It's time to man up and focus on Holland!
But it's not easy, I got to stop whining and feeling bad, it doesn't change the situation, it makes it only worse! I will slowly try this, and I think that is what the Family wants from me aswell. If I walk around with a sad or mad face they will think to them selves, "Yeah, help yourself, we are moving on." I feel slightly a challenge going back to Holland, but it will be tough! I talked to Saf a bit today about my plan to go back to Holland on Sunday or Monday, and she said "Okay," (I think) I was nerves that she wouldn't accept it with me going on a Sunday or Monday.
Her Daughter is coming this Friday, and Saf wanted me 'out' before she comes. She is now here to spend the weekend. So, I think when I go on Sunday, it will be alright. Cause she is here now too and I'm still sleeping in my room, a few days more or less will be okay. I'm going and that's what Saf wants, we both need to move on. Today was good, (Gotta stay positive! LOL), Saf was friendly and that was a surprise, cause last night Saf wanted cerely but the celery was frozen. My bad, cause I putted the cerely in the wrong fridge.
Saf came back from her night shift, and I offered to help out to get the kids to school. It was only the 13 year old and Tammy's daughter, the other kids are still in Hamilton at there Dad's. Piece of cake, and I told Saf to go to bed. After they got off to the school bus, I putted my coat and snow boots on, and decided to go for a walk. I went to the local supermarket, to buy some cerely! I wanted to suprice Saf with new fresh cerely. I bought two actually, and a Reese chocolate bar, her favorite. Why am I doing this? cause I felt bad about last night, I screwed up and I bought this for her.
When I got back I hanged the bag of cerely at her door, but (damn) she woke up. She told me half awake "What are you doing, what is in the bag?" She looked at me like I was doing something silly. I went off and she went back to sleep, I don't even think she saw the bag, she was half asleep. Saf woke up later, and was happy with the cerely, she thanked me, and went downstairs. Today the three and seven year old come back from there dad's, Ab and Tasn. We did a bit of cleaning and had a nice dinner afterwards. The kids came back after dinner, around 7:00, and the 15 year old (Noor) and her girlfriend went back to Hamilton.
It was good to see Tasn, the seven year old again, it's been a while. Ab, the three year old was tired and grumpy. It was a long ride for both of them. I missed Tasn, I really hope I get alot of time with her the last six or seven days. Tonight was a bit hectic with the kids, cause they probably had a sleep in the car while driving to Barrie. They were awake and not ready to sleep, and Saf needed to go to work. I offered to help and told Saf, "I will keep an eye on them untill Cle comes back. (she was out) Saf replied, "Okay." I told Saf, "When Cle comes back I will take care of Tasn and then Ab can go downstairs with Cleo.
When Cle came back she took them both downstairs for there sleep. Sigh! I looked so forward to put Tasn to sleep, I haven't seen the sweetheart for four days.But oh well, tomorrow perhaps another day.
