Christmas is knocking on our door!

Christmas is knocking on our door!

Today the presents will be put under the tree, that will happen when the kids are in bed sleeping. Today was a normal but long day, Saf was nice and I like that, it's better then being ignorant and short, both of us. It makes me feel better aswell, I guess this situation is just awkward for both of us. Today Dako and me planned to go for a walk, and Mar will come with us. When we were on our way Mar wasn't planning to go for a long walk and complained a bit. But she did well and just followed us, we had a good time. We went first to the BMO bank and then to Tim Hortons for a 'Candy cane hot chocolate', Dako bought me one. There so good!

We decided to move on to another store after our hot chocolate's, we knew a short cut. On our way we cut trough a little forest that went downhill. Very downhill! There were sticks and fallen down tree's. On the end of the downhill was someone's backyard. It was such an adventure to go downhill, we had laughs and fun. When we arrived in the backyard we had to run cause we heard a dog barking. It was hilarious, then we headed on to the store, we bought some stuff and went home. I actually didn't wanna go home, it was fun being outside and I didn't feel the pressure from being inside of the house. It's not that easy to have fun and act like nothing has happened or is happening.

The evening arrived and Saf wasn't home cause she was shopping with Tam. (the last Christmas shopping's) When they came back they both started wrapping the last gifts and after that it was time to put them under the tree. Everything went well and everyone was nice. It was a nice day.We all sat down by the tree and Tam and Saf were drinking red wine, they were giggling and had alot of fun. Nothing the matter with that, we all had fun. I was a bit quiet and felt awkward but it was okay. Saf got a bit drunk and started to be annoying and I thought "Oh well". It was 2:30 am and we all decided to go to bed, cause the kids will be up early in the morning for the presents.

When we were about to go to bed, Saf was tipsy and loud. She had to much wine. I was annoyed but I thought "Just let her be". When Saf was in her bedroom with Mar she was talking louder, and laughed hard. The two little ones were sleeping and I wanted to go to sleep aswell. After waiting thirty minutes I decided to go to her room and tell her to be quiet. But it went a bit different then I expected, I asked her to be quiet, but it came out differently, I told her to "Shut the f#ck up". (Oops!) I was suprised I said it, but I couldn't turn my words back, it was just to much I could handle. I guess I was to much annoyed plus the stressed feelings I had in me from the last few weeks. I let the time pass and letted it just be for now. I shouldn't have said it, I felt guilty and sorry.

Saf went on with laughing harder cause she felt insulted, she was right! I said it cause I was annoyed and I thought about the kids and others who wanted to go to sleep plus I was tired and wanted to go to sleep. It was a short night with not much sleep. Sigh! I screwed up again.