If I wasn't being overwhelmed with so much love and kindness back then, I would have never had made the decision to go to Canada.

If I wasn't being overwhelmed with so much love and kindness back then, I would have never had made the decision to go to Canada.

Reading posts back in my blog can be fun and bring back good memories, but aswell bad memories. Specially the first few months... ofcource, cause of the break up. There was a line in one of my posts that bothered me, "You loved me more then I did." I know after a break up you get those missleading talks from exes, I should just ignore it, though it isn't that easy sometimes. About her saying 'You loved me more then I did,' when Saf and I first met online I was carefull and took it very easy, the kind words and love from her were ofcource nice but I was on my hood. I been hurted and been let down a few times, and that isn't fun. But Saf was serious... And slowly, step by step I felt for her too. "She fell in love with me," I couldn't believe it! This is serious, it's a 100%, I knew it. I could tell by every detail, every word and every action she did towards me. Long chats, everyday emails, her kids on the phone, wake up calls, every day phone calls from her, day in day out. 

And then the big step towards Canada, we were serious, "This woman loves me, and I feel great." I was scared falling in love though, Saf was my very first love , my very first relationship. I knew for sure that it would be difficult, I hoped I could handle myself. I told Saf already before my first meeting, "I have been waiting so long for this, I'm a ticking lovebomb!" And the bomb went off, I have been spoiled with love, kindness, gifts, and lots of attention. We were both happy and in love. Though as the months past by the so called ups and downs came along. I really had to get used to this new life, it was here and there quit overwhelming. Everything went by so, so fast, no time for thinking, just go, go, go! But this realtionship was really what I wanted, I went for it, fought for it. Then the break up in December 2010, I was done, I was exhausted. The love, kindness and attention were getting less and less, "You loved me more then I did," yes, untill the end........

Those missleading sayings or words are not hurting anymore, it's fine, it's been good, I learned from my time in Canada. I became stronger and wiser, it's been a far away trip but it was surely worth it! Oh yes!! I can close it now and see it as a good memory and a great adventure. Alright, on with this day. It's been a calm day, I rested and did here and there a few things. I bought a hoover today, lol, or a vacuum cleaner, so many ways to call it. They were on sale for a nice price, I bought a nice red one.It's so cute and small, tomorrow Iwill try it out. My second time cooking fresh beans went well,this time it was even better I must say. I didn't add onions and tomato sauce like last time, I didn't like that. I cooked the beans for 5 minutes, then throwed them in a pan where I already added butter. Heated them up on a low fire and then added a bit of oregano. Yum!

"Friday on my mind!"

"Friday on my mind!"

Thank God it's Friday as some people say, I don't mind though what day it is. Weekends are nice, but in the weektime I have a jolly good time aswell. Though the Friday means that the needed 'rest' has started. I had a nice sleep, I went to bed not that late, I think it was around 11:00. I got up around 7:00, and took it easy. I started the first load of laundry early, around 8:00. I have such a load of laundry, lol. Last few days were warm, exhausted warm! When it gets to warm in Holland we get thunder, this morning we had the first explodes with lots of rain. Dang! I just was about to get my weekly groceries when suddenly the clouds were getting darker and darker, "Now I have to run," I thought. 

But after I putted my clothes and shoes on it already started to rain. I decided to wait till the rain stopped, I thought of a nap first aswell, lol. But then again I wanted to get things done in the morning, so I can rest in the afternoon. I will be going out for a little while in the evening, but more about that later. The rain stopped and quickly I putted on my coat and took off, first stop the Doctor, for my blood results and new medication. I was not even 10 seconds on my way and the rain poored down again, sigh, quickly I rushed over to the trainstation, it was the nearest where I could go. Oh dear, it poored down pretty hard. After 20 minutes it was dry again and I continued my journey. 

Hiding for the rain this morning at the train station...

 I spotted a air balloon in the evening, it was much closer then it looked on the picture...

At the Doctor's I got to hear that my bloodresults are good, stable and good. That was good to hear. Though if they would have said that it wasn't so good I wouldn't be surprised aswell. It's sometimes hard to say how I feel with this sick thyroid, then I'm tired and then not, then I feel this or that and then I'm feeling good again, it's almost like a jojo going up and down. Anyway, on to the grocerie store I went, I like doing my weekly shopping, I take my time and I don't rush trough the store, lol. Recently I buy just a bit more then usualy cause of the fresh vegatables and I like to try new food what I usualy don't eat, or just a bit of a expensiver product. Last week I bought butter for the bread, but not the usual butter, no, olive oil butter. 

Excitment all around! In the store I will decide what to eat for the comming weekend, this time I took (again) the fresh carrots and beans, I had them before and they were nice. When I got back towards home it was still dry, no rain. But it was warm, oh my! In the afternoon I took my rest, napped and went on the laptop. Like I said, in the evening I will go out to a old resident from Humanitas, it's Ricardo's Mom. I promised her to come again for a visit after I went there somewhere in January. But I had to chancel it a few times, tonight around 6:30 I took off, wow, it was hot outside, atleast it was dry. The visit was nice, I stayed there for a 90 minutes. We both aren't such a talkers, we watched tv and had a coffee, we talked aswell ofcource but not that much. 

Rest is needed...

Rest is needed...

I have been out quit a few weekends now but this weekend I'm thinking of staying here and take my rest, it's been a busy week and today at work was busy aswell. I'm actually looking forward to do not that much these following days, I will enjoy myself with my cooking, and enjoy my rest. Tomorrow I will go first  to my Doctor for my blood results, and afterwards my usual Friday's grocery shopping. I have no clue what to prepair for dinner tomorrow or the following days, lately I always try something new. Trying new fresh veggatables is my favorite, three weeks ago I tried to cook fresh beans, after that it were the fresh carrots and last week the brocoli, all with succes. They all were delicious, perhaps I will try the fresh beans again, I will see.

Like I said, work was busy today, I worked on my own section with the leader of that section, his name is Mirsjad and was born in Croatia. He's alot younger then me, he's around 30 and works like a horse, no one can keep up with him.We got much done, at the end of the day. It was here and there a bit overwhelming but okay, I managed to finnish my order what I needed to finnish today, and a bit more plus the rest. I like the way Mirsjad works, he's a bit like me, though I have a limit, I can't go for a 100% cause of my thyroid, and I surely won't. I do what I can do, with sometimes just that little bit more if I feel I can. I said it before, I love the work I do! Though there is something, uhm, how do you say it.... 

...There are groups formed at work. I mean, uhm, let me explain, we have differnt kind of workers at work, we have the Turkish people, we have the Croatian people and the Ducth people. It isn't that weird that most of the Turkish people sit with each other and the Croatian people join them. With the breaks they sit with each other aswell and not in the cantine but just outside or just inside  the factory. The rest of the workers mostly Dutch and some Turkish people sit in the cantine while having our breaks. Why? Uhm, perhaps they don't want to sit with us according to the Dutch people, and there were here and there a few jokes going around... 

In my eyes they are sitting somewhere esle because of the language and I think aswell because they are foreigners... they join each other. I think there's nothing wrong with that, let them, it's fine with me. I sit in the cantine aswell, cause that's the place where I always sit with breaks, I'm used to it. Though I hear here and there a few complains of the Dutch people, they are asking themselves why 'they' don't sit with us, following up to that the usual joke around. I think that's a part of the why they sit somehwere else. I heard yesterday from my Boss that the atmosphere is gone, "It isn't as it was before anymore, in the past they all sat with each other," said my Boss. 

Today I heard from Mirsjad that there were here and there a few bad jokes about foreigners from some workers in the past, that's a part aswell why 'they' sit alone, add 'foreigners join each other easily because of the language,' and there you have it. I think that's a pity, they should just join us, but I guess it's maybe to late for that, we all are used to it now. About forming groups, I wasn't quit right, ofcource there's here and there sometimes some jokes and aswell some complains from the Dutch people, but we ALL talk and communicate aswell with each other, there are no enemies and there's no hate. Maybe we just have to accept that 'they' sit somewhere else, and that they search each other up for a talk or a joke, it's all fine with me.

I think this 'topic' will be continued in the following posts so now and then.... "The atmosphere is gone," last week I heard someone saying, "Atmosphere is what you make yourself."

Early visitors...

Early visitors...

Everything was on schedule this morning, I had it all planned in my head. Cleaning and dusting before the 'visitors' arrive for the 'farewell party,' (read: last meeting) A guy will show up aswell between 8:00 am and 11:30 am, he's gonna check the water in the house. (Measuring?) That was fine aswell, It all fitted in my plan. The visitors will show up at 12:00, and all went fine, untill............. my counselor suddenly showed up around 10:00. I thought, "Wow, he's early," but I didn't say anything. He told me when he came in, "Maybe you needed some help or have some questions before the meeting." We sat down and spoke a little, I surely wasn't ready yet. I still needed a wash up and had to prepair the coffee, tea and waffles. But I still had time I thought. My counselor said,  "You know the meeting starts at 10:30, right? "What," I said, "What, I thought it was 12:00! "No, 10:30, the others will be here in ten minutes."

A little panic started, I rushed over to the kitchen and prepaired the coffee, tea and the waffles, the waffles needed butter. Then on to my daily wash up, then the doorbell went, the guy for the water check up arrived. The guy came in and did his job, not even five seconds later the first visitor showed up, my counselor from Humanitas. I still had a butter knife in my hand with butter on it when I guided her in. I welcomed her and she sat down. I finnished the waffles and waited for the other visitors. (The daily wash up can wait, I thought, I'm pretty enough! LOL) My Boss from work showed up shortly after that, surprising that she came, it did me good. I served coffee, tea and the buttered waffles and the meeting started. The meeting was nice, first was the round of introducing. My Boss seemed pretty excited and was interested in everything what was going around me, the persons, what I have been trough, Canada, etc, etc. 

That was nice to see, I didn't quit expect that. The whole meeting went good, it was nice to hear from everyone what I all have achieved and managed, it rained compliments. My Boss wanted to know what excactly happened after Canada, she quit knew my story but not everything. I explained it but stumbled a few times in my words, although it was a comfy meeting it was quit chaotic too sometimes. After my explaining I nearly shedded a tear, I went trough alot, and it's been a while since I told 'that' story. The meeting was a succes, they stayed for 90 minutes. I can be proud of myself for what I achieved. Though the last thing what still has to be achieved is social contacts, that's still a point that bothers me and my counselor. We talked about it in the meeting aswell, now there's a company/agency called 'Buddy wanted,' and my counselor will be signing me up for that. 


'Buddy wanted' is a company/agency what helps you searching for social contacts, I have heard about it, but I have let it be. I though I could manage it it on my own, but I got a bit stuck with finding new social contacts or vollunteers work. It just is hard to find something, so a little help is always welcome, right? I will get a call for a intake after I am signed up, then someone will help me with finding those needed social contacts. It's all new for me aswell, so I can't explain much about 'buddy wanted.' All I know that it's almost the same as getting a counselor for a certain time, just like I had with my ol' counselor. Only 'this' counselor will help me with social contacts. I'm looking forward to it! I will be searching aswell, like I always did, but now I will get help with that, sounds good to me.

Sore muscles!

Sore muscles!

I came back from work, sat down, and I didn't wanna get up. I wanted to shower and after that warming my dinner in the microwave, I was tired. After 6:00 I finally got up and took my shower, and afterwards warmed up my rice with sauce and chicken, yum! The shower did me good, perhaps it's a good cure against sore muscles. Work went well, it's busy, almost daily new orders come in. In the late afternoon someone from the office came towards me and asked me if I can get 'a order' done before Friday. Our 'first' man from our section was busy elsewhere, so the person from the office asked me, lol. I told her that we can arrange that yes, on Friday. And she walked off. 

The 'first' man told me later that it will be a tough job to get 'that order' done on Friday, "I will let you do 'that order' on Thursday," and he winked at me. In other words, you told at someone to the office that it can be done, so you do it. I can do it yes, but it will be tough and hard, I will do my best. Ofcource they will help me when I don't get it done, but I will try to finish it myself. I know it's all jokes, but I didn't remember that we have other orders aswell this week that has to be done, lesson learned! Everything is almost done for the 'farewell party from my counselor. Only here and there a bit cleaning and tidying up, and then were done. Tomorrow at 12:00 they will come for a little hour.

Saf replied to my mail last night, she was friendly and that's the way I like it. She told me how she was doing and asked me a few things of how I was doing, and here and there a few tips from her. It was a comfy and nice mail, it did me good. Although we broke up, and although I won't return to her and her kids, I like that we can still mail to each other. So now and then a message should be good, were no enemies, we don't hate each other. This is how I wanted it, the love is over but we will remain as good friends. I hope that will last.

Cold!!

Cold!!

I can't believe that I layed on the beach a month ago, it must have been a dream. I'm cold, I have put a second blanket on my bed, and don't know if or when I'm gonna put the heater on. Though I worked with short sleeves today, a bit cold in the morning but later on it went warmer. Work went fine today, I had a few moments I felt pressure on my chest, that wasn't a pleasant feeling. It worried me and I decided to take it easy, yeah, I should rest more when I have days of. Later on I felt a bit better, lately I have to go to the bathroom more often then normal aswell for a 'small message.' If you know what I mean. Last night while I had my sleep I had to get up three times for that small message. Normally I never have to get up. 

Work was busy, some orders had to be done today, and some this week. Never a boring moment at our section lately, I like it. Though the chest pain worries me slightly a bit, Wednesday I will ask for the blood results for my thyroid at my Doctor. I wonder what the results will be, I guess I have to take care of my energy just a bit more, spread my energy over the days and take my rest. Sometimes I feel great and then I just give it a bit more then usual. over-excited I guess. Anyway, we will see... Last Saturday night I sent Saf a tiny letter trough the mail, why? I don't know, I thought, why not? It's been a while since I let hear from me, two or three months. Just a tiny regular message with asking hows she is doing and how the kids are. 

Were not enemies, we broke up and that's all. I could aswell not let hear from me, and let the two years I have been in Canada just be, like nothing has happened. Although we broke up we had some fun and good times aswell, I just can't forget that, it's a nice memory. once or twice a year sending a mail would be nice, maybe it fades away as the years go by, I don't know. Saf didn't reply yet.

Sunday, rainy day!

Sunday, rainy day! 

Rain, lots of rain today. Almost non-stop it went on and on, perfect to stay inside today. As usual I didn't do much today, ironing, and I cleaned the til's in the kitchen, that needed a good rub. There was some noise today from my new Turkish neighbors, there about to move in. They take their time, I think there already been busy for quit a few weeks now. Sometimes the noise is annoying but okay, it brings some life in the flat aswell, I don't mind. I have no clue who's going to live beneath me, I only know that the person is Turkish. When 'they' are working on the aapartment they are coming with lots of people, family, friends, relatives. It's nice and interesting to see them moving and working aswell, it's all going in harmony with lots of noise. Turkish people always talk loud I assume, laughing, singing.

Yesterday's dinner, I must say since I'm eating fresh vegetables my belly feels fuller then usual. I nearly can't finish my plate, lol, perhaps smaller portions is better. My stomach needs to get used to this food changing I guess aswell...

I like living in this flat, it gives me the feeling that I don't live alone, That gives a comfy feeling, when I enter this flat, I always have that feeling that I'm not on my own, I'm living with other persons in a flat. Okay, we know it now Sjon, lol! It will be a full week again this coming week, lots to at work, the so called, 'Farewell party' from my counselor, hope I get some rest aswell. Lately I'm  more out of breath then usual when I come to rest, sometimes that heavy feeling on my chest, just like I had last Saturday morning at Ikea. I have enough resting days from work, on theser resting days I need to get my rest. And not run around from here to there. I guess I need to divide my energy a bit more, and not think I can do it all at once. Like my Doctor once said, "Do what you can, and if it's not posible, then don't."

"I don't need a car."

"I don't need a car."

I'm 44 years old and I never owned a car, I had driving lessons though, but failed two times with theory. The nerves killed me, I stopped after several lessons, it just wasn't my thing. But hey I tried it! I never had the urgent or the need to take lessons again, I was fine. I could go where I wanted with the train, bus, bicycle or with a taxi. Though there were sometimes a few times I wish I had a car, that was when my Dad had to go to the hospital for his check ups, or for his little accidents. My Aunt and Uncle drove him always then. My Aunt nagged to me in that time that it was really time that I get a car, she was right then but it was impossible for me to get a car then. No job, less income, I just couldn't afford a car. Even now I can't afford it, and even I could afford it I wouldn't get one I think. I'm so used to not have a car, if I had one I guess it would just stand there, lol. 

Ikea on the left and the bus stop on the right...

 Today was Ikea on my to do list, I googled the directions by train or bus or both. It was kinda easy to get to Ikea, just hop on the train and then hop on the bus for a few minutes, the bus dropped me nearly of at the front door from Ikea. The whole trip took less then a half an hour, love it! Ikea was quit busy with here and there a few screaming and playing kids, that's what you can expect on a Saturday. Although it was still early in the morning, it was getting busier. But I enjoyed the shopping, taking my time and have a good look around, the busy crowd I took for granted, lol! Ikea has such nice stuff, and all for a reasonable price. Though I couldn't take that much with me cause I was with the bus and train, (I don't need a car." Hahaha!) I saw a nice tv cabinet but it was to heavy to cary with me, aswell a nice painting, to big, but oh so nice! 

Carpets in all sizes and colors at Ikea...

I bought a few items what I needed and what I kinda needed. I bought a collander, a bowl, a duvet, two nice brown buckets for the cd's, a cutting board, pillow chases, and a Swedish sandwich with small meatballs, lol. After several hours I went back towards home, I was tired and I kinda got what I needed, I was satisfied. Still it amazed me that the bus and the train were so easy, in a no time I was home. I still needed a few groceries, I did that right away when I got home. Afterwards I took a nap......................... I slept more then two hours, dang! The last few days I have been running around a bit to much I guess, tomorrow it's rest, rest and rest. This coming week will be busy aswell at work, it's all good. When I take enough rest, it will be fine.

Picture time!

Picture time! 

I did quit alot today instead of resting, though I took my usual nap(s) aswell, ofcource cause it was needed. I was tired and had a bit of a heavy feeling on my chest, but what had to be done had to be done, right? I decided to take some blood for my thyroid, I'm almost out of medication so, it was time. My Doctor gave me medication with a higher doses cause I had so now and then heavy or fast heart beats, that's a sign that my blood levels for my thyroid were just a bit to high. Taking the blood went well, I felt it but no ouch, lol. 

The results I will hear from the doctor next week, I think I'm alright with the levels, but ofcource if or when I continue with the higher medication the levels will get higher or lower again. I'm used to it. After the blood taking I did my usually Friday's groceries shopping. After my first nap and lunch I took of the the second hand store in another village, but didn't succeed with buying stuff, I decided to go to the nearest garden centre near my house. I succeeded there, I bought a few things I needed. (See the pictures)  I had a nice day, the weather was good aswell, here and there a cloud but the temperature felt nice...

Now some pictures!

I'm having fun at cooking, I bought a kitchen skirt, LOL! 

Very first time prepairing fresh carrots, but I guess I was a bit to overwhelming with the brown sugar. Just a bit to much, I'll remember it for next time.

Found this bush of carrots in the store, not even one Euro! You can see they are fresh right?

I bought this today at the garden centre, this store looks a bit like Ikea, but they sell mostly plants and flowers. I needed some decoration on the wall in my little kitchen.

I was so excited when I bought this at the garden centre, I like the color! It suits so well, tomorrow I will be putting something on it, perhaps a plant or....

I like taking pictures, I always have my camera with me, where ever I go. I took this picture a week ago I think in my city, I saw these highland cattle's and I had to take a picture of this beauty.

One more....

Ducks in the park as always, you really have to be aware where they lay or walk, they just walk or lay everywhere... 

These are nice too, but these were behind fences. Ofcource otherwise they will cross the road. They were making so much noise...


















Tomorrow should be a nice day too.... I'm going to Ikea! Watch your money Sjon! I will, don't worry.

"He should be the one who has to explain men how to do this and that, not me"

 "He should be the one who has to explain hwo to do this and that, not me"

Great day at work, though I wasn't looking forward to this Thursday. I was tired and felt sleepy, I guess I worked a bit to hard the last couple of days. I had a slow start this morning, but there was a important thing that had to be done. 'That' kept mem going. We had to make hundred mats for a costumer, it was almost not to do, but we came pretty far actually. Tomorrow it should be done, I'm sure. A fellow worker helped me, and he asked me several time how o do this and how to do that. Kinda funny cause he was working so much longer here then me, it gave me a good feeling aswell. I'm a part of the team now, I'm one of them, and that feels prettty good.

Tomorrow I planned to go to Ikea with Ina, Ina was a resident at Humanitas who I know well, she lives on her own now pretty close in my neighborhood. Sometimes we visit each other so now ansd then, and sometimes we see each other in the city, it's always nice having her around. I can say she's a good friend, yeah, and that's all. I can say aswell if I have a problem what's bugging me, or I'm in need of a talk she will be there for me. Today, she was the one who needed a talk. We talked and it was good and fun as always. So, yesterday I asked Ina to come with me to Ikea, we talked about it several times to go out once, but we only talked about it, lol, nothing ever happened. 

Today I thought, "Okay we talked enought, let's go out. Yesterday Ina told me she was coming with me, but today she told me she's not, she had a headache and wasn't feeling well. She wanted to drop by for a talk, a needed talk. I was slightly releived that we didn't go to Ikea, LOL, cause Ina wanted to go on her scooter. She will drive it and me on the back, lol. Last time I was on a scooter? I think I was eight or perhaps ten. So, yeah, I was slightly nervous, lol. But next time we go, for sure. I had a nice day, work went well and it was comfy, ans Ina's visit was nice aswell. Oh Sjon, are you perhaps in love? Noo!! Ina is a friend, just  a friend, she's not my type, lol. I'm happy single....................... for now!

Fast Wednesday.....

Fast Wednesday.....

Just a day off and it's going so fast, before you know it's already evening and time to go to bed. But it was a nice day, I had a good sleep aswel. Usually I get up early (very early) but this morning I slept in a little, I got up at 7:30. I took it easy and enjoyed my breakfast and my laptop, I finally could log into my ING bank account aswell. What a relief, although I'm not a super fan of banking online, but hey logging in without problems is nice, right? I still have that awkward and anxious feeling when I log in on my ING, nerves that my money is shorten, or worried that my money is more less then I expected. I have to get used to log in more, and knowing that everything is okay.

My counselor was early today, it's been a month since he visited me. This visit will be our last regular visit, next week there will be a farewell party. (with guests) Not really a party ofcource, but just a last visit with rounding things of and perhaps a toast on the happy ending. My counselor invited a few people, people who were important while being at Humanitas and people who guided me afterwards. One woman from Humanitas will be there, the boss from my counselor and Paula my first counselor from Humaniats, I asked for her. And surprisingly my Boss from work will come too, (woot!) my counselor sent several invites, aswell one to my Boss. I told my counselor a few weeks ago not to invite her, cause it might be awkward for her, It gives me a awkward feeling too. 

My counselor didn't agree with me and he called her anyway, my Boss was surprisingly excited to come. Still I don't know, it gives me that 'pushing her' feeling, she might be busy, and it's still find it awkward to invite a Boss. Who on earth invites a Boss to his or her's house? I signed a contract just a month ago, I'm not that 'close' yet to this job. I hope my Boss didn't find it weird when my counselor called last week, I hope she doesn't find 'me' weird aswell after the invite. Is this not creepy this invite? will she not find the invite kinda creepy? Okay stop it now Sjon! Enough! LOL! (Oh, I'm just a bit worried about my counselor inviting my Boss, slightly worried that she might stop the contract on the end of the year cause of the invite.)


I need to get started with 'having more social contacts,' joining a team or a club, joining a group of people or a sport. My counselor said it aswell. "Your talking alot over joining this and that, but it's only talk, nothing has happened yet,"  I'm doing my best to find something for in the weekend, but it's going slow. It's hard to find something here in this city, I'm aswell busy with work. Though my counselor is slightly right, I know I have to find social contacts and I really want to, but it's not happening, it though.... I hope I find something soon, cause it's so important to have social contacts. I enjoy going out, and I do that so now and then, but alone! So now and then I like being on my own, but hey, it's so now and then much more fun to go out with another person, or with a group of friends. 

I remember a few questions my counselor asked me today, he asked me if I have a few persons in my life where I can tell my story to, or where I can be open with, etc, like if you have a problem or you have something to say what you don't want to tell to strangers. After thinking I answered, "No I don't really have, uhm, or, well, maybe, I don't know. It made me think, and funny enough I thought about this a few weeks ago aswell, I don't have close friends. It would be different if a few people from Facebook would live in the neighborhood, lol! But still, I need to get surrounded by more people, getting more social contacts.

"You fit in right well here!"

"You fit in right well here!" 

This morning I got a very nice compliment from a fellow worker, this fellow worker is actually our team section leader (As I call him) I just did my work like yesterday, giving it a 100%, (were still so busy) and all of a sudden Henry our team leader comes towards me and says, "You fit in right well here!" I laughed first and thanked him. "I'm serious, your doing a good job," he went on. I thanked him again. I had compliments before, but from Henry, no. Henry is more a worker then a talker, so I guess the compliment from him towards me felt good, or actually better. It sure did me good, I can tell you that.

Today was like yesterday at work, busy, heavy lifting, lots of work. I finally got my brand new working shirts, my first ever working shirts. They are dark blue with a little logo from the company on the left side, and they are huge, geesh. I should have ordered a L- size instead of a XL- size, I just washed on 60 degrees, maybe they shrink a little. 

Otherwise I have to wait until the next order, next year(?) Two T-shirts and one polo-shirt, I'm still waiting on the long sleeve shirts, but I guess they will come later on in the season.  After work I bought a little bit of groceries and headed home for a shower and some food.

I had to make dinner actually but I didn't feel to, normally I have left over from Sunday, but last Sunday's dinner was a fail, lol. I made pasta with fresh cherry tomatoes, onion, raisins and chicken breast, not that a good combination. I don't like fresh tomatoes, I baked them a little to make them soft but... yack! I made peanut butter jelly sandwisches tonight, that was filling aswell. So, I thought tomorrow was the 'farewell party' from my counselor, but no, it's next week, sigh. I prepared a little, and I made a tiny little schedule. (cleaning the house a bit) So, it's next week, oh well, gives me time to tidy and clean up a bit more then....

Exhausted day at work...

Exhausted day at work... 

There was so much new material on our section today, all material where we have to make mats from. Finally actually, a few weeks ago there wasn't much to do and now, it's almost insane so much. We will have to work hard to get it all done. I tided/added the mats together or in shape, some mats were huge, longer then six meters. It's alot of work and kinda monotonous, ( Hey, I discovered a new English word) but hey, someone's gotta do it, lol. I was up and down today, my thoughts were, "Oh let someone else do this, look at all the material what still has to be done, this will take more then a week." Or, "Alright, let's do this, let's finish this!" I was suppa exhausted after work...

Still there was the free dinner, exhausted or not, I always go! The dinner refilled me with new energy, I'm ready for tomorrow! I really gave more then 100% today, I think I have to ease down a bit though, take my rest aswell. I never could do this work a whole week, the two days in the weekend for rest won't be enough then. I realized that I'm not that a talker at work, though I'm doing a bit better then let's say four or five months ago. I can hear it in my voice 'when' I talk, it's not loud enough. Normally when I talk to someone who's close to me or just a stranger I speak with a normal voice, but at work... nope. Maybe it's because we have to wear earplugs at work, lol. It sounds different then when you talk. Speak up Sjon, you can do it!

Fathers day!

Fathers day! 

Yesterday I didn't feel like going, I was tired and wasn't feeling well, I had alot to do aswell plus a busy week ahead, I needed my rest. Though I decided to go cause deciding not go didn't feel good on this special day. Afterwards I'm glad I went, what was I thinking skipping this day not to go to my Dad. First of all there weren't trains riding this weekend, so I had to go with the bus. There were special busses this weekend, cause of the trains not riding. It was a bit of a mess with the busses, cause I didn't know what bus I had to had what was going to my Dad's village. There were several busses, asking is always the best option.

I asked a busdriver and he told me to wait for bus number 335, alright. After a while more busses came, but still no number 335. I asked another bus driver, and he told me that he was going to Nijverdal, right on! The bus he was driving wasn't number 335 but number 192, oh well, it was chaotic with all these busses. I was sitting with another passenger heading to Nijverdal, such a huge bus with only two passengers, lol. The drive was pleasant, there were many roadblocks, so the bus driver had to choose different ways and roads, that was quit entertaining. so much nicer aswell with the train aswell. 

Arrived in Nijverdal there was this long walk again towards my Dad, sigh, I didn't feel like walking but I had to.  There was a hard strong wind but I had the wind in my back that felt good. When I arrived at Dad's place he was eating a small piece of applecake. The nurses defenitly think of you on special days, a Fathers day applecake. Dad was looking well, he was dressed nicely and I think he had a haircut. I think I spent a little hour with him, it was nice and comfy, I'm glad I went. Ofcource I had to go! I will never skip a Fathers day! 

My Dad, anno 17-06-2012! I think this picture is the best I ever made of him. (He doesn't smile much on pictures)

Tonight's the night, the last chance for our national football team to go trough to the quarter finals. They have to win against Portugal with two goals more, example if Portugal scores one goal, Holland has to make three goals. If Portugals scores two goals, Holland has to make four goals. It will be a hell of a job but I have faith in them, there good players, only they have to show it. One thing I don't like is that this match will be played at 8:45 pm, that's late! I will have to stay up a little later as usual, or more later. Oh well, we will see. Tomorrow's gonna be busy aswell with work, I guess I will just float trough this hectic week.

Kind of a lazy day... it was a must!

Kind of a lazy day... it was a must! 

I decided not to go Dad today, I slept not so well, I woke up with a pressure on my chest and felt exhausted. That feeling slowly faded away trough the day, I had to take it easy. I felt sorry and not that well not going to my Dad, it's Fathers day tomorrow, and he was kinda expecting me I think. I will make it up to him big time next weekend, for sure! Just in case I sent my Aunt a message with telling her I'm not going to Dad, my Aunt asked me this week if I was going. I could go tomorrow, but I still feel not so well, this comming week will be busy aswell at work, so yeah, rest and sleep is what I need.

This coming Wednesday I will get my last visit from my counselor, he will bring a few staff members with him, one of them is from Humanitas. (That's the shelters name where I have been staying for almost 8 months) The visit will be a kind of a 'Farewell party,' as my counselor said. When they come on Wednesday I would like to have my little villa tip top, clean and here and there a few new items. As you know I bought already a few new plants and a new painting, I cleaned already a few things aswell. Wednesday morning I will clean the rest, my Mom always said...

"When you have the kitchen and the bathroom clean, then there's nothing to worry about." So yeah, the bathroom and the kitchen will get a quick clean up this Wednesday. I received again a letter from social services, it's the same letter I received two weeks ago. I filled everything in and sent it there way, now I got the same letter again. It's telling me that they received the first letter I filled in, but then there saying, "If there's any change in your life situation you will have to report this on this letter," and that's it. But I did that last week!? I have to do it again? Or? I can't find a answer on the letter, I will have to wait untill Wednesday morning when I visit social services.

Because they are only open in the morning from 9:00 till 12:00, sigh. I expected to received a letter from them with a certain answer, cause I still receive money from them every month. (has to do with minimum wage) I filled in 'that' paper last week to get an answer on the question, 'do I still get money from them every month or not?' If I get a answer this week, and it's a no then I will have to pay back money from the last two months. Gosh, there so slow sometimes! Anyway, like I said a busy week. Today was here and there nice, I cleaned my balcony a bit and did my last groceries. Further I rested, slept and rested.

Just a bit fed up with the weather.

Just a bit fed up with the weather.

Though it's not that cold, it's sure doesn't look like Summer. It's grey, sometimes wet and the temperature difference is almost insane. It's still just June I know, but still, hopefully with the Summer vacation the weather will be better. That would be nice. Gosh I'm going to Berlin, I almost forgot. I'm getting excited, in the first week of August on a Monday I will be leaving. It's not even that far, Berlin is in Germany as you know. Traveling by bus and I think it's just three or four driving. The excursion trip will last eight days, I'm sure it's gonna be fun.

Quit a busy morning this morning, I finally decided to clean the outside window from my living room. The windows outside from my sleeping room were already done last month, that was easy to do cause of my little balcony. But the outside windows in the living room were almost impossible to clean. It's not a easy job when you live on the second floor, lol. I thought about calling a window cleaner, but decided in the end to do it myself. I grabbed all the 'window clean gear' I needed and added a few things more. Lot's of clods and old towels plus duck-tape.Yeah, duck tape.  

The tool I used for drying  the very last (difficult/impossible) part of the window! Noticed the duck tape? LOL!

Last week I bought a plastic stick where I could add the puller (or how you call such thing) on,the puller I use  to dry the windows with. Though the hole in the puller was to big, but I still had duck tape what I could use to wrap the puller with around the plastic stick. Some parts were kinda easy to reach, but some parts... Ugh! First I did the easy parts and the most difficult parts later. The last part what was impossible to reach I had to do standing on the little balcony from outside my sleeping room, lol, the neighbors must have been thinking. But I managed, the windows were surprisingly clean, pffeeww, they were DIRTY...

When I was done it started to rain softly, good timing. I was glad it was done, hell of a job but happy I was done.  In the afternoon after my lunch and nap I bought my groceries for the coming week, I bought a tiny bit more then usual. I bought fresh beans, beans what I have to cook longer then the regular ready beans what I have to warm up from out a can. I found a recipe in a magazine and I wanted to try it, my first time ever preparing fresh beans. I succeeded nicely, I so gotta do that more often, cooking with fresh vegetables.

Something with potatoes!

Something with potatoes! 

After having this weekend so much rice dishes, I long for something with potatoes. I know Friday and Saturday are always potato day, and Sunday's rice or pasta. But this coming Sunday I will make a special potato dish, I don't know what but I will figure something out. I already have some recipes but I will have to choose what I like, tomorrow is a good day for that, groceries day.

Nice day at work, it's busy, it's almost running against the clock. I kinda like it though, I like the challenge, but there's aswell a line ofcource. But hey, bring it on! Again I was working on another section, but I didn't mind. I just have to accept that I'm a all rounder, as the fellow workers call me, lol. Today we almost finished a mat for Norway and a mat for Sweden, heavy mats! Tomorrow the complete mat must be done for delivery.

Next week I will be working on my own section again, we have to deliver 9000 mats before August, hell of a job. We will do our best, and I a little bit more, lol. Today I had a bit of a slow start at work, I dropped many things, here and there a few little mistakes, I so dislike that. But oh well, just one of the days I guess. This coming weekend I have no plans so far, only I will visit my Dad. It's been a while since I visited him.

Upcoming Sunday there's Father's day, I will buy Dad a little gift. Oh before I forget! Holland lost the match yesterday, Germany won with  two goals against one. Germany deserved to win though, Holland played so bad, such a pity with such a good players. They didn't play as a team, to slow and not connecting with each other. Though Holland can still go trough if they win the match against Portugal, they have to win with two more goals then Portugal. Are they gonna win? Naaah, I saw better teams then Holland.

May the best soccer team win... Holland!

May the best soccer team win... Holland!
The 2012 UEFA European Football Championship has began last week. This tournament is being hosted by Poland and Ukraine. Sixteen countries are involved on this tournament, Croatia, Chez Replublic, Denmark, England, France, Germany, Greece, Italy, Holland, Poland, Portugal, Ireland, Russia, Spain, (they won the last championship) Sweden and Ukraine. Ofcource I'm for my own country Holland, and I must say our Dutch national team is not doing so well. 

They lost the first game with one goal against Denmark. Tonight they have to win the match against Germany, or it's 'goodbye' for Holland. My expectations are 50/50, I don't know. Germany is known as a strong team, they always have been a strong team. Holland has strong match players aswell, but it seems there's always difficulties around the players. Not playing well, low or lame game, strange though cause they have such good and strong players. Let's see what will happen tonight, I'm sure gonna watch. A little bit of excitment here!

This Wednesday was nice.. Though I woke up a bit to early. (As always) It was almost 6:00 am, after being on the laptop for thirthy minutes I thought, "Yeah, let's have a little nap." I slept more then 90 minutes in a row, that felt good. I so didn't expect that, after my nap I made breakfast, washed myself and went on my way. Today is the day I will be hanging my first painting, lol. First I needed stealen nails to hang the painting... 

Here it is, my first new painting!

I already had a few paintings in mind, I bought it in the same store as I bought the new plants last Saturday. The store where I bought the stealen nails was actually a bit further away then the garden centre, but oh well the weather was good. After I got the nails it was time to head over to the garden centre for the painting, dark clouds came rolling in. But the sun was there aswell, so no worries here. Looking trough the huge store I finally saw the painting what I liked, though it was here and there hard to choose. 

I saw a few paintings what I liked aswell, they had Boudha paintings and other farm animals paintings. But I choosed for the two sheeps in the grass, I find this painting a bit extrodinary but I still like it. It's colorfull, it suits well with the red wallpaper and it really brightens up the livingroom.I'm happy with it, it's quit a big painting aswell, it's a meter by a meter. Love it! I slept much today, now while I'm writing this I feel like napping again. I had my dinner, in about two hours the football mach will start. I could take a nap but I'm worried I wont catch sleep tonight, it's already late aswell. Oh well, staying awake, coffee is the cure!

"Facebooking."

"Facebooking." 

Oh yeah, Facebook, I never skip a day. I could do a day without though, even a week if I had to. Facebook is fun, Facebook should be fun! Though sometimes it gives you a awkward feeling, or a worried feeling. Sometimes you feel confused aswell or disorientated I always like Facebook, even when I feel sad or worried or feel alone, perhaps even when I'm feeling left out by my friends on Facebook, I'm such a nut sometimes, LOL! . Facebook changes your life, sometimes positive  and sometimes negative, that's a fact, or is it just me finding that. I don't know. Facebook is for sharing anything from yourself and others, pictures, thoughts, adventures,  daily things, your friends or family, just anything.

What are the positives and negatives of Facebook? (I took this from a forum) 

Positive - it connects you with people from years ago, I have people on my facebook that I have not seen in 20 years.

Negative - it tends to be kind of addictive and becomes a "how popular you are tool" rather than a social tool. How many wall posts you have, how many friends you have seem to determine how popular you are in the world of facebook unfortunately.

Positive - You get connected to your friends easily. I've even managed to get in touch with my kindergarten mates ... imagine that. Besides that, their 'photo tagging' comes in handy too - good way to share those party photos. Oh! and the birthday reminder really helps!

Negative -  I find that many people use their facebook profiles to paint their lives the way they'd like them to be & lose sight of the reality.

Positive -  it has been positive I have been able to connect with friends and family.

Now, I do agree with some of the above. Here are a few agrees,  'It connects you with people from years ago.'  It sure does, I have aswell friends from years ago, and still we are in contact. "It tends to be kind of addictive and becomes a "how popular you are tool" rather than a social tool." The addictive part doesn't worry me that much, I can take a break whenever I want, and I will when I want, stopping with Facebook? Now, your pushing it!! LOL! Now, the 'how popular tool' is... Well, I must admit I had a time that I tried to be popular on Facebook, I really liked the attention way to much back then. Now I'm cured, I still like the attention but I'm not so overwhelming as in the beginning when I first signed in.

Though sometimes... tssk...tssk!  Like I said before, Facebook is for sharing things with your friends all over the world, Facebook is for fun, don't get carried away I have to add one negative point to it though, 'Sometimes people take Facebook to serious,' I'm one of them, I do it to sometimes. Taking it to serious, getting carried away, being overwhelmed, though not the addicting part! Facebook is the first site I log into when I open my laptop, and I keep it open when I surf trough the net for latest news, mail, blog, etc, etc. I had a time when I shared alot on Facebook, I mean ALOT, to much actually. I still have that sometimes, I always think then, 'Oh please, should I really post that?'  Commenting on other friends statuses has  also been a issue...

I unlearned that habit off from Saf, NOW I think twice to comment on someones status. I commented alot on Saf's statuses in the beginning of our relationship, hey! I was in love! I even had little issues with Saf when she commented on her (manly) friends, I tried to make not to make a big deal about 'that,' but gosh, sometimes. I saw it as flirting, lol, what was I thinking?! In the beginning I didn't even realize that the commenting was to much, but later on I lessen the commenting. That was tough though, I think I created myself after that a 'I can't comment on what other friends share on Facebook to much' disease, lol. Even now I have it sometimes... 

I hold myself in so now and then when I want to comment (so badly) on a friend's status or picture, "You JUST commented on the persons status! And now you want to comment again on the persons picture? What will they even think? It's annoying when you comment to much, you know?" Deep sigh, lol! It's SO much more fun to just do what you want on Facebook, just  be nice, have fun, share and don't take it to serious, don't get overwhelmed, don't get carried away, and be yourself. Amen! (Note to myself: read all of the above, lol) 

Today. 

Today I had a tiny little accident at work, skip the hard work we all did and the feeling exhausted but satisfied, sometimes we have some fun times aswell. We as workers need sometimes laughter aswell , singing along with the radio or sometimes throw a wet paper ball, lol, well I saw a wet paper ball a bit to close today. A fellow worker wanted to throw a wet paper ball  back at me in the afternoon, but it went a bit to hard. I received the ball right in my face, and it went pretty hard. My glasses fell off and I had a little scarf on my nose, just between my eyes. The fellow worker was shocked that it went so hard, and so was I, my first concern was my glasses, the pain was so so, I wass till breathing, lol. 

My glasses were still okay, surprising after such a hit. I needed a little bandage on my nose, cause it was bleeding. I'm okay now, and the glasses needed a good clean up. The fellow worker apologized a few times, he even wanted to pay the damage for the glasses if they were broken, nice. I wasn't mad at him at all, such things can happen, and hey I too throwed today a few balls. I will be carefull next time. 

Monday, Monday!

Monday, Monday! 

What can I say about this day, not that much really. I'm gonna keep it short I think, it's been a day like every Monday. Working ofcource, today I stood at a machine what hammers brushes into a plastic lath, hope lath is the good word for it, perhaps a square stick then? Okay square stick sounds a bit better, with 10 or more of those square sticks plus the brushes added you can make a mat. Oh! Here's a picture, lol. 

Standing behind 'this' machine was kinda easy, that was a relief. The only thing what wasn't so pleasant was walking from left to right, it made me kinda dizzy in the beginning. I had to pay attention alot aswell, in the afternoon I got more used to it and I started to like what I was doing. We will be working hard this coming month, we received a new order from the US, more then thousands of mats has to be delivered. Maybe we will have to work in shifts, I don't mind.

I heared today some sad news aswell, Reha is quiting. Reha was the old re-integration company where I worked for almost a year. There I made several wooden furniture, Reha sent me aswell to the place where I'm working now, Slettenhaar.' (Internship) I owe alot to Reha, I had such a great time there and learned so many things. Reha could not afford there stuff and workers anymore, such a pity.... I hope they continue somewhere else.

Sunday's recipe!! Italian Risotto.

Sunday's recipe! Italian Risotto.

Sunday's, Oh you know what it's like, resting and getting thing ready for Monday's work. Oh, and cooking ofcource, I think Sunday will be my officially cooking 'special' day. Ofcource I cook on Friday's and Saturday's aswell but then I cook just plain food, potatoes, veggies and meat. Sunday's I always try something different, cooking with spices or  'never eaten that much' veggies, or olive oil for example. I learn how to cook with other food recipes that way. For example marinate, I never marinated meat or potatoes. Now I do! It's so much better tasting, aswell I try to cook healthy. Fresh food is the best, but yeah, usually I buy veggies in little cans, maybe that I have to change. Fresh veggies from the market is an option too, or just the supermarket. 

Anyway, on with the Italian Risotto. 

Ingredients: 350g chicken breast, 250g mushrooms, 1 zucchini, 400ml water, rice, marinate mix and herb mix. Maybe it better to get a Italian marinate an herb mix, I'm sure a supermarket has those.

This recipe is easy to make, so here it goes. 1. Cut the chicken into small pieces. Mix the marinade mix with two or three tablespoons oil in a bowl, stirring is a must. Add the chicken pieces and stir it again. Let it all marinate untill five to ten minutes. 

Marinated the chicken pieces.

2. Clean the mushrooms and cut them into quarters. Wash the zucchini aswell and cut into pieces.

3. Bake the marinated chicken in a frying pan or wok over high heat (oil or margarine is not needed). Add zucchini and the mushrooms and cook them for one minute.  

I'm getting hungry again watching this.

4. Add 400 ml water in the frying pan or wok plus the contents of the herb mix risotto and the rice, stir well. Stirring it well is a must, and let it it simmer for about ten or twelve  minutes s until most of the liquid/water is almost gone. 

Added the 400ml water and the herb mix.

5. Remove the pan from the heat and stir well. Let the dish stand for two or three minutes, stir again thoroughly and serve. Risotto is a soft and creamy rice dish. This ricedish is usually a bit wet. 

I cooked the rice seperatly, cause I my frying pan wasn't deep enough for the rice. So I struggled a bit with how much water I had to add to the mushroom, zucchini and marinated chicken. I knew 400ml was way to much so I less the water till 300ml, after I added the 300ml water it was way to much. I mixed it all together, the content of the frying pan and the just cooked rice. The Risotto was okay, a bit to watery and perhaps a bit to much mushrooms. But the package said 250g, lol, I even saved five or six mushrooms. Next time I will do it differently, but hey, not bad for a first time making a Risotto dish.

Italian Risotto, bon appetit

I had a good weekend, it was nice and relaxed. I did the things what was needed and did the things I wanted, all good. I'm happy that work is calling though tomorrow, yeah I said it before, I love my job! I hope it will less until I retire. Bring it on.

Another full morning... and another extra large nap.

Another full morning... and another extra large nap. 

I don't know, but maybe it's the weather changing from warm to cold weather what makes me tired and sleepy. Sometimes it's best not to give in to it that much, a huge nap after my lunch felt good. It was a grey and cool day today, the for spelled rain stayed out gladly. In the morning I posted the envelope with the copies from yesterday, and then I took off to do my last groceries. I could sum them all up, there not that much, lol. Cheese, mushrooms for tomorrow's dinner, one loaf of bread and crackers for work, that was it. Everything went as planned, maybe I should have taken a scarf with me, kinda chilly without. 

After putting the groceries in the fridge and in the bread bin, I headed out again to the garden centre. I so love it that I have a very nice garden centre near my house, it's only a few blocks away. I planned to buy some decorations in my house, specially plants. This store is huge, I so love it, you can actually compare it with Ikea but then for gardens and such. They have alot of kitchen stuff aswell, and also decorations for in the house, main thing they sell is plants and flowers. I was looking for a few plants what can stand sun light, not that easy though. I Googled a few sites and forums, so I was kinda knowing what I was looking for. 

A short look in the store where I went to this morning, they had a new pillow section, so nice! 

Pillow's, pillows and more pillows.

I saw alot of things what I could need but, damn those prices. Sometimes I felt awkward lol, looking trough this store. Little furniture items, dishes, plants and flowers, vases, decorations, I just love it! And I'm not even gay, should I be when I like this? Making the decisions of buying the plants was difficult, I even saw a few huge cactus's, but how on earth should I take such plant home? I was on my bike, lol. Anyway, after enjoying myself after an hour I bought 4 plants and a few pots, I had my hands full. The price was unexpected good, I though I had to pay more. Now it was time to figure out how to get home with four full bags on my bike.

On my way home, fully packed! Easy moving forward? Naah, step on the gas!!

 

A few of my new plants, the ones with the black vases are new, the ones with the white vases are old. The old ones will be replaced for new ones this week.

I grabbed ten or more plastic bags from the store ans started packing, I'm glad I didn't buy more cause the thing I bought was definitely the limit, I couldn't carry more. four bags full all tighten up on my steering wheel, slowly I returned home, cycling! The clouds became darker and darker and the wind blowed stronger, it was all good, I lived near. Arrived at home I unpacked the bags and installed the plants where I wanted them, a few old plants had to go. Hopefully these new plants will hold out longer, if not, then I will go for a few fake plants. The new plants look nice, I'm glad I bought them. 

One of the new plants, these were on sale. Instead of 10 Euro I had to pay only 5 Euro. Not bad! 

Aswell a new one, I bought two of those.

Time for a nap!

After my lunch I took a nap, and again, just like yesterday I was a large nap. Almost 90 minutes it took, I guess it was needed. I had to make a early dinner, the Dutch football team had to play a game against Denmark. The European Championship 2012 has started this Friday, excitement all around everywhere. Some houses and streets in my City are decorated with orange flags and items, and ofcource Dutch flags. I watched the game and enjoyed myself, all though they lost the match with 1 goal from Denmark. The Dutch team had so, so many chances, but Denmark had the luck of scoring one goal.

Next opponent for Holland are Germany and Portugal, sigh, strong teams, go Holland!