Writing, writing, writing

 Writing, writing, writing.

It's quiet a work to write these 'paris trip posts,' while being in Paris I had a little note book, and wrote all of my daily adventures down. Sometimes some passengers saw me and told me, "Are you writing everything down?" I told them, "Yes, just a little diary." Every time I had a little time over I wrote, mostly in the bus, or I just sat down somewhere on a bench outside. Once I got back in Holland I write them over in this blog. Alright, on with this day, well, not much to say actually. Resting and staying inside the house, around 4:00 pm I went for a quick groceries shopping. The store here is walking distance.

When I got back from Paris a 'friend' of mine wanted to drop by for a coffee, we planned it on a Saturday. It was Janine, I didn't ask her, she wanted to drop by for a coffee. And yeah, she cancelled it again. I lost count with Janine's changelings, and you know what? It doesn't bother me at all, the trip to Paris did me good and made me think aswell. The time before I went to Paris I was kinda addicted to have or get friends, no matter what kind it seemed. I was probably thinking, "The so called 'friends' are the only ones I have, I really have to do my best to stick with them, no matter what." 

While enjoyning my Paris trip I thought to myself, "What on earth was I thinking?" Why did I overwhelm myself with this silly addiction? If these so called 'friends' need me they will come, let them. If they wanna visit, fine, if not, fine aswell. It's not that important for me anymore. I did sometimes silly things just to hold on to those so called 'friends,' it's a relief now I feel or think that 'that' is not important anymore. It's time aswell to get some new contacts, but everything on time. Perhaps my 'Buddy wanted' contact Johan was right, 'First be happy with doing things on your own, first you need to get that feeling of that it's really okay being alone."

Busy week ahead, I had my rest hopefully, let's see how it goes at work upcoming Monday. The pain on my chest is still there, though it comes and goes. When I worry about it, it goes worse, ofcource. If the pain still bugs me then upcoming Friday I will see my Doctor. Tomorrow one more day of rest, ofcource Sunday is always my resting day. Janine canchelled yesterday's coffee visit, but wanted to call me later in the evening aswell, what she didn't do. She told me aswell that she wanted to do the coffee visit tomorrow.... yeah,yeah! Wi'll see, like I said before, if they wanna visit, fine, if not, fine aswell. Really.


Trip to Paris - Day 3. 

Day 3 already, time flies here in Paris. This is going to be a long post, I think the longest post I ever written. Soon it will be 2013! You know, being here I sometimes ask myself what day it is. It's so confusing having not my daily things or my daily rhythm, I think that makes it so confusing. Anyway, today the planning was a city tour with the bus at 12:00 noon, after that a city walk, then at 6:00 pm back to the hotel for a few hours rest, and then at 9:00 pm we will leave the hotel for celebrating New Years in the centre of the city. At 2:00 am our bus will take us back to the hotel, looooong day. What I noticed the last three days that the day activities can always change during the days, or takes longer then they usually should. I didn't feel much for the 'bus city tour,' Hmm I perhaps rather go for a walk in the centre again, I don't know, doubts! I still feel a bit of a chest pain and stomach pain, I felt a tiny bit better when I got up this morning. But after my breakfast the pain returned, I hope it's not the thyroid. 

The beautiful Arc!

Could it be nerves or stress? But why nerves or stress? I'm in Paris having a holiday, there's nothing to be stressed or nervous about. I had breakfast, had my rest afterwards, and at 11:30 I went downstairs for the start of the day. I always make my lunch while having breakfast in our hotel, it's easy and cheaper ofcource. Plus, there's enough to grab. At 12:00 we all hopped in the bus and took off, the 'bus city tour' has started. The bus will take us first to "La Defence," a huge area full of skyscrapers, monuments and shops. Our bus driver told us that you can compare La Defence with Manhattan. The bus stopped for a hour, so we could explore this lovely area. What a amazing place that was, the skyscrapers were huge, I took several pictures, I loved it! After La Defence the bus took of to the centre of Paris, while on our way we passed several sight seeings and our bus driver told stories about them. Though, I wished he would stop sometimes, so I could take pictures. But that's sometimes not to do, cause of the busy traffic here. 

Huge skyscrapers at the La Defence.

I have been thinking this morning that I would rather go for a walk in the city, but naah, I decided to stay in the bus. I didn't wanna miss La Defence either, lol. On our way we stopped a few times to let passengers out, so that they could do other things. Everyone is free to do what they want, you can be a part of the activities or you can go out by yourself. The tour ended in a huge underground parking lot in the middle of the centre of Paris, wow! This parking lot was huge, Though I think this parking lot is only for tour busses, cause that's the only vehicles I saw. Hundred busses were parked here, amazing to see. Above this parking lot there's a huge shopping mall, there we could spend several hours. At 6:30 pm our bus will pick us up at the same meeting point as yesterday, 'Cource de la Reine.' I sure knew now where that was! The shopping mall was nice and crowded, though I didn't stay long. I grabbed a coffee at Starbucks, (yay, Starbucks) I ordered a hazelnut flavoured coffee, large one. Ordering there was fun...

Starbucks, yay!!

Behind the desk are three people, one takes your order, the other one let you pay for it and the last one serves you. Funny was that in the end I had my hazelnut in a cup with my name on it, "John." LOL! I left then the mall, cause I had other plans, I still had three hours to enjoy myself. Three hours is more then enough, I was in a no-time out of the mall, the Starbucks coffee gave me a boost. Being outside felt so much better, the mall was to crowded with shopping people.As I was walking I saw several nice things, I came so close to the Eiffel Tower aswell, but didn't went there. It still was a bit to far, so the closeness to the Eiffel seemed to trick my eyes. I could feel my legs and I still had to eat aswell, time sure flies while your in Paris. And in the back of my head I thought, "I have to save some energy for tonight's New Years eve too." While I was searching for food I saw only expensive restaurants and brasseries, I walked towards our bus meeting point and searched further. I saw food stands and markets with food as I walked further. 

Oh the Eiffel was so close by this day.

I crossed the Seine and saw more food stands and markets with food, there was a long street with typical Christmas stands. This whole street was covered with Christmas decorations and lots of people. I dashed trough the crowd and it was actually quit a nice area, I saw food stands aswell. I ordered a Donner kebab at the first stand, oh fattening stuff! On my next coming trip I really, really, really want only healthy food and healthy living. This Donner kebab was filled with onions, shoarma, peppers and some french fries. I was stuffed afterwards, I didn't ordered the 'kebab' with sauce, but maybe I should have to just get it down easier. I felt cramps coming as I was walking towards our bus meeting point. Poor stomach needs a vacation too, lol. When I arrived I sat down at the park near by the meeting point, it was dark and in the back ground I still could see the Christmas market. I was nice on time, I still had thirty minutes. The bus came a bit earlier then expected and I went in and sat down, more passengers came aswell. 

The huge tourist boats, waiting for passengers.

The bus waited until 6:30 pm and took of to our hotel. I still didn't realize that much that it's the last day of the year, it's so awkward such days while your traveling between Christmas and New Year's. Again I had to ask myself what day it actually is. At the hotel we could have a rest until 9:00 pm, it was just a few minutes past 7:00 pm. Perfect! I rested and tried to sleep but I guess I was a bit excited to have a little nap, the rest was good. At 9:00 pm we took off once again to the 'centre,' this time the bus parked near the Arc de Triumph.' I thought, "That's a long walk towards the Eiffel Tower," cause that was my plan to go to, or near the Eiffel Tower. I would love to see the countdown to a new year ofcource, I already had a plan I went in the bus. I will stay with a few people of our passengers group, I already had a few people in mind. There were two things I really wanted this evening, see the countdown for the new year, and be on time back at the bus. I had already flashbacks from last New Year's fest in London. 

On our way to the Eiffel, it's almost New Year.

It sure will be crowded and you really have to be back on time at the bus. The couple I had in mind to stay with this evening were a little anxious aswell for the fest. They are a nice couple, I already talked to them several times. So all good! As we got out of the bus I couldn't find the 'couple' I had in mind, they disappeared just like that, and so fast. I thought already where they were, what happened? I searched for a bit but couldn't find them, I decided to find another few people of our passengers group, and even that was hard to find. I could aswell go on my own, and stay near the bus. Or try to. But I found a bunch of people, in the end we were with seven of us. They were, a Sister and his younger Brother and two couples, both young at age. One of the couples were having a handicap, they were both deaf and used mostly hand signals, or how you call it. This deaf couple I tried to talk to before in the bus, that went pretty well, there nice and so not used to such fest I noticed. It started to rain and we decided we all take the subway to the Eiffel Tower, it was all fine with me, "Stick with them," I thought. 

Ready for the countdown!

Hey, I'm in Paris on New Year's, I'm going to have a great time, enjoy! The Sister of the young Brother guided us trough the subway, she knew a bit of Paris and aswell of the French subways. She warned us to stick together once we were in the train, people seem to push and pull alot here. Beware of rude people, it gave me already then a bit of anxious feeling. But either way, fun being here was the main thing. Once we got out of the subway station I was glad I didn't had to walk the whole piece, I noticed aswell while walking to the 'Eiffel' that most of the crowd during this evening aren't so nice. Beggars, thief's, being rude and loud, I surely didn't trust some of these people, I was on my hood. I felt sorry for the 'deaf couple' aswell, they sure weren't use to this, I stick with them to give them a safe feeling. Once we arrived at the Eiffel we found a place where we could hide for the rain, looking at the huge crowd of people it reminded me of last year with New Year, London was crowded aswell but friendlier. That should have been my warning to stay a bit closer to our bus, just like I did last year. 

It rained, and the place was packed with people.

I must say, I never been so close to the 'Eiffel' before, it's really huge, and a beautiful construction. Our little group of seven stayed together tight, the amount of people at the 'Eiffel' was enormous! It was easy to get lost or loose a member of one of our group. And the rain didn't stop, it went on and on. I bought something to drink aswell, a hot chocolate to stay warm. Then just before 12:00 I grabbed my camera and started filming, I didn't care about the rain. It sure was a happening to be here! At 12:00 the Eiffel lighted up and the whole crowd was cheering and clapping, and that was actually it. No fireworks and no light shows. We decided to go back to the subway to get ahead of this enormous crowd, but we weren't the only one who had the same idea. 10:000 people or even more turned around and went everywhere, most of them straight to the subway. I saw even parents with their kids. The adventure began, we tried to get to the subway station and we succeeded, but don't ask how. Some people were pushing, yelling, and were violent. 

Happy New Year!!

There was even a fight just before the subway station. We managed to get to the spot where the train would stop, oh man, it was crowded with yelling people, mostly youngsters. The train came but was packed with people, so the train drove on. More trains passed us packed with people, and more people came waiting for a train. We decided to turn around and walk to the next subway station, and 'that' wasn't even easy. It was a struggle to get out of this station but we got out, pffeeww! I was getting pretty wet because of the rain, but we went on to the next subway station. Two girls from our group were wearing high heels, ugh, ofcource there feet began to hurt after a hour walking. They slowed down, and with them a few others. Me and the 'deaf' couple were walking a bit ahead, cause we thought we might get on time for the bus. But it was already late, it was 1:45 am. I was pretty sure that we wouldn't make it on time, the distance was just to far. Arrived at the next subway station we saw the same thing, a crowd of people, yelling and shouting. We had to find another option, a taxi was my idea.. 

Subway station, packed with people.

Or trying to get on time at our bus, perhaps the bus driver was waiting for us. The two girls with the high heals couldn't walk anymore, they stopped at a taxi stand and just waited for a taxi who hopefully showed up. But that wasn't easy, ofcource there were hundred of taxi's, but none stopped for us. Our group splitted up, I was with the 'deaf' couple, they still tried to be on time for the bus, I figured that I couldn't leave them on their own. The others were hiding for the rain under a taxi stand, hoping and praying for a taxi. Me and the deaf couple went to the Arc de Triumph, the place where our bus still will be, we hoped. It was already way passed 2:00 am, we even called our bus driver a few times, but he told us that he won't pick us up. Awkward and rude? Awkward yes, but not rude, I guess the bus driver has been there before. We arrived at the 'Arc,' it was 2:45, we were wet until our undies, no bus ofcource. I felt sorry for the deaf couple, they can't hear me, and they can talk yes, but not clearly. We were lost what to do, we stand in the rain waiting for taxi's, but none stopped. 

Look at that crowd!

Yes, one stopped but it took to long for the taxi driver. We had to explain where we wanted to go, but it was hard to find the adres of the hotel. The deaf girl had the adres in her purse, but was to late to hand it over to the taxi driver, he took of. Sigh! We stood in the rain for more then 90 minutes, the deaf guy wanted to walk to the hotel, but that's way to far. I started to feel lost aswell, the taxi's just didn't stop, I just had to trust on my luck that I sometimes have, but, sigh! The deaf girl came quit often to me for asking for options, the deaf guy didn't like that in the end and told her, that he was here also. I really had to do with these two people, this whole New Years night was such a huge test on their relationship. It almost looked like a romantic movie. Finally, out of no where a car stopped and the driver opened his window, "Taxi?" he yelled! We all said, "Yes!" It was just a car, no taxi, this was just a bit suspicious. I didn't trust it at first. The deaf girl tried to grab as fast as she can for the adres where we wanted to go to, the so called taxi driver was patient. 

Clothes hanging to dry.

He showed us the price we had to pay, "100 Euro!" He told us with a loud voice, "It's not 10 Euro, it's 100, you see?" He yelled. Later on he told us 150 Euro, cause he didn't know we were with the three of us. It was all fine with us, bummer for the 50 Euro each but we were lost, cold and soaking wet, and tired. As we sat in the taxi a breath of relief followed, the taxi was warm and the chairs were comfy. The taxi driver was nervous but patient aswell, though I didn't trust him the whole ride. Finally he putted the right adres in his navigation system and we took of in the way to busy traffic headed to our hotel, I hoped. I could tell the driver was a bit hyper, I was thinking the whole way that he all of a sudden could get fed up with all of it and throw us out. I was calm and quiet, being friendly and give short answers might help was my strategy. The taxi driver kept asking as a few times if I loved Paris, I answered him many times with yes. He asked me aswell where I came from, I told him Holland, then he started about Amsterdam. The deaf couple was quiet, ofcource, they can't hear. 

Ah! Bed, I missed you!!

I explained shortly to the driver that the couple in the back was deaf, he responded short with a "Ah." Finally we were getting closer to the hotel, with here and there a few miss leading roads we arrived at the hotel. What a relief, and here I was not trusting this driver, I thought the baddest things about him, he could easily pull a gun or rob us when we arrive at the hotel or somewhere else. "Your are our hero," the deaf people try to shout out, I thanked him an shook hands. We got out of the taxi and hugged each other, the deaf couple and me, we been trough this night trough thick and thin. It was already 4:30 am, and I had already a plan for tomorrow, nothing! I'm gonna do nothing tomorrow, I thought, staying inside and not do any activity. I was tired and soaked to the bone, I hanged my wet clothes to dry in the shower/bathroom and pulled a extra blanket out. Nice and warm. I slept in five minutes.

Back to work!

Back to work! 

I felt quit okay this morning when I went out of bed, was quit excited to go to work aswell. At work the fellow workers shook hands with me and said, "Happy New Year." Does me good. I had to get used to the work again though, but that didn't last long. I got excited and just did a bit to much, I felt good, so there I went. I really have to take more care of myself, cause after lunch the pressure on my chest started again. It worried me, and the worrying makes it worse. In the afternoon the pressure went of and on, I wish I knew what it was, or what I have. It can't be my thyroid, cause the blood results were good, perfect actually as the Doctor said.

Though it feels like it's my thyroid, out of breath, pressure on my chest. Just so now and then heart beating, I don't know. Can it be that I'm still tired of the trip to Paris and that I didn't take enough rest? Cause it sure was a sitting still vacation, I don't know. I will take my complete rest during the weekend, and then we will see how I feel. I was quit busy at work aswell, just did a bit to much. I need more rest, perhaps I sleep not enough during the night, some say I need seven hours of sleep. I sometimes sure don't make that. Eat healthy, hmm, yes and sometimes no. That all is a good thing to start with in this new year... I'm ready!

Trip to Paris - Day 2.

After a much better sleep then the night before I woke up at 7:00 am, I didn't get up, just layed a bit, slowly waking up. At 8:00 am it was really time to get up, it's going to be a long day for sure. I had to get used to the bed last night, first I had a thin blanket on my bed, I thought it wasn't enough. Cause at home I  have at least 2 blankets and a thin sprey. I had two beds in my room, that means I had two blankets aswell. I grabbed the second blanket and covered myself, ah, nice and warm. I woke up at 1:30 am with a pressure on my chest and sweating, the two blankets were way to much. One blanket of, and oh what a relief. One blanket will do.  At 8:30 am I went four floors down for my breakfast, breakfast was simple and plane just as my room. Just the things you need and nothing extra, there wasn't even a waitress who would stop me and asked me for my room number first. 

A look at my desk and TV in my hotel room, I didn't watch much TV though, there wasn't much on. And our schedules were busy, so sometimes we didn't even have time to watch TV.

I just could walk straight in, grab some food, sit down and eat. I wasn't that hungry though, my stomach was a bit upset. Maybe because of the many blankets I had on last night, or maybe that I held in my bathroom visit a bit to long yesterday, I don't know. The half of our passengers were already leaving for their first 'activity' today, they are going to Disneyland Paris! I didn't feel much for Disneyland, so I skipped this activity. I could choose between a historical city walk or Disneyland when I booked this excursion trip, I choosed the city walk. I can't actually wait to see the centre of Paris, with all the sight seeings. After my breakfast I grabbed quick some croissants and some fruit for today's lunch and went to my room, the waitress didn't notice I.. ermm, I stole(?) some food for lunch. After a little rest I went down again at 10:00, cause at 10:30 we will head of for the historical city walk. 

"Good morning day 2!"

Before everyone got in the bus they had to pay for the extra 'activities' during this vacation, yeah it's gonna be a full program. I payed as usual for extra activity, it's never that much extra to pay. Only the extra dinners what our bus driver took care of were chancelled, our hotel didn't do dinners, only breakfast. So, our bus driver arranged that we could have dinner some where else during the five days, but that's been chancelled too,sigh. Now I will have to look for decent, healty, cheap dinner for myself, though that shouldn't be a problem, only the language will be be a bit. "I can't speak French, I don't understand French." Alright on with the bus tour, we took of at the right time to the centre Paris. Already in the bus I saw many sightseeings, I just wanted to get out and see them closer and take pictures. That feeling became only more. 

To bad, I didn't even met this huge monument in real, I only saw it several times when I was in our bus. There's almost no way the bus could stop here.

When we stopped at Alexander Plaza some passengers got of the bus to have fun on their own, exploring the centre of Paris. Me and the rest of the passengers stayed in the bus for another activity, 'the historical city walk.' I had doubts, I was thinking, 'Shall I get out? Or should I just stay in the bus?' I too wanted to go out and explore the centre, lol. But, the bus took of again and stopped miles further, there was our guide for the historical city walk. I didn't want the tour, but either way the tour began. The guide introduced herself and told us where we go and what we all will see. Well, I didn't like it, the guide told us that we will not go where it's busy or where the sightseeings were. We will go to secret hidden treasures of Paris, old historical buildings, sigh! While we were on our way with the tour, I thought of sneaking out, and that's what I did after five minutes walking. 

The beauty of Paris!

I felt relieved, but bad aswell that I sneaked out. I knew where to walk to, the river Seine, that's where the bus stayed beside while driving. It was easy to find. I really had a great time while exploring, the whole afternoon I saw so many things, and I took many pictures. Paris is great only you have to find the right spots, though once you know the spots it's easy, everything is almost walking distance. Though it was all great, I had a worried feeling aswel, cause every passenger has to be back at 6:45 pm at a certain meeting point. It's where the bus stopped for the first time, the spot where I actually wanted to go out of the bus. I knew that spot but I wasn't that sure. Though I had a idea where it was, one thing I knew sure was that it was beside the river Seine. And that's easy to find. After 6:35 pm the bus driver will take us to a little harbor for a boat trip. The 'city light boat tour.'

The Eiffel towe, the sun went down, it was time for food.

It was 5:00 pm and I decided to have dinner, I knew already where to go. I saw a nice little brasserie/restaurant earlier somewhere in a park near the Louvre musea, I was tired and felt my legs hurting a bit. I was still a bit concerned about finding the bus's meeting point, I knew where to go but still wasn't certain. I found the brasserie/restaurant and ordered risotto with asparagus, and a little salad beside it. It looked a bit weird but it tasted okay, the service there was fast and polite. I had a coffee there too, such a small cup and the price, lol. 2, 99 Euro! After my dinner I decided to search for the bus's meeting point, the nerves began. I walked towards the river Seine, and I went to the spot where I almost certain was that the bus would pick us up there. I walked back and forth between spot where I almost certain was where the bus would meet us, while doing that I looked to the people's faces who passed me. 

I think I had my best dinner on the second day of this trip, risotto with aspergus.

They might look formaliar to our passengers, now that would be a relief. But, it was dark already, so that was not that easy. I was already thinking how to get back to the hotel without our bus, yeah I was almost lost. I just couldn't find the right meeting spot. With the subway is nothing for me, I have to switch many times then I think, that will be such a puzzle, so no! Bus? Same thing! Taxi? Yes, sure, a taxi will bring me right away to the hotel, but, for ho much money? But it would be my only solution if I miss the bus. After walking and searching for more then a hour beside the river Seine and between the 'certain' spots, I just choosed one spot and that's where I will stay, I thought. "It just has to be here." I thought, but no bus, and no formaliar faces. I was lost! I was about to give up and take a taxi! Though I had a note with all the activities for the next three days on it, I looked for the activity 'city light boat tour.' 

Many bridges over the river Seine.

I saw it and saw aswell where our meeting point is where we will leave to go to the little harbor for the 'boat tour.' I had to go to 'Cource de la Reine,' that's our meeting point, that's where I have to go. I looked around and saw right away a sign with the name 'Cource de la Reine.' Just my luck! But still no bus, and no formaliar faces. While walking back and forth for the last few hours I saw aswell a amount of busses across the street, I looked several times to the busses but never saw our bus. Then I thought, "When our bus is gonna pick us up, it might aswell that the bus driver is still on his way. The place where all those busses were was actually Cource de la Reine, our meeting point. I decided to go there and have a closer look. I thought, "I will wait for the bus there and if it doesn't show up, well, bad luck, then there's always the taxi, sigh! 

The area just aside the Louvre musea.

As I was walking and nearly arrived, I saw all of a sudden the half of our passengers, lol. I was so happy, what a relief. Some of the passengers asked what happened with me, lol. All of us waited for our bus driver, he was 30 minutes late when he showed up. Finally we took of for the 'Boat tour,' the boat was huge. I think more then 200 people could fit on this boat, the upper deck was closed, to cold I guess. Though we could still sit inside or outside, it wasn't even cold on the boat. I stood outside and tried to take pictures, but my camera felt retarded with no flash, though I tried and some pictures came out quit good. The boat tour lasted for a little 75 minutes. After the boat tour there was the 'Bus, city tour,' this time we could stay in the bus, nice and warm. This day was long, tomorrow we have New Years, that might take even longer. 

On the boat I took this picture, pretty good I think, with a camera with no flash.

The excursion trip is going okay so far, our activity program is a bit messed up now. That's not the bus driver's fault though, just circumstances. Organized dinners for the next three days aren't going trough, sometimes not being on time for activities, cause of the crazy traffic here. Even though all that, we all try to make the best of it. I'm actually not feeling that well this day, don't know what's going on. A pressure on my chest and a hurting stomach still, though it comes and goes. And the hurting mostly comes after dinner, just a bit concerned here, I should stop that. Easier said then done, lol. Time will tell, ort better time will heal hopefully.

Thanks for this resting day... (plus a post from day one 'trip to Paris.'

 Thanks for this resting day... (plus a post from day one 'trip to Paris.')

I must say, I felt good today, just one nap I needed to come trough this day. I'm ready for tomorrow's work. Today has been a un-packing day and a laundry day, though I can do only one load a day, cause of one washing rack. I had a visitor aswell, Ina dropped by for a coffee and a wishing me a good New Year, nice. Finally I had some decent food, what I actually missed in Paris. Uhm, I meant my regular food, food what I'm used to. The food in Paris wasn't bad, but I guess you have to be rich, lol. 

Tomorrow work is calling again, I'm looking forward to it. It's only one day and then the weekend starts, during the weekend I have nothing planned yet. Yeah, resting I will do for sure. I need my rest after these five filling vacation days, cause it sure wasn't a calm and take it easy vacation. I will be writing the next five days about my adventures in Paris after I wrote about my actual day. Here's the first day.... 

Day one, trip to Paris! 

After a not so well sleep, (as usual before a trip) I got up at 4:00 am and did the things I needed to do.  I got another few things ready and wake up slowly. I couldn't get my sleep last night, ofcourse there where the usual nerves before the trip to Paris, but I heard aswell several fireworks in the neighborhood. I went to bed at 10:00 pm, I think fell asleep at 0:30 am. Three hours of sleep, oh well, I'm used to it. I think I even slept more then I usually do before a trip. "I will be fine today", I thought. The few things I had to do before my leaving weren't that much, but it kept me busy. In the last minute I had to rush things, darn! Lock the doors, heating off, lights off, check everything twice, etc, etc. At 6:05 am I took off, five minutes later then planned, ,lol. I wasn't worried, I'm a fast walker. I really licked my little suitcase on wheels, so smooth it went over the pavements. 

My gift from work, a perfect little suitcase on wheels. Perfect for my trip to Paris.

I was nicely on time at the train station, here I will be picked up at 6:40 am with the bus. It was 6:15 am, nice! A few passengers were already at the station waiting for the bus, I spoke to them, and the time past fast. The bus arrived actually 10 minutes earlier, wow! It surprised me that I wasn't even nervous while waiting for the bus, but I guess the bus being on time made the nerves disappear. More passengers were coming aswell, when the bus took of it was pretty full I must say, all heading on a vacation. The double decker bus took of and I sat down stairs with a nice bunch of people, we were laughing and talking. And what'a ya know, there was a guy who sat in front of me who I met last year aswell in the same bus at the same time, wow. We both recognized each other and shook hands, he's a nice guy, and lives near by in another village. 

Meeting point Didam, all the suitcases out of the bus.

Funny enough, he just got back from Barcelona a day ago, and now he's heading to Berlin to celebrate New Year's there, crazy! The bus was on his way to the meeting point in Didam, just like always. While were on our way the bus picked up other passengers up aswell in other cities and villages. When we arrive at the meeting point we will meet six more busses, aswell packed with passengers. Each bus will get a number, and each bus will have a different location to travel to. Berlin, London, Prague and ofcource France, Paris. Arrived at our meeting point we all had a coffee and a biscuit first, the bus drivers will unload the bus, (getting every suitcase out) and stall them at the bus where they came out. After our coffee everyone grabbed their own suitcase and went to their bus, the bus what will take them to their destination. I had bus number 405, the bus to Paris. 

Our first stop in Belgium, wee wee and snack time.

This time I sat in the back up high in the bus, I have to be able to stretch my legs, long legs you know. I had a better view aswell. I sat next to a young teenage (gay) couple, one of them had even longer legs then me, lol. Friendly guys, I looked around in the bus while sitting, and I saw a mix of young people and old people. Actually this time there were just a bit more youngsters, let's see how that goes. It gave a bit of a awkward feeling, I was used to have people of my age or older during the trip. As a surprise we had to pick up even more people on our way to Paris, we went to two cities more to pick them up. After that the bus was packed, a whole double decker full with passengers. I couldn't stretch my legs anymore, but oh well. I had a German very young couple sitting next to me. Thank God for the two stops we had before Paris, my legs and bum were numb.

Half way, but we were already in France.

I really needed a wee wee. that's one of the things I don't like, sitting that long ans aswell holding my bathroom visit. It was such a long drive, it reminded me of the ride to Berlin, aswell a long, long straight road. I felt tired and sleepy, I closed my eyes many times for a little nap. After ten long hours we finally arrived Paris, Before arriving we past two borders, Belgium and France. Paris what can I say when we entered the big city, it looked a bit like last time entering Berlin. Grey buildings, factories and grafity. It gives aswell a bit of a special feeling being in another country, I don't know, it just does. The bus driver took us first to a area called Boulevard de Clichy for a snack and a look around. It was already in the evening. Boulevard de Clichy is a famous street in Paris, though this area is not that a pleasant area. Thieves and robbers are everywhere warned our bus driver.

Boulevard de Clichy, Moulin de Rouge.

"Watch out for that," he told us. Beggers are here aswell, it gave me just a bit of a un-pleasant feeling walking here, but it went all okay, I had actually fun. I took pictures and ated a huge pizza in a local brasserie. The French language is a huge barrier, I have no clue what they talk about when they talk. Aswell in the brasserie, they French waitress started to talk French and I had no clue, I talked back in English, and surprisingly he talked English with a bit of a French dialect back. We could spend at Boulevard de Clichy three hours, then we will head of to our hotel. Paris is expensive, the pizza costed me 12 Euro, though it was huge. Searching for the brasserie was not easy aswell, this area is a dangerous area, so I really looked inside this brasserie for decent people and decent waitresses, it looked good and then I went in. After the huge pizza I spent a bit more time on the boulevard. 

La pizza, look at that size!

When it started to rain I went back to the bus, it was nearly time to leave aswell. More passengers cam aswell, the rain was not that pleasant. I spoke a bit to the bus driver ans then went back to my seat again. After 15 minutes we took of to our hotel, I could tell we left this area cause on our way to our hotel I saw nicer and more decent buildings and area's. Our hotel is just 12 km's from Boulevard de Clichy, the hotel is called campinula. When we arrived I saw that the hotel was just a plane hotel, not much luxury, just the things you need, simple. The bus driver checked us in and we grabbed our suitcase, or key and went to our rooms. I had room number 405, fourth floor. I checked my room and yes, no luxery, just plane and simple, it's all good. I went to bed early, tomorrow will be a long day aswell. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's breakfast, that's always good, I'm sure. "Night!"

And off I go!

And off I go! 

Almost ready to go, I had as usual not a good sleep. I haven't got a clue long I slept but I woke up just before 4:00 am, nice time! Alright, a quick wash up, shoes and coat on and, Au revoir!

"Ready!" I think...

"Ready!"  I think... 

I packed today, and I'm amazed how fast this packing always goes. Makes me feel a bit worried aswell, lol, do I really have everything? Yes, I really do, and I'm not gonna check again, I did that already a few times. Tomorrow morning I will check once again if I have the most important stuff with me, passport, medication, wallet, travel documents, camera's and chargers. All other stuff is already saved and well packed. You know what worries me aswell? Burglars! This week I red it almost on every Dutch news site, "Be more aware of burglars during this fest season." Actually People visit other people, or go on a vacation like me. They lock the door and windows good ofcource. But when a house is dark in the evening for a few days, the burglars are getting suspicious. Or you close your windows or blinds for a few days, idem dito, the burglars get suspicious.I even thought about the few friends I have at Humanitas, they asked me just a bit to often when I was leaving for Paris. Yep, they just might.... 

But anyway, what's the solution? Leave a light on? Blinds or curtains 24 hours a day open? I have thought about leaving a light on, but for five days? I don't know, I don't wanna think while I'm gone for five days that my house might catch fire, so no! I think I will do it just like I always do, leave the blinds and curtains a bit open, and no light on. I heared from a friend that you can buy timers, these are plugs what you can plug in ans set a time when you want for example a lamp on or off. I might buy one of those in the near future, very handy. Though it still worries me these burglars, I hided  already a few expensive things away in my house, just to have that safe feeling, lol. Maybe I'm overreacting, but anyway, safety first. Either, I'm ready for the trip. I thought of everything, just everything. When I'm going I won't have to be worried about anything, even when I'm coming back, everything is ready for the rest of the week.

The nerves begin...

The nerves begin...

Tomorrow I will pack my bag and suitcase, that will be done in a no-time. Hope I don't forget anything, I would die if I would forget my passport. I think I should start making some notes with the saying, "Don't forget you passport!" I have a list though what all is coming with me, it's easier. I will be charging up my phone and camera's too. Sweaters and thick trousers is a must too, aswell as my medication, ofcource!

Today I did a few groceries, just bought the things I needed. And a few things what I can take with me on the first day of the trip, such as fruit and bread. While I got me some money for the trip to Paris I bought right away a travel insurance at my bank ING. I couldn't resist, when I was there for my money I couldn't refuse anymore to not buy a insurance. I thought, "If I don't get one, then you will see that something will happen, and then what."

The guy who helped me was friendly, (ofcource, cause I'm buying something, lol) and the insurance was done in 15 minutes. I have now a travel insurance that goes automatically until... whenever. I can't find the English word for it. For not even 50 Euro a year I will be insured for my traveling, though not for winter sport (don't like that anyway) and not for canceling a trip. (not necessary either, once I booked a trip, I'm going) I'm slowly getting nerves for Paris.

Further this day, I didn't do that much, rested and cleaned a bit up. Next year I will make a list what still needs to be done in my house. I still need some curtains in the living room, painting needs to be done aswell, the hallway is done. But the kitchen and shower still needs a lick of paint. Sometimes I'm a little lazy in that, or is it the fact that I'm working aswell a few days during the week. It sure makes time go fast, and after work I need my rest, one thing I know, 2013 is gonna be awesome!

Two more days.....

Two more days.....

...And then off to Paris, France. I don't have that excited feeling yet, but that will come. I'm sure I won't sleep the night before my trip, as usual, lol. The night before my trip I will take care that everything is packed and stands ready to take with me. I will get up at 4:00 am or just a bit later, I like waking up slowly, eating my breakfast, then a quick wash up, then grab my coat, lunch, hat, travel bag and suitcase, an off I go. I will be picked up at 6:40 am at the train station here in the city by a huge white bus. This bus is from the travel company where I booked the trip. I made a little program what still has to be done before the trip, for example, buying groceries, washing laundry and ironing. I'm trying to have my fridge empty as much as possible before my trip.

Christmas is almost over, did I enjoy myself? Hmm, it went, I had my ups and downs. Just because I was alone, ofcource, I went to my Dad and did here and there a few things, but most of the time I rested and was somewhat bored. The amount of TV Christmas commercials and TV-shows gets boring too after two days. I must say, I like the excitement before Christmas better then actually Christmas itself, lol. I'm sure I'm not the only one. People get sometimes so over excited about Christmas, but when it's actually Christmas, you don't hear them. I had a okay time, though next year I will do it different. How? Probably a Christmas trip instead of a New Year's trip.

Oh my God, today's cooking....

Oh my God, today's cooking.... 

I planned some major cooking today, the package I bought yesterday was a bit more expensiver then the other packages I usually buy. So, I thought this package was a bit more difficult to prepair, but no! I only had to look up on the internet how to cut up a mango, lol. That seemed easy but, ermm, next time I will get a riper mango, it cuts much better, lol. The mango I bought was green, almost dark green. But anyway.

The prepairing and result. 

1) First ingredients are typical 'nuts' rice, crushed almonds and the sauce. This was all inside the package, I only had to add a few items more...

2) Second ingredients, red pepper chicken breast, leek, a not so ripe mango, (I should have bought a much riper mango, but didn't know, it was my first time ever buying a mango, lesson learned!) and moyashi. (That's a japanese sprout)

3) I always cut things first before I actually cook, red pepper, leek and mango, all cut up.

4) Chicken breast cut! I added some salt and a bit juice from the mango.

5) Prepairing the sauce, after I baked the chicken breast half, I added the leek and the red pepper.

6) Then I added the sauce, oh my god the smell was so good, I couldn't bring it home what smell it was. It was kinda like a minty, liquorice, salty smell, I bet it taste the same aswell. It made me all excited, lol

7) Adding the mango and moyashi. On the package it said that I could add pineapple aswell instead of mango.

8) The rice was done, I added the crushed almonds and let it stand for a little 6 or 7 minutes.

9) Tadaaaa! Hoisin chicken rice, so easy to prepair. Tomorrow again, cause I have left overs.













Today I decided to go to my Dad aswell, instead of tomorrow. I figured I go now so I can have a whole day to myself tomorrow. Aswell I thought that Dad was expecting me, so off I went at 11:00 am. Not even cold but grey, though no rain. (yet)  Dad was glad to see me, two nurses were just serving his dinner. Red cabbage, mashed potatoes and a piece of meat. I brought my own sandwisches as usual, lol. Dad offered me his creamy pudding, I couldn't say no. Dad has much difficulties getting up, I always have a bit of awkward feelings what to do to help him, I mean I know what to do, but it feels awkward to do it. 

I'm not used to it. We weren't so "touchy" in our Family, If you know what I mean, so yeah. But Dad got up pretty quick this time, pffeew. I stayed ad Dad's place for a few hours then I took off, it's been long enough. I think I feel a little cold coming up, not that weird with the weather were heaving lately. Warm, freezing, snow, rain, the weather here is like a jojo, and it can't make a decision. I will see what I do tomorrow, first a good sleep, ans probably a nice sleep in.

Ready for Christmas.

Ready for Christmas. 

Yes, I'm ready, though I'm gonna do it differently next year. Yeah, being alone with Christmas sucks, there I said it. Though I will be fine getting trough the coming days, I got a few plans. But next year, I won't be alone, I will take care of that. I might even go on a trip, or I might even have other people around me, who knows. Sure, I can go to some 'friends' I know, but I choosed not to. I rather stay home and enjoy myself then go to those people, sorry to say. (I'm talking about the couple in the (new) flat) So, what are my plans the coming days?

 Christmas dinner at The Wonne, it's the name of the place where the dinner has been held.  This was my plate! It was more then enough

After dinner we went upstairs to the chapel in the church, they have always build up a little stable with Maria and Joseph and ofcource baby Jesus.

Tomorrow will be a day inside, just taking it easy and rest. I must say the rest from the last three days did me really good, I feel good, better. Tomorrow I will be cooking aswell, I bought again a package, these packages I usually buy in the weekends .I love these packages, the package I bought today contained a little bag of rice, a little bag of nuts and seeds plus a little bag with powder for the sauce. On the package was written that I had to add for the preparing, one mango, one leek, a red pepper and moyashi. 

The stable with Maria, Joseph and baby Jesus.

It was a nice dinner, next year for sure again.

 I'm sure it will be a nice dish, I surely will take my time making it, cause I have plenty of time. Talking about food, today I had a Christmas dinner again, it was my fourth and last Christmas dinner for 2012. The Christmas dinner was held at the place where the free dinners during the week are hold, it sure was a nice dinner, see the pictures in this post. It wasn't so busy though, but it was a nice 'getting together' dinner.

Ready for 2013!

Ready for 2013! 

Looking for new friends, friends who I can trust, normal friends. The 'friends' I have now aren't really friends, it's not the kind of friends I want. But, yeah, what are friends? I think everyone in this world have only a few good friends, or let's say soul mates. I want to be surrounded with a few good friends, and the rest relatives. Relatives and friends who I can visit, or go out with, have a good time with, and who I can trust, or can depend on. It's sure not easy to find those, but I'm going for it. I need it, I can tell.

The people where I'm surrounded with at the moment aren't actually the people I want to be surrounded with. They have a different lifestyle then me, though they can be nice and be fun to be around with. But, that's it. It's my goal to search for new people in 2013, I'm going for it! It's sure not that easy to be less surrounded with the people where I'm with now, sure I still will see them with the free dinners during the week. 

It's the fact that 'they' are the only 'friends' I have at the moment, and to make that less, that makes it hard. But anyway, my goal has been set, and I'm going for it. Or atleast try. It's been such a rainy weekend, and oh, it was difficult to make a decision to go out or not. Saturday I didn't went out cause it suppose to rain the whole day, but the rain started late in the afternoon. I thought, I could always go out tomorrow anyway. It's suppose to rain the whole day today too, but in the early afternoon it went dry, sigh.

Though I'm glad I didn't went out today, or the whole weekend, the rest did me good aswell. The plans for this coming week are, Monday I will buy some food for then coming Christmas days. I'm going to cook a major nice meal on the first Christmas day, then in the evening there's the free (Christmas) dinner. Tuesday I will stay in and cook my major meal, just taking it easy. Wednesday the second Christmas day I will be going to Dad, and from there I will go further out. It's gonna be a nice week. attentions

Rainy Christmas days...

Rainy Christmas days... 

Yep, were getting rainy Christmas days, the temperature will be up high aswell. With days like this I wish I was in Canada, sigh, they seem to have automatically snow with Christmas. Talking about Canada, do I still think of Canada? About Saf and her kids? Yeah I do, but differently then let's say a year ago. It's easier to think about them now, the time vanished my missing them feelings. I still miss them a bit, yes, and, specially the kids. Could I return if Saf would ask me? If I was absolutely, absolutely, absolutely sure I could come back, I probably would, BUT! I then want everything taking care off, a Canadian passport, a job, you name it. Crazy guy, right? I know aswell that all of this won't happen.

The Dutch raizin bread we all got after our Christmas brunch, this thing was huge.

With holidays like this it's easy to miss someone, specially when your alone. Though I'm pretty fine, I will come trough these days. With the trip to Paris ahead, it will go aswell easier. Tomorrow I might  go out to a flea market in Arnhem, it's been such a boring day today. I mostly rested and didn't do alot. Yeah, a few groceries and washed a was and that's it. I'm not feeling so well lately, although the Doctor told this week me that my blood results are good, I still feel a little pressure on my chest. A little short breathed makes me more tired then usual aswell, and I feel a little muscle pain on my left side of the chest. It worries me a bit aswell, and worrying makes it ofcource worser. Let's see if the 2 weeks of rest makes the pain less, I think eating healthy will help aswell. Christmas food, lol.

First day of Christmas vacation... and I'm bored.

First day of Christmas vacation... and I'm bored. 

This weekend might be a stay inside weekend, cause we get alot of rain. The Christmas market trip to Maastricht is not going trough, I had already doubts to go, cause it's pretty far, and quit alot of money to travel there. I was already searching for a alternative, Amsterdam maybe or closer, but I couldn't find anything. It's gonna rain alot this weekend, and walking a whole day in the rain is no fun. But, I will see what I do tomorrow. If I decide to go out anyway tomorrow, it will be a trip to Amsterdam. Searching for some Christmas spirit. 

Today again for the third or fourth time 'buddy project' Johan cancelled his appointment, this time he just completely forgot, sigh! Next appointment will be on the 11th of January, yeah, what ever. I just don't know about him, he's not really helping me or supporting me with finding new socializing or new friends.  I do most of 'that'work, ans you know, I'm fine with it. But I must admit, I never met a guy like Johan before, he's not really helping, but anyway. Oh, the Christmas brunch at work was good and filling. I had pork meat and baked potatoes, wow, I was full. 

I'm not that a good munch eater, a few sandwiches and that's it. So, the meat and potatoes were filling my stomach way to much, lol. Including the half glass of champagne, I could have skipped the glass but I was curious. I never had champagne, it was okay. The speech at work was good, 2012 was a very good year. Lots of new customers and lots of orders, we really can't complain, if we look at other companies. After the Christmas brunch I took of to my Doctor, to hear about my blood results. (thyroid) And surprisingly the results were good, or better, it never has been better then at the moment. 

Surprisingly, cause I don't feel that good I must say, that's why I also went for a blood test. I feel a little pressure on my chest when I'm active sometimes, aswell I feel a bit more tired then usual. So yeah, I was surprised about the good blood results. I think the two weeks of holiday rest will do me good, let's see how I feel afterwards. The good news today is my travel documents has arrived today over the post, that's sure a relief. Paris within eight days!

21-12-2012.

21-12-2012.

It's 10:45 pm, and I just woke up from a nap, cause I felt sleepy. Why not just go to bed then? Because I want to stay up until 00:00 has past.Why? Cause something might happen after 00:00, just because of all the comments and crap talk over the 'Maya calender.' The Maya tribe announced that the world will end on the 21th of December, yeah usually I'm not 'that' superstitious about such thing, but today I am, lol. I don't want to be waking up while there's something 'spooky' going on or is about to happen. So, yeah, I'm staying up until 00:00, and will go to bed then. I might wait 15 minutes and then hit the sack. 

Normally I'm not that silly, but the announcement was just 'to' much in the news the last few weeks. When I will just think, "Oh that's rubbish, I don't believe that," you'll see bad things will happen then. Just my thinking, lol. Today was the last day of the year at work, and it was a good one. We managed to finish the 400 little mats, wow! Oh, wait we had 50 little mats extra. I made them, sawed them and a few others cleaned them and packed them. Tomorrow is just a cleaning day and then the Christmas brunch at 12:00 will start. Tomorrow is officially my 'off' day but I will show up just before 12:00 to join the Christmas brunch. 

I'm looking forward to it. After the brunch, it's Christmas vacation! Almost 2 weeks off, yay! Though I will miss the fellow workers and the work ofcource. Yeah, I'm almost addicted to this work, it's going so well and easy. And I'm still learning everyday. Maybe I will go to a Christmas market this coming Saturday,  if I go I will go to Maastricht, Maastricht is near the Belgium border. This journey will take 4 hours by train, almost crazy but okay. I wanted to go to a Christmas market this month, but it still didn't happen. Going with a few 'friends,' was my plan. But yeah, just talking about it, doesn't bring you there, right? So, off I go, maybe, but normally maybe is a yes with me.

Christmas dinner not going trough...

Christmas dinner not going trough... 

And I'm relieved... There was suppose to be a Christmas dinner with a couple of old Humanitas residents, I think you know who I'm talking about. They are, Mark and Margaret, (the couple from Humanitas, who just got their new apartment) and there was Janine and her kids. (friends from Mark and Margaret) We didn't even come together to talk or discus the whole dinner idea, uhm, well, yeah, without me, or with me but then without Janine. The agreements or disagreements was  sure a mess, Mark and Margaret were full of ideas but in the end it all ended up with a 'no.' There should have been clear agreements, everyone together and negotiate pr discus the ideas together. The whole idea was that we all had to pay a 18 Euro each, cause Mark and Margaret wanted to go to Germany to get the food, cause it's cheaper in Germany. 

They both had to arrange a car, they both haven't a licence, well, Mark has one but it's 'out of order,' lol. Janine told me that she's not going when Mark drives without a licence, he's not a safe driver. The disagreements went up about the money paying, I was about to pay the 18 Euro today but the un-clear agreements made me refuse to pay.  I'm glad I didn't, I explained it to Mark today at the 'free dinner.' I was fair and clear with my explaining. Next time we have plans together we really have to discus our ideas together, and not apart from each other. Make clear agreements, surely when it comes to pay money. I'm sure if I would have payed the 18 Euro and the 'dinner' didn't went trough, I would have lost the money. That's some of the people/friends  I have to deal with weekly. And that's why I'm longing for 'normal' people, the 'friends' I'm seeing trough the week are okay and nice but that's it, I better should call them relatives. 

Though I must say, Janine is a nice person and I like being around her, her and her two kids. Let's see how long that last. Sometimes I wish these relatives were more honest and more trustworthy. But, anyway. Tthis Wednesday was a nice rest day. Early in the morning I took of for a blood test, I was planning to go just before lunch, to get a good rest firs, but, yeah, you know me. I was feeling quit good I must say today, not really tired or sleepy, though the nap was needed. Blood testing went fine, just a little 'ouch' and that was it. Hopefully I'm getting the results Friday, I want the results before I'm going to France, cause I might get new medication. I actually think I'm getting new medication, a higer dose or a lower dose. It would be nice to take the new dose with me to France, instead of the old dose.

"Butterflies?"

"Butterflies?" 

Felt a tiny bitty better today, though it was a rough busy day at work. So, the exhausted feeling was easy to blame just on that. Still I want to get a blood test for my thyroid tomorrow morning, even though I need my rest aswell. the 400 mats we have to finish in one week is actually crazy, but hey, let's see how far we come. Sometimes we get more of such huge orders, though we get the orders delivered half done or just a bit done. This week, we only got delivered the material, we have to make the complete 400 mats out of the delivered material, and that's alot of work. We have 4 people working on the order, sometimes 5.

I think we will get the order done, if/when it will go like it goes now. Though work, but we do our best. The blood test tomorrow , I decided to do 'that' in the late morning. the thyroid blood test I can do without being sober. Why late in the morning?  So I can sleep in and take it easy aswell. It's been two rough days at work, rest is needed. I woke up last night around 2:00 am, I needed a bathroom visit, I couldn't get to sleep again, sigh. Though I felt good the entire day, meaning, I didn't felt sleepy. Butterflies? Yeah, hmm, I saw 'Janine' posting on Facebook that she felt she had butterflies in her belly. 

So I assume she has them from me, cause I can't think of anyone else, really. I have been struggling a bit what my feelings were or are for Janine, why do I like her attention that much? What is it that feeling I like being around her? Is it cause I searched for attention that much that I actually am glad I found it now? Or is it that I like company around me to much? Do I actually feel for her? Am I in love? Well, last this morning when I red her 'butterfly' status, I got my answer. I'm not in love, cause her 'butterfly' status scared me a bit, I didn't want that, no! . Meaning, I don't want a relationship with her.

I just want a good buddy where I can be friends with and have a jolly good time. Janine didn't respond that much on her status, I didn't comment either. She just continued her friendship with me, chatting a bit and commenting on some of my statuses. I think time will tell, when Janine will talk about her butterflies, or maybe not even. Though I'm curious, lol. I'm sure we can talk about this, this 'butterfly' subject.

12 days... Paris!

12 days... Paris! 

Within 12 days I will be traveling to Paris, can't even believe how the time flies. Within 2 weeks it's already 2013! It's gonna be a good year, I promise. Paris, hmmm, I don't know what to expect, French citizens don't use fireworks on New Years eve,' that's a bit awkward but hey, it's alright. I'm sure they got something on the last day or night of the year. Though I must say I'm don't feel a excitement yet to go to Paris, I just don't know what to expect being there. I had the same with Berlin, and 'that' turned out great! So I'll see. 

I mailed the travel agency where I'm traveling with to Paris, I thought, maybe they can mail me the travel documents by post, instead of mailing it trough internet. Cause I don't own a printer,  I have been struggling with what to do, buying a printer or no? Or, go somewhere where they own a printer and use it for my documents. Cause 'they' were about to sent it trough internet, so I had to print it. I'm relieved that that's solved now, Thursday or Friday I will get the travel documents. Yay! 

Work went so, so, I didn't felt that well today art work. My thyroid is spilling me up, I'm almost sure. I felt a little pressure on my chest and felt just a bit more out of breath as usual. It worried me, the pain and pressure went of and on though. Still I need to test my (thyroid) blood, and that will happen on Wednesday morning. It's gonna be a busy morning, (sigh) but I have to, health goes for everything! until Wednesday I will take it easy.

Busy week ahead!

Busy week ahead! 

Last working week before Christmas, and we are busy. I heard last week we have a order for 400 mats, that's 100 more mats then last week. Though I have more to do this week, I want to have a blood test again for my thyroid. I can feel it's time, I feel exhausted even when I do the lightest things. Or it's just in my mind, I don't know. Thinking of it makes it worse in my case, just like my Mom use to say when I was little, "Don't think about the pain, or else it will get worse." But some things you can't ignore.

Back in October, or was it September? Anyway, the last time I had a blood test the Doctor told me that my (thyroid) results were so, so, but I didn't have to worry about it, it was quit stable. Yeah, when I heared that, I kept a eye on my energy, being on my hood. And the last two days I felt it, exhausted a bit more then usual, a couple of times a fast heart beat. Signs that I have to take it easy. Tomorrow at work I will see how it goes, I think it will go alright. Wednesday I will do a blood test, sigh, so much work. 

First I have to go to my Doctor to get a paper for the blood test, then I have to go to the hospital for the actual blood test. It will take a whole morning I think, gonna take it easy then cause it's my resting day aswell. Thursday will be my last working day of 2012, I think they talked about a dinner at work, ans probably a surprise. On the same day there's also a last free dinner of the year at 5:00 pm. I will take it easy with the loads of food that day, enough is enough. Roll on Monday!

Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting

Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.

On December 14, 2012, a gunman killed 20 children and 6 adult staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the Sandy Hook village of Newtown, Connecticut, before committing suicide. This was the second-deadliest mass shooting in United States history, after the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre.The gunman, identified by authorities as 20-year-old Adam Lanza, first killed his mother, Nancy Lanza, at their nearby Newtown home. He then drove to the school and shot the employees and students before killing himself. The overall death toll was 28, including the perpetrator.

I have no words for this, I'm still reading about this tragic news every morning. I can't even imagine how it must be for the parents who lost their little ones, let stand for other Family members, friends, relatives, ect, ect. I'm out of words.............. Poor kids!!! 

CPR, yes, no.

CPR, yes, no. 

The huge Christmas tree in Nijverdal, Dad's village.

I have been tired today, although I had two naps. I could feel it was my thyroid bothering me, that's a sign for me to schedule a appointment this week for a blood test for the thyroid. It's about time aswell, I think it has been already three or four moments since I did a blood test. So yeah, I think coming Wednesday or Friday is perfect for that. After my first little nap I took of towards dad, that was about time aswell, it's been three weeks since my last visit. The long walk towards Dad was tough, I was glad I arrived. Dad welcomed as ussual, "Hey, Sjonnie boy." He was eating his lunch/dinner, on the menu today was marcaroni. I bought Dad a Christmas bucket and myself some Christmas ornaments, they were a good price. 

One of the Christmas ornaments I bought today.

 Dad had already a few more Christmas decorations, a little Christmas tree, and I liked the Christmas card holder. He had already recieved a few cards, not mine yet, but that will come soon. Dad needed to sign a paper aswell, Dad's nurse asked me to do that two weeks ago. I told her that I hadn't had time then, but will show up a few weeks later. That was okay, there was no rush with the autograph. The autograph was needed for the evulation rapport, My Dad needed a autograph in his evaluation rapport, Dad's nurse write daily or weekly in this rapport. And in the end of the month my Dad needs to sign it.Today I signed it, and the nurse told me that I may look at it first, and so I did. Now, I saw a few things what the nurse has been writing this week what I didn't like....

Though looking trough the evulation reports is nice to get a update from Dad, but did I see what I didn't like? My Dad's nurse and his Doctor have been asking Dad..."If you get a heart attack or you get something else life treathen, do we need to practice CPR on you then?" My Dad answered, "no". Now, I know my Dad has been from  the day my Mom died in 2000 untill now not in a pleasant mood and specially the first two or three years after my Mom died. He wanted to end his life many times, though they were just words. But still he has been saying it so now and then, though not as often as back then. It's like he says it automaticly, like he's used to it saying it, even without a meaning. 

So, I think when the Doctor asked him about the 'CPR,' he just randomly responed with a no. Dad's 'no' statement confussed me, scared me and dissapointed me, I asked myself, "Is Dad the only one who can make that decision, or do I have to say something about it aswell?" Yeah, I didn't agree with Dad's decision, but after I asked a good friend of mine on Facebook I think of it differently. In our country it's the law saying that my Dad makes that decision, and that's period, Aswell, IF I had the oppertunity to say something about the Dad's CPR then it wouldn't be fair anway to say 'yes' to CPR. When people get older they generally want to go when it's God's time to say go. 

They are tired and don't want to go trough CPR. CPR is wonderfull if the person is still young and has a long life ahead of them. It's Dad's choice ans wish, even though it's painfull and hurtfull to me, I have to respect his wishes. (My friend's words) Respect! When I was reading the CPR thing, it felt a bit shocking, scary and it struggled a whole afternoon trough my head, I didn't want to loose my Dad. But I got to respect his choice, so yeah.......