"Enough is enough."
The Bold and the Beautifull or As the world turns?
Johannus is not himself anymore, he has crying moments and can't sleep at night. He's restless and suspicious about his ex, he keeps talking about her, sigh! Ricardo? He's a bit different too, he seems calm and quiet, the 'adhd' seemed to be disapeared. I feel sorry for him that he has to go trough this, his Dad wants to talk about his problems to every resident, but he has to be aware that his Son is standing next to him. I would like to help Ricardo but I can't really be there for him.The child custody and Humanitas told Johannus that I have to spent less time with Ricardo, and I sure understand that. I spend way to much time with the little one, Ricardo likes me cause I spent time with him and I gave him the attention he needs. I like him too, I like how I take care of him, I like him he's cute. Perhaps it's the fact that I miss the taking care of the two little ones in Canada, Tasn and Ab.
I miss those kids too so now and then, miss being around them, I feel there's a empty space without them, and Ricardo fills that space. But I know it's not healty to play the Dad for Ricardo and I know that I have to take a step back, it was getting to much for Ricardo and his Dad. But aswell for me, Ricardo needs to spend time with his Dad alot more, he has the custody now over him. Child custody and Humanitas decided that I can spend time with Ricardo only on wednessday for two hours and in the weekend for only two hours. Ofcource I will bump into Ricardo daily here, that is okay, it's not that I have to avoid him or that we have to lock ourselves up. I'm fine and okay with the decision. I do still feel sorry for Ricardo though, I really hope his Dad takes good care of him, he deserves that!
Now the turning point. Something has happend, and Johannus went mad, but stayed calm. Jo informed me on MSN that his ex-girlfriend slept with another resident a few days ago. I know the resident and most of the other residents knows him too, Johannus was getting along aswell with him. But now? Wow, Jo couldn't believe what has happend, his buddy at Humanitas betrayed him with his own ex. Jo and his girl were just seperated a few days ago, and now this. How did Johannus find out? Johannus brought Ricardo upstairs to his Mom, (ex) cause Jo had to go somewhere to help someone in the Family moving. Ricardo saw the other resident comming from Mom's room while walking upstairs. When Johannus arrived the resident was already gone, but this resident has a very strong perfume.
Johannus got suspicious and asked his ex girlfriend about it, ofcource she says, "No." Ricardo went to his Mom's bed to have a little laydown and he smelled the strong perfume and right away regonizes the perfume and tells his Dad about it. Johannus walks away cause he had to go, and Ricardo needed to get ready for school. Johannus's ex needed to take care of Ricardo that he's on time for school. Johannus informed me about this drama in the evening on MSN, I already wandered that day where Johannus and Ricardo were. They were staying with a friend but they will return to Humanitas to get some clothes within 15 minutes, cause they were both planning to get a weekend out. I asked Johannus if I could see them before they went, he said, "No, I need to get some clothes and were gone, we will be back Sunday." He knocked on my door just before he went for the weekend, LOL! Confussed tough guy!
He spoke again about his ex, he still couldn't believe it. Ricardo was staring at the floor, he was obliviously tired. Poor little fellow, I felt sorry for him. I took him on my lap, Johannus told me that he might get a fever cause he's feeling hot. "Take good care of him, and be a bit quiet when you talk about the ex infront of him," I told him, "He sure knows it by now." Johannus responded, "I sure will," I understand that Johannus is confussed and mad, but he has to keep it down a bit infront of his Son. Otherwise he will have a breakdown and that's not right for a guy of his age. The time had come that Johannus wanted to go and there they went, Ricardo slept in the car. Today early in the morning they came already back, so far the long weekend out? In about an hour Ricardo knocked on my door, with Johannus standing beside him, Johannus told about where he spent the night, he was with Frank. He goes there often now, it's better then staying here.
It was 8:00 am and they asked me to come with them to the market, I was tired and I refussed. I had a appointment with Paula aswell at 11:00 I told Johannus. "Maybe in the afternoon," I said. I went for a nap, and Johannus and his Son were going to the market. (*I will tell tomorrow about my appointment with Paula*) While the appointment was still going on Johannus knocked on the office door where I sat with Paula, my appointment was almost done though, and it was alright he came in with Ricardo. Paula talked a bit with Johannus, Johannus talked about his ex again ofcource. After a little while Ricardo asked me to go with Dad and him to go to the market, "If that's alright with your Dad, then it's alright, sure," I told him. His Dad was alright with that, he actually insisted. Johannus asked me if I was ready, I told him that I need to change my clothes first and that I'll be done in 10 minutes. When I came back to the office (dressed properly) Ricardo was standing there and told me not to go into the office, "We need to stay here, cause daddy is in a conversation with Paula.
It was going rough and I took care of Ricardo, he was to calm and not himself. I held him in my hands for a bit and played a bit. After Johannus's talk we took off to the market, Again Johannus spoke constantly about the ex. Ricardo walked around like not himself, he didn't even want a candy when I offered him one. After the walk I told Johannus to be calm and give it all a rest, "I need my rest too," I told him, "I'm taking another nap." It gets tired after a while all that talking from him, sure he wants and needs to talk, but I can't help him, I can only give him some advice and that's it. I explained him that I don't want to get involved aswell, and that I don't want to choose sides. I spend time with him cause I feel sorry for him and specially for his son, but I don't want other residents to talk bad about me, I don't want that they think I choose a side. Aswell I have my own problems too and I need time for myself.
He sure understood, and he took off with his Son again, he planned to get some fish from the market. I was napping and napping, lol. I felt I was out of breath, I was happy that I took the rest and that I could take the rest I needed. After my dinner Johannus came back with Ricardo, I could tell that Jo is not calm but restless, he wants to know what's going on with his ex, where she is, what she's doing, etc, ect. And he's dragging Ricardo with him. I really hope that he does not crazy things what he will regret later, he can't do that for his Son and for himself. Everytime Johannus hears a door or a car he gets up to see who it is, it makes Ricardo suspicious and frighten too. If they would ask me what's the best option is for Johannus and Ricardo then it would be that he needs to get out of here and start to get focused on his Son and on his future.
He worries about his second younger son aswell, "That's why I'm so restless and suspicious," he told me. "My little Son is together with my ex and that other resident where my ex slept with, and that worries me," he shouted. I understood him. The day was comming to an end and I told them both to be calm and try to give it a rest. I just had a little time with Ricardo tonight just before he had to go to bed, cause Johannus had to go to fill the gas tank. I joked around with Ricardo and petted him, it was nice to see him laugh. But I know he loves his Dad very much, I sure I could tell, I was happy with that.
How am I under this all? Am I not to much involved? I might be yes, I have the feeling I am, but I know aswell what to do and where the line is. If it gets TO much I sure will take a step back, cause I need to do that for myself. I told Johannus today about getting involved to much twice, and I'm proud of myself I did. I told a few times 'no' aswell, (being assertive, lol) Sometimes it's hard to say 'no,' cause I feel sorry for them specially Ricardo. But I have to. So far it's all good, no worries here!
