Not feeling much to write a post, but In my head I feel I had to, lol. And why not? Right? My 'new clothing style shopping' is going well, last weekend I had a good 'buy' while shopping. Last weekend I went out to Apeldoorn, Apeldoorn is about a little 60 minutes away from my city with the train. A hour further and your in Amsterdam, lol, but anyway, Apeldoorn it was. Apeldoorn is a nice city to shop, though there is not much to see when your looking for architecture, monuments and historical sight seeings. But like I said, new clothing style shopping it was .
The first two shops were right away a success, I visited 2 huge clothing stores where the price weren't that incredible high. And most clothing were on sale! I knew what I was looking for, so that helped. I looked around first but didn't buy what I actually liked first, I might find the same items for a much better price further in the city. I really took my time to explore the city and wandered around, there was a nice park aswell. The weather was good, not to cold and here and there a cloud. After a few hours and a coffee break I made my choice and went back to the stores where I went to first.
I bought 2 pair of colored jeans for 18 Euro, a belt for 3 Euro and a pair of blue suede shoes for 60 Euro. I had doubts with the shoes first , I liked them so much but the price was so, so. I thought, if I don't buy them now, I will regret it later. After my shopping and wandering around I returned home satisfied. A nice Saturday it was. Last Friday I went to my Doctor to get a paper to check my blood at the hospital. I knew I needed my hospital card aswell while checking my blood, but that card went lost in America, lol. But that wasn't a problem, at the hospital they made right away a new card.
I was actually surprised about that, but good that it went that way, the making of the card took only 5 minutes.. Today I picked up my blood results at the Doctor, normally I can just call for the results, but the Doctor would like to see me. The results were good! But even though they were good, I still feel not that well, a bit short breathed, tired plus I feel sometimes loney, feel like I wanna cry. Not always though, but just sometimes I have such moments. I think the impact of my trip to Jan has a part to do with that, I returned from that trip and I felt lonely and had it difficult with adjusting my life.
It took a while to adjust, but after a few weeks the adjusting went easier and easier. I think it might have to do aswell that I lost my last parent recently, my Dad. I felt okay and moved on after a month, I thought it didn't effect me. To be honest I still think it doesn't effect me, I had the same feeling when I lost my Mom, not much effects. But even though the effect can still be there somewhere hidding. My visit to Jan felt good, perhaps it was needed When I got back from that visit it hitted me right in the spot. Maybe I do need some more grieving, maybe I am grieving at the moment, or still grieving.
I know grieving takes time, some need a long time and some a short time. You can't really say how long that time is, grieving is a proces. Now I'm not saying that I'm feeling lonely and sad 24 hours a day, oh no! Like I said, I have my sad moments so now and then. It's needed, and they are welcome, even though it's not fun, lol. Next week a counselor will see me, he made a appointment with me a few months ago, he wanted to know how my trip was to Atlanta, lol. While being there and telling my trip story I can aswell bring up the 'grieving' subject. He's a nice guy and he's funny. It will be good, I have been trough alot the last few years, this is just a little bump in the road like everyone has. Such is life!
