The weekend!

The weekend! 

I'm just liking more and more the days of that I have, usually I said that I rather work then having these days off. I guess I found my certain day rhythm, or week rhythm. It's nice like this, I love my job and I love my days off. I hope the amount of work continues, we need more customers, more orders. It's crisis in Holland, mostly everyone is suffering from the less earnings here. But anyway, life continues, even when your poor or rich. Today I did half of the windows in the living room, oh the amount of windows I have. The soap water was half dark, so, I guess it was needed. Tomorrow the last part of the windows in the living room. Next week I want to be done with these windows, that's my goal. 

In the afternoon I did the first part of the groceries, some major cooking is on my list today for the weekend.  Tonight I made roti, with green beans, sausage and potatoes, some herbs were included aswell, tasted great! Tomorrow zucchini is on my list, with potatoes and herbs. My Aunt called today, it's been a while since we spoke to each other, atleast two weeks it was. She told me that Dad's grave is half done, the cross is there, the new stone with the new text will be placed next week. Ofcource I will have a look next week. Time is passing by so fast. Aunt told me aswell that I have to pay a amount of money once a year for 'grave-rights,' 

You can see it it as a certain kind of hiring, hiring the grave or the spot where, (in this case), my Mom and Dad are laying. It's the law, and it is as it is. Though it's all new to me, I never heard of it, but okay. After my Mom and Dad's grave is done the bills will come aswell, paying for the grave, the funeral, etc, etc. My Dad had a life insurance, only, I hope Dad had a 'good' life insurance. Funerals are expensive, I'm just a bit concerned about who and how much there has to be payed. Next week I will visit my Aunt, probably then I will get to hear it. How do I feel at the moment after my Dad has passed away? I'm actually calm about it, and it really surprises me. Kinda a awkwardd feeling aswell. 

I thought I would be teared apart, having a break down, lost and sad. But I'm okay and feel calm, is it a gift from above? A gift from my Dad? Who knows, I have this kinda bad feeling aswell when I write or talk about it, should I not feel sad?  Or shoud I not feel bittered now my Dad has passed away?   Ofcource I miss him and ofcource I still miss him, I still have sometimes that feeling that I have to visit him, when I think of my Dad it feels weird. Everything went so fast since Dad got sick, within two weeks he was gone. And here I am now, continuing my life, I'm calm, I'm relaxed, though sometimes thinking of him. I will never forget him, Dad will be always with me, where ever I go.