You got to move on....

You got to move on....

12:05pm

Sometimes my friends say, "You got to move on, keep the memories with you but, move on." It's sure not easy to move on. My friends sure think of me, I could not continue without them, and I preciate that alot! I have to move on but where do I start? This week  I need a message back from Humanitas, if not?  Then I'm in BIG trouble. Cause I will be homeless then. I did some research on the internet for intstantions who can help me out when your homeless and don't have money. Searching to long for that makes me depresive and  not able to look any further. 

The stories of other homeless people on the internet is to much to handle, it makes me think, "Why me"? "I don't want this"! "Is this reality?" It sure is reality , and I have still  so much to do, but first thing to do  is to find a roof over my head this week . Today I will call with 'Gak' again. I'm already guessing what they will say, "Sorry Sir, your letter didn't recieve yet, can you call again in five days?" Sigh!

I just sent a mail off too Humanitas asking them if they already had some good news, maybe I shouldn't, cause it's still early to respond to them. Friday me and my counseler filled in the form and we spoke to a lady of Humanitas, it's Tuesday now, yesterday maybe they recieved the form, and then they will talk about it today. I just couldn't wait, cause I'm nervous and scared about the result. It feels like 'they' are my last hope.

I was thinking of other Family members who I can maybe call and ask for a place to stay, but those Family members I haven't spoke in years. And then to ask them would be akward, and how on earth do you ask something like that? So much to concern, I hope I have better news in the afternoon,cause I need to cheer up this blog! Don't worry it's comming! It will come.

And it came... 


18:12 pm


So, I went to my Dad again, just like yesterday to call with Gak. Dad wished me a happy birthday, and gave me some money in my hand, but I gave it back. I said to him, "Keep it for now, I might need it later in the week." He said, "Okay." I grabbed Dad's phonebook to look up some Family members and friends, cause the time is running out, I need a place to stay this week . I wrote down  a few adresses from people I know, you never know if they have a place for me.


Time to call Gak, I wasn't even nerves cause I was guessing already what they would say. And I was right. A lady picked up the phone and told me the same story again, the letter did not come yet, it takes five work days till a letter arrives, call back Friday. Sigh! They became to sound like parrots, I wanna bet if I call them back on Friday, they still don't have the letter. Even when I would bring the letter to them I swear they will do nothing with it. I was about to give up! I called my counseler to tell him about the phonecall to Gak. 


He was angry aswell and he asked me what I done lately.I told him that I was still looking for houses and places, and still looking for jobs. My counseler wanted to make a phonecall again with the goverment. And he told me he will call back later. I waited 30 minutes and decided to go home, cause I knew the counseler will send me a mail later. When I arrived at home I opened my laptop, and saw alot of birthdays wishes on Facebook. It does me good when people think of me and that they concern, even though they far away. 


I opened my mailbox and saw the counseler's mail, he wanted me to call him back right away, it was important! I took my coat and ran to the office of the summer camping, I asked for a phone and called my counseler, he had good news. He told me that Humanitas wanted me tomorrow  early in the morning!  I couldn't believe it, and got a bit nerves but felt aswell excited. "This is so all of a sudden," I thought. I need time to relax and prepair myself first when such things happen, but there was not much time. This is a next step forward for sure. 


After the phonecall I spoke right away to the lady of the farm, cause this was my last chance to talk to her, tomorrow early in morning I will be gone. I needed to pay her but I can't, she knows about my situation and she knows I can't pay but she asked me anyway. I told her I can't but I will for sure pay you before the weekend. The lady had doubts first, but agreed later. I felt sorry, cause if I would have the money I would pay her. It feels bad that it has to be like this. I'm sure going to pay her, no matter what!  How? I don't know.


Early up for me tomorrow, suitcases are packed, I'm actually ready to go. What can I expect there? I don't know and I will see, I know I can't stay here. What about internet? I don't know either, I hope they have internet. Keeping contact with my friends is important for me aswell,and writting in the blog to keep you guys informed. 


For now I will say, perhaps see you at Humanitas or elsewhere, we sure will keep in touch!  
I'm ready for my next step trough this proces.... Are you with me?