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I told him that I'm a bit worried about my money, this is my second week that I will take it (very) easy with my money. My counselor said that taking it easy with the money is quit okay, but the worrying need to stop. Easier said then done, lol. But it felt good that he gave me a few tips and that he told me to stop worry, there is no need to worry. One of the tips he gave me was that I should make a kind of a balance with my money, or how you call it. I should write down on a piece of paper what comes in and what goes out, or what I earn and what I have to pay. For example, on the left or right side of the paper I write down all my earnings and incommings from every month, and next to that I write all what I have to pay every month.
Now I can see what goes and what comes in, so I can make a sort of a balance. And then? Well, I still need to figure it out aswell though, lol, but so far? This is all I know. I think Sunday is a perfect day to brainstorm on this tip from my counselor. If it goes good I can figure out what I hold over in the month what I can use for myself, for example for grocery or clothing or just other nice stuff. It could be quit handy, I never used it though, I'm always carefull with my money. But what I have learned this year is that it's sure okay sometimes to be NOT that easy with my money, don't overreact it. It's okay, I don't have to have 8, or 9.000 on my account for example, the important thing is that I get by with my money and that I can enjoy myself with it too.
I'm not gonna save it though either, I'm not gonna save for later. Tomorrow it can all be over, so, enjoy! Enjoy but do it gentle, lol. My counselor and I talked aswell about having 'contacts,' meaning that I have to go out and meet people, join a gym or a club, or whatever, be under the people. That was one of my goals too when I still lived at Humanitas. My goals were, finding a house, getting a proper job, travel, and see people, communicate. Perhaps finding new friends. Ofcource I have work and I see people there, but that's different. Ofcource I go out sometimes, to flea-markets or I'm having a day out but that too is different. Sure it's good too that I enjoy myself, but it's good for me aswell that I for example walk into a gym and ask them, "What is going on here? How can I join this gym?"
That was just a example, it's difficult to explain this. Let's try again, lol, I would like to have something to do 'with' people. Let's say that I go for example on a Sunday to a cursus learning how to sing or cook or perhaps dance or whatever, just to be under the people, have fun and communicate, I might even make new friends. I sometimes still have that little fear to walk into a building, and ask for things. That fear was strong when I was a little kid, slowly when I got older it vanished. But still so now and then it comes back, depands of where I have to go ofcource. This year and aswell my years in Canada I had to go sometimes in buildings, there was no turning back, sometimes I really had too, that learned me how to copy with the fears I still had.
Specially this year, I have seen so many community buildings from the inside, and I had to ask so many difficult questioins to 'important' people. That was a good lesson, I want to keep that up, the goal to meet other people and join a gym or a cursus will surely help me aswell with keeping away the fear that I had. I have changed and I like the way I changed, I would like to keep that. It's all good! I like my goals.Alright, tonight a fellow worker from work will visit me for a short while, he's the one who came at the same time with me working, he came aswell from Reha. His name is Jeffrey, he's a nice guy. He was always bored in the weekends, so I invited him. Nice!
