Sunday, April 3, 2011

I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine - she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights.

I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine - she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights. 


Remembering slightly my Mom today, it's Mothersday. Rememebering her does me good, I wish I knew if she would still be alive what she would think of me now, being in this situation. I think she would think I did a silly thing, I don't know. I spend more time with my mother then with my Father, Father was the working man in the house. He worked in three shifts, so he wasn't much home besides the weekend, and if he was there he rested or slept. So, yeah I spend alot of time with Mom, Mom was the engine of the Family you could say. If she wasn't around me and Dad were hopeless. 


If I had a problem or had a little cry or whatever I went to my Mom. I had many talks with her, I remember aswell our bike rides and the visits to the park. Ofcource I spent time aswell with my Dad, we spent alot of times together as a family. But Mom was 'the Mom,'  the engine. I remember one time I got fired from a job, I think I was 26. I just finnished the afternoon shift and I had to tell my Mom and Dad the bad news. When I cam home my Dad sat on the couch wathing tv. And Mom was upstairs.When I came in the room I told Dad the bad news, "I got fired, Dad!" 

My dad didn't know what to say, he stumbled in his words. And he decided that 'Mom' had to come downstairs for a talk and prolly a solution. My Dad wasn't good in speaking his words, he never could. Poor Dad. Mom came downstairs and sat with us and started to talk. Then we all talked and everything and everyone calmed down. Mom the wizzard! Mom was always there, she worked hard in her householdings. She would do the ironing in the kitchen, while she was cooking instead. Mom was 'old fashion,' in a good way, I saw that sometimes back in Saf's behaviour. 


Always there for you and you were always welcome, My Mom was a family mother, always friendly and caring. Mom passed away in the year 2000, August 11th. That day I still remember, she wasn't feeling so well, and decided to go to her doctor, Dad went with her. I was tired that day aswell, took many naps and lay downs for my rest. When Mom came back from the doctor, she said, "The doctor told me it was just a little stomach flue and I have to take it easy." And so she did. 


Dad went off to the grocery store like he always did on Friday morning, I went upstairs to have a little lay down again. While I was upstairs I could slightly hear little noises comming from downstairs, Mom was doing some cleaning, and I thought to myself, "Geesh, get some rest, Mom, take it easy." Rest and taking it easy didn't excisit with Mom, always busy or doing things. I fell asleep, and suddenly I heard a loud 'beng!' I was half awake and thought, "Sigh! Mom, again." 


I woke up after five minutes and stared at the ceiling, I didn't hear any noises comming from downstairs, and I found it akward. Then I remembered the loud 'beng,' from five minutes ago. I though, "This isn't good." I went downstairs and was suspicious and scared, In the back of my head I thought, "There is something with Mom," I opened the kitchen door and she wasn't there. I looked further in the kitchen and in the other room and, I found her laying half outside and half inside. She fell trough the doorscreen, that must have been the loud sound. 


I yelled "Mom!" and jumped over her (I didn't touch her or anything, cause I found that scary) I ran to the neighbor for help and she came and I called right away the ambulance, I did everything what was possible and what I needed to do in less then five minutes. Mom still layed there, and I and the neighbor were in the kitchen. A few more neighbors came. I couldn't look at Mom, scary, frighten, unbelievable, nervous. I thought aswell that my Dad could come back in any minute. The ambulance came in 15 minutes, and I ran outside to guide them.


The ambulance people took right away action, and did everything what was possible. I was still in the kitchen, like I was floating, and was frozen from the outside. The ambulance people gave up and came into the kitchen, and sat down with me, then they told me that my Mom passed away. My first reaction was, "Okay," no tears, nothing, just silince. Mom's doctor came later and the Family came aswell, I think I called everyone. Dad came back and saw the ambulance and the many cars, he ran inside, and sat beside Mom, who was laying on the couch. Dad cried, and couldn't stop. I still was in the kitchen with some other family members. 


When the ambulance took Mom away I went slowly in to the other livingroom and sat with the Family. I knew that Mom passed away, but I just had no tears. I can't describe the feeling, I was concerned about my Dad aswell, I was shocked that Mom passed away so all of a sudden, I thought, "Dad will be next." It was hard to see that in the end of the day all the family members were leaving, and Dad and I sat at the kitchen table alone. Mom was gone, the ambulance took her away to the funeral house. I still was concerned about my Dad and did everything possible to help him and be there for him. ofcource I took my time to grieve aswell. 


I never went to a funeral, as a Family member passed away,I always stayed home. I found it scary, My Mom used to say, "One day you have too." The funeral of my Mom went okay, I had to cry many times, and it felt like a relief to cry. I love you Mom! 

Gosh, I realized that this post is kinda sad, isn't it? That wasn't my attention though, I was so into this post while writting. Anyway I will make it up to you guys in the next post. 


p.s. I added my old blog 'Some1new,' in the blogs I follow list. If someone is interested in reading it, be my guest.

John Lennon - Mother