It's quiet in the house.
Quiet without the kids but still it felt busy. Tam and her daughter woke up first, and she was making the chocolates for work. They look so nice. Today we had the crazy idea to clean up the garage, Dako, Tam and me. In less in a hour we were done with cleaning and stacking the stuff. Finally the car fitted in the garage, but we still had to get rid of lots of stuff, it's all stuff from the last owner who lived in this house. While we were working in the garage, Tam corrected me with a few things, I don't like that, cause she's always annoying right, LOL! She means it good but it makes me feel dumb and it's annoying!
There was definitely something in the air today, something bad I think, moods came over me and I thought they were making a fool of me. For example I was asking Saf where the phone was, "Are you asking me"? Saf responded with a annoying tone, "No, I'm asking the chair" I said! Everyone laughed softly. why was Saf like that? She never response like that. So aswell in the garage while we were cleaning, Tam commented a few times on my work. (what I don't like) For example, if I would put a box on that side, then she would say, "it's better to put that box in that side, cause, blah, blah," etc, etc. I know she meant it with the best intentions but, aargghh, you know.
Later on Dako brought the matres and the boxspring upstairs for the single-bed in my computer room, the room where I sleep now. I knew that Saf and I talked about the bed, but I still felt embarrassed and disappointed. I went to Saf and asked her "What are we gonna do about the bed, cause Tam told me the bed frame is broken" Saf responded "What can I do about that? Then you ask Tam or someone else to fix that." I went mad and responded with a loud voice "I'm not gonna sleep without a bed-frame, why don't you just throw me on the street then." I was mad.
I had a little burst out again, and I was acting silly. The garage incidents with Tam and the way Saf was acting this morning didn't make me happy, I felt like a loser, and I knew it would end up in a bad day. "I can't do things right here, being in this crowded house is not good for me at the moment", I thought. I just can't find the right words for it. I realized today if I stay longer it will get worse and worse, I need to go home after New Years and I'm actually looking forward to it. Sigh! But I knew aswell that I will have it hard without them.
Things were getting on my nerves, I like that Dako is here now, we walk together alot, this evening we walked to BMO and to Tim Hortons. I bought him a hot chocolate, it was nice with him. We talked about everything and just nothing.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
A day as usual...
A day as usual...
In the middle of the night I heard the micro-wave going on, I thought for few seconds "Who could that be'? Then I knew it was Saf. She probably decided to come back from Mississauga and not stay the night with her friend. I turned around in my bed and fell asleep again. I was so tired!
9:30 am I woke up and got up. The last few days are going okay, everyone is doing there thing and so was I. Safa woke up later and I was curious how her 'karaoke' evening was. She was in a good mood so, I asked her how her evening was, "It was nice and fun" she said. Sigh! I miss Mississauga's karaoke. Later today Safa wanted a talk with me about a thing she mentioned earlier. It was about a single bed for me, cause she wants to have her private space too now. (I still slept in 'our' bed) I have in this house where we live a so called 'computer room', it's a small room where I have my computer and music equipment. It's tiny but a single bed would fit in it.
I was a bit disappointed but it's understandable for her to have her privacy aswell, Saf wants to do some big changes in the house. I felt embarrassed cause the kids might think, "Why is Daddy sleeping here?" Saf answered "When they will ask that or mention something, I will talk to them". Why is it so hard again? cause I was just getting used to the situation. Sigh! The day went on and the two Mom's were cleaning 'big' time. Whenever that is going on I would like to help out, but usually I always walk in the way, and it's never good if I do something at that cleaning moment, lol! I did some dishes and one load of laundry.
The evening came and I had a bit of a misunderstanding, My plan was to go to Tim Hortons with Dako, but Dako had planned that he wanted to go with Tam aswell, (what I didn't know of) cause Tam works at Tim Hortons and she had something to bring there. So, I asked Dako "what time you wanna go". "Let me first charge up the Ipod and then we go" he answered. Tam responded "I need to go too, but someone needs to watch my three year old daughter". I told her "Why don't Dakota and I go first and we will be back shortly and then you go" (cause I already had planned to go with Dako, but, uhm, but Dako planned aswell with Tam, what I didn't know off) Tam didn't respond, and Dako was done with charging his Ipod, I went upstairs to get ready.
When I came downstairs Tam went to her room, and Dako told me "Here's the plan, Tam and I go to Tim Hortons and you watch her daughter for a bit, when we come back we will go to BMO, cause I need to go there". I said "Okay". But I actually didn't want that, I'm not responsible for her daughter, and I didn't wanna walk all over to BMO (it's a 40 min. walk) I was upset but didn't say a word. When they came back Dako asked me "Are you ready? let's go". I said, "I'm tired, let's go tomorrow" I wasn't in the mood. I never knew about Dako and Tammy's plan to go to Tim Hortons. Sigh! Later on I heard 'it' from Saf. Why didn't they just tell me? I wouldn't be upset then. Sigh!