My first applicant, Jennifer!

My first applicant, Jennifer! 

Eeek! Today I started my new volunteer job: This volunteer job is a job where I will be visiting people who have little social contacts, people who would like to do something but are not able to do such. These people are mostly elderly people, but aswell people who are handicapped or such. I will visit them, they can fill in their own needs of what they would like to do, that can be anything. A walk, a bicycle ride, a chat or just a coffee, etc, etc. After a rest full morning I made myself ready for my first 'visit.' I was nervous, but aswell excited, so, all good. Jennifer is her name, she is in her fifty's and has blond hair. That's all I knew from her before this day. I visited Jennifer together with the leader of this 'volunteer visit project', she was already waiting on the pavement in front of Jennifer's apartment, yup, Jennifer lives in a flat. She's lives not even ten minutes from my house. Together we knocked on Jennifer's door and we entered her apartment, my first thought of Jennifer? 

A bit shy, not very outgoing and sorry to say, not 100%. Jennifer is sick unfortunately, she lives on medication, I haven't asked her what her sickness is yet. although she mentioned having a sick thyroid, just like me. We actually have one more thing in common, Canada! Jennifer is born in Canada, when she was three years old she moved to Holland. She went back and forth from Holland to Canada until 2003. Now her Mom and Dad live in Holland too, only her brother lives in Canada. Jennifer may seem lonely but is far from that, she visits people, has a boyfriend where she goes out with, goes out for groceries and such. Though she complains that she almost never gets visits, hmm, weird. Anyway, that's where I come in the picture. Jennifer would like to have someone who visits her, we will watch movies or have a chat or paint or play games. I offered first that we could have a walk outside when I visit or go out or have a bicycle ride, but she refused that. 

"I do already such things whit my boyfriend," She told me, okay. 'Inside the house activities' it will be then, I didn't feel that comfy at first at her place, and that didn't change. I was asking myself, "Do I really want this job? Am I really the right person for this?" That feeling went only worse when Jennifer told some about her recently adventures, she really needs her medication, otherwise it goes wrong she told me. Otherwise she will flip or goes crazy, hmm, okay. 

Jennifer told me about the time that she was throwed in a cell by four policemen, cause she flipped out. She once wanted to kill her boyfriend with a knife, she then called the police and they didn't want to take her. Once she stood on her balcony shouting to people saying she was the bride of Jesus, lol. She laughed about it while telling, but I wasn't that amused. On that moment I really thought, "Do I really want this job?" Jennifer is a nice woman, and she's good company but I just didn't know. 

She told us that she felt good, and that everything is normal again. But what if I'm alone with her and she goes crazy? I can't handle that, and that not alone, she not really the kind of person who I like to visit. No offense to Jennifer, but..... I don't know. You know, this visit I had this afternoon made me realized that I really need 'new' people in my life, people where I can go out with or people who I can visit, and important, people who are 'normal.' Again,  no offence towards Jennifer. As you all know, I have lived in a shelter (Humanitas) for more then eight months, after these eight months I got me a apartment and could start with living on my own again, yet, with some help from Humanitas. Ofcource in these eight months at Humanitas I got some 'friends.' too. If I liked it or not, they were around. Even now when I live on my own, 'they' are around. These 'friends' are around with the free dinners during the week time, three times a week.  

These 'friends' are okay, though I rather spend time with people who are a bit more social and not a-social. They are just not my kinda people, there's a world of difference between me and them. These 'friends' are okay to spend time with but just for a quick a hello or sometimes a visit.  You can't really trust them, and they do things what I despise sometimes. Some say, if you spend time to long with such people, you become like them. It's time to change my social life, I thought I would be okay with these 'volunteer visit's' but no. The visits will be okay but I need some extra beside it. Yup, normal people, lol. I can really tell the difference when I'm around my 'friends,' and see other normal people around me at the same time. Im in need of change before I feel a stranger towards 'normal' people, lol! Before I become a a-social aswell, lol. Sorry! Solution? I will continue with the visits to Jennifer, she would like that I come to visit once a month, well I can live with that. 

In the mean time I will search further. Perhaps I should join that club where I had doubts with at first , or perhaps I should walk into that building once again where they had opportunities for starting a group or a cursus. I sent a message this evening to the leader of the 'volunteer visits,' project, I told her what my thoughts were about my visit with her at Jennifer, and how I would like to continue. Well done Sjon! lol, She can help me out aswell wirth my 'search aswell, or maybe give me other opportunities.