Thursday, May 5, 2011

"A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows."

"A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows."

A nice day today, I guess the sunshine makes everything nice. I'm looking forward to the summer, it seems to start this weekend, were gonna hit the 27 degrees Saturday. It's almost insane but anyway, I'm loving it! The heat doesn't bother me that much, most residents complain that my room is so warm and hot. Again, it doesn't bother me the warmth, although I bought some screens for my window, I will put them on tomorrow, so I can open a window in the night when I'm sleeping. I don't like musquitos! Hehe!

Today at work our boss had a new order, some customers needed a sidetable for in the garden. I made one with another guy, that guy works half days, so I had the honour to finnish the sidetable. There were a few little mistakes in the table, but it didn't matter. But such thing can bother me (lol!) I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but only a bit. In the late afternoon my projectleader from Reha called me, she had a (eek!) job for (eek!) me, a paying job that is. The phonecall totally suprised and frighten me a bit, a job? "Now already," I thought. I sure wasn't ready.

It was a job in a city called 'Rijssen,' that's a city where I worked before, Almelo (the city where I live now) is almost a 45 minute drive from Rijssen with a bicycle. That's a bummer though, it's even further then Nijverdal, my ol' town. The job I had to do is to devide metal, other workers are bringing all kinds of metal inside and I have to devide the metal. Aluminium with aluminium, copper with copper, etc, etc. My project leader told me it's a good job to do and you have a nice atmospher, only the distance is surely a bummer, specially with your energy. "Think about it," she said. "I will," I told her. I just don't know.

Now I know that I have a habbit to refuse work when a tiny little thing already bothers me, and I shouldn't do that, and I don't want to anymore, otherwise I keep refusing jobs. But this 'new' job suprised me and surely didn't expect it now. My projectleader told me a month ago that she will take things very seriously and will be carefull with me, she know what I want and what I'm able off. She told me aswell that it will take sometime to get you a job, you need to get used to working first and adjust being back in Holland after your breakup. And that's what I want, I would like to adjust first and get used to working aswell, cause it's been such a long time I had a job.

I want a job! But I don't want a job that will get me fired after 2 or 3 weeks, or that my new boss will say, "Hey were out off work you can go." Just like in the past, I don't want that anymore. Now I will think about this job untill next Monday, I can ask for a meeting first to have a look around there, that's a good option. I'm not gonna say yes, but I'm also not gonna say no. We just will see next week. The disadvantages are, the distance and I didn't expected the job so fast, I'm still adjusting. The benefits are, I can use this job good to earn some money. I'm going for a meeting first and then I will decide, desicions, desicions, lol!

And now this...

Maybe I shouldn't even write this down and just let it be, but, I don't know. It bothered me so I will write it down, I might get Saf on my roof, but hey, it's my blog and my thoughts and feelings and surely no offence to Saf. Let's just give it a try.

Three weeks ago I sent Saf a mail asking how her Easter was, and I told her aswell what's going on with me. I think it was a week after Easter when she responded back, and there was a line in her mail what made me feel a bit upset and bothered me. Saf reunited with her Mom, she invited her with Easter, (Grandma) they haven't seen each other in almost 2 years. (long story, I was a part of that story too.) The reunion made me happy for her and her kids. It must have been ackward and at the same time emotional.

Saf invited aswell 'her new boyfriend,' for Easter as she wrote in the mail. That's fine with me. but I didn't have to know that and the way she wrote it bothered and me made me a bit mad. 'My new boyfriend,' maybe I take it all a  bit to heavy, I don't know. It felt that Saf wanted to make a statement, like, "I got a new boyfriend",' it sounded a bit childish aswell,  AH! I don't know, it made me upset.

First I wanted to response back, but I didn't, otherwise Saf would write back perhaps, to tell me to stop acting so overreacted, or to tell me, "Stop writting me then. Maybe I am acting overreacted. I just didn't like  the line "my new boyfriend," it sounded, AH! I don't know, never mind. I asked her aswell months ago to stop mention her new lover when she writes a mail. Anyway, on with my proces and my progressing, maybe I should speed up a little bit more. Vrrrroooooom, vrrrroooom! I'm ready! I love everyone.

Note to myself: Don't be so hard on yourself! Stop thinking, and carry on!

2 comments:

jazain said...

it is time to take a job...no need to wait at all. BUT BUT BUT, do not take a job that is too far away and too much for you to get there and back. what will happen when the weather is bad or you get up late? is there a train? can you take the job and eventually move there? is that a city where you would like to even live? many things to consider before you take this job!

sonnie100dj@hotmail.com said...

yeah, but I would like to take my time aswell and consider things properly when they offer me a job. (I just thought about that I can look for myself aswell) Like I said the distance is a bummer, it will take to much energy before even starting the job. It's not a city where I would like to live, (it's a very extreme religious city) Train could be an option though to get there, I will ask about a meeting this comming Monday.

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