Dave Gahan-Hold on(acoustic performance)

You keep sending me all these things
I'm learnin' how to smile
You keep sending me all these things
I think I'll stay a while

Tried to talk to you in my dream
You looked at me and smiled
Your smile said to me
I'll have to wait a while, I have to wait a while

Hold on, you opened my eyes today
Hold on another surprise

You keep giving me all these things
I see them in your smile
You keep giving me all these things
I think I'll stay a while, I guess I'll stay a while

Hold on, you opened my eyes today
Hold on another surprise

Hold on, hold on, you opened my eyes
Hold on another surprise

Hold on, you opened my eyes today
Hold on another surprise

Good day Sunshine...

Good day Sunshine... 

I'm in need of some positive boosts, and once I have them I got to keep that boost! Positive talk or positive messages, is what I use. Something that wakes me up and gets me going. Yesterday I was getting a nice message from someone and it woke me up. I know I'm moving on, sometimes it goes automatically, but sometimes I just need that (firm) kick in da butt.

Ofcource it's still there the 'missing them' part, but I can't keep going on missing them. I need to stop being a 'sad man,' stop whining, show them what I got. I think I'm ready! I'm sure that Saf and the kids rather see a happy me, then a sad me. They will feel more happier and comfier when they know I have landed on my own two feet, and can move on with my life. We are both moving on, although I'm going just a bit slower.

This morning it was cleaning time again, (chores) and I really went for it. I swiped and whipped the kitchen/dinning room floor, and swiped 4 stairs plus the downstairs floor. I was tired afterwards but satisfied,  it looked much cleaner then before. Should I be ashamed that I like to clean? It seems no one likes to clean here, LOL! It's a gorgeous day with lots of sunshine, but there's a streaming cold wind outside. I went out once to buy some grocery, and I think I'm done for the whole week with shopping for food.

The 40 Euro what I weekly from Humanitas get is just enough, I should stop buying these extra treats, LOL! Though I always look what is on sale and what is cheaper. Cheap is sometimes good but not always. I know now what stores I have to go for groceries, and they are all walking distance.

Today I had a meeting with Paula my project leader from Humanitas, she told me that everything is going as planned. I told her,"But why does it feel to me, that it's much more then I expected?" She answered, "Cause your not used to this situation, you never been in this." She told me that, it's just a little thing for her, "I have seen much worse," she said. Me and Paula meet once a week, to see how it's going and how far we are, and what still has to be done.

Tomorrow I will have a meeting with Social Services for the extra needed money, I'm still under minimum wage. Social Services will take care of that, otherwise they wouldn't have invite me. My health insurance is all settled aswell, I have delivered my payed debts from the dentist and for my medication, and in three or four weeks I will get 75% of the being payed money back. I signed in today at a housing corporation in Almelo, the city where I am now, they will find a house for me, that might take a while but it's a start.

I want to sign in at more corporation's, to get more chances to live somewhere in the neighborhood. I don't want to go back to my old village 'Nijverdal,' I want to start with a fresh, new life, and not the same ol' same ol' again. It feel like I'm on a mission! Thursday I will have a look at my first new job, Paula is coming with me, she told me. This 'job' it isn't a pay job, but just a kind of a job-project to see what your able of, or just a day-filling, it's all new for me. I'm 80% excited and 20 % nerves.

Meaning I'm ready, I have calmed down, and had my rest. Everything is going well, although it always takes time. For example you can't ask for an income or a house and then get it right away, such things takes time. I can sit and wait for things, but I can aswell do something use full, I'm going to work. it's only for three days in the week, when you succeed there and your having a good time, they will look further for you for another job. That's why they call it aswell a project.

Things are going well, but still I'm taking it slow. Today I was thinking at houses, "How am I going to pay for it, or how wil it be, living on my own again and where?"  All these thoughts are not necessary right now, first I need to get my income in order, pay my debts and get my extra money. And then I can slowly start to think of houses. I need to live day by day and not think of the future, the future will come by itself.

Now if you will excuse me.... I hear my laundry is done. See you tomorrow!