The usual sleepless night before a trip...

The usual sleepless night before a trip...

Everything went well yesterday, suitcase is packed, got the house clean and tided up before the trip, etc, etc. Then off to bed on a nice time, though I wasn't even tired, I thought, "I will fall asleep anyway." Yeah, I thought! But I didn't, I was clearly awake and my Turkish neighbors were loud again. It was alright as always, but this time it wasn't, the little worries and m awaken made it only worse.

"Why are they so loud?" I thought, "Can't they talk normal?" It was late aswell, I went to bed around 10:30 pm, and at 12:00 pm the neighbors were still loud. Then I knew it, 'Ramadan,' they wait until a certain time and then they all eat together. There are several Turkish people in the flat, so yeah, that's why. I took it for granted, and fell asleep late. Around 2:00 am I woke up and felt I slept for 30 minutes.

At 4:00 am I woke up and decided to get up and wake up slowly, there were a few little things more to do before my take off. I will try to have a sleep in the bus, I had it before that I couldn't catch my sleep before a trip, it's surely not my first time. Though it doesn't feel good, but anyway, off to Berlin, Germany! I will catch you readers on a Thursday or on a Friday, lol, I don't even know when I will be back. That doesn't matter either, it's gonna be lots of fun, and that matters!

Suitcase is packed... I'm ready to go!

Suitcase is packed... I'm ready to go!

Alot done today, getting everything ready for take off. Cleaned and dusted the rooms a bit, packed my suitcase, emptied the fridge as it comes to 'what can go bad if I leave it there for a week.' I bought one bread to much last week, so I ated bread nearly two times a day, for breakfast and lunch. Yes, I have a freezer, but that thing doesn't work so well. Perhaps time for a new one in the near future. Though I love my old second hand freezer, it has that ol'classic look. Excited for the trip? Yeah, it's starting, but the nerves are there too, lol. Have I enough with me in my suitcase? Should I take two or three trousers? Did I pack my passort now? Yes or no? 

Lots of statues in Berlin.

And funny street art, lol, try to get your parking ticket out of that machine.

Tomorrow at this hour I will be in Berlin I guess, it's not that far as London. No computer for a week, oh dear, naah, piece of cake!! I'm actually looking forward to it, being without the net for a week, it will be easy. My blog can have a rest aswell for a week. though I will have a little notebook with me and several pens, to write everyday a short story about what I went trough that day. Just like I did with London. So, tomorrow I will be off, and last night I looked already for some new travel sites for a new next trip. I want to go just like last year between Christmas and New Year. Though I couldn't find anything what suits me, maybe I'm to early.  I heard the weather will be good in Berlin, grey tomorrow but not cold, later in the week lots warmer with lots of Sjon-shine.

One more day... One more night!

One more day... One more night! 

Am I excited to go to Berlin? Uhm, it goes actually, but the closer it gets the more exciter I get. Still it feels like I'm going on a holiday in my own country, Germany is surely not that far. I got informed and the trip will only take a little 5 hours, I heard that Berlin is awesome though, so it should be good. I will be packing my little suitcase and handbag tomorrow, plus the usual things to do for a trip. Cleaning the house a bit, do my last ironing, make sure I got everything locked up or locked off, and checking twice I got my tickets and passport. And everything else what is needed for the trip.

The usual nerves are starting a bit aswell, lol. How will it be being on a holiday again? What kinda people will there be with the excursion? What if the bus doesn't show up? Oh well, in the end everything will be fine, I will be sure to check everything more then twice, I'm good at that, sometimes even a bit to much. But that's good. I'm a good timer aswell. I had the idea of buying a new camera aswell today, I had that idea already for a long time though. I take alot of pictures, I love taking pictures. Usually when I have the idea of buying something, I will buy it either way. So yeah, I bought a camera. 

New camera.

Old camera.

I went to two electronic shops, the first shop had amazing camera's, but this shop is known as expensive! The seller showed me a few camera's, though I was looking for a Canon camera, just a small one, just like my old one. But this shop didn't had Canon, the seller showed me camera's of Nikon and Fuji. Such a nice camera's but the price made me almost faint. More then 400 Euro! Not in a 400 years I would spend on a camera that expensive! The other electronic shop I went to is a shop where I go often, good quality and sometimes cheap. Seeing all those fine new cameras there made me buy one. I bought a Sony, nice and small. See picture above. 


Ofcource the seller wanted to charge me more with a one year warranty, and a camera bag. A warranty should be come automatically in my eyes, but anyway. I had a price limit in my head before buying a camera, when I bought the camera I was under my limit, all good. It was a nice day, rested alot and the weather was better then yesterday. It rained all morning, in the afternoon the sun came back. Though the temperature was much less then yesterday still it felt warm. It felt good to be outside though, shorts and t-shirt.

Waiting for the rain... to cool off.

Waiting for the rain... to cool off. 

It's just to warm to do anything in the house, usually I'm on the laptop in the evening, but I closed it a few times cause it's just to darn warm. Rain and thunder is on his way, pffeeww, if were lucky we will get some in the middle of the night. I might even go for a walk just before going to bed, a nice and fresh breeze is what I need. This morning felt nice, I opened all doors and a few windows, that felt good. I had some luck aswell today with my flat tire, I thought I would loose my bicycle for the rest of the day today, just because the bike repairer might have it busy also with other repairs.

I was on my way to the repairer early in the morning, I knew it would be quit a walk. I took a short cut trough the train station, and there I saw aswell a bike repairer, I thought, "Hey, ofcource, the train station has a bike repairer too." I stopped for a few a seconds and thought, "Shall I go here or go further?" I decided to go further but after ten seconds I turned around and went back to the 'train station bike repairer.' I went inside the shop and saw a old man busy with a bike, I told him what was wrong with my bike and he told me he could fix it right away. 

Then I asked him when I could pick the bicycle back up again, I told him that I live close by. "No need too," said the repairer, "You can wait for it, it only takes a few minutes." Wonderful! My bike will be ready in a few minutes, who would have thought that? Surely not me... I had a nice little chat with the repairer, and after he was done he charged me with a small 12 Euro, not bad at all! I already planned that I would do my grocery shopping walking, but that was different since my bike was repaired so quickly. I did my groceries, and went home.

I figured I didn't need much groceries, because I will be off to Berlin this coming week, and there's no work either. Less food! I was excited what I had bought though, and the price was fine. I took a nice bike ride in the afternoon after my nap, today's the last day it will be this warm, so I thought, "I'm gonna spend it well." It was warm but the bike ride felt good. That's just me, lol, I have to get out on such warm days, I just love it to grab my bicycle and just take off.

Warmst, tomorrow even warmer, ugh!

Warmest, tomorrow even warmer, ugh! 

I nearly fainted today at work, it was that warm. It was quit a busy morning aswell, I did alot but felt good, although it was warm. Just before the lunch break I bended down on my knees to repair something, when I got up I went pale and a bit dizzy. "That's it," I thought, "I'm taking it easy now." Perhaps I was a bit TO busy. I can stand heat quit well though, I think this was the first time I nearly fainted from the heath. It took a while when I felt a bit better again, after the lunch I continued my work, but took it easy. Not that fun working with more then 30 degrees Celsius.

At 3 'o' clock, we cleaned up and at 4 'o' clock we sat down to have a nice meal together, a few fellow workers prepared a little area in the factory were we could sit and eat. The staff hired some food, drinks and snacks, there were a few tables and chairs where we could sit. The food was good, we had different kinds of Oliver salad, satay, shawarma and lots of drinks, including wine and beer. It was nice sitting with each other, no chance of feeling left out for me. Great bunch of guys. After an hour I took off, more people were going, so...

Everyone wished each other happy holidays and went home. Now, when I wanted to grab my bike I saw I had a flat tire, sigh! But I cycled home anyway, a fellow worker cycled with me. He lives near me and cycles most of the time with me towards home. I can repair a flat tire but I don't have the tools for it yet, I will bring my bike to the bicycle repairer tomorrow, it's the same one where I bought my bike from. Maybe he will shorten the money when he fixes my flat tire. I will have to walk tomorrow with my bike, but that's okay. Only a little 3 km, I walked further then that before.

Warm, warmer, warmest!

Warm, warmer, warmest! 

So warm outside, but I'm not gonna complain! Everyone here in Holland complained about the not having a Summer this year, now we have a few days of Summer, and I love it. I rested in the morning, took it easy and took a nice nap. In the afternoon I went for a bike ride, a long bike ride. I thought I'm not gonna sit at home with this nice weather, so, off I went. 

I always wanted to bike all the way to Germany, no, it isn't that far. With a car you can be in thirty minutes in Germany, with a bicycle ofcource a bit longer. There's a canal here in the city where I live, and they say when you follow that canal all the way up East, you will pass Germany.  I didn't want to go all the way to Germany today, cause I have work tomorrow aswell. I wanted to try this route for a little while, seeing and testing how far I would come.

Here you see a part of the canal, I was still in my own city still. It was a nice bike ride, I was stunned to see the long, long bike path next to the canal.

It was quit busy aswell, I saw many cycle's on the path, mostly elderly people. 

We call this thing a 'Paddestoel,' you can see on it where you have or want to go, and how far it is in kilometers. Paddestoel = Mushroom. Cause it has the shape of a mushroom. I needed to go to Ootmarsum, still 10 kilometers to go. When I'm in Ootmarsum I will see a sign how far it is to Germany. 

My first stop, time for a apple and a bottle of water. I was thinking to turn around, cause I was STILL feeling okay, but I have to ride the whole way back aswell, tomorrow I have to work aswell. "Just a little bit further," I thought. 

Yeah, that was it for me, the point of returning. 2 kilometers of Ootmarsum, next time I will go further. It's a nice ride, peacefull and quiet, no traffic at all. And you can't go wrong if you keep following the canal. I saw alot of these little bridges what you see on the picture. 

Back in Almelo I saw these deers in the park, they have this weird ritual almost always on extreme warm days. It's kinda awkward to see this, cause I never have seen this before. Funny aswell. 

The Boss himself, nicely sitting in her own spot. I could see she was enjoyning the cool water, she had her eyes closed.












It's warm in the house, I have a pillow and a kitchen towel underneath my laptop, otherwise I would burn my legs. Tomorrow will be a warm day aswell, then we get some cooler days in the weekend. I had a reply back from Saf aswell, she wrote me a email yesterday, asking me how my Summer was or is. She was nice and answered my questions, just a nice and regular email. Saf asked me in her reply if we could un-block each other, and I thought, "Yeah, why not?" I told her, "Yeah, let's see how it goes." 

When I got back from Canada in January 2011 I blocked her on Facebook, Saf did the same. I needed the blocking for my healing, and I really had to focus on other important things. I have un-blocked Saf, I will just see how it goes. I'm not gonna add her as a friend, cause that won't be good for me, or for us. I want to keep it as it is, I like how it is. I might have a 'fall back' when I see her comments or pictures from her and the kids to much, so no. We can always choose to write each other a mail...

Loving the weather!

Loving the weather! 

26 degrees and no dark cloud in the sky, tomorrow even warmer. I guess I will take it easy in the morning tomorrow, get some rest and probably a power nap. I'm tired, though I worked just as usual today. Sure it was busy, but it's always busy, maybe the suddenly warm weather got me tired, last week it was 14 degrees, and now 26. These houses where I live can get warm too, though I slightly can stand the heat. Weird that we still get so much orders just for the Summer holiday, customers want mats before the holiday, no matter what. It's almost insane, I told my fellow workers today that we have only two hands, were not super men. 
When I got back from work I looked in my hotmail, and I saw a unexpected mail from Saf. 

First thing what came trough my mind was, "What does she want from me now?" Or, "What's going on?" Yeah, I still have sometimes that awkward or nervous feeling when Saf writes a mail, not that much as I use too though. I use to stumbe with my words aswell, carefully writing my words, but not anymore now. (Just being friendly) Now, she doesn't write mails that much though, only for a reason. So when she does, it gives me a bit the creeps, lol. The last few times she mailed she asked me for money, or that I owed her money, so yeah... (P.s, usualy I'm the one who writes an email to her, once in a half year or once a year) Anyway, Saf asked me how I was doing and how my Summer is going... I answered Saf and I will wait for a reply, nice of her that she mailed. 

I'm ready!

I'm ready! 

I'm ready for Berlin, I got my tickets from online. I asked one of my fellow workers if it was possible to use a computer plus internet here in the office to print my Berlin tickets, he said, "Yeah, sure, I did it myself aswell when I needed my airplane tickets." For just to be sure I asked one of the ladies from the office aswell during our lunch break, "Sure, no problem," all I needed to know. Right after lunch I went with one of the ladies to the office, "Wait here," the lady said, "I'll be right back. All of a sudden the Boss walks in and asked me how I was doing, I answered, but felt awkward towards her. 

Just because my Boss didn't know what I was doing in the office, and she looked at me with a look as, "What are you doing here?" It didn't feel right what I was doing. My Boss went away but came back after two minutes, she asked me what I was doing here, she was friendly. (Told ya, she wanted to know what I was doing here, lol) I'm not that much at the office so it was a bit awkward. I told my Boss about the tickets, and that I needed some help, and then asked if I could use the computer. My Boss wasn't happy with it, I could tell, but she was still friendly. She said...

"Normally we don't do such things, and you should have come to me for asking, plus we don't like it that you do such thing whit working time," she said. She went on, "But okay, for once you can use the computer, this lady here can help you." I felt relieved but bad aswell, lol. Relieved I can use the computer, and bad because I should have asked my Boss first, yes, sigh. Anyway, it won't happen again, cause I'm not like that, I'm not sneaky. Though I thought it was okay cause of the fellow worker told me so, plus the office lady who said, sure and okay, so I thought it was fine. Anyway, I got the tickets, and my Boss isn't mad. All good!

Finally some nice weather ahead.

Finally some nice weather ahead. 

Tomorrow we have 25 degrees, finally! It's been to cold and to wet the last couple of weeks, to cold for the time of year. I hope the warm weather sets trough and lasts, lasts three weeks or longer. One more week and then my Summer holiday starts, slightly a full week though. Still busy at work, Thursday is our last day, that means cleaning and organizing stuff, afterwards we will have a nice dinner together. I got my travel documents aswell, but the travel company sent it differently this time. They sent it trough E-mail, meaning, I have to print the documents. And I don't have a printer, my idea is to ask the office at work for a little time for me, so I can print them. I need them, cause there's a voucher on those documents what I have to take with me. So yeah, printing is a must this week. 

Berlin, Germany.

Gosh, time flies so fast, next Sunday my suitcase is packed and ready for a trip to Berlin, Germany. Five days I will be out of the house, five days without internet! Piece of cake!! I will enjoy my time the fullest, though it feels different then when I went to London, I was more excited then, then now. Germany is close by, it doesn't really feel I'm going on a holiday, I will have to go further then Germany. But I will have a good time, I never ever been in Berlin, so that's a good thing aswell. Next year I will go further, flying in a plane is on my list for sure next year. Aswell on my list... US or Canada, I think it will be the US, cause I think I'm not ready yet for Canada. I really don't know what it will do to me when I come back to Mississauga Canada, that can wait a few years.

Du, da, du, da, du, Picture time!

Du, da, du, da, du, Picture time! 

I didn't had plans this weekend, but I went out today either way. Slightly worried as usual about my money, but I went! I headed of to Enschede, Enschede is like a little Amsterdam, but then smaller and much closer to home. It took me thirty minutes with the train. I haven't been to Enschede for such a long time, the last time was actually with Saf and Abd when they visited me in Holland. That was in October 2010, that's almost two years. I really enjoyed my afternoon in Enschede, I nearly spoke it out loud there. Ofcource I took a few pictures.....

Welcome to the City of Enschede! 

There's many art in this City, statues, paintings, awkward objects and street art.

I saw many of such bikes recently, everywhere in Holland actually. I always wondered how it is to ride such bicycles. Kids in front and Mom or Dad on the saddle. 

I went to this shopping centre where I use to go, but this centre was almost empty. No people who were shopping and not many stores. Then I saw this cheese area, it was huge. 

Look at all these cheeses.... 

In the same centre there was a expo aswell, here you see self made furniture made from bamboo. 

 A self made Otto-man, made from leather. I like the colors.

Cow art, I thought it was not done to take a picture of this bizarre piece of art, but I did it anyway, In had to. There were many of those, but the price? Oh my, oh my. 

 The market in Enschede, I took this picture out of a window in a shopping centre. This market is huge, with lots of vegetables, fruit and fish.

Another shopping centre... Not much has changed though in this City but I really enjoyed my time there. 

 Like I said, fish aswell on the market. In many, many shapes.

One of the many statues in Enschede, 'A newspaper boy.'

The 'Grote Kerk' in Enschede, ( The Big Church in Enschede) 

There was an option to go inside the church, and so I did. Look at the big colored windows, I asked if I could take pictures inside, "As many as you want," they said. 

Preacher area. 

Another colored window, we call them 'glas in lood.' 

A statue dedicated to a huge fire disaster back in 2002.

A bizarre art painting in the middle of the city.. 

Weird and strange art objects aswell in Enschede, here you see an old German vehicle with a Mohawk.

Ofcource many bicycles in this City aswell, here you see a few of them at the train station. Train station? Yeah, I was heading home, it's been a good and a long afternoon. Time to go home.










Sometimes people here ask me if I'm already feeling at home here in Almelo, I was thinking about this aswell this afternoon. I can't really answer that, I guess I'm still floating between Almelo, Canada and my old village Nijverdal. It feels like I'm still traveling aswell, I still have to live longer here where I live to let it really feel like I'm at home. It's an awkward feeling though this, I moved quit alot the last five years. Aswell as a kid, me and my parents moved alot aswell. Though it's always nice to be back at my place, the place where I live now, and that's a good sign, right?

Rough Morning, nice afternoon.

Rough Morning, nice afternoon.

Again in the early morning I went right after I woken up to my little mailbox in the flat, ofcource there could be some mail for me what needs quick handling. And yes, sigh! There was mail what needed quick handling...and as soon as possible. One of the mails I had was from taxes, I needed to pay a BIG sum of money back and at first I didn't even know why... What I knew was that 1,it was from housing benefit, and 2, it was from the year 2012. I knew already that I had to pay back a sum of money from one month, but hey! Not from a whole year! I had to pay back all the money from 2012 what I had received from taxes, housing benefit anf health care benefit. "But why," I thought, "Why this much?" I had 'right' on those benefits from January until May from this year, in May I signed my working contract. So, I received un-necessary money in May and in June from taxes, 'that' sum of money I can understand I have to pay back.... 

The benefits from July until December from this year I will have to pay back too it said in the mail, but I never received that money, cause it's only July now! It was early but I was already puzzling how to pay this BIG sum of money back, (More then 2000 Euro) taxes wanted the money before the 1st of September on their account. It's July now, though there's an option to pay in terms, but still, sigh! Asking my Dad for help? Erm, maybe. Ugh, all these questions in my head, I was calm though and got to work. No breakfast, no wash up, I wanted this to be settled first, I needed answers, on my way to the taxes office. I was a little nerves cause taxes mostly has it right in there mails, I was sure I have to pay this BIG sum, but I wanted to know why. I was prepared when I walked in, I knew what to say, I had my papers with me for proof. I was right on turn and a friendly lady helped me, I told her my story and showed her the mail and my other papers.

She looked trough my mail and my other papers, and in the meanwhile she asked me some question. "Strange," she said. There was a number on the mail where she could see what's going on with my taxes. She logged into my taxes account and saw a quit BIG sum of money. She then asked me, "Is this all yours?" She turned the screen and showed me my income over the year of 2012, "I can understand why taxes stopped all your benefits now," she told me. I saw on the screen that my income from 2012 was more then a million Euro's!! "That's surely is not right," I stumbled. All my questions were answered, ofcource taxes stopped my benefits this week, not because I have a job now, no! But because my income over this year is more then a million!! LOL! A few months ago I had to inform taxes cause I have a job now. Taxes wanted to know what my income 'now' was since I have a job. 

I could do the 'informing' online trough my own taxes account. It's quit a puzzle, but I managed it. Though I filled it in wrong, I found that out now. Damn! "And now?" I asked the lady behind the desk, she told me that that was easy, "Inform them again, do a new filling in on your taxes account, fill in what your income will be over this year," Yeah, that was all, taxes will get the right sum of my income and will confirm this within 6 or 7 weeks. (taxes in Holland are always slow) "And the BIG sum of money I have to pay back then?" I asked the lady. "As soon as I get a second mail from taxes with the options how to pay them back in terms I can already pay them one little term. She replied, "You will receive that money back as soon they confirmed your new income over 2012. Okay, sigh. I needed help with the new filling in, so I asked the lady who helped me. "No problem, we are open until 5:00 pm," she said.

I returned home to pack all the papers what was needed for information for the 'informing,' when I got home I made first breakfast and did a quick wash up. After my breakfast I grabbed the 'needed' papers and took of again. The same lady helped me with taxes, and we both were done in a little fifteen minutes, quit a relief I must say. Though I hope taxes confirms quickly with the new informing, hopefully before the 1st of September. Otherwise I have to pay alot of money, but I have hope and trust, I think it will be alright. For the second time I returned home, this time for a good rest, and for sure a nap. Groceries needed to be done aswell today but they could wait for in the afternoon. First a rest! It's all good now. In the afternoon I did my groceries and took it easy further this day, I fried some zucchini with success, was nice.

Rain today, summer weather on his way next week.

Rain today, summer weather on his way next week. 

The hard rain woke me up this morning, that was a pretty tough rain cloud at 4:30 am! Woohoo, I thought, do I have to go trough that? I hoped not. I left my umbrella at work this week, though I had a rain-coat and rain-pants. It was 6:50 am, I though, "I'm off, it's nearly dry. But I got wet anyway, sigh! It was alright, the rain-coat and rain-pants came in handy.

Work was pretty rough today, they wanted me on two sections today. One Boss, asked me to help him and another Boss said no, cause I was needed there. Kinda funny that I was needed at two places, am I that good? Naah, it was just busy. I ended up for a little 30 minutes in the other  section and the rest of the day in my own section. I like to help out, I do the best I can.

At the end of the working day I felt exhausted, their had to be alot done, and I did my best. At 4:30 I was done and ready to go home for a well deserved rest. I think it will be a resting weekend, cooking, groceries and laundry, and lot's of enjoying my relaxing. But hey, who knows, maybe I will go out if the weather is good. I don't feel like spending to much money. I'm planning a long bike ride aswell these coming days. I'll see what these days bring.

"...How will I ever get rich?"

"...How will I ever get rich?" 

This morning after a nice long sleep I decided to walk first downstairs in the flat to check my mail, half awake and still in pyjama pants and slippers I walked down the steps. I was curious if I already got a message from the hospital for my electrocardiography appointment, I hoped it takes place on a free day, so that I wont have to ask for a few free hours from work. I had more then one mail when I opened the box, one was from the hospital, yes! And two more, one from taxes and one from Gak, oh? Wondering what they wanted now... Good news was that my hospital appointment is on a Friday, but it's not until the 24th of August, weird! I thought I was a kind of a emergency this electrocardiography, anyway.....


The other mail was from taxes, they had some bad news. My income will get shortened, social services has stopped their monthly income, cause I'm now above minimum wage since I have a payed job. And so has housing benefit... plus health care benefit, sigh. They really so don't want you to earn that tiny little extra, how will I ever get rich? Or enjoy finally the benefits for all the struggling and working I did. First thing I thought was, "But everyone has a right on housing benefit or health care benefit." Yeah, but not when your above minimum wage, like me now. I think the reason was that I was in a light shock was that I lived from welfare for such a long time that I got easily used to it. 

Although that, I still will hold the monthly income from Gak and from my job. Gak's money I will always keep cause of my sickness, I don't work for the fully five day's in the week, only three. But still, without the housing benefit and health care benefit I really have to keep an eye on my wallet. It was quit a sum of money (in my eyes) what I was getting, but that's stopped now. Ofcource I got worried and ofcource I was thinking, "Didn't I gave the right information, wasn't I mistaking?" I wanted to be sure and went to the taxes office here in this City. There they said, "It all has to do with your income, it's to high, that's why we shortened it." I would like to do a re-infilling again I told them, I can do a re-infilling on the taxes site online.

"That's okay," said the guy behind the desk. On the taxes site you have to fill in what you will be earning over the whole year, in short, they want to know your whole income over the year 2012. It's a bit of a puzzle but I managed, when I got the complete sum of my total income I took off the income for 7 months from Social Services. ('They' payed me until the month May from this year) When I wanted to confirm the new infilling I had doubts, was I sure? Did I do right? I logged off.... I guess I could use some help with this, just to be sure. I called Humanitas, and asked for help. Although I'm not living there anymore, I always can count on them when there's something going on when it comes to money, my house, my social life...etc.

Saturday morning at 10:00 I can visit Humanitas for a quick help with the taxes infilling, pffeeww relieved! I just want to get this right, not want any troubles anymore. Specially not with taxes. I struggled enough, when I have enough money to come around, I'm fine and wont complain. I know how it is to live with a small wallet.

Time flies!

Time flies. 

This day went by fast, before I knew it I was showered after work and sitting comfortable on the couch. Today's work was busy as usual, I like getting nice compliments, it gives me a boost and self confidence. But enough about work, it's nearly time for our Summer vacation. I'm still waiting for my traveling papers, which has the exact time for leaving, and much more information. Though they informed me and aswell the other travelers that a week before leaving they will send the papers. Just me being nerves, if I have the papers I will be fine. 

If I don't get them before the actual traveling time, then I will have to call them, and ask them for the papers. But I guess I'm worried about nothing again, lol, as usual. The weather in our little country has a dip at the moment, lots of rain and cold, the worst day will be Thursday, with rain, hail, thunder, and cold temperature. Though better days are coming they said, next week, sunny weather with high temperature. We just will see, right? Would be nice to have sunny weather with the Summer holiday. Where can I sign?!

A change has to come! No wait.... A change is gonna come... Hopefully!

A change has to come! No wait.... A change is gonna come... Hopefully! 

I need new people around me, I said it so many times, I know. But it's about time, I know creating new friends takes time, I know. But I can always make a start, right? But where to start.... I need to find something where I can go to every week, where a group of people are who I can see and meet every week. I will get to know them, and that's a start. That is my wish. Sometimes I'm thinking, "Am I not to much online? Am I not addicted to the Internet, socializing on the Internet? My answer is, "Yes, and no." More a no then a yes. Am I not to much on Facebook? Probably, but I think it's okay, though it's so very important to have 'other friends' beside my Facebook friends.

Hmm, imagine, you don't have much friends, and you start to look for  friends on online Facebook, or on any other socializing site. You can get attached to it, attached to the online friends, attached to the attention. Sounds familiar Sjon? Yes. Your online friends can suddenly leave Facebook or unfriend you, or, etc, etc. And then? Then you feel bad or sad or lonely, oh, maybe I'm just overreacting, yeah okay, a bit then. But like I said, it's good aswell to have 'Other friends beside the friends you have online, who you can't reach or touch, or even have a coffee with. Read: "It's better to have a social life too." My social life has made a start but in my eyes I'm still not there yet, there where I want to be.

I'm getting help with finding social contacts, cause it's quit difficult when there's not much to look for in this city. I will have to have a bit of luck aswell, and I search so hard. Another wish is to travel, oh yes, I said that aswell befoire, but traveling cost money, big money. Or? Uhm, just get my luggage and go? I don't even have to go far, Holland has nice sightseeings aswell. Sea life in The Hague, I always wanted to visit that. Within two weeks my Summer vacation starts, maybe then? Yeah, then! Today was a nice day at work, I did alot, and I stood on my own section. Was nice being around the fellow workers, tomorrow again. Hope the rain is stopping then, when I returned home I got soaked from the rain. And it's still raining. 

P.s: I forgot a post, oh my, oh my! 

How on earth I forgot to write a post? I write everyday, yeah, I had the post in drafts and forgot to post it! Silly me, but anyway, here's a short post from yesterday.... 


My Sunday was okay, resting was on top of my list. And that's what I did, plus the usual things what need to be done. The laundry had dried up and some of it had to be ironed, then there's the lunch prepairing for tomorrow's work. Cooking something different is a must on Sundays, tonight I had Italian risotto. That's a rice dice, I added mushrooms, zuccini and chickenbreast, delicious.

"Me and my big feet!"

"Me and my big feet!" 

I was in a shoe store looking for new cheap sporting shoes for my badminton lessons, ofcource I looked for size 44, (10-usa) but they didn't fit. They normally do but okay, on my way to size 45, (11-usa). That one was hmm, not really comfortable aswell, let's try a size 46 (13-usa). Perfect! But oh dear, did my feet really went two sizes bigger? I recently cutted my toe nails, so, that couldn't it be, lol. The ones I bought are black with here and there some white, I really like them. Though it was a tough job to find the perfect pair of shoes, the store had skate-board shoes, soccer indoor shoes, and aswell tennis indoor shoes. Some were really expensive aswell, but I didn't wanna spend my money on expensive ones.

This shoe store where I went was in my Dad's place, yeah, I decided to go to my Dad today. Allthough the weather-forecast forspelled heavy rain, and allthough there were some really dark clouds in the sky, it stayed dry the whole afternoon. Dad was doing fine, when I came in the nurses were about to weigh my Dad. He had to sit in a special chair where the nurses could see how much he weight, 85kg! Nice Dad! The nurses placed my Dad in his lazy chair afterwards, he looked at me a few times, I thought, "Your getting old Dad." I remember when he use to work so hard, and seeing him like this is a bit awkward. But hey, were all getting old, aren't we? I love you Dad!

I didn't stay that long, cause I had a few things more to do. It was busy in my old village, there was market and ofcource the stores were open. Though I like it more in the city where I live now, I wouldn't wanna live in this village where I used to live. I love the city! So, I bought the (tennis) shoes I needed, and I bought my last groceries. It was time to go to the train station and heading back to Almelo, my home. It's been a nice day, and I didn't even plan to go to my Dad, though I went, I'm glad I went. In four weeks precisely my Dad will turn 75! He will celebrate his Birthday in the place where he lives, I think in the restaurant downstairs. Hope it's gonna be a fun day for him. I'm gonna buy him a nice present.

"If or when you find the Summer, please send it to Holland."

"If or when you find the Summer, please send it to Holland." 

We Dutch can officially say now that 2012 had a horrible summer, like it usually is. There's no complaining about Spring cause Spring is always good here, sometimes Spring here feels like Summer, and then the so called Summer starts. This week we will have rain, and nothing but rain, it's to cold for summer aswell, only 15/16 degrees, that doesn't feel like Summer. Today my counselor came for the very last time, he handed me a few papers to round of the session of eight months, I had to sign them. It was nice seeing him, we had a few nice talks about music and a few other things. I'm on my own now, but it's all good. Everything is fine now, only the social contacts has to be better, I'm working on that until I found something. 

After the Summer vacation I will get help finding social contacts, a new counselor will help me finding something what will suit me. That can be a club, or a sport or a activity, just anything. Though I will not wait untill after the Summer vacation, I will be searching myself aswell. As a matter affect, I think I found something today. I went this evening to a recreation  badminton event, (say what?) Every Friday evening from 8:00 until 10:00 a bunch of people come together in a gym hall to play badminton, it's a society, or how you call it. This society has a staff, and members. I went there to have a look, and to see what it's like. I didn't join them for a game, which I could cause the attendant asked me. He was very friendly and explained me a bit how it all went in this weekly event. 


It was quit busy there, they all were playing their games. I really like what I saw, it gave me a boost of energy, I want to join this. I wished I brought my gym clothing, but wait! I didn't had any training shoes, I will have to buy some. The first four lessons are free," the attendant told me. Nice, so I can see if I can handle this, cause it's quit a input I saw, but I like it, it really gave me a good feeling. Next Friday I will be going there again and join them for a match, yay! Next Friday will be aswell the last time cause of the Summer holiday, in September they start again. Then I will be starting fully too. I think I found what I was looking for, let's see how it will go.

Sometimes I long for normal people around me...

Sometimes I long for normal people around me... 

Just had a great day at work, work went well, we had laughs, talks, just a good atmosphere. At the end of the working day I took off to the free dinner, the last free dinner for the Summer vacation. We had Chinese food and ice-cream afterwards, before the dinner one of the cooks did a speech, such a good and nice speech, some were in tears. It was quit busy aswell! After the dinner I joined some of the people outside as usual, I meet my weekly friends who I see during every free dinner, it's a nice getting together with everyone. Though there are homeless people too, and sometimes they are drunk. (sometimes? LOL) And some are from Humanitas, they are the so called 'normal people,' well normal people? The staff at Humanitas, (counselors, bosses, etc, etc) have always called a outsider, outsider in a good way. I'm like the real normal one. 

The others were not really high educated, or have a drug past, or have other heavy problems. Though I left Humanitas with having friends there, I see some of them every week with the dinner. Sometimes it's nice, but sometimes I really long for really normal people. I was standing outside after the free dinner, and there was a kid of one of my friends playing and annoying me with his football. I ignored it and fooled around with him a bit. But on a certain moment I was done with him, and told him to stop. He kicked his ball many times at me, I told him later on, "If I get the ball then I will get rid of the ball, you have been warned." After a while he kicked again and on a surprising moment I got the ball and kicked it over the fence. He had to walk pretty far to get the ball, "Get me my ball,"he said. "You get it," I said, you have young legs." He gets his ball, and kicks me once again, "That's for you," he says, for letting me walk so far." 

Then I grabbed his ear just a bit, and I told him, "That's for you, for not listening to me." He cried! And I felt bad, but was mad aswell. Her mom took a look at the wound and I apologized, least I could do. The kid had already a hurting neck, I didn't know. Another adventure: There's this teenage girl (a daughter from two of my friends. I like her, she's cute, though today she was annoying me with punching me and grabbing me, just to get attention ot to fool around. "Punch back," they told me, but I'm not like that, I don't hit or punch young people. Later on she stopped, not that I told her, but just like that. After a while she started again, and I told her with a laugh that she must stop now, otherwise I will be black and blue, (she punched hard, and mean) though it was all for jokes and laughs. How to handle this? I didn't know, I told her to stop many times, and in the back ground I heard many times, punch her back, and so I did. 

Not even hard I turned her arm on her back, and told her, "Beg for mercy!" It was all jokes, but she was hurt afterwards and yes, I had a another crying kid among me. Sigh! Now this girl is a bit of a drama queen, I twisted her bad arm, how did I know? Right? Her Mom told me about her bad arm and told me to come with her, "Come with me, let's apologize together." I felt bad, cause I can't stand crying kids, it gets me. Go away!" She said. And I went, oh yeah, I was done for today with these people, Then I really longed for normal people, like the people at work, where I can have a normal conversation with. I returned with a bad feeling towards home, "How can I make this all good?" I thought. Maybe they all think bad of me now," was my second thought, my third thought was, "Screw it, I need normal people." Though I tried to make it up with both the kids, I sent there Mothers on Facebook a message and a asking how they are.

See, I'm a normal person, LOL!

 One mother told me not to worry, the kid with the ball has already forgotten everything. Now the teenage girl was bad though, assuming to her Mom she twisted her arm and she had to go to a doctor and do a X-ray, I sanked deeper. Though I had doubts cause, were they telling me the truth? I checked another friend of them, and she told me that they were alright, they haven't been to a Doctor. I should not worry the friend told me, "Get over it," she said. I took a shower and got over it, what a end of a great day at work. Though I learned from it, I need to speak up more, and not be so kind perhaps. Let's bring this in practice. (p.s. I can be really good with kids but these kids were different, just like there parents. The teenage girl for example is living apart from their parents, the parents are living in a shelther.)

Electrocardiography...

Electrocardiography...

I went to my Doctor this morning, first I wanted  to wait until Friday, cause I felt quit alright last night. Though the slightly chest pain came back this morning, so, I though, "Why not just go?" I'm glad I went, just to get it over with. I called for an appointment and within a hour I was  at the Doctor's, pretty fast. I told her about my chest pain and what it might causes. Though the Doctor couldn't really bring home what it might be. I told her it could be nerves or stress, or perhaps the hard work I did the last few weeks. I described it well, the pain is precisely in the middle of my chest, it feels a bit like little cramps. Or like someone is squeezing softly my chest. I can do my daily things just normally, sure I feel sometimes out of breath when I make exertion, but I have that most of the time. I got used to it. I know exactly what I can do or what I can't do. I can be busy with things and feel great, though when it's getting to busy or to rough my body will give a sign. Then I will ease down or just stop.

My Doctor send me to electrocardiography in the hospital, (Hope I spelled it right) she will send a fax to the nearest hospital and there a cardiologist will help me further. The Doctor told me that I will have to get on a bike there, and at the same time they will look how my heart response on a monitor. Ofcource I'm a bit nerves, just the way I am, lol. But I didn't have to, the Doctor told me, "We do this for just in case." Yeah, but still. Oh well. The Doctor asked me aswell if I had any Family with heart problems or any other kind of disease, I replied with, "Not that I know off." I will get a letter from the hospital with a date on it when I can come, probably next week, or perhaps this week. Nervous? Hmm, yes and no. You know? A friend of mine told me that it could be the  respiratory muscle what cause the pain, stress on the respiratory muscle. That could be yes, I worry so now and then, worry about just little things. And that may cause the chest pain aswell, oh well , the Doctor knows best.

"No free dinners for 6 weeks?"

"No free dinners for 6 weeks?" 

Yup, the free dinner on Wednesday and Thursday are off for 6 weeks, like they always do once a year. It's Summer holiday for them, can't blame them. The always cook and serve meals for free, they deserve a little vacation. But wohooow! What to do for 6 weeks? I mean, now I have to cook for two extra days. This upcoming Thursday is the last meal and then they are 6 weeks off, it will be a 'something special' meal though. I don't know what we get, but I know it's something special, just like last year.

I had soup for dinner tonight, soup out of a bag, very nice. (See picture) It was goulash soup, and I loved it. I had some left over food from last Sunday, but that meal didn't work out the way I wanted, in the bin with it. It's been a long time since I had soup, I think I will announce Thursday as soup day... For 6 weeks long, LOL! And on Wednesday I will keep it simple and cheap. The free dinner on Monday just stays, these people don't do holidays. I'm happy with the free dinners, it taste good and saves alot of money.

Work went well today, gosh I went from left to right, from section A to section B, and from B to A again. I was needed, they said it literally. "Mirsjad (name fellow worker) needs you there," or, "We really need you here." It's nice to hear that, it gives me a boost. Though it was a bit hectic, I like to help out and I really do my best, but sometimes I have to think at my self aswell, right? This morning I went with the same chest pain as yesterday morning on my way to work, though I felt a tiny bit better. "I will see how it goes today," I thought.

And it went, yeah, slightly a bit better then yesterday, weird! It seems when I'm doing things and not think of the chest pain the pain is less. At the end of the day I was tired though, feeling exhausted, though I felt satisfied aswell. I managed to do alot, though I wanna lessen the hectic work, or the hasting in my work. I need to take more care of my health while I work. Though it feels great when I help out, or when I finnish something. I will have to keep an eye open that I'm not getting to excited or to enthusiastic. Ease on down the road Sjon!

Rain can be refreshing aswell...

Rain can be refreshing aswell... 

This morning when I went to work I was a bit worried about my chest pain, I wasn't surprised about the worrying, cause I knew I would be. I felt a light pressure on my chest when I woke up, and yes, swallowing food hurted a bit. When I took of towards work I went slowly, normally I cycle fast but this time I didn't. I was worried, though worrying makes it worse. I decided this morning to take it easy today, I thought, "I will just see what happens," the fresh air felt nice. Although the chest pain I felt enthusiastic when I arrived in the cantine at work, I saw the machines in the factory and I saw mats what weren't finished.

We are busy lately at work, I had to make several mats and I was ready for it, though I took care of my pain aswell. But it went, yeah, today's work was okay, I think the hard work and heavy lifting from last Thursday got me. I told a fellow worker this aswell, he told me that I have to say it when I can't handle the heavy work. I should yeah, and I will. Though sometimes I get to enthusiastic, and then I go for it. Weird enough I love it, it's hard work and I feel like I'm sporting then. I can't really describe that feeling, I feel exhausted but it's worth it, it gives a satisfied feeling. If my body gives a sign that I must stop or slow it down, I'm sure I will!

So, the pain in my chest? I don't know, it comes and goes. But I almost know that there's something not good, I will visit my Doctor Wednesday or Friday. Tomorrow I will work aswell, I will see how it goes then. I figured out today that this chest pain comes and goes, maybe it's just nerves or, I don't know. Doctor's know best, right? I think I will call him Wednesday morning for a appointment. No, I WILL call him Wednesday morning!

"Cooking? Keep it simple Sjon."

"Cooking? Keep it simple Sjon." 

And I will keep it simple from now on, sigh, lol! I will just stick to the easy and small recipes, how to cook  carrots or how to cook beans. Sure I can cook and prepair dinner, but if it's getting to difficult then I will skip it. It has to be tasty aswell, we all have different tastes in food, right? I tried three different meals this weekend, I failed with one, I nearly failed with two. And I ended up with two full bags of groceries and almost a empty wallet. First of was the baked cauliflower on Friday, I told already that the cauliflower was expensive, sigh! On the YouTube video they told me that the cauliflower should be cut ed and cooked first, that went easy. Then I needed to make a kind of a sauce to dip the pieces cauliflower in, flower, milk, two un-boiled eggs, salt & pepper, melted butter and olive oil.

My kitchen started to be a mess. The dip for the cauliflower failed, there was no way I could dip something in that, it was all a cluttered mess. I made a new dip, lol, but this time I used just the flower, salt & pepper and some herbs. The dipping went fine and the baking pan was ready to bake the dipped cauliflower, I crossed my fingers hoping it all went well. I had no clue how long to bake them, but it went. The potatoes were already cooked, and the cauliflower was nearly done, time to serve it, and try it out. And? It was okay, I guess a bit to much flower. Next time lessen the flower, if theirs a next time! LOL!

Saturdays meal was a fail, I took this recipe from YouTube aswell. Italian potato salad with goat cheese, and it seemed so easy. Maybe it became a failure because I left out some ingredients, I don't like black olives, and I don't like capers and garlic. I had to cook the potato's first, easy I could cook potatoes with my eyes closed. After boiling them I cut them into smaller pieces, I nearly burned my fingers. I cut the goat cheese into smaller pieces aswell. Then the sauce for the salad, ingredients what I used were.... 

Six table spoons olive oil, 20 gram parsley, (I used more then 20 gram, sigh) one teaspoon of thymus, one table spoon of vinegar and salt & pepper. I cutted the parsley and added the six tablespoon of olive oil in a bowl. After I stired up the parsley I added the thymus, vinegar (yack) and added afterwards the potatoes and goat cheese, stir, stir, stir, done. Result? Well, it looked nice but it tasted yack, lol. To much parsley, the goat cheese went warmer cause of the warm potatoes and the vinegar gave a weird after taste. Never again! LOL!

Turkish Bulgur, thatwent good, although it tasted a bit to salty. It was a easy recipe, I bought a package from the supermarket and it only needed a few extra ingredients, as the package said. Bulgur you can compare with couscous, it's easy to make IF you have the right baking pans, which I didn't had. I had to cook the bulgur in a regular pan, the same pan where I cook my potatoes in. On the package it said I needed a large cooking pan, but that pan was already in use, lol, for the sauce. The sauce was easy, add this add that and done. I used for the sauce, one onion, one green pepper, one tomato, two tablespoons of olive oil, tomato paste and...

Chicken breast. Although I didn't like tomato's, I used them anyway, I didn't wanna mess this up aswell. Though the bulgurr was 'uhm' hard to decide how to cook and where in. I used the cooking pan, I added a bit of water and a little piece of butter. When the water cooked I added the bulgur and stired like a maniac, I was afraid the bulgur would burn right trough the pan. The bulgur was done in five minutes, I stir untill the water was steamed away. The sauce for the bulgur was already done. Result? It was okay, just a bit to salty cause of the tomato paste I think, of all the meals I made this weeknd I say the bulgur was the best. 

This last week I haven't been feeling so well, even now I'm so so. I don't know why, but I feel a light presure on my chest, when I swallow food or drink I feel sometimes a tiny little stab or a pinch on my chest aswell. Ofcource this worries me, and worrying ofcource makes it worser. Do I work to hard? Is it the food changing I did the last four weeks? Is it the heat? Or is it a mixture of everything I just summed up? I have worked hard lately, yes , but I did that the last six months aswell, so I don't know. Food changing? Lately I eat different, mostly fresh and differnt kinda veggies ans seasonings. I like structure in my life, no wait...

I have structure in my life and when somethings changes then my body reacts to that change. perhaps my body reacts on the fresh veggies or different spices or seasonings. It's been warm aswell this last week, extremely warm in the house. When I get up in the morning I feel a bit short breathed, and feel that light chest pressure aswell. Perhaps I need more air in my house, or drink more water, I don't drink that much. I'm just not thirsty. I will see how it goes this week, if it still bothers me then I will see my Doctor. I'm so not a fan of Doctors, but yeah, feeling not well isn't fun either. Ugh!