Totally forgot!
I forgot to write a post yesterday, though I kept reminding it myself, I still forgot, lol. Anyway, I will write two posts then today. These last two days we have a nice after Summer, yesterday was 25 degrees, today will be 28, just as the weather forecast forspelled. Allthough I like the sunny weather I look forward to the Fall aswell, or do they call it Autumn? Here in Holland we call it Herfst, just one word. Yesterday I felt tired and sleepy, I thought I would have several naps but it came only to two naps. Recently I have my moments that I feel lonely, certainly after last week. I think the impact of the argue and fight with my Aunt/Uncle and Cousin is bigger then I thought. I thought it would be a relief to let them be and forget about them, but deep inside it made me a bit lonely aswell. Though I don't miss the phonecalls and I don't miss the obeying them. Just... I don't know... it gives a empty, nasty feeling.
It's certainly time for some changes in my life, I said it already so many times. I need some 'new' people around me, socializing, communication, or searching for a placed to go to every week, it's a must. Just before the Summer holiday my counselor signed me up for this project called "Buddy wanted." 'Buddy wanted' is a company/agency what helps me searching for social contacts or a new activity. I have heard about it before , but I letted it be for a while. I thought I could manage it it on my own to get new activities or social contacts, but I got a bit totally stuck with finding that. It's just so hard to find something. This "Buddy Wanted," project planned to contact me after the Summer Holiday, or my counselor would do that, I forgot. I sent my counselor (Sahajo) a email to lighten me up, cause I didn't hear from them yet. I will get a email back on Monday for sure.
I'm looking forward to this project, cause I can't do it on my own. I'm aswell a person who first try things a few times, and when I don't succeed I let it be. That's wrong, specially now, lol, cause I have the feeling that I'm in the 'danger zone,' the danger that I'm becoming a Einzelganger. Though, it's not that worse as it was in that time before I went to Canada, in that time I had only two or three (so called) friends and no job. Now I have a few friends, I see much more people weekly and I got a great job. Still I need more, it's not done yet in my eyes. Being surrounded by people is important.
