Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacopoeia. ~Napoleon I

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacopoeia.  ~Napoleon I

Yeah, not feeling so well, I wish my cold came trough, I mean let the sneezing or coughing began, so I know where I'm at. At the moment my troath is still feeling tickly, I can't really describe the feeling. I have this feeling always before a cold comes, in the past I had it aswell but then it was more nerves or stress. You know the feeling when your not breathing trough your stomach but higher up trough your chest. In the past I had excersizes from a gymnast, or how you call such a person. She learned me how to breath properly, breath trough your stomach and not trough your chest. The best way was to breath and see your stomach going up and down, that's a calm breath. At the moment when I feel and see myself breathe I breath trough my chest. it feels like having nerves, I'm not breathing properly. This kinda breathing will go over when my cold comes trough. I sneezed already a four times, so I'm good, lol! 


That nerves breathing what I had in the past was a pain, I don't have that anymore. When I smelled paint for example my breath got locked by it self, I was breathing trough my chest, I disliked painting something in that time, lol. It was like a burning feeling in my troath, I had the same with chigarettes and ciggars. I disliked being sick when I was a teenager, I tried almost everything not to get ill when I felt I became ill. I informed medical books, and ate alot of fruit, just trying to find a solution not to get more ill. I laugh about it now, I still see my Mom comming in the room while I was checking out medical books. "Let me guess," she told me then, "You feel like your getting ill again?" Checking the medical books and trying everything to forcome to get more ill made it only get worser, lol.I just needed to sick it all out, let the illness come. My Mom always had a saying when I felt something again, "Don't think about."


On with this Sunday, a day of rest, here and there I did something and that was it. I ironed my working clothes, made myself food, showered and took three naps. Today was also the day that Ricardo came with his Mom Catherina, they arrived around 3:00, and as expected Ricardo was shy and quiet, lol. Ofcource he was happy to see me, but he was to shy to show it. I bought him a little bag of candy and a bottle of Fanta. But Ricardo wanted to go home after twenty minutes, he wasn't feeling so well he said, little shy boy, ofcource it's quiet alot what he's going trough, no wonder he's quiet. I hope everything will go well for him, and that he finally gets a proper location where he can live and just be a boy of 8 years and play with his friends. Today aswell I got a message back from Saf, she had different important things on her head that's why the not reply sooner. I understand that, and actually expected that aswell to be honest, it's alright. 


I will be short about this, cause in my eyes that's the right thing to do. We both have to make another deal about my belongings, shipping items to another country is a expensive thing to do. She can't afford to ship my belongings and I can't either. There is an option to split the shipping price, but still it's alot of money. I told Saf that she doesn't have to worry about this, I told her to focus first on her other important things and in the meantime I will think or try to think of an other solution for my belongings. I will aswell think about splitting the price. I even thought about of just letting it all be, leave my belonmgings there. But let Saf first do her things first and I will do mine, I'm sure my belongings wont walk away in the meantime, right? Decisions, decisions, decisions, money, money, money.