"Why wait till I'm happy, be happy now."
It gives me the feeling that I'm not happy now, BUT I'm sure I will be happy when I have a house and a job and enough money to travel. But who says I will be happy then? I might be feeling lonely or sad, who knows, I know it's not good to think ahead. But lately such thoughts flashes trough my mind, no one can look in the future, and no one can say if your happy or not happy in the future. So yeah, why wait and decide to be happy later? Why be not happy now? Little things can make people happy, I should be aware of the little things around me what can make me happy. Forcing myself to be happy won't work, just be aware of being happy is enough I think.
I arrived at the sauna on a nice time, the sauna just opened 15 minutes ago. I needed a bathrobe and one pair of slippers, size 10. It wasn't that busy, and it stayed that way. I felt good but when I stepped into in one of the cabines and layed myself down I nearly fell asleep. I surely needed a nap, but not in the cabine though. In the Sauna is also a huge rest room, it's downstairs in the basement. The rest room has nine beds with red blankets and white pillows, nice softly music you can hear in the background. I went downstairs after the cabine visit and layed myself down, I took a nap.I slept for only 30 minutes, it was enough cause I wasn't in the sauna to sleep. I decided to have a drink and going on with sauna-ing. I took two more rounds and took afterwards a good shower.
Arround 4pm I left the sauna and headed to the trainstation, nicely on time for my train. Arrived in Almelo I went to Mcdonalds and took a nice meal, it was crowded and most of them were teenagers, sigh. That meant alot of noice and lot's of bleeping from the I-pods. It was alright, Mcdonalds was good and I took off again to the groceryshop for.....grocery. I didn't need that much but what I needed was needed, lol! Tomorrow the shops will be closed, tomorrow is Sunday. I bought some stuff for the first two days of the week, cause I will be working whole days then, and I don't feel like shopping after work. It's nice and quiet now at Humanitas, mostly everyone is out, blame the Saturday shopping.
Smoking!
Comparing to Canada it seems that Dutch people smoke alot more, that's one thing I noticed when I got back in Holland. I don't smoke, and I don't like the smell, it gets in your clothes, and it feels it blocks my troath. Everytime I see someone smoking I truly wonder why they like smoking, it's not sugary or salty, it's not tasty smelling either. Now at Humanitas most of the people smoke, I'm almost the only one who doesn't smoke. Visiting the residents can be sometimes a pain then, because of the smoke. Sometimes we sit with each other in a room and the smoke is whirling around, ugh! I dislike it, but I'm not walking away, only when it's getting to much. You can say I have alot of smokers around me, I sometimes try to avoid it as much as I can. But there's not much you can do about it, I always think, "Oh it's only for a few months until I get a place for myself." Right.
Tomorrow I will have the second appointment with Sandra, my stand-in counselor for Paula, Paula will return next comming week I think. I miss her though, she's good in her job, she's friendly and funny aswell. I want to talk with Sandra tomorrow about getting a house for myself, cause it seems I kinda lost it.The prices for renting houses has gone up the last two years here in Holland. If you get a house for 300 or 400 Euro, (rent) you wont get much, but if your lucky you can find a nice house for 400 or 500 Euro. (rent) I can't decide this alone at the moment, I surely need help. Cause if I see a nice house for 400 or even 500 euro, someone else might find for me something nicer for 300 or 350 Euro. Tomorrow I will know more.
