"After sunshine comes rain."
After two gorgeous days with sunshine and warmth the rain came down last night, and it's cold. The last two days we had 26 degrees Celcius, and now it's only 16 degrees Celcius. It's dry now while I'm writing this but it's grey and still cold. I just woke up from a very nice nap, I slept more then a hour, wow, I actually never sleep so long. I guess it was needed after two days of work, yesterday I was tired, lots of heavy work and a Boss who doesn't/can't corporate does something to me, lol. Today I planned a rest day, doing completely nothing. The nap I just had felt so nice, and did me good. This morning I had a appointment with Paula at 11:00 am, she was busy but she felt good although her pregnancy.We have been looking for houses online, Paula informed me that there were more sites to look for houses.We both found quit a few houses where we both react on, it feels better now for me to look for houses.
First I felt akward and anxcious, I had a bit that 'eek' feeling, but now I'm good, the more choice for houses the better I feel. I had one last question for Paula, I need a new laptop cause this laptop is done. There are to much damages left behind after I cleaned all the viruses on this machine. I can't do updates anymore, it keeps crashing, and it's slow. Now it must be akward to hear that I have to ask for (my) money for a new laptop, well, it does. Let me explain, all my money is staying at this moment on the bank account from Humanitas.When I get my monthly income it goes to Humanitas, when I have to pay a bill I have to ask the secetary of Humanitas to pay this from my money, when I get all other extra money it goes to the account from Humanitas.This may sound weird but it's the way how Humanitas works, they keep an eye on your money so that it stays safe. Every resident here has this.
Most of the residents here can't control there money, they buy alcohol or even worser drugs for it. Some residents have alot of guilts and bills that has to be payed, Humanitas helps them out with that by keeping an eye on there money and if there's enough money in there eyes and the counselor's eye they will pay the bills and guilts together with the resident. Some residents don't like this at all, "It's my money, I can do with it what I want, it's not fair," they shout sometimes. But appearantly they can't, I know a few residents who buy alcohol as soon they have a bit of money, I pity them. I understand there anger though but the way Humanitas works is much better for them. Anyway I had to ask for (my) money for a new needed laptop. First I had doubts to buy it cause it's ofcource not a bit money, but it's really needed. Paula was okay with it, although she told me aswell that it's alot of money.
Most of the residents here can't control there money, they buy alcohol or even worser drugs for it. Some residents have alot of guilts and bills that has to be payed, Humanitas helps them out with that by keeping an eye on there money and if there's enough money in there eyes and the counselor's eye they will pay the bills and guilts together with the resident. Some residents don't like this at all, "It's my money, I can do with it what I want, it's not fair," they shout sometimes. But appearantly they can't, I know a few residents who buy alcohol as soon they have a bit of money, I pity them. I understand there anger though but the way Humanitas works is much better for them. Anyway I had to ask for (my) money for a new needed laptop. First I had doubts to buy it cause it's ofcource not a bit money, but it's really needed. Paula was okay with it, although she told me aswell that it's alot of money.
I can't do without a computer, I have connections on it and I would like to search for houses online without that the computer crashes all the time. And then suddenly Ina stood at my door... She has it very difficult at the moment with her ex, she's not calm and she's not the Ina anymore that I know. Her ex messages her all the time with insults and nagging's, it drives her crazy. I know it's not my bussines but when we all live here together it's sure not easy to keep things for yourself, and ofcource there's always someone wheo would like to have a listening ear. Sometimes it goes automaticly. Ina cried and ofcource I get weak, don't ever cry infront of me or just let a few tears, I will come towards you. Ina has to ignore her ex but she and her ex have two kids....
...Plus they have there personal belongings to take care off though the seperation, they can't ignore each other just like that. But when Ina's ex is such a pain... Ina's ex put aswell the kids in between them.(wrong, I know) I letter her in and putted an arm around her and talked to her, but aswell I kept my distance (cause the last time I putted an arm around her, she shoved it of, and reminding myself that evening when we were both together....yeah, I have to take it easy for myself) I knew what to do and what not to do. I told her to put out the phone for a while and if she needs to call her ex for something then use it, but otherwise, phone out. It's not only her ex what drives her crazy, she told me she has after her seperation eight admirers wanting her and texting her, and being at Humanitas with her 11 year old daughter isn't a pleasure either.
I know from myself that when someone is suffering that it does something to me, I like to take care of them then and be there when it's needed. BUT I learned here a good lesson aswell, I have to keep a certain distance and get not involved to much. Saying it hard, 'It's not my bussines.' But a talk here and there and sometimes a helping hand doesn't harm, I guess, I gotta keep an eye on myself also though. I'm feeling good though the last few weeks, not extremely happy but I'm getting there. I achieved alot of things what I wanted to achieve, and that makes me happy. I have my normal income every month back, work is going well, very well I must say, I'm getting along good with the other residents, (we talk and joke around alot) I so now and then keep in touch with Saf and the kids, that was my goal. No hatred, no arguess and no hard feelings. No more bills to pay, I'm all bill free!
These things I summed up gives me strenght, and makes me feel good. I really like it that Saf and I getting along at the moment, we sure do not email each other every day or every week, that's not needed. But so now and then a mail whenever I feel for it or when she feels for it. And the kids I see them sometimes on Facebook, sometimes here and there a comment or a message. It's all good, nowif you want to excuse me.... it's time to look for houses again. Yay!
I know from myself that when someone is suffering that it does something to me, I like to take care of them then and be there when it's needed. BUT I learned here a good lesson aswell, I have to keep a certain distance and get not involved to much. Saying it hard, 'It's not my bussines.' But a talk here and there and sometimes a helping hand doesn't harm, I guess, I gotta keep an eye on myself also though. I'm feeling good though the last few weeks, not extremely happy but I'm getting there. I achieved alot of things what I wanted to achieve, and that makes me happy. I have my normal income every month back, work is going well, very well I must say, I'm getting along good with the other residents, (we talk and joke around alot) I so now and then keep in touch with Saf and the kids, that was my goal. No hatred, no arguess and no hard feelings. No more bills to pay, I'm all bill free!
These things I summed up gives me strenght, and makes me feel good. I really like it that Saf and I getting along at the moment, we sure do not email each other every day or every week, that's not needed. But so now and then a mail whenever I feel for it or when she feels for it. And the kids I see them sometimes on Facebook, sometimes here and there a comment or a message. It's all good, nowif you want to excuse me.... it's time to look for houses again. Yay!
