A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book."

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book."

The long sleep was there but the laugh was missing, but that's okay, there will be more days with laughter. I felt so tired today, I felt I swallowed a brick aswell, heavy feelings on my chest. Normally I have these feelings after a long week with work. But today was extreme,I guess I have to blame the drama what's going on lately at Humanitas (Ricardo/Johannus) and count the working days with it, and there you go. I do my work, feel okay and get along with the 'drama', here and suddenly... 'beng,' it hits you. It's been a exhausting day, I did a few groceries and did one part of laundry, and that's it. I took two naps, the first nap was a small half hour,and the second one was one hour and a half. I felt I could sleep some more, but I didn't. 

I bought some...

I think it's just one of the days again, many thoughts go trough my mind. I don't know if it's a good or positive thought but if they would offer me the chance to go back to Canada, I would say, "No." I have the feeling that there is not much there for me, except giving Tasn a BIG hug! Living in Canada? I don't know, at the moment it's a 'no.' To much work and perhaps to much stress. I don't want to return to Canada just for meeting 'the Family,' but just living there, hmm, who knows. I hope I don't bump into Saf then, she might get anxcious, or upset, and I surely don't want that. Just imagine living in Barrie or Mississauga, (Mississauga would be better) I would automaticly want to visit them or you might bump into them by accident, that's not my thing.

I have been looking for houses today aswell in the city where I live now, some other residents were telling me that it's hard to find a house here. Usually you will get a flat or a appartment, I know there's not much choice with my monthly income. It makes me a little bit nervous, I always told myself that everything will be better after I have a house, well, slightly. I know aswell that I don't get a villa with a pool in the backyard, but I need to be a bit more realistic though. Otherwise you might get dissapointed after I get a house. Am I happy now? I'm okay, I'm quit happy how the things are going, my income, usurances, work, that's all good. Now it's time for the next step.

...strawberry's for my sandwisch.... but I thought I could...

Living on my own, I have the feeling I have been living long enough at Humanitas. I'm a little bit frighten though, cause I don't know what kinda house I will get and what will be there waiting for me. But I'm sure I am ready for it, I long for a house on my own. I have the feeling that there is so much to do though, but when I think of it long enough then the half is already done. I need furniture though and other things to fill the house and other things what is needed. I achieved many things from January till now, I guess this I will achieve too. I hope I will be happy in my new house, I planned to have a happy future, that's my goal. I suffered enough. 

...add some slices of banana on it aswell...Yum!

I have an appointment with Linda tomorrow at 11:00, I will talk about 'housing' with her, but I guess I have to find a house by myself according to other residents. I need to start working on myself again, recently I have the feeling that I get lazy with such things, I need to start paying attention. Get a nice house, get a proper job, have enough income, get some friends. 


I'm ready!