"Relieved."
Nothing feels better then a relieved feeling, this Saturday was nice and felt comfy. Like I said yesterday, I just wish that Ina acts normal to me. It might sound weird, but if Ina keeps her distance and ignores me, (cause I might get 'more feelings for her) that doesn't work. It will only give me more bad thoughts and I don't want that', it was all good today. (A little bit more about her later in this post) This morning I sat in the dinning room with another guy who wanted to fix my computer, my computer crashed every 15 minutes today and yesterday and it had starting problems. The guy who helped me was a real computer wizard, he learned it all when he worked for a software factory for years. He even worked for a phone company where do install internet aswell. He knows every little thing you need on a computer and every little thing you don't need. He saw right away what the problem was, I had tons of viruses and a few trojan horses. (wow!) I didn't expect that!
The guy installed the right software and deleted the bad software, I watched him while he was doing his thing, I was amazed how he went to work. He told me he had a friend once who had a laptop what nearly was broken and was about to throw it away, but 'he' fixed it. Yeah, he's good, today I was the lucky man. "If you had waited a waited a week, you could have throwen the computer away," he told me. The trojan horses on my computer dammaged my dvd player and was already doing his thing on my hard disk. The last trojan horse was a though one, but 'he' managed it after a few curses. Yay, I was happy as a little kid. He asked me ten Euro before he started his job, but in the end I gave him twenty. He worked more then four hours on my computer.
While we worked on the computer Ina joined us aswell in the dinning room, she made some eggs for herself and sat with us. She talked and joked around with me normal, and it relieved me. That's the way I like it.
Last night I shoved away my feelings or thoughts of her aside as far as I possibly could, now when she and I act normal to each other it feels alot better. It gives me a easier feeling to talk to her, away with the stress, the pushing and the bad thoughts. I know she doesn't have feelings for me, it's really fine with me. I know she isn't my type and I know I'm not ready for a relationship yet, the friendship instead feels good. Around eleven in the morning another resident took care of the coffee for us, we usually have coffee-breaks in the week, but if you go the office there will be always one staff member who will want to make some coffee. It was nice in the dinning room, we joked around and had fun with each other. What a relieved feeling, it felt so much better then the last three or four days. It's one more week for Johannus and his two kids, then they will be gone to another city, I will miss them and specially Ricardo. He was naughty though a few times today.
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| Goofy! |
If he's with me and he's naughty he will know what will happen. I will send him upstairs to his Dad, and he doesn't like that, he rather stay's with me. Although the weather was bad today, Ricardo and I took a little ride on our bikes. He had alot of coins with him, 1 Euro and 65 cents,most of them were 5 cent coins. He bought an icecream for it, and it costed him 1 Euro 60, he had 5 cent's left, LOL! After the icecream I had to buy some grocery at my favorite store, 'Albert Hein.' It's a nice store, most of the time expensive but they have cheap stuff aswell. I needed alot of stuff cause my little tiny fridge was empty, it was so busy at the store. It seemed the customers were stalking me, everywhere I go they followed me or they were a step before me to tease me. In needed meat, but some people were blocking the way to my favorite meat section, on purpose? Hmmm!
I needed some nice deserts but people were blocking the desert section, again on purpose? Hmmm! LOL! Blame the Saturday shopping madness! When I got back from the grocery shop I saw johannus aswell and he took Ricardo with him, pffeww! Again, Ina sat in the dinning room but this time with her eleven year old daughter, I joined them and again it was nice and comfy. Joking and fun together, this is how I like it. I can also leave her alone and go sit somewhere else or visit another resident while 'she' sit's there. It's really fine with me, the feeling that things are settled like I want them to be relieves me.
And how do I want it then? Just like it went today, no pushing, no stress, just getting along with 'her' just like I do with the other residents. I must say weekends are usually boring here at Humanitas but I can say now aswell that this Saturday was nice, lots to do, alot of people around me, joking, talking. This calls for more often days like this in the weekend!
