A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book."
The long sleep was there but the laugh was missing, but that's okay, there will be more days with laughter. I felt so tired today, I felt I swallowed a brick aswell, heavy feelings on my chest. Normally I have these feelings after a long week with work. But today was extreme,I guess I have to blame the drama what's going on lately at Humanitas (Ricardo/Johannus) and count the working days with it, and there you go. I do my work, feel okay and get along with the 'drama', here and suddenly... 'beng,' it hits you. It's been a exhausting day, I did a few groceries and did one part of laundry, and that's it. I took two naps, the first nap was a small half hour,and the second one was one hour and a half. I felt I could sleep some more, but I didn't.
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| I bought some... |
I think it's just one of the days again, many thoughts go trough my mind. I don't know if it's a good or positive thought but if they would offer me the chance to go back to Canada, I would say, "No." I have the feeling that there is not much there for me, except giving Tasn a BIG hug! Living in Canada? I don't know, at the moment it's a 'no.' To much work and perhaps to much stress. I don't want to return to Canada just for meeting 'the Family,' but just living there, hmm, who knows. I hope I don't bump into Saf then, she might get anxcious, or upset, and I surely don't want that. Just imagine living in Barrie or Mississauga, (Mississauga would be better) I would automaticly want to visit them or you might bump into them by accident, that's not my thing.
I have been looking for houses today aswell in the city where I live now, some other residents were telling me that it's hard to find a house here. Usually you will get a flat or a appartment, I know there's not much choice with my monthly income. It makes me a little bit nervous, I always told myself that everything will be better after I have a house, well, slightly. I know aswell that I don't get a villa with a pool in the backyard, but I need to be a bit more realistic though. Otherwise you might get dissapointed after I get a house. Am I happy now? I'm okay,
I'm quit happy how the things are going, my income, usurances, work, that's all good. Now it's time for the next step.
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| ...strawberry's for my sandwisch.... but I thought I could... |
Living on my own, I have the feeling I have been living long enough at Humanitas. I'm a little bit frighten though, cause I don't know what kinda house I will get and what will be there waiting for me. But I'm sure I am ready for it, I long for a house on my own. I have the feeling that there is so much to do though, but when I think of it long enough then the half is already done. I need furniture though and other things to fill the house and other things what is needed. I achieved many things from January till now, I guess this I will achieve too. I hope I will be happy in my new house, I planned to have a happy future, that's my goal. I suffered enough.
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| ...add some slices of banana on it aswell...Yum! |
I have an appointment with Linda tomorrow at 11:00, I will talk about 'housing' with her, but I guess I have to find a house by myself according to other residents. I need to start working on myself again, recently I have the feeling that I get lazy with such things, I need to start paying attention. Get a nice house, get a proper job, have enough income, get some friends.
I'm ready!
