Monday, February 7, 2011

John Lennon - stand by me



When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won't be afraidNo I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountain should crumble to the seaI won't cry, I won't cry
No I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Oh, stand by me, stand by me, stand by me Darling, darling stand by me
Stand by me
Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Decisions...

Decisions...


Thank God it was Monday, the staff is back. And that means more people around me, and two times coffee in the morning. Today I had a appointment with Gak, now here's the thing, there are two office's of Gak's. There is one in the  city where I am now(Almelo) and there's one in Hengelo. Hengelo is a city 10 km's from Almelo.  When I called with Gak, I head the head office on the phone in Hengelo. When I went to my appointment this morning, I went to the Gak here, in my city, someone from Humanitas came with me.

She told me that it's alright to go here, cause they both can corporate with each other. But, they couldn't, when we got there, the lady there told us  that it's better to go to Gak in Hengelo. We decided to go back and wait till tomorrow, "We can do this over the phone or perhaps fax the things they need," said the woman who was with me. She told me aswell that we better can wait until tomorrow, cause tomorrow they will make a decision if you can stay here or not. I got my fingers crossed.

Tomorrow morning there will be a meeting with the staff of Humanitas, my counselor and me. They want to see what the next step will be, if I can stay I will get a 24-hours project. And in that project they help me building up my life again, most of it I will have to do myself though, like finding a job and a place to live, a own home. Humanitas helps you but just little things. I must say that so far they helped me out good, they made the needed appointments for me, where I didn't even think off. I sure couldn't do it all by myself.

After my lunch I had the plan to visit some job agencies, remember I told you about those agencies who are looking for proper jobs for you? They really can come in handy, but the woman who came with me this morning from Humanitas told me that I should wait a few days, cause tomorrow I will have that important decision. After the decision she  and I are going to settle everything out, my income, my health insurance, you name it. If! The decision is positive ofcource. Now this afternoon I could just relax and have a rest or go out, said the woman. 

Okay, alright,that's nice, right? I went out to buy a few groceries, and after that I had the craziest idea to visit my Aunt who I didn't see in more then fifteen years. You should have seen her face when she opened the door! "Oh God, Sjon?" she shouted out loud, "I thought you lived in Canada?" I told her, "that's a very long story." She's my favorite Aunt, and she's so nice. I stayed there for a few hours and told her what happened, I saw aswell a few of my Nieces while being there. It was nice to see them back, it sure did me good. One of my my Niece's isn't so well, she also had a break up with someone years ago.

She ended up in a huge depression, she isn't able to do that much anymore. My niece is on medication and visits a lot of doctors and hospitals. It's sad to see her like this, as a kid I played many times with her. It made me think of my break up with Saf aswell, thinking of a depression scares me. But I'm okay so far, and that's surprises me. The 'missing them' part is the hardest, that will stay for a while. Why did they have to be so awesome? And the kids so cute?  Why was it that I like to be their Daddy so much?

It think it's the fact that they came on the right time, I was in need and I was ready for them. No matter what they all say, I will never have regrets that I made the choice to take care of this Family and to love them. I still love them, and that feeling they can't take away from me, never!!

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.  -- Desmond Tutu~