Back to reality...
11:08 am
It's been quit a weekend, now it's time to get back on track. I'm still concerned about my situation, and ofcource that's normal. This week I will get results from my income, this week aswell I will get results from Humanitas. Lots of fingers crossed here this week, I will need some prayers. Tomomorrow my Birthday. (43) I Guess I won't celebrate it that huge. Today also at 3:15 the dentist appointment.
I will bring the money with me to the dentist, I still have to pay them. I wanted to pay them last Friday but they weren't there. I'm sure I will get a second bill for the treatment today, one filling and one root-canal treatment, ouch! I have no clue how to pay the second bill. I have been searching online this morning for some jobs but without succes, I even putted an add on a selling site, telling that I need a job, and asked aswell for advice and tips. First I will have lunch and then at 1:30 I will be heading off to my Dads. I haven't seen him the whole weekend.
8:05 pm.
The dentist went fine, when I got there the Dentist asked me right away, "Do you now have the money with you?" He smiled. I said, "Yes, but not for this appointment, I can only pay you the appointment from last week." He had to think a while and decide to not help me further and explained why. But, he will empty the fake filling what he putted in last week, he told me. That was needed, cause the filling had a medicine aswell.
The dentist was telling me, "When you got your money sorted out, you can call us and we will continue then." I told him that I surely will try to sort it out this week. The dentist is a very nice guy. He told me you have to come back for the next fake filling cause the filling you have now only lasts 2 weeks. I thanked him and said, "I will be back!"
Before I went to the dentist I went to my Dad, he just had a nice lunch. When I came in, the nurse came with cookies and coffee, we both took some. Dad eats to much but his weight is still okay. Dad is getting old, he wanted to take a candy out of a candy bag, and it took him almost more then 5 minutes. He has always the TV on watching the news, I looked aswell and was thinking of things. Things what made me feel down, a sad mood came over me.
I was thinking of the future, and what will happen this week. The thinking made it not easier when I looked at my Dads picture frames. He has alot of pictures still of Saf and me and the kids. Looking at the pictures made me think of them, I thought to myself, "How did it ever came so far?" I miss them still! I really had a good time there, I was loved. I longed for hugging the little ones, Ab and specially Tasn. I nearly cried and I wanted to leave.
But it was way to early for the dentist appointment. I sat a little while in the bathroom, just to be alone. I don't like these moments, it's hard to let your tears run, it sure would be a relief, if I was at home I sure would cry cause I was close to crying. It's not easy when you been a part of a loving family, and the all of a sudden alone. I guess I have to blame myself. I saw my Dad was concerned aswell, I think he now realizes what's going on with me.
He would like to help me out, but he just can't. On a certain moment he stood up and wanted to go downstairs. I asked him where he was going, and he said, "Downstairs, are you comming?" "Sure," I said. It was a bit akward that Dad so all of a sudden went downstairs. He's concerned, I can tell. When we got downstairs, he told me, "I will see you tomorrow." I said, "Alright." And off I went to the grocery store, then off to the dentist. It was cold out and I wished I brought my gloves.
It's sure is going to be a long proces...
