Earthquake and Tsunami...
While I'm sitting here writting this post, there are people trying to save there own lives or other lives in Japan, can you imagine that? I'm trying to switch over from this tragic news to how my day went today, well, I have been following this horrible news and (here comes the switch, ready?) I have been eating pancakes. Some guys here at Humanitas organized a 'pancake afternoon dinner,' everyone one had to fill in on a paper how many they want and what kind. There were panckes with cheese, bacon, or apple, but aswell just plain ones. I had the plain ones and added syrup or jam on it.
How are my thoughts lately? My thoughts about Canada, Saf and her kids. Sometimes I don't even think of them, or I don't have the time to think of them. I'm busy and do alot of things at the moment, and now when I have this work 3 days a week, it's even more bussier. This 'not thinking of them' is good for me right now, it keeps me going what I have to do. Ofcource I will never forget them, and ofcource I have my moments sometime when I think of the kids and Saf. But it does hurt less now,I still feel a bit pain of missing them.
When I think back at the three years I was in Canada, it looks like the three years are getting shorter. Or is it that I'm so busy with things that I forget the time I was there? It's an akward feeling, but deep in my heart I will never forget Saf and her kids, cause I spent many time with them and most of that time was good. And when it happens again when I get that akward feeling, I just remind myself the first week I was in Missisauga until the last week in Barrie. While writting this, I get flashbacks, flashbacks of the first week I was with Saf and the kids.
I still remember the first week I was in Canada, one day in the late afternoon Saf sent Mar, Tasn and me to the nearest gasstation, to buy a huge box of donuts and timbits. It was raining softly and Tasn was running and not listening, Mar walked beside me and talked with me, I was still a bit quiet and in my 'getting used to the family' mood. But it was a nice feeling walking with them and them accepting me. They will be never forgotten. When I think of them now it goes alot easier, it's without less pain in missing them. One day I will think of them and say to myself, "Yeah, that were nice days."
I'm feeling good and okay, and I will be feeling better and better when the time is right. When that time is there, I will try to search contact again with Saf and the kids. Ofcource whenever they are ready, just plain friendship. There is nothing wrong or creepy with that. We will see how it goes, at the moment I would like to settle my life first. It might take a while cause I'm a perfectionist, LOL! Love you guys!!
3 comments:
no there is nothing wrong with missing or being friends. one thing i want to tell you since this was your first relationship. sometimes when ppl break up they want to erase the whole thing or break contact completly. im not sure what saf wants but i dont want you to be shocked if she wants no contact no or ever.
I think (almost positive) I want to erase the whole thing or break contact completly with Saf. Even though I made a new Facebook account, I still sometimes peek in my first account. A friendship is just not working I guess with her, not now and I don't think in the future. I don't want any drama anymore. It does hurt me though, but I really gotta leave her behind me, I need to focus on my life. I can keep contact with the kids, but if I do that, I get close to Saf again aswell. They remind me of her, so now and then I will sent some of the kids a message. sigh!
keeping contact so now and then with the kids would be great, just so now and then a message or a little chat, or sent them a gift on there birthday. I miss them the most.
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