If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I will prolly become a genius this week.

If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I will prolly become a genius this week. 

A bit of a weird day today, while I was working fellow worker Jeffrey came up to me, he just had a conversation with the Boss and with his traject counselor. (Jeffrey came to Slettenhaar the same time with me, he came aswell from Reha, just like me) He had bad news to tell, this will be the last week for him at Slettenhaar, he doesn't have to come back in January. The reason was the huge lack of work, wich we both already knew off. Jeffrey told me aswell that the Boss told him that Sjon has to go too. (Hmm akward  from my Boss to tell him that) Now Jeffrey is a layed back guy and isn't that a talker, just like me a bit. I took his saying seriously. Although I asked him a few times, "Did the Boss say that?" Jeffrey's answer, "Yes."

I was confused, I already started to think that I will get a conversation too and that this week will be my last week aswell. My motivation went a bit down, and started to make plans ahead for this week. I will go back to Reha if Slettenhaar fires me, Reha will go find another job for me as soon as possible. But my motivation to go as soon as possible to another job is 00,000%, a little break let's say a month would be nice. A month at work at Reha to slow down a bit and build up my motivation again to go to another job would be good. I'm not even fired yet and I'm already making plans ahead, lol. Funny enough I felt a bit of a relief aswell, working at Slettenhaar is a though job, hard and heavey work.

The day went on and I did my work properly as always, just that sometimes I thought to myself, "Why do I even bother, I will be fired this week, it's over, I'm fine with it. I had my thoughts and I made my plans already for this week, it's good. It wasn't so busy at work cause a few people had a day off and a few were sick, my other Boss who follows me and gives me duties was having a day off aswell. But I knew what to do and I did my work well, that was a nice feeling. In the late afternoon I got a phonecall from my counselor from Reha, I thought, "Okay there you have it, that's it!" But the phonecall wasn't about the 'my last week,' it was about the Christmas brunch at Reha, lol. I can just come to the brunch, no problem. 

I felt a little relief cause of the brunch, I felt reliefed aswell cause of I had my Reha counselor on the phone. She leads me to this 'testing' project at Slettenhaar, she found this job for me aswell. I talked her about what Jeffrey  said this morning. My counselor heared here and there a few things already about it from Jeffrey's counselor, but has nothing heared that I will be fired. Strangely that I still didn't had a conversation yet today with my Boss, and it was already 4:30 pm almost. My counselor told me trough the phone that I have to hear it personally from my Boss when or if I will be fired, and not trough another person. But I trust Jeffrey a 100%, he would never say, "The Boss said you will be prolly fired aswell," just like that. 

So yeah, mixed feelings, but the counselors phonecall give me a tiny bit of hope again, who knows, right? Hope aswell about the thought, "If I would get fired the Boss would have come to me already today for a conversation, but she didn't. My counselor will call my Boss tomorrow morning she told me, and ask her for some details. Another thought I had aswell today was that my Boss wants to keep me untill 22 of December (after that the Christmas vacation starts) and then prolly she will fire me, oh Sjon! Well, I don't like that they hold me on a line like that, with all there nice and smooth talk. Negative thoughts I know, but alright I will hear it tomorrow, or prolly later this week. In the meanwhile I will just do my work,

And hey, to be honest, I almost made the decicion to stay home tomorrow and the rest of the week, cause I couldn't be bothered, I will be sick. I was a 100% sure I would be fired this week, but the counselor's phonecall gave me a bit of a boost and a little hope. This day was not all that negative, I had a nice day aswell. The other fellow workers and I goofed around and had alot of nice talks, it was a nice but confussing day. I'm such a goof sometimes, a little ashamed here, lol. So yeah, tomorrow or later this week I will hear it, stay or go. If I have to go, it's fine, then it just has to be that way. I wont get mad or go into a panic attack. It as as it is. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though.