“After enlightement, the laundry"
Just had a tiny bit of laundry today, I thought, what the heck, I will just throw it the machine. Yesterday the washingmachine on the second floor was broke, If you wanted to wash you had to hold the button. On the first floor the washingnmachine worked, (I thought) I pressed the button and the machine made noise. Meaning it worked. After five or six hours I came back, I totally forgot about the wash, and still the washingmachine wasn't done. It still had to spin, but it refused to do that.
I pushed many buttons, putted it of and on, and finally it spinned and I waited till my wash was done.This morning the same thing, I putted the wash in the machine, added washpowder, and pushed the button. The machine made noise again, it worked, I thought! After a few hours I had a look but nothing happened, the wash was still in the machine, dirty. Another guy looked at it but, nothing helped. It's broke, both washing machines are broke now. There's always something going on here, lol, things brake and they won't be fixed. I could make a washing list what all has to be fixed here. I wonder what there going to do with the two broken washingmachines, fixing it by a fixer or buy two new ones?
I had a good day today, I felt better then yesterday. I need to stop whinning, I know, cause it doesn't change anything, and it doesn't help me move forward. Eermm, in a way it does help me a bit forward cause the grieving, whinning and feeling sad is a part of the healing. I need to let it out, let out my emotions instead of cropping it all up, right? I woke up at 7:15 am, a nice and a good time. I took a shower and putted comfy clean clothes on. Today I planned a rest day, meaning doing not much. And that's what I did.
I cleaned a bit my room and made some food, at 6:30 pm Johannus's Son knocked on my door, just like yesterday he wanted to play soccer with me. How can I resist a cute kid? It was fun, and I was suprised I actually got some soccer talent aswell. We played for an hour and that was long enough, he had to go to bed cause tomorrow it's school for him again. I have been re-reading my blog a bit today and it was quit interesting, specially the Humanitas part. When I first walked in here I was nerves and now I'm actually doing well.
I also red about parts that I still felt extremely attached to Saf and her kids. I guess it was still so fresh a few months ago, the trip back from Canada to Holland went fast. There I was sitting on the couch in Barrie, Canada,with my suitcases packed, within 8 or 9 hours I was already in Holland, away from the Family and alone. Now a few months later I don't have that extremely attached feeling, I still care about them and love them, but I can handle it easier now then two months ago, I can give it a place and keep the memories.
I wrote about meeting them, I was so sure to meet them again this year, I even searched online if it was possible in my state that I have been ilegal to return to Canada. I can say now, sure I would like to meet them, but I don't think it would be appropiate to do such thing at the moment. But who knows?(I would LOVE to see Tasn again though) But for now I will say, no, sure I would like to travel in the near future but other countries first. My goal is to not sit on my @ss, and just live my life like I use to do back in Holland. I wanna live! I wanna see the world and do things, accomplish things. I'm 43 damned! LOL!
