"Better then yesterday."

"Better then yesterday."

I had my moments today, moments of thoughts, But I felt better then yesterday. I'm healing and it goes slow, I'm so happy that I have work. I grieved enough, it's time to let go and get to work. I was doing that already, but now I'm trying to give it all. Today at work was good, we had alot to do.We  made some wooden trays, I think we made more then eighty. It was exhausting work but fun. We are so into wood at Reha recently, I will take some pictures tomorrow. Today aswell I got alot of mail, some were good some were bad, lol! I had some paychecks for my medication what I delivered at the healt insurance office a month ago, the lady told me you get money back from these paychecks within four weeks. 

And today I was getting 'that' money back on my bank account, yay! But, from that same company, I got another bill for my montly healt insurance. and, it was pretty much, to much in my eyes. I need to sort that out tomorrow, together with all of my other mail, it's a bit of a mess all the mails and bills I have at the moment, it sure needs to be organized. Some other good news was that I have signed in to another housing corporation (A company who looks for houses) That company is in a city near Almelo, the city is called Hengelo That company will look for me for houses to rent in Hengelo. It's a nice city where I would love to live aswell. I'm still busy with the housing corporation in Almelo, but I'm almost done with that one. There is one city more where I would love to live, and that is Enschede. Enschede is near Hengelo, and Hengelo is near Almelo. I still need to sign in in the Enschede, I will do that this week.

Yesterday I had it bad, and wasn't feeling so well, it went a bit better today. Everything goes well, with my income, insurance, bills and where I am staying. I'm not worried about that. What I worry about a bit is myself, I have sometimes troubles with continuing with my life, I have to many thoughts ,thoughts of Canada, thoughts of the kids and Saf. I noticed I could use some help with these thoughts, and I decided to take more counceling. Now they have some counselers here at Humanitas, but I rather have my own counseler. My own counseler the one where I started with, is aswell the one who got me here. I mailed him today, and I would like if he comes once a week at Humanitas or perhaps once in twice weeks. Or I go there.

Just for a conversation about myself and my thoughts, to help me further to continue, I really need that now. I took yesterday the first step with avoiding everything what includes Saf, and I can tell you, it wasn't easy. It hurts, and I really hope when I feel better and have everything settled, that I can slowly get contact with them again for just friendship and nothing else.I still care about them, but if people would ask me if I'm still in love with Saf, I can say, "No." Another thing, I noticed that I have money left over in the week from my food money, I get every week 40 Euro from Humanitas to buy myself food. 40 Euro doesn't seem much, but I have money left, and still my fridge and cabinet are filled with food. My idea is to save every week 10 or 15 Euro from the 40 Euro what I get, I will put it in a safe and save it, lol!  It's easy to do, now let's see how much I can save. 

A short post today, cause I have a short evening, I'm planning to make it an early night. So I can sleep tight. Working tomorrow, gotta be up early.