it's nice, but sometimes I really long for really normal people. I was standing outside after the free dinner, and there was a kid of one of my friends playing and annoying me with his football. I ignored it and fooled around with him a bit. But on a certain moment I was done with him, and told him to stop. He kicked his ball many times at me, I told him later on, "If I get the ball then I will get rid of the ball, you have been warned." After a while he kicked again and on a surprising moment I got the ball and kicked it over the fence. He had to walk pretty far to get the ball, "Get me my ball,"he said. "You get it," I said, you have young legs." He gets his ball, and kicks me once again, "That's for you," he says, for letting me walk so far." 

Then I grabbed his ear just a bit, and I told him, "That's for you, for not listening to me." He cried! And I felt bad, but was mad aswell. Her mom took a look at the wound and I apologized, least I could do. The kid had already a hurting neck, I didn't know. Another adventure: There's this teenage girl (a daughter from two of my friends. I like her, she's cute, though today she was annoying me with punching me and grabbing me, just to get attention ot to fool around. "Punch back," they told me, but I'm not like that, I don't hit or punch young people. Later on she stopped, not that I told her, but just like that. After a while she started again, and I told her with a laugh that she must stop now, otherwise I will be black and blue, (she punched hard, and mean) though it was all for jokes and laughs. How to handle this? I didn't know, I told her to stop many times, and in the back ground I heard many times, punch her back, and so I did. 

Not even hard I turned her arm on her back, and told her, "Beg for mercy!" It was all jokes, but she was hurt afterwards and yes, I had a another crying kid among me. Sigh! Now this girl is a bit of a drama queen, I twisted her bad arm, how did I know? Right? Her Mom told me about her bad arm and told me to come with her, "Come with me, let's apologize together." I felt bad, cause I can't stand crying kids, it gets me. Go away!" She said. And I went, oh yeah, I was done for today with these people, Then I really longed for normal people, like the people at work, where I can have a normal conversation with. I returned with a bad feeling towards home, "How can I make this all good?" I thought. Maybe they all think bad of me now," was my second thought, my third thought was, "Screw it, I need normal people." Though I tried to make it up with both the kids, I sent there Mothers on Facebook a message and a asking how they are.

See, I'm a normal person, LOL!

 One mother told me not to worry, the kid with the ball has already forgotten everything. Now the teenage girl was bad though, assuming to her Mom she twisted her arm and she had to go to a doctor and do a X-ray, I sanked deeper. Though I had doubts cause, were they telling me the truth? I checked another friend of them, and she told me that they were alright, they haven't been to a Doctor. I should not worry the friend told me, "Get over it," she said. I took a shower and got over it, what a end of a great day at work. Though I learned from it, I need to speak up more, and not be so kind perhaps. Let's bring this in practice. (p.s. I can be really good with kids but these kids were different, just like there parents. The teenage girl for example is living apart from their parents, the parents are living in a shelther.)

Electrocardiography...

Electrocardiography...

I went to my Doctor this morning, first I wanted  to wait until Friday, cause I felt quit alright last night. Though the slightly chest pain came back this morning, so, I though, "Why not just go?" I'm glad I went, just to get it over with. I called for an appointment and within a hour I was  at the Doctor's, pretty fast. I told her about my chest pain and what it might causes. Though the Doctor couldn't really bring home what it might be. I told her it could be nerves or stress, or perhaps the hard work I did the last few weeks. I described it well, the pain is precisely in the middle of my chest, it feels a bit like little cramps. Or like someone is squeezing softly my chest. I can do my daily things just normally, sure I feel sometimes out of breath when I make exertion, but I have that most of the time. I got used to it. I know exactly what I can do or what I can't do. I can be busy with things and feel great, though when it's getting to busy or to rough my body will give a sign. Then I will ease down or just stop.

My Doctor send me to electrocardiography in the hospital, (Hope I spelled it right) she will send a fax to the nearest hospital and there a cardiologist will help me further. The Doctor told me that I will have to get on a bike there, and at the same time they will look how my heart response on a monitor. Ofcource I'm a bit nerves, just the way I am, lol. But I didn't have to, the Doctor told me, "We do this for just in case." Yeah, but still. Oh well. The Doctor asked me aswell if I had any Family with heart problems or any other kind of disease, I replied with, "Not that I know off." I will get a letter from the hospital with a date on it when I can come, probably next week, or perhaps this week. Nervous? Hmm, yes and no. You know? A friend of mine told me that it could be the  respiratory muscle what cause the pain, stress on the respiratory muscle. That could be yes, I worry so now and then, worry about just little things. And that may cause the chest pain aswell, oh well , the Doctor knows best.

"No free dinners for 6 weeks?"

"No free dinners for 6 weeks?" 

Yup, the free dinner on Wednesday and Thursday are off for 6 weeks, like they always do once a year. It's Summer holiday for them, can't blame them. The always cook and serve meals for free, they deserve a little vacation. But wohooow! What to do for 6 weeks? I mean, now I have to cook for two extra days. This upcoming Thursday is the last meal and then they are 6 weeks off, it will be a 'something special' meal though. I don't know what we get, but I know it's something special, just like last year.

I had soup for dinner tonight, soup out of a bag, very nice. (See picture) It was goulash soup, and I loved it. I had some left over food from last Sunday, but that meal didn't work out the way I wanted, in the bin with it. It's been a long time since I had soup, I think I will announce Thursday as soup day... For 6 weeks long, LOL! And on Wednesday I will keep it simple and cheap. The free dinner on Monday just stays, these people don't do holidays. I'm happy with the free dinners, it taste good and saves alot of money.

Work went well today, gosh I went from left to right, from section A to section B, and from B to A again. I was needed, they said it literally. "Mirsjad (name fellow worker) needs you there," or, "We really need you here." It's nice to hear that, it gives me a boost. Though it was a bit hectic, I like to help out and I really do my best, but sometimes I have to think at my self aswell, right? This morning I went with the same chest pain as yesterday morning on my way to work, though I felt a tiny bit better. "I will see how it goes today," I thought.

And it went, yeah, slightly a bit better then yesterday, weird! It seems when I'm doing things and not think of the chest pain the pain is less. At the end of the day I was tired though, feeling exhausted, though I felt satisfied aswell. I managed to do alot, though I wanna lessen the hectic work, or the hasting in my work. I need to take more care of my health while I work. Though it feels great when I help out, or when I finnish something. I will have to keep an eye open that I'm not getting to excited or to enthusiastic. Ease on down the road Sjon!

Rain can be refreshing aswell...

Rain can be refreshing aswell... 

This morning when I went to work I was a bit worried about my chest pain, I wasn't surprised about the worrying, cause I knew I would be. I felt a light pressure on my chest when I woke up, and yes, swallowing food hurted a bit. When I took of towards work I went slowly, normally I cycle fast but this time I didn't. I was worried, though worrying makes it worse. I decided this morning to take it easy today, I thought, "I will just see what happens," the fresh air felt nice. Although the chest pain I felt enthusiastic when I arrived in the cantine at work, I saw the machines in the factory and I saw mats what weren't finished.

We are busy lately at work, I had to make several mats and I was ready for it, though I took care of my pain aswell. But it went, yeah, today's work was okay, I think the hard work and heavy lifting from last Thursday got me. I told a fellow worker this aswell, he told me that I have to say it when I can't handle the heavy work. I should yeah, and I will. Though sometimes I get to enthusiastic, and then I go for it. Weird enough I love it, it's hard work and I feel like I'm sporting then. I can't really describe that feeling, I feel exhausted but it's worth it, it gives a satisfied feeling. If my body gives a sign that I must stop or slow it down, I'm sure I will!

So, the pain in my chest? I don't know, it comes and goes. But I almost know that there's something not good, I will visit my Doctor Wednesday or Friday. Tomorrow I will work aswell, I will see how it goes then. I figured out today that this chest pain comes and goes, maybe it's just nerves or, I don't know. Doctor's know best, right? I think I will call him Wednesday morning for a appointment. No, I WILL call him Wednesday morning!

"Cooking? Keep it simple Sjon."

"Cooking? Keep it simple Sjon." 

And I will keep it simple from now on, sigh, lol! I will just stick to the easy and small recipes, how to cook  carrots or how to cook beans. Sure I can cook and prepair dinner, but if it's getting to difficult then I will skip it. It has to be tasty aswell, we all have different tastes in food, right? I tried three different meals this weekend, I failed with one, I nearly failed with two. And I ended up with two full bags of groceries and almost a empty wallet. First of was the baked cauliflower on Friday, I told already that the cauliflower was expensive, sigh! On the YouTube video they told me that the cauliflower should be cut ed and cooked first, that went easy. Then I needed to make a kind of a sauce to dip the pieces cauliflower in, flower, milk, two un-boiled eggs, salt & pepper, melted butter and olive oil.

My kitchen started to be a mess. The dip for the cauliflower failed, there was no way I could dip something in that, it was all a cluttered mess. I made a new dip, lol, but this time I used just the flower, salt & pepper and some herbs. The dipping went fine and the baking pan was ready to bake the dipped cauliflower, I crossed my fingers hoping it all went well. I had no clue how long to bake them, but it went. The potatoes were already cooked, and the cauliflower was nearly done, time to serve it, and try it out. And? It was okay, I guess a bit to much flower. Next time lessen the flower, if theirs a next time! LOL!

Saturdays meal was a fail, I took this recipe from YouTube aswell. Italian potato salad with goat cheese, and it seemed so easy. Maybe it became a failure because I left out some ingredients, I don't like black olives, and I don't like capers and garlic. I had to cook the potato's first, easy I could cook potatoes with my eyes closed. After boiling them I cut them into smaller pieces, I nearly burned my fingers. I cut the goat cheese into smaller pieces aswell. Then the sauce for the salad, ingredients what I used were.... 

Six table spoons olive oil, 20 gram parsley, (I used more then 20 gram, sigh) one teaspoon of thymus, one table spoon of vinegar and salt & pepper. I cutted the parsley and added the six tablespoon of olive oil in a bowl. After I stired up the parsley I added the thymus, vinegar (yack) and added afterwards the potatoes and goat cheese, stir, stir, stir, done. Result? Well, it looked nice but it tasted yack, lol. To much parsley, the goat cheese went warmer cause of the warm potatoes and the vinegar gave a weird after taste. Never again! LOL!

Turkish Bulgur, thatwent good, although it tasted a bit to salty. It was a easy recipe, I bought a package from the supermarket and it only needed a few extra ingredients, as the package said. Bulgur you can compare with couscous, it's easy to make IF you have the right baking pans, which I didn't had. I had to cook the bulgur in a regular pan, the same pan where I cook my potatoes in. On the package it said I needed a large cooking pan, but that pan was already in use, lol, for the sauce. The sauce was easy, add this add that and done. I used for the sauce, one onion, one green pepper, one tomato, two tablespoons of olive oil, tomato paste and...

Chicken breast. Although I didn't like tomato's, I used them anyway, I didn't wanna mess this up aswell. Though the bulgurr was 'uhm' hard to decide how to cook and where in. I used the cooking pan, I added a bit of water and a little piece of butter. When the water cooked I added the bulgur and stired like a maniac, I was afraid the bulgur would burn right trough the pan. The bulgur was done in five minutes, I stir untill the water was steamed away. The sauce for the bulgur was already done. Result? It was okay, just a bit to salty cause of the tomato paste I think, of all the meals I made this weeknd I say the bulgur was the best. 

This last week I haven't been feeling so well, even now I'm so so. I don't know why, but I feel a light presure on my chest, when I swallow food or drink I feel sometimes a tiny little stab or a pinch on my chest aswell. Ofcource this worries me, and worrying ofcource makes it worser. Do I work to hard? Is it the food changing I did the last four weeks? Is it the heat? Or is it a mixture of everything I just summed up? I have worked hard lately, yes , but I did that the last six months aswell, so I don't know. Food changing? Lately I eat different, mostly fresh and differnt kinda veggies ans seasonings. I like structure in my life, no wait...

I have structure in my life and when somethings changes then my body reacts to that change. perhaps my body reacts on the fresh veggies or different spices or seasonings. It's been warm aswell this last week, extremely warm in the house. When I get up in the morning I feel a bit short breathed, and feel that light chest pressure aswell. Perhaps I need more air in my house, or drink more water, I don't drink that much. I'm just not thirsty. I will see how it goes this week, if it still bothers me then I will see my Doctor. I'm so not a fan of Doctors, but yeah, feeling not well isn't fun either. Ugh!

I wish food wasn't so expensive...

I wish food wasn't so expensive...

I planned not that much this weekend, I decided to do my groceries in two days. One load on Friday and the rest on Saturday, perfect. Though the first load was quit expensive, grrr! I wasn't expecting that, or? Well, I wanted to prepair two different meals this weekend, just to give it a try. First I wanted to try baked cauliflower and second a potato salad, I found the recipes on the internet. Ofcource these meals needed ingredients, for the 'baked cauliflower' I needed ofcource a cauliflower but aswell flower plus salt and pepper. The flower and the pepper weren't so expensive, but (damn) the cauliflower was way expensive! 2 Euro and 79 Euro cent, and it was just a tiny one. Though I just bought it, cause I needed one. While shopping further in the store a woman told me " Next time you need cheap veggies you better go to a Turkish store, it's much cheaper there." She was right, but I forgot to think about that, the market is a good option too.

Took a few pictures today, a nice little harbor in our city. As you can see it's still nice and gorgeous weather here.

For the potato salad I needed goat cheese, (what I couldn't find first) parsley, thymus and vinegar. This recipe needed aswell black olives, garlic and capers, but I like none of those. I couldn't find the goat cheese first but it was laying with the other expensive cheeses. (sigh) I payed for 150 gram 2 Euro and 3 Euro cent! I thought, "This was once and probably never again." Ofcource I wouldn't have to buy all this, but I was determine to make this potato salad, so NO nag, nag. Sure I needed more groceries then only these ingredients, I ended up paying the groceries with a worried head, lol. I didn't expect that the price was that high, and still I needed more groceries, not much but still. This was once I thought, and never again, I need to buy cheaper groceries, or find other stores, markets, ethnic food shops/stores what are much cheaper with their food. Though it's so much fun sometimes to find a recipe and get the ingredients and try it out. 

Same harbor, I love to just sit here and stare... it's calming.

I opened up a savings account today, I want to save money for a trip next year. Flying is to expensive for me this year, but I miss so much. The trip I want to save money for is a trip to the US or Canada, or perhaps both. It's always been my dream to visit the US, and Canada? Well, I want to visit  Canada once again, it's a great country and I still have a few friends there. Mississauga it will be then, I won't visit Saf though, that would be mega awkward and probably weird. It won't be good for me either, nor for her and the kids, so no. Opening the savings account was quit easy, though I had to go to my bank first to ask for some information. I had three saving accounts to choose from, it all had to do with 'interest,' it was all new for me, my bank helped me out and it's all good now. First I had doubts to open one, But I glad I did it.

Badminton?

Badminton? 

I'm still looking for activities, and I added 'activities for singles,' aswell to my list. Recently I have that 'lonely' feeling coming up more and more, I don't know, it just came like out of knowhere. It's a oblivious feeling though, ofcource I'm having that  'lonely' feeling sometimes, I am alone! Searching for activities and social contacts calms me, there's always something but you have to search for it and you have to have some luck aswell so now and then. When I search I mostly look on the internet, Google is my favorite, and ofcource I look in the weekly newspapers and flyers. Sometimes I give the searching a rest, but today I started again. 

Today I looked for single activities and recreation sports, with the single activities I had doubts, I don't know but, it gives me a bit of a pressure. Like, "Oh when I go to a single event, I guess all the single ladies will observe me and are waiting for me to talk." Or, "...That I have to make the first attempt, oh, the pressure only thinking of that!" I rather join a club or sport or whatever and when then a nice lady crosses my path and there's a click, I will go for it. Rather that then having the pressure of, "Oh, I must!" I looked for recreation sports aswell and saw a badminton site, and this badminton club is in my city aswell. I got interested, everyone can join this, and they play every Friday night from 8:00 till 10:00, perfect! 

Though badminton is a busy activity, you have to have a good condition. This week I have been busy with work and yesterday was almost crazy, I have a bit of muscle pain, and I feel a pressure on my chest. The muscle pain is fine, I don't mind it, but the pressure on my chest worries me a bit. Joining badminton then worries me aswell, but I can always have a look and a talk with them, right? Last night when Ina dropped by we talked aswell about social contacts and activities, she is searching aswell. When I mentioned badminton her reaction was, "Oh that's nice, maybe I could join you, so we can go together.

 I thought, "Oh, okay I don't mind that, should be fun." We laughed when she asked me what she had to wear while playing badminton. Ina doesn't like polo-shirts! I told her you can put on every gym or fitness outfit.I don't know about Ina yet, but I'm gonna inform about this badminton event this upcoming week. What a warm day today, all the warmth is inside the house now aswell, I have nothing planned this weekend, only grocery buying, lol. I need alot, and I did my first ansd second load already today, tomorrow the last small part. But more about that in tomorrow's post.... Tea time!!

Sweating, sweating and sweating..

Sweating, sweating and sweating..

A extremely hot, warm day today! Almost unreal to go to work, but duty was calling today. Were busy, oh yeah, it's almost nuts. We have to work for two people it seems, sweating, heavy lifting and moving along. I worked on the same section like last Monday and last Tuesday, we had to make some mats and they had to be done for tomorrow, huge mats, all in several parts and shapes. I build a few mats, then I saw several mats. I actually saw alot of mats, it was tough and quit difficult, but I managed it. That gave a proud feeling. I saw the mats on a big electric saw, they had to be on a certain lenght, and correct. I was exhausted after work, it felt heavy on my chest, I guess today was just a bit to much.

After the free dinner I sat for a little while and jumped then under the shower. Rest is what I needed, and that's what I did. I sat for 5 minutes and then Ina wanted to come for a cuppa coffee, (I got a message on FB) Always fun having her for a visit, we talked and had a few jokes. She talks alot about her ex, but I don't mind, I enjoy talking to her, and she does with me. She is a good friend, I should have more of those. This morning I had a 'feel lonley' moment so out of knowhere. Most of the time I'm fine and okay with being alone/single, but just that sometimes you just have a moment of loneliness as a single person,just  needing that arm around you or someone who fills that little empty space, if you know what I mean....

 I hear sometimes people saying, "You must not wait for the right person to come along, go find that person, get to work, start dating maybe." I know, people should not wait, though I'm not waiting, I enjoy life, I'm quit happy, I enjoy the little things around me. But just that sometimes....I know it's just a moment.  Perhaps it's better to wait for a better moment then, lol. Moments are passing by so fast, beforeI know it's tomorrow. A new day, a new dawn, better moments for sure, I'm positive! Ina's visit was nice, I should have more visits, or I need to visit more...

"I will let hear from me as soon as I found something."

"I will let hear from me as soon as I found something." 

So, I went to a second vollunteers agency this morning, it was quit busy there. I told them my story and a few ladies helped me quickly, it was quit chaotic I must say. I'm looking for something in the weekends, my goal is to get more and more social contacts, like a group of friends or just people I know. Though they couldn't help me right away, they had something for me but that was on the day I'm working. A group of people go for a walk on every Tuesday-morning and Thursday-morning, I could just join them and so are other people. But yeah I have work then, pity! Further they had some vollunteers work for me including working or taking care of disabled people, or eldery people who are lonely or not able to go out. 

'That is not my thing, I do care about such people, but it's just to heavy on my heart. I'm not the right person for that, like I said I care, but I care TO much, and that's not healty. I couldn't leave it alone when I got home, so no, not my thing. They asked me aswell if I have been to other vollunteers agencies, I told them I was. It was quit busy in the building, people were walking in and out. The best thing what they could do for me was searching for me and look if there's something comes along what suites me, I left my le-mail and phone number. Oh well, maybe they will call me, I hope they do. When I walked out the lady told me, "I will let hear from me as soon as I found something."

Such a nice weather today, I went out for a bit in the morning and in the afternoon. Cycled and cycled, it's nice riding my bike with such weather. There's a path leading all the way to Germany in my city, though it's quit far, more then 60 km, though I would like to try it one day. Just taking my time while riding my bike, if I do that I can come along way. Oh, the place where they hold the free dinners are being renovated. The dinning room looks so much better then it used to was, oh yes! Nice new tables, a new laminate floor, walls have been painted, new chairs. It's such a difference as it was before, it looks like a brasserie now. It's still a pleasure to eat there, hats of for the renovation!!

Pictures from work!

Pictures from work! 

Nothing to anounce, nothing to declare, nothing to say, lol. It was just a day like usual, tou can compare it with yesterday. I did the same work, after two days punching holes into metal trough a machine there is a chance you can get annoyed. I had a few moments today, yes! But further it went, I got alot done this day and yesterday, I can be proud of myself. After two day sweating (it's warm) and working, it's to for a resting day. Tomorrow the weather will be nice aswell, Thursday there's a chance for thunder and rain.

Work!

The mean machine! This is the machine where I worked with the last two days. You see the stealen pins? The punch the holes in the material. Kedeng! Earplugs needed. 

The mean machine again, it punches 25 holes at once... 

The material where the holes been punched trough... This material is needed the hold the carpet. (or other material) 

The mats, these mats are just a part of a whole mat. 

Zoomed in on a mat. You see the material what goes in. Aluminium and carpet/rubber.  Many stores uses such kinda mats, we can make them in many shapes, even round mats.

The complete mat, it's ready to export to Amsterdam. Where the mat will be layed in a store by one of our profesional layers. 

Two of the fellow workers who make the mats! This section where I wored thge last two days, is not the section where I usually work. They make other kind of mats here... 

My working shirt, my pride and joy. I hope to work here untill I'm 65 or longer. 

This is Minie, she works hard, oh yes! She's over 60, and I never seen someone of her age work so fast and hard. After work she does vollunteers work for disabled people. Respect! 

Minie again, she looks so healty. I surely wouldn't give her over 60!

Tomorrow's Wednesday.... let's see what that day brings. I hope alot of Sjon-shine.

Just another manic Monday!

Just another manic Monday! 

What can I say about this day? Not much really, Monday is a working day, and work went well. I worked at a other section, not that fun, but okay. I did what I had to do, working with one machine a whole day, this machine punches holes into a mat. It's kinda boring but I always try to find a way to make it not boring. I try to do it fast, uhm, I try to do it that it goes easier and faster, that's my way of working. I always try to make it easier and a bit faster. It makes it less boring. Tomorrow I will be working at the same section, oh well, I don't mind. There's a guy at the office and he does the planning, he plannes every worker on the sections. Sometimes this section has it busy or that section has it busy, it just depends what customer we have. 

But enough about work, I'm enjoyning my free evening, lol. I'm planning to sign in at another vollunteers company this coming Wednesday. (that will be the second one)  I need to start working more and more on my social contacts. Sometimes I just let it be for what it is, that's not good. Wednesday I will sign up, I will visit the company and I will see and hear what they have to say. This company is easily to compair with the other vollunteers company, I'm pretty excited to go. My counselor has signed me up for 'Buddy wanted,' it's also a vollunteers company, but then slightly different. I will get a counselor (again) and he or she will help me to find something what involves vollunteers work, a day activity, social contacts, etc, etc. 

The counselor will help me for a short time period, well short? For 8 or 9 months he or she will help me around. Can't wait!! I need to get started!