It's been five day's that my Dad passed away, the last two days are going so slow. There's still that pain on my chest, and it seems it's getting worse. Feeling little stabs, it feels my heart is in a knot. I'm kinda worried about it, I'm guessing it's the nerves before tomorrow's funeral. I don't even have to be nerves I think, everything is settled. Though I think it's normal aswell to have nerves, funerals are important, and probably it will help me to say goodbye to my Dad, and hello to my own life that has been set aside for the last five days. I really hope it.
Though I'm concerned, I feel I can't do this alone. Yes, I have a few friends where I can talk to, and there's work where I can release my thoughts and get distraction. But I could need some professional help aswell, right? So, today I went to social services and asked for a counselor. I figured, "Why not?" It can probably help me and make me feel better the following weeks or months, though.... The counseling didn't go trough. The lady who helped me told me that it's way to early to start with counseling, my Dad just passed away five days ago.
The lady told me that a mourning process could atleast last for two years, or maybe even longer. I agreed with her, I should not rush things. It's just that I like some help to get me started with this 'proces,' I feel I can't do it alone. The lady signed me in and told me that I will get a call within five weeks, "It's better, it's to early to start with counseling now," she told me. Okay, alright, I think that's fine, perfect perhaps. Ofcource it's to early to start counseling now, the lady told me aswell that it's better for now to NOT start with many things at the same time. I told her about a mind fullness-cursus where I wanted to start with and aswell a counselor.
So my plan is, I will take all the time I need for my mourning. I will see how I feel or how I'm doing within five weeks, then at the same time social services will call me, and will ask me if I still need help or not. Perfect! In the meanwhile I will take good care of myself and do what what I feel is best. If I really feel bad or my health goes backwards I can always contact my Doctor, yeah, I will get trough this. It's to early to worry about what comes the following weeks or months. I will just see. Tomorrow is Dad's funeral, that might be that I'm not feeling badder today, it's the nerves.
Found a few other tips:
Do's:
-Accept that loss and grief are a part of life.
-Try to stay as healthy as possible. Nobody feels or gets better if you neglect your health, not even yourself.
-Seek support from others at times when you need it.
-Take the grieving process as it comes.
Don'ts
-Don't let others tell you how to grieve.
-Don't close all the positive things in life.
-Don't sit and wait for the moment that the grieving process is over and wonder how long it will last. You wil notice when it's over.
