"Raindrop keep falling on my head....."

"Raindrop keep falling on my head....."

So much rain has fallen these two days, last night a rainstorm kept me awake. The wind blew against the windows pretty hard, and the rain kept falling and falling. For a moment I thought the windows would break from the hard wind, but it didn't. This Wednesday was nice, I enjoy my privacy so now and then. I'm planning to clean the house this week, today I started of in the kitchen. While laying the laminate last weekend the kitchen went pretty dusty from all the sawing and hammering. It's clean now, feels good. It really was a nice day for cleaning, all the rain that felt today, ugh, I rather stayed inside. But I had to go out today a few times,I tried to avoid the rain. Mission hardly acomplished.

I had to go to the cityhall to change my adress, I went from the  Ada street number 6 (Humanitas) to the Diepenbrock street number 25 (my new house.) Funny fact was that the woman behind the desk had a formaliar face. Not that weird though cause it was my niece who I haven't seen in so many years! What a suprise! We didn't had time for a nice chat ofcource, cause she had to do her work. I think we both were a bit too suprised. Maybe I had to ask her for a cuppa coffee when I think of it now,  ah, maybe another time. Her Mother was the sister of my Mother, My mother was part of a huge Family, just like my Dad. You don't see those large families anymore it's almost becoming rare. The adress changing was easy and I continued my bike ride to a few stores, cause I was despered to buy a little present for Paula. 

She will meet me in the late morning for a last conversation or perhaps help, it will be the last time we will meet each other. So for me it's normal to give her a gift, she did so many things for me. After visting two stores I decided to go to the Hema, (It's a store like uhm, Wallmart but then much smaller) I was looking for baby toys or baby clothing, cause Paula is two months pregnant, she will deliver the baby in January, that's far away I know. I thought it would be nice to give her something for the baby, pretty hard to find something though for a baby. What to choose? I bought a small reading book for babies, five small teddybears and a small bag with candy for herself, nice.

When I got home I continued my cleaning, it was almost 11:30 when I stopped, Paula and my Aunt and Uncle could come anytime. Yep, my Aunt and Uncle decided to come too today, they had some free stuff for me.First came Paula and she brought two girls with her, their two new staff members from Humanitas learning the job. I was suprised though cause I thought it would be Paula only, I still had a few questions for her. Five minutes later my Aunt and Uncle came with the stuff they had for me, My Nephew was there too, a Son of my Aunt and Uncle. Full house! Paula had mail for me and some papers I had to sign, but first I went downstairs with my Aunt and Uncle to pick up the stuff out of My Uncle's car. Paula and the two other girls didn't mind. 


"It's alright, we will eat a bit our lunch first," said Paula. The free stuff I got given was nice, they were a coat rack, a hoover and two lamps. Always usefull. After getting the stuff I showed my Aunt, Uncle and Nephew around in the house, I knew they couldn't stay long and I appoligized for being to busy at this moment, they understood and they went home after ten minutes. There always welcome, and I'm sure they will come back. It was nice being with Paula and the two other girls, Paula asked me if I did all the adress changing. I told her I almost did, I still need to do a few. Those are the healt insurance, my doctor and dentist. Very important was aswell the changing from my bank account and the account from Humanitas.


I had two bank accounts when I lived at Humanitas, one from ING and one from Humanitas them self. Most of my montly income went to Humanitas there account, so I will need to change that. Cause I really could need my montly income on my account, it's handy to pay my usurances, rent, etc, etc. It was time to say goodbye to Paula, I overhanded her the 'baby' present and she was very happy with it. "So many teddybears," she shouted. I have to do my 'paperwork' alone now, just like three years ago. Paula helped me with many things back at Humanitas, but now I have to do it alone,  I'm not worried. Give me a couple of months and I'm used to it again. I just need to know what I can spend in the week or month, perhaps a list with my montly payings or income would come in handy. 


I shook Paula's hand and rubbed a bit her back, she smiled and wished me good luck, "You can always drop by for a cuppa coffee at Humanitas," shouted Paula, nice of her. And there she went. Paula doesn't like goodbyes, she told me. I cleaned up further the kitchen and took afterwards a well deserved nap, I was tired. I wasn't done for today though, there was the second free dinner, Three times a week I can get a free dinner. Monday's it's free dinner at 'The Wonne' many homeless people and aswell people with less income join The Wonne for a free dinner. And then there is The Bannier,'  it's the same as The Wonne'but The Bannier is bigger. The Bannier was closed for six weeks cause of the vacation, Today they opened again for the first time. 


I told them I was starving cause I didn't had proper food in six weeks, lol. It wasn't so busy, but the food was good and free. I can't look ahead what life will bring me in the near future, and I don't wanna know too, I'm here now and I will enjoy myself. I already know that things can only get better from here, I'm not worried. I enjoy myself, cause I realized that living at Humanitas wasn't always a pleasure, and living with not much money wasn't a pleasure too. Every little extra I get now will make me happy, and that's not only money. I will be happy when I will join that club what I like, I will be happy with that dinner what I always wanted to make, I will be happy when I get that table or TV that I wanted so much, etc, etc. Things can only get better from here, I will be a happy man.

“Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone” Maya Angelou quotes

“Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone” Maya Angelou quotes

I spend my first night in the house and it went okay, not super, but okay. I slept on a matress, what was fine but the finnishing thouch will be the bed frame, that will come in time. I woke up at a normal time, just like at Humanitas I was early up. Around 5:30 I got up and made my lunch for work and then afterwards my breakfast. At Humanitas I was always sitting making breakfast and lunch, this time I had no chair so I had to stand, that was okay. It's a bit helpless in the house still a bit, but I manage. What I really notice that it's quiet and with flashes the feeling of feeling lonely. I will change that too. 

It was a nice day at work, but sometimes I had that 'different' feeling. It's different when you leave from your house to work and not from Humanitas, aswell making my lunch at home instead of making it at Humanitas. Alot of differences were there this day, aswell the comming back from work, not at Humanitas but home. Henkie waits for me though in the morning, so we can go together on our bikes to work. I pass Humanitas anyway when I go to work, so. I think the 'difference' is  pretty normal when I have been with so many people at Humanitas, 24 hours a day. Aswell my time in Canada, I had a family around me, also 24 hours a day, and we had friends who we invited many times, going out's, etc, etc. 


Although it was sometimes hectic, I absolutly loved it and I miss it. I can say that now, the time in Canada and the time at Humanitas changed my life for sure. I notice that I want people around me, do things, be busy, communicate, you name it. I was taken out of a full Family when I got back from Canada I suddenly had no one around me. Then came Humanitas with many people, that time has passed too and suddenly I'm alone... again.  I think the disliking being alone is positive, right? I have been busy at work, and when I came home I sat down and took a little rest. Flashes of 'being lonely' came passing by, that was the time I notice that I need people around me, friends, or even better a Family. Do I dislike it then being alone now in the house? 

Yes and no, yes, because I miss people around me and no, because I have plenty things to do what I like, and when I look ahead I realize that I still have to decorate my house, that's fun! I look forward to that, when I look ahead I also see that I want to work at myself, achieve my goals.  like I said 'I need people around me,' I will join a club or a sport or whatever. But I will not force myself like, I HAVE to join a club or a sport cause I'm lonely, or I HAVE to get out of the house cause I'm lonely. No, being on myself so now and then is nice too, watching a TV-program or being on the computer or cooking, yeah I want to learn to cook more meals. Gosh, I have so many ideas, I would like to travel aswell, that was one of my goals, remember? 

But first I will have to settle here, and save some money, oh yeah, I will have to take it easy a couple of months.  Tomorrow I will have to do some adress changes, telling important people that I moved, usurances people, dentist, doctor. And Paula will vist me tomorrow aswell, she will update me from last Monday, the signing off. It will be the last time I see Paula then, I sure will miss her. She did so many things for me, she was fun and kind and direct, Paula learned me things aswell, I think a  nice gift will do her good, she's pregnant, perhaps something for the baby she will like. I will have a look.

"It's ooh so quiet, ssshhh, ssshhh, it's ooh so still."

"It's ooh so quiet, ssshhh, ssshhh, it's ooh so still."

Writing a post in my house, yep, I have internet already, who would have thought that? I recived a box with the modem and cables last week when we were busy with the laminate. I putted the box in the closet and left it there, cause I had other things to do. Today after being busy with my last moving and work I decided to have a little peek in the box, just to have a look.  Not even planning to connect the modem and try to get the internet working, cause I thought it would be a hell of a job. But actually  it wasn't, after reading the manual a few times I tried to put the cables into the modem, plugged it in and tadaa! The modem worked, I could connect the laptop with a wire but I could aswell type in a code  for wireless. And that worked aswell! Me was a happy man!

I was a busy day today but everything went well, the saying goodbye and signing out off Humanitas went suprising fast. I knew the signing out would be after 9:00, so I woke up early to grab my last stuff and moved it to the house. It was pretty much though, I thought I was done but, blimey, I went three times back and forth with my bike. I was nice on time back for the coffee break at 9:15, I drank a coffee and talked with a few residents. There wasn't really a goodbye atmosphere, we just talked about how are weeekend was. In about twenty minutes later I got back to my room to get the borrowed dishes and cooking stuff, they have to be delivered back, or I can buy them. I will get aswell a 'room check' to see if everything is clean and everything is on place and not stolen.

I'm not a thief though, but some residents borrow sometimes stuff, and then forget to bring things back. I walked in the office after I delivered the basket with dishes and cooking stuff, somehow it seemed that the secetary and I were kinda lost. It looked like it wasn't going by plan, Barbara (the secetary) asked me if my room wass empty and if I got all my stuff, I told her that I only have to unpack the fridge but I would  get that later. I didn't know how long the signing off would take, so. Barbara didn't understand, so I explained it again, it was so simple though. After the signing off I will have to get in my room to get my food out of the fridge, and then I will leave. Barabara finally got it, and we went further with the signing off. My money on the 'humanitas account' will be transfered to my ING account, that will take a few days.

Barabara had a list for me with what I could buy from what I have  borrowed from Humanitas the last eight months, I bought bed sheets, and three  cooking pans just like I had planned. Not everything was for sale on the list though, it was aswell a list to check if all borrowed stuff was still there, (Eeek!) There's so much borrowing going around at Humanitas, I'm sure I will miss something from that borrowed stuff. What I miss will have to be payed, silly I know, but okay. "Everything will be taking care off, you will hear from us I'm sure," said Barabara, "I'm sure too, it's not really a goodbye," I replied. I can always drop by for a coffee. I shooked some hands with some staff members and that was it, one last time to my room to get my fridge stuff, and off I went. I got my bike and closed the gate, a bit akward feeling though, I didn't even looked back. I was busy and was planning to go to work, just like I had planned. 

It's goodbye to the building, but I'm sure I will meet some old residents again and the staff members aswell.  This city isn't that big. I went to the house for my last moving, just two bags, and then it was off to work. It was still early though, I thought the signing off would take much longer. Arrived at work it was all the same ol' same ol', the same people and the same work. I like it though, nice having work in the same city where I live, same people, it feels good. After work I went not to Humanitas but to my house, akward feeling? Yeah, just a bit. But the quitness and the feeling I could rest whenever I want feels great, I will sure miss them though, the residents, and surely the loudness and the many visits to my neighbors. That's why it nice I can see them sometimes at work or perhaps when we go out.

The first few months it will be like that I guess, but it might be that that will vanish too someday, I don't mind. While writing this post, I realize that it would be nice that I get some nice curtains and lamps as soon as possible. It's dark in here and I opened the bathroom door, putted there the light on to get some light in the livingroom. And curtains? I unfolded a sheet and hanged it in front of the window in the sleeping room. I sure need still some things, but that will come in time.

Lissie & Ellie Goulding - Everywhere I Go (Live in Brighton)

"Be well, do good work, and keep in touch."

"Be well, do good work, and keep in touch."

My last day at Humanitas today, such a weird feeling. Double feelings, on one side I will love to be on myself again, and on the otherside I will miss it here aswell. I think that's pretty normal, I have been here eight months. It feels like eight years almost, I had a great time, I made some friends, I struggled, I laughed, I lived, I been trough so many things. I totally have no regrets that I been here, I still remember my first time when I walked in this building with my huge suitcases. I was searching for my room that the staff picked out for me, room number 15, the building felt like a maze, so many hallways and doors. You have been good Humanitas, 'au revoir.' 


Most of the residents I will keep seeing at Reha, the place where I work three days in the week. So I can't really say goodbye. I will do my greetings to the staff tomorrow morning, I loved them all, Melissa, Paula, Nicole, Sandra, Barbara, Rob, Heidi, and that's all. Today was my last day, I packed my last things and cleaned my room. I tried to do my last laundry, but with twenty people in one building and one washingmachine, that doesn't work so well. Nicole (a staff member) was so nice to help me out with two huge suitcases, we throwed them in the car and drove to my house to deliver them there. It was such a relief, otherwise I would have grabbed my bike or walked wwith them. 


Such a calm day here at Humanitas, there's nothing much to do or going on. I cleaned the kitchen and livingroom in section green together with Henkie, cause it was a mess again. I wonder how it will go this week, I got plenty to do for sure, I don't have to feel bored. Lot's of cleaning and organizing, don't forget the unpacking. I love it though, nice and comfy in my own house. I hope I will get fast used to what has to be payed monthly, so I can see what I can spend and what I can't spend. That will take a few months I guess, I will have to take it easy with spending money. I'm not really worried about that. 

For now I will say, uhm, well, there's not much to say. Tomorrow I will deliver the keys and I will see how it goes from there. My room has to be clean when I'm leaving, I will pack my last things and stuff with me to the house, and then it's off to work. I hope I will get my internet working tomorrow or Tuesday, but I think it will be Wednesday. Such a pity though cause I promised myself to write everyday, tomorrow will be a very busy day, delivering the keys, work and then at 6:00 the free dinner. I don't even know when the libary closes, I have to check the closing times. Okay, I will do my best and hopefully I'll be back soon. Sigh! 

"We're almost there."

"Were almost there."

I can feel it in my bones, it was another hectic day. Today was day two of the laminate, Henkie and Harrie were tired, but they went with me. It was a day of suprises aswell, I got something new. Anyway, this morning we took our time to go to the house, around 10:00 am we took off. Before that we said goodbye to Melissa, she's a staff member and today was her last day, she's going back to school. Melissa was the one who opened the door for me when I made my first entrance to Humanitas, she guided me around aswell. She will be missed for sure. I jumped on my bike and drove 1 km and suddenly 'deng, went my bike, the chain broke off and it couldn't be fixed anymore. I tried to fix it many times but no succes, I thought, "Why now!?" I putted my bike back at Humanitas, and borrowed a bike from Harry. My mind was on buying a second hand bike today, oh yeah. The old bike was totally done anyway, I bought it back in January for only 40 Euro.

The house is filled with laminate.

Alright, first we went to the store, I needed a little waterhose for the washingmachine, cause it didn't came with it. Damn little hose costed me 13 Euro, but okay, I needed one. When we arrived at the house the sun was shinning like crazy, it was warm outside. I couldn't stay long cause around 11:30 I had to visit a seller who has a nice couch for me, beautifull red. Henkie and Harrie stayed fixing the last parts of the laminate, and I took of to to see the 'red' couch. I had to search for the adress again, oh yeah, I love searching. I asked a lady after searching more then 20 minutes, me being assertive. And yeah, I drove many times past the adress without even noticing I passed the right adress. Anyway, I was at the adress and I saw already the 'red' couch from outside, what a beauty. The sellers letted me in  and they were friendly, we talked a bit and then it was time to look at the couch properly. 

The red 2 sitter.

It was actually not needed cause I wanted it so badly, I searched to long for a couch anyway. This couch is mine! The price was still 190 Euro, and he and I were both devistasted to bring the couch today. Hallelujah, amen, happy me! The seller will bring the couch around 4:30 pm, uhmm perfect! I felt a relief, but at the same time a bit nervous, cause okay, the couch is mine but it still needed to be moved from the seller's house to my house, into my room. I hoped it will go fine. On my way back I planned to visit a few bike stores, I had 3 stores in my mind. The first store had alot of bikes, aswell second hand ones. The store had a nice bike for me but hmm, the price was a bit 'sigh' much. 160 Euro, but it was a nice bike. After five minutes  thinking I told the seller, "Sold, I take it." The store will fix the just 'sold' bike and will make it perfect ready for me, at 4:30 pm, I could pick up the bike. 

The 2 and a half sitter.

Happy man I was, but wait, 4:30 is also the time that the seller brings the couch, and I need to pick up a new bike. Oh, yeah, uhm, aah, I will see then. It's just my way of thinking when it's hectic around me, making to easy deals and just go with the flow. I went back and I saw Henkie and Harrie still fixing the laminate, they were pretty far. The sleeping room was almost done and the livingroom was done. They were exhausted cause of the warm weather, they took a break and I talked to them. After the break I helped them with the last part of the laminate, sawing and cleaning was what I did. Harrie was done, I could tell cause he's a bit older. I didn't blame him for taking it easy, he's a hard worker. At 3:00 the laminate was layed, everything was done, yay !! What a relief, but still the couch, sigh. Henkie and I had the idea to take a little break, and then back to Humanitas and then back to the house for the couch. 

A little bit kitchy

We both were thinking that it will be a huge job to get the two couches upstairs and then get them in the room, I sure hope they fitted trough the door way. Harrie told me to get to the bike store now and look if my new bike is already prepaired. So I could come afterwards to Humanitas and drive with us back to the house for the couch, perfect idea! The bike was done and it wasn't even 4:00 pm, it was Harrie's idea to leave his old (borrowed by me) bike with the store, so I could perhaps get some money for it. The store looked at the old bike and gave me 10 Euro for it, a good price for such an old bike. The 10 Euro has been taken off my bike price, perfect! It was time for the couch, I got back at Humanitas and brought back Henkie in gear, but not Harrie, cause he fell asleep, lol. That's alright, I didn't mind. So it was Henkie and me off to the house.

Arrived at the house we saw already a huge car parked in the street, and yes it was the seller with the couch. But were was the seller? We couldn't find him anywhere, perhaps already inside? Me and Henkie went inside and we saw a few red pillows at my frontdoor, but no seller. I went inside to bring the pillows in the room, they were heavy! But where was the seller? We went outside again and, there he was, he was looking for us. He mentioned it that he was to early, but I didn't mind. Time to get the two couches inside, sigh! We just started and thought, "We will see where we end." The couch was heavy and was getting heavier when we were almost upstairs, woohooh!! Heavy! Nearly out of breath we ended at the frontdoor. But the couch was to big to get in the room, we tried many times. I reminded that back in Canada we had the same problem many times, solution? Take the legs of the couch, brilliant! It fitted, pffeww, the big couch is in. We could just screw the legs back on the couch again.

Sleeping room done! 

Now the little couch, that must be easy cause it's shorter. Still heavy though, Henkie had the idea to get the couch in the elevator. We tried and it fitted just. Funny thing was that someone had to get in the elevator to push the button to get the elevator up, the couch was standing straight up and the seller helped out to sit on the arm from the couch and pushed the button, (such a small elevator) such a funny thing to see, the seller all crawled in the elevator and getting up. At the frontdoor we did the same thing, screw the short legs of the couch and shove the couch into the room. It went easy and a relief fall off off my shoulder. The laminate had been layed and the couches are in the building, and it looks so nice! I was dead tired and so was Henkie, it's been a long day. Back at Humanitas I took a shower and afterwards me and Henkie and a few other residents bought something for dinner, something easy, we decided to go for a sandwich (a'la Metro) shoarma, one was enough for me.

On our last day we drank a few beers, we deserved it!

I was still a bit out of breath to eat properly, it's been a few weeks, ugh! Now it's just a few days of planning and puzzeling, tomorrow I will pack up my room at Humanitas. Aswell I will do some laundry there, my last laundry at Humanitas. Monday morning I will deliver the keys at the office, and I will see what happens next then. If I have the time to go to work in the afternoon I will, I will see. Sunday night will be my last night at Humanitas, and then it's saying goodbye to everyone. I will prolly see a few residents again, they will visit me a few times I guess, and at work I will see some residents too. I'm happy with that, I don't like goodbyes, sspecially when it's going so fast.

"And now for something completly different."

"And now for something completly different." 

Trough all the hectic moving I thought it would be something to write something different, 92 truths. I saw it on Facebook, You can pass it on, or tag someone in it. But this ain't facebook so, uhmm, maybe we can pass it on here. Feel free to do! Here we go.

WHAT WAS MY:

1. Last beverage: Djoezz (it's a fruit drink)

2. Last phone call: Paula (My counselor)

3. Last text message: Safa, and that was in 2009 (I sure have to practize on my new phone)

4. Last song: can't remember

5. Last time you cried: A month ago

6. Dated someone twice: No

7. Been cheated on: Thank God never

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Oh yes!

9. Lost someone special: I've lost a lot of people..

10. Been depressed: Yes and no, maybe I was close.

11. Been drunk and threw up: No

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Rain..

13. bow...

14. colors...

SINCE LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Yes

17. Laughed until you cried: No

18. Met someone who changed you: Yes

19. Found out who your true friends were: Oh definitely

20. Found out someone was talking about you: There's always gossip around here... So yeah.

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list: Hahaha, yes, p.s. look at nr.8. (No, it wasn't Saf)

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: I counted them, 45 atleast.

24. Do you have any pets: No, but they will come (here kitty, come kitty)

25. Do you want to change your name: No

26. What did you do for your last birthday: Nothing, it was my first entrance at Humanitas.

27. What time did you wake up today: 6:30 am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Relaxing and trying not to fall asleep on my laptop

29. Whats something you can't wait for: To be a few month further and realizing I'm satisfied with my new house.

30. Last time you saw your mother: 11th of August 2000.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Be more assertive. 

32. What are you listening to right now: The sound of the fridge, lol

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Not much actually.

35. Most visited webpage: Besides Facebook, Blogger!

37. Nickname(s): Sonnie, Sjonshine, Sjonnieboy, Hey, John.

38. Relationship Status: Single

39. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

40. He or She: He

41. Elementary: Yes

42. High School: Nieuwland Nijverdal

43. College / University: Yes

44. Hair color: Darkblond

45. Long or short hair: Short

46. Height: 1 m 85 (I think)

47. Do you have a crush on someone: No

48. What do you like about yourself: My dry humour, funny, being handy, kind, caring, none smoking.

50. Tattoos: None

51. Right or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery: Tonsil

53. First piercing: Don't have any

54. First best friends: Can't remember his/her name

55. First sport you joined: Bmx

56. First vacation: Germany

59. Eating: Sandwisches with apple syrup

60. Drinking: A coffee later

61. I'm about to: Go to the house to get the last things done

62. Listening to: Still that fridge

63. Waiting on: 10:00 am, it's now 9:15 am

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids: Yes

65. Get Married: I might

66. Career: A husband/Father

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

69. Shorter or taller: Shorter

70. Older or Younger: Younger

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneously romantic

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Doesn't matter

73. Sensitive or loud: I want a balance, a bit of both, but not dramatic loud

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

75. Funny or Shy: Shy

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger: No

77. Drank hard liquor: Yes

80. Broke someone's heart: Good question.... I hope I didn't.

81. Had your own heart broken: Yes

82. Been arrested: No

83. Turned someone down: No

84. Cried when someone died: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: Yes, amen

87. Miracles: Always

88. Love at first sight: Yes

89. Heaven: Has to be                                                                                                              

90. Santa Clause: No.

91. The tooth fairy: No

92. Angels: Yes

Alright done, and now on to my normal post.... 

"On our knees and work."

"On our knees and work."

Another exhausting day, I could almost sleep writing this post. Today was the day of the 'laminate,' and I must say, Ikea laminate isn't the best. The laminate was thin and fragile, some layers peeled  of on the end,  but okay. Most of the laminate weas fine I guess, but if I had more money I would have bought a much more expensiver one. I'm happy though that two residents helped me out, Henkie and Harie were the best ones who I could ever wished for. Henkie is calm and knows how to lay laminate, it's the same with Harrie, only he's a hard worker and that's it. We started on a nice time in the morning, after the coffee break at Humanitas we took off. First we went to the store to buy some tools. We still needed some tools to lay the laminate. Quiet expensive though, but anyway, we needed it. 

The underfloor has been layed last night.

We started out but the laying looked easier then it was. It was quit alot work, three persons was enough aswell. Henkie and Harrie were laying the laminate and I saw the laminate when it was needed. I cleaned up aswell, and opened the packages with the laminate. I never layed laminate before so I looked aswell how they did it, it wasn't that easy though. Alot of hammering and ticking was needed to get every piece in place, but when we were half way the laying went faster. The day went fast aswell, around one 'o' clock  I brought the hard workers some food and drinks, cause they deserved it. When we were half way, we decided to go further tomorrow, we were exhausted. The living room is almost done and aswell the hallway. Tommorow we finnish it and then start and end the sleeping room.
 

The living room is almost done.

It's double feelings I have about the moving, when I'm in the new house I feel comfy and I like to be there. I like the rest and I like the being on my own. But when I'm at Humanitas I have the feeling that I will miss it too, miss the residents and even the staff, damn I will miss whole Humanitas. I have been trough alot when I think back of the last 8 months. Blimey 8 months! It feels I stepped into a new life, like I have been transformed. I'm not kidding, this is not the life I lived before I met Safa, oh no! There's a huge difference, I'm glad I went trough this all, I suffered at some points but I learned from it. But most of everything I can say I had a great time, a great time in Canada and a great time at Humanitas, and that great time will not stop but continue.

Ofcource a coffee!

"Reliefed and exhausted."

"Reliefed, and exhausted."

A bit of a exhausting day, but everything went well. I stood up very early this morning, it was 4 am and I sat at my desk surfing the net. I had this weird feeling inside of me and I felt nervous, I wasn't suprised though, cause today the planning was to get the laminate. I had to ask my Boss for a ride to Ikea, eeeek! She already confirmed though a few days ago, but still, will she have the time today?  When I arrived at work my first Boss was there, and the other Boss always comes a bit later. My first Boss asked me how I was, and I told him that I was nervous and feel overwhelmed, I explained why. "Marleen, (my second Boss) will arrive at 9:00, you can ask her then," my Boss told me. Yeah, that's easy, Mr. assertive will just do it like that, lol. I so dislike asking people to do something for me, it's hard for me.
 

When Marleen arrived I went on with my work and waited for the right time to ask her, and I waited and waited and waited. Just before our coffee break at 10:00 I (kinda) asked her, and she said, "Yes." After the coffee break we waited a while and we took off, Ikea here we come. It was already late tough, I had another appointment at 12:00, so there was a bit of a hurry. My appointment was with Paula and another staff member called Heidi, once in 3 months every resident gets a rapport about how the resident is doing. Today it was my time, with a few other residents. Marleen is a good driver I noticed, she had a big car and we were at Ikea before we knew it. It wasn't that busy so that was a good thing too. Parking the (long) car was a bit, hmm, a problem, lol. I had my shopping list what I needed and everything went well. 

The floor I bought.

I still had the measures from the laminate on a paper from when I was visiting Ikea the last time, Mark went with me then. On the shopping list stood aswell the name of the matress what I wanted, with the last visit at Ikea I did a matress test, so I was good. We weren't sure about the underfloor for the laminate, so we asked someone from a Ikea, piece of cake. After the asking it was time to get everything on a cart, 20 boxes of laminate, 3 big rolls of under floor and another 3 packages of underfloor, a matress and another thin matress, done! Funny how the matress was packed, lol Ikea packed the matress in like a carpet, they rolled it in. It was so easy to take with us. When you unpack the matress it has to lay for 24 hours, cause of the foam. 

The matress I bought.

It was time for the paying, the cart was pretty heavy to push forward with all that laminate. The price wasn't that bad, I thought it was much more, I used my new 'Ikea family card' aswell, to get a discount. When I recieved the receipt I knew something wasn't right, Marleen and I walked towards the parkinglot to pack everything in the car. I told Marleen that the cashier made a mistake, she forgot to count the second underfloor (for the laminate) That's alright," said Marleen, "That's your luck today." She was right, I was lucky. I couldn't believe that everything fitted in the car, the car was fully packed and we went back to Reha. It was 11:50 and I knew already I would be to late for the appointment. Marleen adviced me to call when we are back, that's the least I could do. It was a bit of a puzzle how I was gonna solve this day. 

This card saved me money.

The 12:00 'o' clock appointment couldn't go trough cause I was to late, and the next appointment was at 2:00 pm. A fridge will be delivered, strange time though cause the seller told me he will deliver the fridge between 2:00 and 4:00. A nice day to plan things, lol. Anyway, Marleen and I arrived back at work and we decided to leave the stuff in the car and I make a phonecall. After I told Paula that I couldn't make it, she told me that she will call back, well alright. It was a bit after 12:00 and it was lunch time at Reha, a nice time for a break. Planning and thinking made me quiet while having my lunch, My Boss told me that he will drive Marleen's car to my house at 1:30, then I will ride my bike to my house. 

After lunch I finnished what I started this morning, I worked on a wooden lounge seat. One thing I'm really glad off is that I still will be working at Reha, when I live in the my new house. It's all in the same city, here they will be looking for work for me aswell. I'm happy with that. It was 1:30 and I took off, my Boss followed in the car with a full car. It was such a lot of work getting the laminate into my place, ugh!! But we did it, well actually I did the most, cause my Boss had a weak back. (1) 20 Packages of laminate out of the car and into the hallway from the building where I live,(2)  from the hallway to the elevator, (3) in the elevator, (4) out of the elevator in the second hallway, and at last, (5) from the second hallway in my house, *faints*. I was exhausted, and was ready for a short sit down. 

Then the bell ranged, I guessed that was the fridge, and yes it was! I had to go downstairs again to help out, I saw twwo old men with a fridge. One guy looked like he was in his 60's and the older in his 70's, the older man wanted to help, but I told him that I will help out, "You can hold the door," I said. It's an old looking fridge and it sure needs a clean up, but now now, I was exhausted. I payed the two old men, and they took off, and that was actually it for this day. 'Here' for I made myself nerves, there was no need to, but it's normal. Being nerves for a moving sure goes automaticly, and don't say it's not true, lol. I went back to Humanitas for my deserved rest, I planned to go back to the house tonight with a resident, to lay the underfloor for the laminate, then that's done. 

Paula stopped me, when she saw me. She asked me how my day went and I told her how it was, I also appoligized for the chancelled appointment. Paula told me that it wasn't that important, she wrote already the rapport with another staff member, "We can look it in in our next appointment," paula told me. That was alright with me, still felt a bit pitty though that I couldn't make it. Pity for myself cause I really like the staff members here, I want to spend my last days with them, make them laugh or have a nice talk. Paula told me that when I am ready with my house, like you are able to live there, you can deliver the keys and inform the receptionist, then she will write you out and help you further with the money and other stuff, hmm! 

That was not what I actually had planned, there won't be anyone in the weekend at Humanitas, and that's not really a nice goodbye then. Just deliver the keys to a staffmember and then sign a paper and that's it? Au revoir? No, I won't do that. I know why Paula says that though, everyday more here cost me money, 28 Euro a day. I have the money for it, but I can save money when I leave earlier. But still no, I will leave Monday morning when most of the staff members are there. Sunday night will be my last night at Humanitas, am I ready? Emotionally? No, but I will be upcomming Monday, I'm sure. I will prepair myself these last comming days. One last thing I did with Henkie this evening was laying the underfloor, Henkie is a nice guy, tons of tattoo's, wears a cap most of the time but most off all, he's funny, gentle and calm. 

We were done in a hour, it went pretty easy. I never layed laminate in my life, I will learn that tomorrow. So far I have 3 people who will help me out, I hope the laying goes well, yeah I'm a bit of a perfectionist. That's why the nerves a bit for tomorrow's laying, oh well we just will see it. It was a long day, time to relax!

"Taking it easy, as far as it's possible."

"Taking it easy, as far as it's possible."

Almost just a day like yesterday, only the tempature is a bit warmer, it feels alot nicer. I still have the same plan for my moving, I'm taking it easy and do not rush things. I will buy the laminate tomorrow at Ikea, then prolly make a little start the same day, and then Friday the rest. I have people enough to help me out, only I have to ask if my Boss has the time to drive with me to Ikea. Mark is one of the guys who's gonna help me out, yesterday I was thinking about him, cause his girlfriend is not with him at Humanitas. Like I said yesterday, Mark's girlfriend (Margareth) has been throwen out of Humanitas, because of some silly reasons. Margareth is now sleeping at a friends house, and she's not feeling well about the whole sittuation. 

Mark is mad aswell, he has to move to another room, he goes from section red, to section green. This morning he asked me to help him out  with moving his stuff from his old room to his new room, ofcource I helped. I talked with him a bit, I told him that if he's not able to help me out that I'll be fine with it.  He replied that he likes to help out, "It keeps my mind of things, don't worry," well okay. Still if he's to busy with other things then I will tell him again. He had so much stuff in his room, it's almost unbelievable. I guess it will take him a few days to organize his new room, there's so much stuff, he must be  worried about Margareth too.

Prolly, this Saturday I will be moving over.

After I helped Mark I took a nap, I was exhausted. After that it was time for my lunch and then I went to my house, like I had planned today. I took some stuff with me what I didn't need anymore here, clothing, and some photoframes. I barried away the stuff I took with me when I arrived, clothing in the closet, soap and toiletpaper in the bathroom, I putted the new watercooker on his place and as last the kitchen tools in the kitchen drawers. I liked doing that, lol, it's like getting presents. There will be more buying in the next few months, and there all my little gifts to myself, lol! Second thing I did was cleaning the rest of the windows, heck! What a work!

First I scratched all the paint in the corner of the window off, and then I whiped the windows. So many windows in the house, sigh! But nice, cause then I can see so much more. I swiped the floors with a soft broom afterwards, cause the laminate will prolly come tomorrow. To be honest, I will be glad when the floor has been layed in a few days, I'm just a tiny bit worried about it. Further I wish it was next week, cause it sure is alot of a stress and nerves all the arranging and organizing. I guess I will be resting alot when I'm in my new house, if it's possible though. Cause I'm still not done, yeah most of it is done, the important stuff is all there. I can eat, sleep and wash my clothes, I hope everything works, lol.
 

And then I ask myself, how will it be without Humanitas? Or how will it be without the residents who I spent my time with almost 24 hours a day? Maybe they will visit me, do I want that? Sure they can visit me so now and then, but not 24 hours a day and not even everyday. Honestly I hope that they will vanish in the comming years. Well, some of them can stay friends, the calm ones, lol. I know a few residents who I can trust and like to hang out with, there kinda a bit my type. It's hard though, cause most of the residents helped me out many times, and then saying 'au revoir?' just like that?  Hmm, that's not really my style, but allthough I think it's better. There just not my kinda people, I'm way different then them.

Funny note last night: I was walking with Henkie (resident) to the grocery store, and I saw six or seven homeless people drinking alcohol and making loud noises. I told Henkie, "You see those homeless people? And do you know what bothers me? I know all of them by face." Henkie laughed. I said, "When I will walk up to them, they will greet me and will say hi to me, cause I know them. But I dislike them, and I feel ashamed knowing them." Henkie agreed with me, and said, "You can blame Humanitas, you stayed to long here." 

As the days go by.......

As the days go by..... 

I feel calmer as the days go by, it seems most of the things fall in place now, slowly though, bit by bit. Sure it's hectic and I try to plan as much as I can, but it seems when I have a plan it always changes cause of silly situations. Today at work Paula called me to tell me that the money has arrived, but, (there's a but again, lol) the money stood on the Humanitas bank account on not on my own. (ING) Since I have been at Humanitas I have two bank accounts, I have ING and Humanitas's account. The Humanitas account was specially to take care of my money and my montly money. In that way I wouldn't spend my money just like that, paying my guilts and saving my money for when I would left Humanitas was there goal. Anyway, the loan money has to go to my own account and that takes a day said Paula. Well alright, I'm happy the money arrived. 

Mark (who will help me) and his girlfriend confirmed with me last night, Mark told me, "When the money is there, then give me a sign and were off." Nice, of him, but (another but) something happened today. Mark and his girlfriend Margareth are living aswell at Humanitas, Margareth had two appointments last week in the office, (the usually once a week  meeting with a counselor for every resident) but she didn't go, and that's sure not a thing to do at Humanitas. Second, Margareth went out to another city for a long weekend at her friends house, but she didn't inform this at the office. Humanitas wasn't happy, and Margareth had a 'time out' for two days. Meaning she can't get in the building for two days.  Mark wasn't happy with it aswell, but still I didn't had to worry about my laminate, he told me

When Margareth came back after two days she had a meeting with a staff member from Humanitas and her counselor. The meeting was about if she could stay at Humanitas or if she had to go, in other words, homeless. Yeah Humanitas is though lately, there are more people who perhaps have to go for silly reasons. I'm so glad I have a house. After the meeting Margareth's eyes were red from crying, she has to go. And she sure wasn't happy with that, and Mark wasn't either ofcource. The silly thing is Mark can stay but Margareth has to go, seperated like Margareth said. Margareth is a really nice girl, most of the residents call her Mother Humanitas, she's always there for another, she offers help everywhere. And now she has to go. 

I felt bad for her, and hugged her a few times. I left Mark for a bit though just to have a 'his' time, to let him calm down. I won't talk or mention anything about' Ikea,' besides he told me after Margareth's news that he wasn't sure that he will come with me to Ikea and help with the laminate. I told him, "That's alright and understandable, we will see." Sure it sucks, but there were more people offering help so, I'm good. But still, sigh! One guy at work offered help with laying the laminate, and two of my Bosses at work offered me to drive with me to Ikea. The offers are nice but it's not what I had planned, slowly I'm getting used to new plan.

Tomorrow is a day off work, I was planning to buy the laminate tomorrow when the money is there. And then lay it the next day, Mark told me that If he was able to help out he will help Thursday eve.' Mark is working Tursday and so do I, but I asked a day off. I can't ask him to take a day of for me, that's to much. So my plan was to go to Ikea tomorrow and then lay the laminate Tursday eve.' If Mark isn't able to help out, I will go to Ikea prolly Thursday with my Boss from Reha, and then discuss things with Henkie (from Humanitas) and Rob (from Reah) when were going to laythe laminate. I have the time untill next Monday, it would be better If I move over Thursday or Friday though, cause everyday extra after Thursday costs me money. 


I said I took a day off from work this comming Thursday, but I will work in the morning. Cause I can't ask anyone aswell to take a day off for me at work. Working on Thursday means I can prolly ask if the Boss can drive to Ikea with me, and I can arrange a few tools aswell what will come in handy with the laying. Plus I can discuss whit Rob and Henk when they have time for me. A bit of a hectic week but I'm good and calmer. I even went this morning early to my new house before I went to work, I had a few boxes with clothing, I thought I can bring it there already, lol talking about excitment. A little note, I saw early in the morning (when I was on my way to the house) some Arabic people walking to the little mosque. That's normal though but this time there were so many. 


There were more Men then Womenwalking, a fewf men  I saw walking with there sons. Two little boys were so cute to see with there tiny grey suites with a ty. It was interesting to see, and I know now why there were so many Arabic/Islamatic people, it's the sugarfest today as we call it here. It's the end of the Ramadan, "Happy Eid"! We have tons of Turkish and Egyptians living here, I guess they like the city. Anyway, I'm happy how things are going with the moving , I can slowly take it easy a bit. I'm relaxing while I'm writting this post, I will be much more relaxed when I have it all behind me. It sure takes alot off energy out of me, But I can be proud, I did most of it all by myself.

"First (exhausted) day at work."

"First (exhausted) day at work."

What  a cold day today, specially this morning. I didn't sleep so well either, I woke up at 3:45 am and I couldn't sleep anymore. I got up and got on the laptop, I sure noticed that it's gonna be a hectic, nervous week. Today could be the day of picking up the laminate or not, it all depended if the loan money was added on my bank account or not. Although all the nerves I had today, the work I did took some of the nerves away. We even danced and sung on some old disco songs from the radio, that was fun!! It wasn't a easy start though the first day at work. But I guess that's normal after 4 weeks of vacation.

Ofcource I spoke about my new house, and ofcource some were making fun and jokes about it, I laughed about it aswell. One guy was telling me that I looked so bad all day and that I didn't do my work well, causeI was to busy in my head with the house and the laminate. It was all jokes, I was nervous about the drive to Ikea to pick up the stuff I need, and the laying of the laminate. I knew who will help me with the laying, and I knew who's gonna help me with picking up the stuff at Ikea. But still the nerves, lol, will he help me? (He is Mark) I still had doubts. Two residents from Humanitas will help out , Mark and Henki., Mark is the only one who has a driving licence and a car. They both offered me, and I kinda asked too though.

Yeah 'kinda', damn, I'm just not assertive enough to go right to a person and ask him or her right away what I want or need. I should actually learn that, or just do it, be assertive! For example I asked Mark to drive with me to Ikea, and I need his help with laying the laminate. When I ask him he has to be in a good mood, and he has to be a bit enthusiastic, otherwise I'm not daring enough to ask him. Mark and his girlfriend do alot for another without sometimess taking care of themselves, there counselor told them that they should first take care of themselves and when they have time then they might be a helping hand. Not a good timing to say that now, right? Cause I need there help. Though they overreact sometimes with helping another one out.

Back to work, like I said it was a nice day, exhausting but nice,even though the nerves. I ask my Boss a few times that I could have a peek on his computer, to check out my bankaccount if my money was there. He was fine with it, he even offered if he could help out with anything. I could get two days of for the moving and the Boss even offered to drive with me to Ikea, nice! My boss has a way bigger car then Mark, but I stay with Mark cause I asked him first and in a kinda way he offered also first. But if Mark is okay with my Boss's offer, then perhaps I will take that offer. 

The day went on and I checked my bankaccount 3 times, but nothing. Even Paula called at work to ask about the money, but I had bad news. After work I drove to Humanitas with Henki, and when we arrived Paula asked us for a coffee with her, cause she was bored. Paula found a nice watercooker for me at her house, but I told her that I already bought one yesterday, it was only 10 Euro. Nice of her to think of me though.  After my dinner I didn't do much, just sometimes checking my mail on the computer. There is still a couch waiting for me, but the seller told me there are first one other buyer perhaps, but they wanted to  have a look first. If they don't want the couch, then the couch will be mine. 

Second, a fridge is aswell waiting for me, the seller told me that he will bring it one of the following days. Were getting there, but slowly. I keep my fingers crossed for my loan, it should be there cause my loan is confirmed. Tomorrow another day with nerves perhaps, but I guess they will be a bit less, cause Mark told me after dinner that if I get the money he has to get a sign and then we will drive to Ikea. Aswell the Reah staff wants to help out, and I got enough people to help me with the laying of the laminate. Roll on week! 

"Confirmed!"

"Confirmed!" 

I didn't check my mail yesterday in the mailboxes, but there was a mail, Paula came with my mail this morning. Recently it can happen that I forget something when it's hectic with the moving, I forgot to check the mailbox yesterday, cause the whole week my mailbox was empty, and post on Saturday is rare. Anyway, the mail, the mail was from my loan and it said that my loan is confirmed! Yay!! Eeeek! I will have to check my bank account tomorrow at work if they made the money over, I will have to ask permission at my Boss to have a peek on the computer for my (online) account.  If/when the money is there, then I need to have a plan what to do next, what is wise? I think the best plan is to go right after work to Ikea and buy the laminate and perhaps the matrass. And then maybe the day after laying the laminate or Wednesday, decisions, desicisions.

It can also be that I will get the money on Tuesday, then it will be the same thing, buying the laminate after work and laying it the next day. It would have be alot easier that I didn't had to go to work but, it is like it is. Maybe Reha can come in handy aswell, cause they have tools there and I might get the chance to borrow a van or a little bus. It's gonna be a hectic week, I'm excited, tiny bit nerves ofcource and a bit un-patienced, lol. Tough I had a good sleep last night, I woke up at 8:00, where I thought it was 7:00. Sigh, I hope I won't wake up at 8:00 tomorrow morning, or else I'm gonna be late at work. I need my time in the morning, not only for the waking up but aswellfor  putting my clothes on and making lunch for work. Usually I wake up at 5:30, then I can take it easy and take my time. It's been four weeks since I worked, time to get busy again.

I had a appointment with Paula this morning at 11:00, she was nice and was proud what I all achieved so far. She had good news and bad news, the good news was that someone will guide me after I have been moved from Humanitas to the new house, and the guiding will be on the 7th from September. The bad news was that that someone won't be Paula, it will be a guy, but until the 7th of September I will still have Paula to help me out and guide me. The help from the 'guy' will be that he will help me if I need something, for example with paperwork or other important stuff. Anything what will help me to get settled again with living on my own, anything what will help me to get right on track. Nice! 

Such a rainy day today, I had a nice shower this morning, and I went out for shopping with three other residents in the afternoon. Sometimes there's a special Sunday offer here in the city, most of the stores are open then. It rained hard but we didn't mind, I bought a few things for the house, what made me happy. A water cooker for only 10 Euro's and a few other things, like clothing hangers. There was aswell a beachvolley tournement but the rain was a disaster for the game, but it was nice to watch though. I had a pleasant Sunday. 

This week will be hectic like I said, I will try to keep on writing posts everyday in my blog. That's a must, and I will. It will be different maybe when I'm out of Humanitas, cause of the internet connection. I will have to wait untill my new connection arrives at the new house, the only option will be the libeary. There they have free internet, with lots of computers. I can write my post on wordpad and send it then to my hotmail, and then later on (in the libeary) get the post of my hotmail and copy and paste it to my blog. Good option!

"Can't do much without the internet."

"Can't do much without the internet."

WOW, how internet can be so needed sometimes, it's almost scary. We had no internet the whole afternoon, just when I sent a message back to a guy who was interested at my bid to his fridge. I bidded 60 Euro on his fridge if he would bring it to my house, and he was fine with it. I wanted to send him my adress and a thank you, but then the internet went off. I couldn't reach the guy cause I forgot his phonenumber, I thought I will write that down later after I send him the message. Later on the internet came back on again, and the guy wrote me a message back, telling me that he will E-mail me in a couple of days, then he will bring the fridge.

It felt again like a day off, just like yesterday. Cause off the no internet, I couldn't do much. I counted my saved money from the last month and the rest of the money of the last week,and  it was pretty much. My thoughts were that I could buy already alot of little things what I need, but it's better to keep my money in my wallet. I decided to have a peek at some second hand stores or cheap shops in town, Some stores had some pretty good prices, but some were just expensive. Then I think twice, do I really need it? Will it come in handy? That's what I ask myself when I look at stuff. I should make a list again what I really need.

After peeking at cheap stores, I went back to Humanitas to have lunch and a nap. There was still no internet, so no use in trying that again. After my nap I took Henkie with me for grocery shopping, and I wanted to go back to that store what I saw this morning. The shop is called 'Action,' it's like the Dollarstore but then a bit bigger, they have really nice stuff for a good price. I bought a few little things what I needed or could come in handy at the house. Like a broom, a bucket and a few kitchen tools. I have a feeling it's gonna be a busy week, cause Monday starts work again, back to the wood. In the meanwhile I have to keep an eye on my loan, does it come or not?

When the loan gets on my bank account I will have to drive to Ikea, to buy the laminate and the matras. For the same reason I will get my money on Monday or Tuesday while I'm working, then will have to drive in the evening to Ikea. And perhaps laying the laminate the next day. I have a good feeling that I can arrange something with my boss, for example a few free days plus lending a electric saw, lol. Deadline is the first of September, I think it will go well. Please be with me lord, I have suffered enough the last few weeks! I'm ready for this week, let's get this thing started! Amen.

After the shopping I did my cleaning chores, the livingroom in section red. It was not really my job but okay, usually I clean in section green. But the staff had other plans with the cleaning chores. Although that, I looked forward to the cleaning, how weird am I? It was a hard job though cause I did more that was planned, I cleaned the kitchen in 'red' aswell plus the little hall. When I was done I turned the furniture a bit around, to make it look a bit nicer. I was exhausted but satisfied. I made my dinner, and had a little rest. Tomorrow another day, Sunday. I really look forward to this week, I hope everything turns out well.