Dad's care!

Dad's care! 

I wish I could visit my Dad more often, I wish I had a car and a drivers licence. All wishes where I have nothing on at the moment. My Aunt called this evening, Dad needed five slices of raisin bread tomorrow. My Aunt or Uncle buys them for Dad every week, Aunt asked if I could get them tomorrow. Sure, I will hop on my bicycle tomorrow and drive a 15 km to get five slices of raisin bread.You know what? This bugs me in a few ways... Should I? Or should I not get the raisin bread? My decision is no, I'm not gonna do that, but that feeling of 'Maybe I should,' keeps bugging me. There has to be changes of how my Dads Family and the day care take care of my Dad.It's me who's gonna take care of that, why? Cause I would like to be the responsible person for this. 

The 'care of my Dad' what my Uncle and Aunt does now is good, it isn't that much cause most of the 'care' do the sisters and nurses in the day care where my Dad lives. My Uncle and Aunt do the little groceries, and buy aswell other stuff, for example, sheets, towels and clothing. It looks like alot of work but it isn't that much, they live close near my Dad. Though I really appreciate what they do. I'm almost ashamed off myself that I'm not able to do this, I have alot of work of myself, and I need my rest also. (ashamed feeling now) Sure I could do a little groceries for my Dad, or buy him the things what he needs, then I have to do that in the weekends. But my Dad's finance what my Uncle does now, no, I couldn't do that. That's just a bit TO much stress for me. 

My Uncle is sick at the moment, hospital visits and he looks and feels bad. I knew this time would come one of these days. My Aunt and Uncle are getting older, and there will be a time that they can't do the things for my Dad as they do now. I have been thinking about it, thinking about, "Who's gonna take care of Dad then?" The sisters and the nurses at the day care ofcource, I know. But the other care I meant. There has to be a solution, I informed one of the leading nurses trough a E-mail just an hour ago. Asking her to make a appointment for a conversation, together we will talk about a solution. Who's gonna do the groceries or the finance. I'm pretty sure we both will find a solution. I will keep doing my once in two week visits at my Dads, like I usually do. 

I probably will get a answer back tomorrow, hopefully. Work today went so so, it was almost the same like yesterday. I felt sick in the morning and felt a bit better in the afternoon, only today's morning was badder then yesterday. I really had to take it easy this morning, short breathed, dizzy and a bit of a weird stomach. I longed for tomorrow's day off. It's so weird though, I was slightly okay when I took it easy, but when I lifted something heavy  or stood in a bend over position and got up, the dizzy feeling came and I felt pressure on my chest and stomach. After my lunch I felt better, and could do my work (quit) normal. It could be my 'blood sugar,' awkward though goes no one in my Family has been sick with 'blood sugars.' 

This morning I was thinking that I really needed to see a Doctor this week, I felt so bad, I thought, "This isn't good." And now I think, 'Let's see how it goes after a day off.' If my blood sugar isn't good then it should bother me the whole day and not only in periods, right? Hmm, yeah. I will have my resting day tomorrow, let's see how I feel tomorrow. Rest is needed, cause sometimes I think I'm doing to much at work, to much my thyroid can handle. This is one of the reasons why I don't go buy five slices of raisin bread for my Dad, otherwise I would have thought about it, and in the end would do it. Lately I haven't been feeling good, I need my rest in the days off I have. No rush and no stress.