Sunday, July 31, 2011

"Loving the holiday."

"Loving the holiday."

Sunday's.... what can I say? There's just nothing to do, I know I keep saying it. But it's not that bad though, rest does me good. After I woke up I went on the laptop and made myself breakfast. I turned the washing machine on on section yellow, the washing machine on section green is still "Defect." Some of the residents were cleaning and I hate it then when I'm sitting down and do nothing, I want to do something too then. I washed the windows in my room, it was needed anyways. Some of the residents were going out, but I'm saving money for my 'holiday out's.' Maybe this week or next week I will travel by train to Amsterdam, just looking around without buying loads of things. Just enjoying the vieuw and enjoying my day out. 

It's been a while since I was in Amsterdam, I think the last time was with Saf, me and Ab, we had a meeting with Saf's friend too there.  Her name is Elena, she's from Spain and she brought her little Daughter. She was so cute, and even cutter with Ab. It was fun to see how Elena's Daughter spoke spanish while Ab didn't understand her at all what she was saying. It was a nice day, grey and rainy but it was all good. It's fun to meet people who you know trough internet, you get a little bit that nervous feeling when your close to meet. How will she or he look in real or how will she or be in real life? I'm ready for a next meeting, it should be fun. 


Update~ 


I'm quit good at the moment, everything is settled. It's only the search for a new living, a new house. And ofcource buying the things what a house needs, I will have to ask for a loan somewhere though, I already know where to go. I will have to ask for some extra money aswell, it's called  'rent allowance,'  I had it also while I still lived in Holland before I went to Canada. Its a compensation what you get if you pay to much rent for your income, If you have a low income and you want to rent a house you get the compensation. My thoughts of Canada are getting less aswell, sometimes the thoughts come back and sometimes they feel bad cause of the missing feelings, and sometimes they feel good cause of the good memories. But it's all alright, it's a part of the proces. 

Things what overcomes me now are all part of the proces I guess, everything happens for a reason the say. I have been reading alot of forums about break ups and divorces the last six months but I stopped reading it a month ago, I know it now. It helped me further, it gave me advices and tips, but it's good now. It's quit boring aswell when you read it over and over again, that was a sign I was done with it. If I would read it again now I surely would return back into my proces, reading all the suffering and grieving again wont do me good. I passed that stage, I feel better. Do I miss Saf? Hmm, so, so, I have sometimes my good and bad moments. Do I miss Saf's kids, yeah I do, or is it the fact that I just miss a family around me what I had while I was in Canada? Yeah that too, I must say aswell that Saf's kids are special, and such a cutties. Good memories they all will be. 


And further? Further not that much, I noticed that I'm not really ready for a new relationship, but I noticed that I like to have people around me so now and then. About the relationship, it can happen ofcource and then I will be ready. But I rather stay alone for a little while, until I have a nice house and feel more ready then I feel now. I'm good and okay.