Thursday, February 10, 2011

"The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body."

"The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body."

My left arm is still hurting, but I slept a tiny bit better. If I only could turn a bit more, cause I can only sleep on my right side. I have been doing some research online about my arm, I googled and filled in some of the sympthons I have, and all Google could find was, stress, RSI, or bursitis. Stress and bursitis can be related, it said. The muscle in my left arm just beneath the shoulder is hurting like hell, and in the night it feels stiff if/when I hold it to long in one position.

"I think a visit to the doctor wont do harm to get some answers," I thought. I would like to know what I have and what I can do with it. It's just the way I am, cause I like to be sure of things when it comes to health. So, I visited a doctor this morning. Some guys here told me there's a doctor close here. And there I went, I just walked in and asked for information and if they could help me today. The doctor's assistant wrote down some information, and asked me to come back tomorrow morning, she had to talk this trough with the doctor. Fingers crossed! Hopefully I will get some answers soon!


Some good news today, The first part of my monthly income is round. (WOOT!) Gak is going to pay me every month and they pay Humanitas aswell for my staying here, (WOOT!) I had a phonecall from Gak this afternoon. They confirmed, and I'm happy, but, but, but, I will be dancing the hokey pokey and do other crazy cartwheels when I actually see the money on my account. Never be to excited my Mom used to say. Today I will be hearing if I can stay here at Humanitas aswell, while I'm writing this I still don't know. (Eeeek)

Thinking back...

I'm really happy with this blog, although it's a lot of work writing things down, though I LOVE it! It helps me aswell, and the readers/followers get a idea where I'm going trough. They get to know me who I really am, without misunderstandings. The readers get to know about the break up between Saf and me, how difficult it was for both of us, and not only for me. This blog is about who I am and how deep I sometimes think, this blog is VERY open. And I'm surely not done with writing, oh no! I made a little change in this blog, actually two changes.

I changed the colors, cause I think I'm progressing. First it was all black and grey, dark clouds, rainy. That's how I felt in the beginning, feeling stressed, disappointed, sad. I'm still feeling stressed and sad, but less. I'm moving on slowly, with lots of good memories from Saf and her kids! I truly love them, no hatred and no regrets. They will always be a part of my life! The second change is that I made this blog open for public again, just to see how it goes. If it wont be a success I will make it private again.


At 5:00 pm there was the weekly 'free' dinner again, I went with two other guys and the food was again nice. It was the same food as yesterday but okay, I could have taken soup instead but, I liked what I had yesterday. It wasn't so busy as yesterday, yesterday we had more then twenty people, now we had only six or seven. I decided to go every week now, every Wednesday and Thursday.

Save the best for last they say.... Just before I went to the church for dinner the staff of Humanitas told me I could stay!  I can stay!!!  STAY!!! Staying for the 24-hour project! I'm so happy, now we can finally start somewhere.

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