Did you find the key yet?

Did you find the key yet? 

NOO! I did one last search last night and I will do one more search tomorrow morning in the daytime in daylight. Then if I don't find it I will ask for a new key, the manager told me to keep searching, if you don't find it you will get a new key tomorrow. The 45 Euro will be taken off from my money at Humanitas, I will get my weekly 40 Euro though, and I'm happy with that. I don't have money on my ING account yet, all the money I get (income) will go to the bank from Humanitas. They will keep aan eye on it untill I payed my bills, aswell the rent will be taken off from my room, fair enough!

A full day again,but the gorgeous weather made it all good. Although I like the warm weather (15 degrees) I miss aswell a bit the Canadian winter, I liked the loads of snow, it just has something. Work went fine this morning, I made three baby wooden chairs for in the garden, was fun to do. At 11:00 I had to go to Nijverdal, to the dentist appointment. I took my scarf of when I rided my bike, it was warm enough. Wind in my back and there I went, on my way I bought something for someone, it was hard to choose but I succeeded. I hope she will be happy with it.

What did I buy? I'm not telling, it has to stay and be a suprise. I visited my Dad after that,  he was still eating in the big dinning room with the other old people, he looked good and was happy to see me. Good old Dad, so weak now in his movements, but oh so strong inside. He will be turning 74 this year, it's been three years since I didn't joined his Birthday. I was 30 minutes early for the dentist, and I had a little nap in the waiting room, LOL! No one was there, so, I just closed my eyes. The dentist was fast this time, he cleaned my tooth (rootcanal treatment) and did a check up on my other tooth. He found four tooth that needed to be refilled, ouch mouth, and ouch wallet. 

Ofcource I will get some money back from my health insurance but the question is 'how much?' I will have to ask my dentist and my healt insurance next time. I need to keep my brains working with that, and don't start to  think that others will arrange everything. On my way back I had the wind in front and not in my back, ppffeeww, what a ride, I was exhausted when I arrived at Humanitas. I took a 30 minute break and then the to the next appointment, the counseler from Humanitas was waiting. She told me that I was doing well, and the things what need to be done are moving along. It's going slowly but okay, better then standing still, right?

The counseler told me that she finds me sometimes naive, in making decicions. I agreed with her, but I told her aswell that I changed alot in Canada. Before I moved to Canada I lived a totally different live in Holland, the changing made me confussed and the break up dammaged me aswell. I will get better, I'm half way. I feel a challenge aswell,  a new life, a new house, a new job, so many new oppertunities to live a different life. It's going well, but sometimes there are those down moments, and then your feeling not so well and you feel everything stands still. It's all part of this proces. I'm healing! That takes time.

I took a shower after the counseler appointment  and then made my dinner. How Am I feeling at the moment? I can say I'm okay, I'm happy that I'm here and that the things going well. It keeps my mind of things,  but it's also important to have a little grieve moment so now and then, to empty your sadness bucketand restart again with a empty one. Otherwise you feel like your escaping from the sadness,and then you might burst out in tears or have a huge break down in the end, and that's sure not healty.