Thursday, March 17, 2011

That was akward...for a moment...

That was akward...for a moment...


Another full day at work, and I'm loving it. I worked alone today at some wooden tables, two other guys were doing something else. The radio was full on and we sang some songs, fun! I made three small wooden tables, without a picture, just a few models and trying to figure it out how to make it. The Boss was fine with it, when the shift was almost ended I was done with the tables, all three of them. I love my work, and no, I'm not over-reacting, lol!

When the working day ended today I was exhausted, three days is really the limit what I can do, perhaps four days but, for now it's only three days. My boss told me today to take care of your energy with your sick thyroid, there is no rush and take a look how you handle your energy. I have that sometimes in me that rushing, until a certain limit though. If I had enough and I'm out of energy I will slow down, it's a must.

Somewhat akward moment this morning, I mean in the first place it was akward, but in the end it was just nothing, or... I think most of you know that I stopped having contact with Saf, just so I could focus a 100% on my future. I always felt that I focussed more on her and the kids then what I really had to focus on. There friendship was more important for me then anything else, it's okay to stay  friends but, if it stops you in doing much more important things, then you have a problem. And I think Saf and I both figured out that friendship is not working after a 'fresh' break up.

I really don't hate her, all I ever wanted (and I think Saf does too) is/was to break up as friends, and not to break up as enemys or with angry faces. That's for me important. Okay, back to the akward moment, I had a e-mail from Saf this morning, and it made me feel akward, cause it's been a while since I saw her on my hotmail messages. I choosed for the 'no contact.' I felt myself pushed back two months, what could be in the mail? Is she upset? I was worried.

The mail was just about that I had to correct something in my blog, and she asked me how I did with my work. But (I guess) my reaction back to her was to impulsive, I answered her questions and corrected the things in my blog, no big deal. Then I explained her about the 'No more contacting with her,' why I did it and why I wanted it, in a nice way.  It was tough and hard to write 'that' down, because how on earth do you explain someone who you not hate, where you would  like to stay friends with, to not contact me anymore for a long while?

I made it myself so difficult this morning, I finnished the mail, I red it over a ten times and corrected it several times, just to not get Saf upset. I'm not ready yet for contacting her. Saf just wrote me a short mail with a few questions, I should have just answered it and let it be. Maybe I shouldn't have answered the mail with the 'no more contacting' explaining. Just had to answer her questions and that's it. I hope she gets my point and understands me, I'm moving on and she does too, both seperad ways. 

But still I'm hoping, that in the near future we can contact each other again, just a quick hello, or a 'how are you doing,' I would like to  know if we both are happy with our own lifes. Gosh, I hope this post made some sense.... I can't express myself sometimes with words. 

The 'free' dinner tonight was delicious, it was rice with veggies and chicken breasts. I was hungry and ated two plates. I was full! I'm a little concerned about my money, the ING does take so long. I want to do online banking,  and the ING sent me already my username by mail. Now I'm waiting for my new password what ING needs to sent, if I can do online banking I can copy my bankstatements from the last three months.

I need these bankstatements so hard, cause the CWI wants to see them, so that I can finally fill in my form for my extra money. It's been almost 6 weeks for asking ING for online banking, ugh! Today the ING sent me a mail and I thought it was the new password but no, it was the travel insurance from ING what I asked for before I went to Canada. It's a continueing insurance, meaning I have to pay for it every year. Well, I want my password ING! And not a continueing travel insurance where I can't pay for.

Correction~ 

Like I said Saf sent me a mail and she asked me to correct something in, so here we go. Saf and I were in a relationship for one and a half year, I met her in March 2009. Then I went back to Holland for two weeks, after the two weeks I returned to Canada for six months. The six months were ended and I returned for a month to Holland, Saf and Ab joined me a week later. After the four weeks we both returned to Canada and I didn't return back to Holland. This all happened in 2009. Our break up was in December 2010 and I returned in January 2011 back to Holland. Counting this all up, makes it that I was in Canada for 1 year and 9 months. 


Why do I keep saying then three years? Am I such a bad counter then? Perhaps I started to count with 2009 as one year already, (2009/1), (2010/2), (2011/3?) Anyway, correction acomplished.