Good moments... Bad moments...

Good moments... Bad moments... 

It's warm in my little room, today the sun burned whole day towards my windows. It makes my room hot and warm. When I got back from work I was sweating already, by the way I'm not complaining, lol! I love warmth. It's been one of those days again, atleast the work I had today made the thoughts and feelings a bit better, that's why the work is good for me. But grieving so now and then is aswell good. You need to let it out and not hold it all in, right? 

Funny though that I sometimes can do just anything and just think of Saf and the kids and I'm just fine, they are there in Canada having it okay and I'm here having it okay, it's accepted. But just that sometimes I miss 'them,' today I missed in first place 'Tasn,' missing her hugs and her playing games. 

Why does she have to be so adorable? It's just a part of the proces I'm going trough, it takes time, alot of time! The 'No contact,' is going okay, sometimes difficult though, but I need it to heal myself. Although I don't see harm in sent sometimes a little mail once a month or once in two months, just a plain, 'Hello, how are you?' I accepted some things for myself, I'm easier and feeling a bit better. And I'm happy with that. Sometimes I'm feeling bad doing the 'No contact,' cause 'they' might think I leave them be, like nothing has happend the last few years I was with 'them.' I still care about them, even though Saf and I broke up. The last few days I thought about my future, and I have some certain plans. When my life is settled, (A house, a job, enough money!) I would like to travel, that's a thing I never did before I went to Canada.

Traveling to Canada have opened my eyes, I truly loved the flying, and I never knew it was that easy. Before I went to Canada, my life was pretty boring, I had no job, I just get around with my money and did my daily things. And that was it! I'm looking forward to the future, it will be a lot of work to settle everything, But in the end I want a reward and go see the world.  If I had to name five countries I would love to travel too it would be: anywhere in America, Spain, Egypt (heard alot about it, would love to experience it, if it save though) London (again) and yes, Canada (to visit some friends) So, yeah traveling is what I'm looking forward too, and who knows maybe a nice woman while I'm traveling will cross my path. I'm not yet in a rush to find a date, I guess I'm not ready yet. But who knows, life is full of suprises.

I have been working hard the last two days, and tomorrow I planned my resting day, but! When I got back from work and prepaired my dinner, my neighbor needed my help tomorrow. He recently found a new house for himself and tomorrow it was time to fix the walls in his new house. Wallpaper needs to be hanged up, together with three other people. Ugh! I really would love to help but I'm so tired, and really needed a resting day. I explained it to my neighbor but I could just not say, 'no.' Tomorrow at 8:00 am they will pick me up, sigh! It's an honour they asked me though, I'm happy with that. But again, I have to take it easy, cause the next day I have to work again. 


It's 8:34 pm now, in short while I will be heading of to bed, the sleep is needed. Goodnight guys! Sleep tight!