Fast Wednesday.....

Fast Wednesday.....

Just a day off and it's going so fast, before you know it's already evening and time to go to bed. But it was a nice day, I had a good sleep aswel. Usually I get up early (very early) but this morning I slept in a little, I got up at 7:30. I took it easy and enjoyed my breakfast and my laptop, I finally could log into my ING bank account aswell. What a relief, although I'm not a super fan of banking online, but hey logging in without problems is nice, right? I still have that awkward and anxious feeling when I log in on my ING, nerves that my money is shorten, or worried that my money is more less then I expected. I have to get used to log in more, and knowing that everything is okay.

My counselor was early today, it's been a month since he visited me. This visit will be our last regular visit, next week there will be a farewell party. (with guests) Not really a party ofcource, but just a last visit with rounding things of and perhaps a toast on the happy ending. My counselor invited a few people, people who were important while being at Humanitas and people who guided me afterwards. One woman from Humanitas will be there, the boss from my counselor and Paula my first counselor from Humaniats, I asked for her. And surprisingly my Boss from work will come too, (woot!) my counselor sent several invites, aswell one to my Boss. I told my counselor a few weeks ago not to invite her, cause it might be awkward for her, It gives me a awkward feeling too. 

My counselor didn't agree with me and he called her anyway, my Boss was surprisingly excited to come. Still I don't know, it gives me that 'pushing her' feeling, she might be busy, and it's still find it awkward to invite a Boss. Who on earth invites a Boss to his or her's house? I signed a contract just a month ago, I'm not that 'close' yet to this job. I hope my Boss didn't find it weird when my counselor called last week, I hope she doesn't find 'me' weird aswell after the invite. Is this not creepy this invite? will she not find the invite kinda creepy? Okay stop it now Sjon! Enough! LOL! (Oh, I'm just a bit worried about my counselor inviting my Boss, slightly worried that she might stop the contract on the end of the year cause of the invite.)


I need to get started with 'having more social contacts,' joining a team or a club, joining a group of people or a sport. My counselor said it aswell. "Your talking alot over joining this and that, but it's only talk, nothing has happened yet,"  I'm doing my best to find something for in the weekend, but it's going slow. It's hard to find something here in this city, I'm aswell busy with work. Though my counselor is slightly right, I know I have to find social contacts and I really want to, but it's not happening, it though.... I hope I find something soon, cause it's so important to have social contacts. I enjoy going out, and I do that so now and then, but alone! So now and then I like being on my own, but hey, it's so now and then much more fun to go out with another person, or with a group of friends. 

I remember a few questions my counselor asked me today, he asked me if I have a few persons in my life where I can tell my story to, or where I can be open with, etc, like if you have a problem or you have something to say what you don't want to tell to strangers. After thinking I answered, "No I don't really have, uhm, or, well, maybe, I don't know. It made me think, and funny enough I thought about this a few weeks ago aswell, I don't have close friends. It would be different if a few people from Facebook would live in the neighborhood, lol! But still, I need to get surrounded by more people, getting more social contacts.