"Dad's in the hospital."

"Dad's in the hospital."

I recieved a phonecall this morning just before 9:00 am, I looked on my cellphone and saw it was my Aunt. I didn't answer her cause I wasn't in the mood for my Aunt, 'nagging,' though my thoughts changed cause 9:00 am is pretty early to call for my Aunt, something could have happened with Dad. "Should I call her back?" Were my thoughts for a while. It's prolly about if I visited Dad already. Aunt called back after ten minutes, I grabbed the cellphone and answered her. Aunt told me that Dad was in the hospital, cause he took to many medication in the middle of the night. A ambulance took him at 4:00 am to the hospital here in my city. Though my Aunt told me that Dad was alright and that he will be prolly brought back by the hospital today. I felt relieved that Dad was alright, though I told my Aunt that I will visit him right away. The hospital isn't that far away from my house, prolly about 15 minutes. 

I putted some clothes on and took off, I didn't had breakfast and I didn't had a wash up, it was alright. The hospital was further away then I thought it was, it was pretty much of a ride. There recently are renovating the hospital area there, so I had to search first fot the main-entrance. Ofcourcer I took the wrong door first, after that I took the right door and went right away to the info-desk and told the lady who I was and that they brought my Dad  here last night, I needed a room number. Dad layed on the first floor on room number 3.1, I took the elevator and woundered around first... looking for number 3.1. All doors were closed and I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, maybe it's not even visiting time." The hospital have special visiting hours. I asked a nurse if she could help me with room number 3.1, she brought me to the room and she told me to use the doorbell. 

I pushed the doorbell and a voice told me that I had to push the door, once I was in I had to go trough another door then I saw Dad laying on his bed. He wasn't alone, he layed there with four other patients. Seeing Dad laying on his bed wasn't a pleasure, it brought back lots of memories while he was being silly and stubborn in the past. When 'Mom' passed away Dad was almost un-handable, stubborn, doing things he wasn't alowed to do. Or when he just needed attention he would just fake that he was short breathed and needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible. Just to get attention from nurses and doctors, they took extra care of him, he liked that, he liked the attention. I think it brought back memories for him aswell being back here in the hospital, he had several cry moments, that wasn't much fun to see him like that. Crying made him short breathed aswell, it felt like he was feeling guilty, when he saw me. Guilty for what he did, taking the medication. 

I spoke to the nurse and asked him what has been going on with Dad, the nurse told me not that much what has happened, just that he took to many medication. Further he told me that he was pretty okay, "A psychiatrist will visit him this afternoon and after that he can return to his staying." But that was a bit of a problem the nurse told me, if it's okay with the psychiatrist Dad can go with a normal car to where he stays, if it's not okay then he will need a special taxi or again a ambulance to bring him back. That special taxi or ambulance will cost a small 1000 Euro, just because Dad isn't in emergency anymore. It reminded me of the time that I had to take Dad to a psychiatric hospital one day, no one of our Family could bring him, so we had to go with a taxi, cost: 80 Euro, one ride. It's crazy, I know.

I stayed for a small two hours at his bed, it's sure wasn't a pleasure being in a hospital, it makes you realize of how fragile people can be, and that just anything can happen to anyone. Diseases, broken bones, accidents. Dad was laying next to a young guy who fell of his bicycle last night, his face was wounded and had several scarves on his arm, ouch, though he was full of jokes. Next to that guy layed a lady who had a liver disease, not a pleasure either to hear such stories. Dad couldn't catch up with the conversations, he has hearing problems and still had the the crying moments. The nurse told me he ated this morning, and I saw on the clock it was nearly lunch time for him. After two hours I spoke for the last time with the nurse about how further now with Dad, he told me again that the psychiatrist will come in the afternoon, and then he may return home, with a car or the special taxi or ambulance. 

The nurse will aswell get contact with Dad's staying, to inform them. I said goodbye to Dad and returned home to inform my Aunt and make my breakfast, a shower is needed aswell, but that could wait.I didn't do much further the afternoon, I thought of Dad and looked most of the time on the clock. I took a nap aswell and was a lot on my laptop. Time flies being online, Thinking of Dad, made me worried a bit and I felt so now and then sad about the situation. I wondered how he could take the medicine, weren't the nurses at his staying not responsible for his medication? Cause that how it's always been, the nurses has the medication and when it's time for his medication then the nurse will give him that. It's been like that for years, always been. I can only guess what has happened and to be honest I don't have a clue. Maybe it was something innocent, but yeah, being sent to a hospital? That's serious.


I guess I will know more further in the day, prolly my Aunt will call in the evening Being online I noticed something that hitted me aswell, Saf is engaged, her new lover asked her to mary her at a karaoke gig last night. How did I notice? Well, that's pretty easy being on Facebook, mutual friends, lol. Sure it hits me, it's a natural automaticly reaction, I guess. Such is life, after our break up we both moved on in our life, both seperath ways. I thought to myself last year that a engagement always can happen with exes, though thinking 'that' it always comes as a suprise, or should I say shock? Naah, suprise. It's fine with me, I only hope that Saf doesn't ask me for money again, cause a wedding is quit expensive these days. Oh, hear me being sarcastic! I wish her the best, and I mean that. I don't have feelings anymore for her for a long time, to be honest, before the break up I knew already that this 'break up' would happen one day. The love was gone by her. 

Why did the engagement hit me then? Just like I said,a  naturual or automaticly reaction. It gave me a bit of a unfair feeling aswell, I have been engaged too with Saf. I still could have been there taking care of the kids, spending time with Saf. I feel like I have failed, failed in being a Father and Husband, yeah failed is the good answer. The 'failed' feeling hurts sometimes when I see the kids or Saf on Facebook, but much less then late's say last year. That's why this engagement hitted me aswell here and there, and specially on this day while Dad's in the hospital. It makes me fragile and then it's easy that it breaks me. Oh well, I can see it aswell as just a bump in the road, the road that I take towards my goals. I guess 'this' will make me stronger too. 

Just had a phonecall from my Aunt, Dad is back in his own room, all is well. The Ambulance brought him back home around 1:30 pm, still we don't know how he got the medication last night. And yes, he has a medice cabinet on the wall in his room, sigh! Though the medication what he has in that cabinet are innocent medications, paracetamol, bandage and more stuff like that. He takes the paracetamol whenever he feels hectic or uncalm. Every night a nurse comes to Dad to see if he's alright, just like last night. Last night he wasn't feeling well, the nurse saw and noticed it too and called the Doctor. The Doctor called a ambulance to take Dad to the hospital, I hope the nurses at Dad's place take action about the medicine at his room. He shouldn't be alowed to take medicine just like that, he was still emotional my Aunt told me. I hope Dad learned his lesson today, a hospital isn't a nice place to be. Home sweet home Dad, I love you!