Things are going easy today. This Morning was a bit boring cause the selling of my belongings is still not going well, and then you can't do much, no packing, cause it's to early. I searched for a few more record stores for selling my records and cd's, I will call them tomorrow again like I did this morning. I did a bit of dishes and laundry, and was on the computer. Saf was sleeping, she had her night shift. When she woke up she came downstairs, grabbed a apple and took of, "I have to do something, I'll be back soon. "Okay" I said. Things are easy, like I said. The friend from Holland keeps contact with me. I had 2 emails from him today, the first one was a confirm that he's gonna talk to my Aunt and Uncle next Wednesday. And the second one was just some nice words. It's good to know that my friend is thinking of me back in Holland.
Today I went for a nice walk with Dako, it was nice to be outside, away from the stress.
Only a few days until Christmas, time flies for sure. Thinking of returning to Holland makes me nervous, and it gives me weird feelings. Feelings like I'm not done here, feelings like, I still wanna proof something. I would love to see the kids grow up and see how they continue there life's and be a part from that. But I'm not able to, and not alowed.
Saf and I are over, over and out. I had this weird feeling coming over me today when I looked at her, she's gorgeous and I was thinking many thoughts, Why did it come so far? is it meant to be? Why did we change so much?, What happened? Will there be a better life for me in Holland? I will sure get my rest, being alone again, I don't know! I have mixed feelings these days, feelings of missing the family, specially the kids! Feelings of, 'I wanna go and I don't wanna go.' At least I will have a good time with them with Christmas and new years in Canada! At least I hope.
