Hold a true friend with both hands....
Last night after a long day, I was relaxing on the computer. And Saf came online on MSN, and wanted to chat. My heart pounded cause I always get a bit nerves when she comes online. It ended up in a huge argue, what I totally didn't expect. I said, "NO, I don't need this right now." I was scared, shaking, and afraid to loose her. Here's what happened.
You could say I was the keeper of the pictures, but not on purpose, it just happened that way. I love to take pictures and add them on Facebook to show them to other friends. Sometimes Saf came to me to ask for pictures aswell, I never refussed. Cause they were her kids and we both shared the picture moments, She had pictures herself too.
Saf needed a few pictures from Tasn, cause she had a few frames for her new bedroom. She couldn't find them on my computer. And I explained what I did to pictures. "I deleted them along time ago, cause I don't need them on my computer, and most of them are on Facebook anyway," I told her. Saf went furious, and couldn't believe I deleted them. I didn't had time to explain myself clearer. She wrote not a nice post on her Facebook. Details I won't share.
Saf was angry and dissapointed cause I deleted the pictures from the kids and me and her. "3 years, a good memory all gone!" she shouted! Here's a little story of what happened a while ago, right after our break up...
The day Saf and I broke up I got upset, I just couldn't believe what she said. "I want to end the relation," I got dissapointed and my first escape was to my room and to my computer, but I did not want to share things on internet. I had a little peek on Facebook, and saw the pictures from Saf's kids and Saf and me. I was thinking, "Well, I don't need them anymore, it's over and out." And with my sad/angry face I deleted them all. Sigh!! I felt regrets afterwards, but I couldn't do a thing to add them again, my reaction was to fast.
The pictures were gone, gone from Facebook, and I didn't have them on my computer either, cause I deleted them a while ago, long before we broke up. Cause, again, I didn't want to have so many pictures on my computer, when I clean my computer I delete sometimes pictures what I don't need anymore aswell. I thought then, "I have the pictures from Saf, me and the kids on Facebook, if I need to see them or I have to use them I will go there." But now everything is gone, I realized that, and felt deep regrets. But what can I do to get them back! I felt sad for her and wanted to make up with her big time! I need her as a friend and I need the love of her kids, I don't want to loose them! She asked me to mail her every picture I still had on my laptop, and that's what I did. I mailed tons of pictures, I copied aswell pictures from Facebook. When I saw all the pictures, I saw that we both had a great time, we have so many pictures still on Facebook. 3 kids from Saf has a Facebook account, even the cats have profiles.
While I was copying I thought, "Why doesn't she go to Tasn's profile to find some pictures there from her? Saf knew already that I deleted the pictures on Facebook on my account, but there are tons of pictures from us and the kids on the kids accounts." But still that doesn't give me the right to delete the pictures. I still remember that she got mad when I deleted the pictures on Facebook, right after our break up. We have spoke to each other then at that moment and in a way we solved it. Why do I do such things? I wish I could turn the pictures all back cause, I miss them too. Silly me!
Saf came a few times back on MSN, and she told me to stop copying pictures on Facebook. I wanted to solve the argue and I think she wanted it too. She wanted to know a few things aswell and she asked me for it. I explained the things, but it got out of hand. Saf was still mad and wasn't able to listen, I surely don't blame her! She had to get ready for work, and I know she doesn't like going to work with a angry head. I wish I had a bit more time with her. so we can solve this.It hurted me and I could not let it go.
Saf is mad and dissapointed and I understood a 100% why. I feel sorry and I would love to talk it out with her, what could/can I do? Nothing. I really hope things will turn as normal, I would do anything for that. The only thing what was left was our friendship after our break up, and that kept me going, I was happy with that. Her kids means more to me then she will ever know! I don't want to act like the sad guy and Saf the bad girl. I feel ashamed for what I did and it hurts. I can't let it go at the moment.
2 comments:
You're going to have to learn from this and let it go, Sjon. A mature person doesn't do vindictive things after a break-up and deleting the pictures is in many ways vindictive. At the very least, it is passive-agressive behavior. At the same time, there is nothing you can do about it now, except apologize and learn from it.
Take care,
Lisa
I felt deeply regrets after I did it. And I told her that and I already appoligized to her then, and again I apolligized to her last night. I can't turn it back, But I truly wish that I can turn back our friendship. It means more to me then finding a place to stay, or to find a place to get money. The things we shared in these 3 years means alot to me! I did something terrible... and I wanna fix it! Not because I want her back cause I know it's over, and we both have to move on, but the friendship is for me very important. I would like to keep that as a very important memory in my life.
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