I have my Christmas presents ready, wrapped and signed, I hope it's gonna be a nice day, I'm in need of a nice day! Everyone seems so cold towards me, or is it just my imagination? I can't just ignore when there acting cold and move on. I wish everything was ready to return back to Holland, like luggage's packed, the flight booked, a place to stay in Holland, and enough money to get around. It's getting on my nerves and things worries me, I need a deadline. If the flight is booked I would be happy, that will be my deadline, if that's settled then I MUST get a place to stay and I MUST pack my luggage's! Then I will have too!
Today was alright I guess. I needed a talk with Saf. But she was busy with changing the sleeping rooms around and I didn't wanna bother her. I'm very carefully towards her lately cause it seems everything I do or say is wrong, and all I want is to have a nice time before I go, no argues or angry words. Sometimes you just got to leave her alone, you know, private space, we all need that so now and then. I asked her while she was making dinner if she had some time for me 'after' dinner. "I'm busy" she said. "What do you need me for then, you wanna ask me something"? I said "Yes, about the money for the flight, they need a credit card on that site". Saf responded "Do you have the money already?" I said "No." "First I need the money from you then I will help you with using my credit card," she responded!
She sounded hard and wasn't so nice. "It's not that easy to get 900 Dollar in a few days, right? and I don't have to ask my Dad again, cause he doesn't want to" I said. "Well, that's not my problem, see how you get money together, stop buying stuff and sell your belongings, you don't have to ask me how to get money," Saf replied. I got upset but didn't say anything. I don't understand things anymore, I wish I knew. I went to do something. I called a few second hand stores and some record stores, and asked them if they were interested in used cd's and dvd's. And they were. (a little yay!) I could just bring them and they will look trough it. Further I posted a few items on Kijiji and Craigslist. It was a antique chair, a little coffee table and 2 speakers. There mine.
I posted the used cd's and dvd's aswell on Kijiji. Saf asked me if I'm selling aswell the antique chair, cause she wanted to hold it for herself (she's in love with it) I said "Well, yes, cause I need the money, right? I would like to hold on to it," she said. "I need the money, 200 Dollar and it's yours" I responded! I was short in my sayings cause she was short in her sayings to me aswell when I asked her for her credit card to borrow for booking the flight. "Okay",she said, "It's fine, do what you have to do, it's fine" and I went on with posting. I hate being in this situation, I wish everyone would be nice, cause I'm trying aswell to be nice.
It's not easy being in a break up and realize that I have to start all over again with completely nothing. I have my weird and crazy moments too. I feel that I'm changing while being in this situation, this is not me. Alot of people responded on my speakers and some on my cd's, Tomorrow they will come have a look, I'll keep my fingers crossed! Saf went of to work and didn't say much, I will try to talk to her tomorrow why she is like this. Tomorrow will be the day that she goes to Mississauga to pick up 2 of her daughters.
