Preparing for work...
I'm a tiny bit nerves but the excitement overwhelms, I'm ready for it. I see it as a next step in my life, and it's not a job like I used to had in the past. It's not a job that they sent you away again when the work is over and out, or that they find you way to expensive. This is a job where they look for a proper job for you instead of only working there, and that makes me happy. There's not much to do today, it's always like this in the weekends. You rest and you cook a bit and sometimes your on the computer. Or just laying on the bed thinking...
Thoughts...
I'm looking outside and I see the rain, I'm happy with the huge windows otherwise I feel so locked up in this little room. Although everything is going okay with my movement, though I'm feeling sometimes alone aswell, being alone makes me think of the past. Before I met Saf and her Family I was alone too. I was okay with that on a certain level, I just didn't know else. I did my daily things and that was it. Ofcource I went out sometimes, but mostly by myself. I was my own boss and could go and stay whenever I wanted. But then again, I had then my lonely moments too. Being alone isn't fun and certainly not at this moment, people can say "Go out, meet people." But that's a easy saying, and it ain't that easy. I don't feel like meeting 'new' people, not now. Maybe when I feel better, when I feel it's the right time, cause I'm not ready yet.
The people who I want around me now, or who I would like to see again is Saf and her kids, specially the kids. I still miss them, specially Tasn! That's a normal feeling. Sometimes when I lay down on the bed I think of them, thinking of how they are doing or what they are doing. Are the two little ones still jumping on the couch or picking up the cats? How is Tasn and Mar doing at school? And let's not forget Noor, she's in a new school, how shall she be doing? Is Saf doing fine with work? And is Tasn sleeping well now she sleeps alone in her own new room? I'm not worried about it, I'm just concerned, I think it's a normal reaction when you spend time with them.
Sometimes I have these thinking moments, I hope I can visit them again in the near future.
Wouldn't that be great? Seeing Tasn, all grown up, or Ab when he's already going to school. But first I want to move on, and settle my 'new' life again. I will be happy when I have a house for my self. Decorating it and fixing it, it will sure make me excited. Actually I could see it as going up a stairs, everytime a step higher building up my life. I'm not even half way yet, but as soon I get a new house, I will pass the half of the stairs. And then continue, and when I reach the end of the stairs, I will plant my 'I'm 100% happy' flag!
The day is almost coming to an end, I'm glad it does. I wasn't feeling so well today, just a bit down and thinking. I just had a little dinner, and checked my clothes for what to wear for tomorrows work. It's all set and done, I'm ready! A few guys from Humanitas are working there aswell and they asked me to be on time tomorrow morning, they want to go together with me. I told them to not worry, and that I will be on time, as always. Alright time for my evening coffee and a biscuit, see you tomorrow!
