"Love that cares, listens."
Sometimes couples need to be seperated for a while and just let them be. Maybe it will heal, or maybe it wont, but atleast they need the rest what they deserve. I know some couples that have been seperated for a half year and decided later to come back to each other. That's possible aswell, but this seperation is unbelievable, it's alot of pressure for this Family and it's going way to fast. I know that Humanitas is not a good place for Families, sitting with each other 24 hours a day on each other's lip isn't that healty. Anyway, seeing Johannus cry did something to me, he talks alot about his girl, he sure has regrets. But I'm not gonna choose sides, and I'm not gonna stand in between. Or am I doing that already? I take care sometimes of Ricardo, today was hectic. Ricardo knocked on my door at 1:00 pm, I just woke up from a nap. He throwed his schoolbag in the corner and sat with me, apearantly he came right from school to my room. "Are you going to the store?" He asked me.
I answered, "Maybe, but I'm not sure," he was way to early. I was still tired and exhausted, it was my day of from work aswell. I like spending time with him but to much is to much, but okay. His Dad was fixing his computer with his Nephew, "let's go see them," I told Ricardo. His Dad and Ricardo had planned to go feed the geesses today, and Ricardo asked me to join us. That was alright with me, so we could go right after that to the store. Ricardo Happy, me satisfied. It was a nice out, but Ricardo was a bit naughty and not listening, he had his adhd medication a bit to late. Ricardo bought a tray of 12 pop cans (little ones) and he finnised them all in 3 hours. Johannus stayed calm and that suprised me, he guided and parented his son nicely. After the geeses we sat in the garden to have a little rest. Ricardo played football, and sat with me for a few minutes while Johannus went to the toilet. I spoke to Ricardo for a bit and told him that he needs to listen more often otherwise he would get punished more, then I hugged him.
It was nearly time for the ' free dinner,' Ricardo asked me to bring him with me. His Dad said "No," in the first place, but Ricardo wanted to go. Johannus didn't wanna go, that's understandable, the people will be talking there and ask questions. I thought about it for a few minutes and decided to take Ricardo with me, on the bike. Johannus needed to go somewhere and would be back shortly, I took care of Ricardo. He was a nice boy whit dinner, I bet it had to do with the french fries we were getting, he ated it all. After the dinner we went to 'Action,' it's a store like the ' Dollar store'. I planned to buy some color books and some color pencils, Ricardo saved some money and wanted to buy something too, he bought two boxes what he had to fold himself, plus a bottle of Pepsi. He always has his saved money in his pocket, so I decided to but him a cheap little wallet, it was all good. Funny when we arrived at the cash register, Ricardo puts all the small money (coins) he has into the cashier's hands and letted her count the right amount of money, he does it in every shop.
It made me think while I spended time with Ricardo, that it goes so easy this parenting, this taking care of him. It makes me proud of myself, it makes me feel good, I'm not that a bad Father, LOL! I can be proud of myself. When we got back at Humanitas Johannus was already back from his 'going out,' I sat with him and his two sons for a while, Ricardo was folding his new boxes. After the folding he wanted to go with me to my room to color, like I promised him. While coloring he seemed to be busy and hectic, he was full of energy and just a bit to hyper. It made me tired and I asked him to take it easy, "I'm busy," he replied with a laugh. I became tired and had a bit of enough from this afternoon, and decided that it was enough, I spend almost 7 hours with Ricardo. He refused and became angry at me, I asked him to be nice to me, then Johannus knocked on my door right on time, Ricardo shouted that he didn't want to see me anymore.
I came towards Ricardo and I told him that I spent the whole afternoon with him, then I summed all up what we did and what we bought. "You won't get this done with the other residents here," I told him. He replied, "Yeah? well, we didn't even go for a bikeride on my bike." Sigh! I told him that if he wants to spend time with me this comming days he has to be nice. He was to hyper to understand this and I letted him be. We cleared up the coloring books and pensils and sat a while in the big 'green 'living room. Ricardo was still full of energy and became a bit naughty, I had enough and thought to myself, "It wont be long now till I have time for myself, Ricardo needs to go to bed."
Ricardo's Mom came into the big room and asked Johannus to take care of his youngest Son while she goes into the shower, first they talked for a little while. I felt I was right in the middle of a seperated couple and I didn't like it. Taking care of Ricardo this week, talking to Johannus and comfort him, ugh! I need to take a little step back, I will atleast try. After 20 minutes Johannus and I decided to call it a night, Johannus's ex was done with showering. First Johannus asked me to go with him for one more walk, but I refused, it was enough. I went to my room and thought, "Finally a 'me' time." I need to take a step back. After 20 minutes Johannus knocked on my door again, and he told me that he had a little walk with his Son, the look on his face told me enough, I needed to sit with him for 5 minutes. I explained him though that I had a long day, and that I didn't had much time for myself, he understood.
I went to my room after 10 minutes, and decided not to come out anymore, it's 'me,' time now. What did I learn about this afternoon? Maybe that I become a bit to much involved into the seperated couple, and that I need to take a step back. Or maybe that I care to much and that I want to help, but I know aswell that's not up to me, I don't want to get involved. I care about Ricardo and the situation he is in now grabs me, but enough is enough. Sometimes I need to be a bit tougher to him, and not only him. "Assertiveness," learn to say 'no' when you want to say no. I know what to do, and I will.
p.s. I told Ricardo before he went to bed, that he had to write 100 times on a piece of paper that's he's sorry for shouting to Sjon today, before Friday. He smilled and told me that he can't count till 100,we both laughed. "Okay 50 then," I asked, Okay, "I'll try," he responded.
Damn cute Kiddo!
