Friday, June 17, 2011

Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary.

"Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary."


Rainy weekend ahead of us, it's Friday eve' and almost 9:00 pm when I'm writting this post, and it's already raining. We need the rain and it's fine with me, laptop infront of me and on my right side a hot cuppa coffee. I'm all good tonight, most of the grocery for the comming week is inside my room. Tomorrow I will do the rest, it's just a little bit what I still need. I did the laundry this morning early, but the dryer was broken I noticed later. I shuffed it all in the dryer, pushed some buttons and walked away. Usually I let the dryer spin twice, but after two times spinning my clothes were still wet. I decided to take the drying-rack and putted in my room, and hang my clothing. I could have left the rack there by the dryer and hang my clothing but sometimes it's possible that some of the clothing can be stolen, insane I know, but it happens. 


So here I am writting this post with behind me the drying-rack full of clothing, it's all fine with me. It's all safe here, better to take no risk. Were getting storm this weekend the forecast pronounced, we just will see, it's very normal to take the Dutch weather forecast not that serious. For the same reason we can all sit outside in the baking sun this weekend, you never know. I didn't do much today, I helped moving some furniture from the second floor to the third floor. Were getting new residents, a family this time. A woman and her 11 year old Daughter they told me, I think I already saw the woman but not the Daughter. I'm sure I will see them these following days. People come and go here at Humanitas, and that's a good thing. I need to go someday too. 


I'm actually working on it, searching online and looking in newspapers, it's about time. Everything else is in order, only a job and a place for my own and I'm done. I will miss it a bit here though, just like the other residents shout sometimes, "I would be so happy when I'm outta here, this is all rubbish, I'm going nuts!" But somehow I'm sure they will miss things here aswell. I have people here where I get along with well, but they won't become good friends, there absolute just not my type. Thinking of it now, makes me consider if I will ever see them again when I live on my own. Who knows, right? Thinking of living on my own again makes me a little bit nerves, but I guess that's normal. It's a next step in my procces, the challenge makes me wanna go for it, but still a bit that anxious feeling. It will all come in time, I'm not scared. 

I should have an appointment last week with me (stand-in) counselor Sandra, (Paula is on vacation) but she got sick. She prolly will return next week Tuesday or Wednesday, I'm looking forward to a next appointment, cause it's been a while. I like to have everything in order, so far it's all good, only a few things I like to have settled. And I could use a little peptalk, that's always good, even when you think it's not needed. Guess who came by today... Yup, Ricardo came into my room cause he had to wait for his Father. He was quit nerves I could tell, cause he had to go to the dentist to pull a tooth. (aaww!) After 15 minutes his Father waited for him outside and Ricardo took off. Nerves! 


After an hour he came back, right away from Dad's car to my room. Ricardo couldn't speak that much and sorry but, it was quit funny how he spoke. Blame the little cotton thing in his mouth for bleeding and how he held his neck stiff, like he had a huge operation, it was so cute! He showed me the pulled tooth aswell, yikes! Sometimes I can't stand blood or things like pulled teeth, But Ricardo was proud of his tooth. He was a bit hectic and I told him to calm down, cause he just got back from the dentist. He wanted to eat dinner with me, but I had to sent him to his Dad. It's nice with him but he has to be aware that he can't be with me 24 hours a day. 


After dinner he came back for a short while, I didn't expect it cause he was mad at me cause of not eating with him. We spend time with each other and I sent him upstairs after an hour, His Dad went to the shop and just got back while we were walking to there room. Ricardo wanted again to come with me to my room, but I had to say no. Enough is just enough, I think a few hours a day is more then enough. He's so difficult when he doesn't wanna leave my room or when I don't wanna spend time with him. It makes me nerves aswell but I have to bee tough on him then, and tell him why I don't wanna spend time with him now or that he has to go to his own room now. So far it's all going fine, it's a good lesson for me aswell, learn to say no and speak up. Even when it's with a child.